Slightly off topic.. just a thought question. Does anyone here have a family, friend, loved one- somebody who has passive aggressive behavior? I am just at my wits end with hubby-- Thanks
I think everyone knows someone---a family member, friend, whatever---who exhibits passive/aggressive behaviour from time to time. I believe it's just their way of controlling whatever situation they happen to be in at that moment. Obviously, no advice from me, just letting you know you're not alone.
I had a passive-aggressive boss at one time. I got out of the situation by leaving the job which isn't an option with family. It is an extremely difficult behavior to deal with and I never did figure out how to deal with it. As with all maladaptive behavior the object is control and if the behavior works for them than it is reinforced and will continue.
Ugh I positively despise with unrelenting passion passive aggressive crap. I know a ton of passive aggressive people and my reaction is to immediately eliminate the passive part and jump right into a full on cut the crap say what you need to say and let's duke it out position. I can't even begin to describe how angry passive aggressive comments and crap make me.
When df tries to raise my hackles he tries p.a. he normally tries it when he knows something is bothering me and I won't talk about it. I blow up and let it all fly when it happens. Then its all out on the table.
I can't stand that pa type. My response is to open my mouth, raise one size of my lip in a snarl position and just stare at them like they're stupid. The " raise one eyebrow" stance also works. I worked at football with one woman who did that constantly. I'd just reply " do ya REALLY wanna go there?" and she'd walk away. Heh heh heh.
Hoo boy, don't even get me started on how much passive aggressive people annoy me. :lol3:
Seriously, I know it's maladaptive behavior, but that doesn't help me tolerate it any better. I just don't get why these people are afraid of putting their feelings about something out in the open. If you're mad, talk to the person you're mad at! Jeez! How hard is that??