Part 2 (kind of???) on introducing my cat

[kalmia]

I posted a thread a few months ago detailing me introducing my cat to my roommate's cats. I've made lots of progress but I kind of am at a standstill as to how to integrate him fully with them. A huge boulder to this process happened a week or two ago, where Mars (9 months, my cat) nipped Hunter (8 years, one of my roommate's 3 cats) on the neck, where he happened to have a cyst (was there a loongggggg time) and it popped. We took Hunter to the vet, he was fine, got it drained and is on antibiotics and is basically fully healed a week after getting it drained. Ive been keeping Mars in my room since this injury, with only supervised playtime while I've been home yesterday and today. I'm a littleee worried he will endessly pester the older cats to the point that one of them will get injured again. With my roommate's other cat, Moo (8 years), being super underweight and balding (unrelated medical issue) and Mars being overweight from sneaking people food (broke into the pantry and ate an entire ceoissant yesterday) I worry more about the other cats getting hurt more than ever before. I play with mars about 30 minutes a day but I still feel like it's not enough to override his excitement when he sees the other cats (
mars - Google Drive

^^this has some videos of mars playing with the other cats while not trying to wrestle them lol

 

[ArtNJ]

Well, play biting the neck is a totally normal thing. Its done between cats in equal play, and it happens a ton more when one cat can't or won't move -- i.e., when one cat is super eager to play and the other is too small, too afraid, or just can't be bothered, to move. So, respectfully, this was a health problem not an introduction problem. A 9 month old should probably never be introduced to an older cat with a cyst on its neck while the cyst is there. (I'm assuming a cat fang piercing a cyst creates infection risk but dont actually know if that is true. Perhaps it doesn't, in which case it might have not been an error at all.)

If the cyst is gone now, I'm not sure what the actual problem is. I mean, no matter how much intro you do, a 9 month old is quite likely to be a PITA to the older cats. But they get used to each other and things improve over time. If there aren't going to be real fights, at some point you need to take the plunge and let them be together 24/7 (with breaks to recharge and get love). This increases the stress at first, but its the way forward.

Some times people have this idea that they can orchestrate a perfect introduction and do everything for their cats. Its mostly a myth, especially when their is an energy mismatch. The intro can't get them 100% of the way there. Rather, its job is to make sure that they won't fight for real, and put them in position so that they can make progress on their own. Not saying you've done everything you can, without the full story I can't comment on that, but just saying this is a common mistake people that really care and love their cats make.

But I haven't read the original post and am missing details.

 

[silent meowlook]

Hi.
This might be a situation where it isn’t in your roommates cats best interest for your cat to be sharing their space unsupervised, or even supervised. At least for now.

Was the roommate and their cats there first or did everyone move into the same space together?

What I would do for now anyway, is add some vertical space to your room for your cat. Invest in cat TV setting it up so he can’t hurt himself. Make sure you have a cat tree etc. work an additional 30 minutes into your play routine in the morning. So, play at night and in the morning.

I would keep them away from each other for now anyway. Your cat shouldn’t be biting anyone. But, you can’t directly stop that behavior. You have to make environmental changes to make your room more interesting for your cat.

 

[kalmia]

My roommate's cats were there first, and Mars got there a few months ago. Right now I write this from my room because Mars tackled Hunter trying to play so I scooped him up and put him in my room. Mars has a big cat tree in the corner of my room, with lots of scratching posts and hiding spots. He has play tunnels and a playpen, with soft blankets and a pillow, as well as about 20 toys all over the room for him to play with when I'm not there. I'm torn between letting Mars roam free and thinking about finding a new roommate without other cats who might be okay with adopting a younger cat Mars can get along better with.

 

[kalmia]

Well, play biting the neck is a totally normal thing. Its done between cats in equal play, and it happens a ton more when one cat can't or won't move -- i.e., when one cat is super eager to play and the other is too small, too afraid, or just can't be bothered, to move. So, respectfully, this was a health problem not an introduction problem. A 9 month old should probably never be introduced to an older cat with a cyst on its neck while the cyst is there. (I'm assuming a cat fang piercing a cyst creates infection risk but dont actually know if that is true. Perhaps it doesn't, in which case it might have not been an error at all.)

If the cyst is gone now, I'm not sure what the actual problem is. I mean, no matter how much intro you do, a 9 month old is quite likely to be a PITA to the older cats. But they get used to each other and things improve over time. If there aren't going to be real fights, at some point you need to take the plunge and let them be together 24/7 (with breaks to recharge and get love). This increases the stress at first, but its the way forward.

The cyst is gone and healed now, and watching how Hunter has interacted with Mars today (let Mars out for a few minutes while I made breakfast) when Mars bites him or tackles him Hunter doesn't hiss, just makes this chirp-squeak sound. However, it's clear that he is uncomfortable with it and I want Hunter to be comfortable in his own home. Plus, one of my roommate's other cats, Moo (8 years), is balding and really underweight and I wouldn't want Mars trying to tackle her (though I've never seen/heard it happen and she's never been hurt)

 

[ArtNJ]

Your trying to orchestrate all the way to complete toleration without any distress. An admirable goal, but generally not realistic with a youngster and middle-aged or older cats. They will need to do some work on their own. Your also asking a 9 month old to not be a 9 month old, which will definitely not happen. He will always try to play wrestle the other cats, that is what a 9 month old does.

 

[kalmia]

Ahh okay Mars is my first pet and my first cat so I am not the most experienced when it comes to stuff like this and I freak out a little. Thank you for this, I think I will increase his playing time and let him out after longer playing sessions so he's more calm.

 

[ArtNJ]

Totally understandable, the better of an owner you are the more it hurts for them to be distressed. But adding a sub one year cat with an older cat, there is generally going to be some stress no matter how long of a process you go through. Some 8 year olds do ok, but its in the age range where they often act like a senior cat and have a hard time adjusting to an energetic youngster.

You can try adding a high scratching post if you don't have one (or a second one in another room). Cats like elevated spaces, it helps them feel safe. Years ago, I had a senior cat that took forever to fully tolerate two youngsters. Finally, after years, he had a few brief stretches where he actually played with them -- when he had the high ground. Brought a tear to my eye, no lie. Even then he might hiss or growl some if they got too frisky and he wasn't elevated. Breaks for closed door love are good too.

Some other posters ( A Alldara Mamanyt1953 ) have some additional confidence building tips they will hopefully chime in on.

 

[silent meowlook]

I honestly don’t think, for now, your cat should be out of the bedroom if the other cats are around. You’ve had some negative experiences and need to walk this back to total separation.

 

[kalmia]

Maybe this is right as well, I still am heavily considering moving out so Mars can get a friend coser to his age. For now keeping him in my room might be a good move since I am only not home for maybe 3 hours a day. But I keep bouncing between decisions because every experienced cat owner I talk to has a different opinion. 🥲

 

[silent meowlook]

Hi. And they always do. My thoughts are that this isn’t fair to the resident cats. Also, if this keeps up, sooner or later someone is going to start spraying.

Anytime you have a bad situation arise with cats, you have to go back to the stage where all cats are comfortable. Maintain at that for a few weeks and then move on to the next step. Cats take a long time to adjust to new surroundings and a very long time to adjust to other cats.

 

[Alldara]

Maybe this is right as well, I still am heavily considering moving out so Mars can get a friend coser to his age. For now keeping him in my room might be a good move since I am only not home for maybe 3 hours a day. But I keep bouncing between decisions because every experienced cat owner I talk to has a different opinion. 🥲

This is an excellent idea if it's feasible. Young male cats like to wrestle and your cat might want this until he's 8 years old!

You've got the added bonus of someone being there with you, but that you are also trying to balance that the other cats are someone else's and they might have different expectations etc for you to manage.

A ArtNJ is right in that you can't expect a young cat to never try to play. Building the older one's confidence through play is important. How much play are the older ones getting?

Having your younger ones play happen where the older ones can see I think is important too. So like playing with him in a mutual area if he won't get hyper-focused on the older cats or in your room with the gate so the older cats can watch if they like. A mutual hallway is an excellent place for that too.

If all the cats eat dry food (with your roommates permission) you can do a kibble toss for mealtime where you have kitten run and older ones move around a little. It's an excellent bonding game. Again, this is where it's a little trickier because I'd usually say just get a different from their regular food, cat food to use as a treat but the older ones aren't your cats and you can make that decision without permission.



Personally, I've always found intros to roommates pets harder. Nobel never enjoyed or played with the other cats (except one where the kitten was bonded to me as well). Yet he played with and loved Magnus and Calcifer. He certainly wanted a playmate, even in his old age. I did accomplish one where my roommates cat could sleep with us (Lily on my head, roommates cat in my arms and Nobel on my feet) but she and Nobel still hissed at one another and were otherwise avoidant. Frequently, he would tolerate only one of a roommates two cats. He and Lily were a horrible personality match to begin with but the one roommates cat who they bonded with really brought them together for awhile. They both loved Minou and cuddled him and Nobel would wrestle him. So yes it might be more of a working towards tolerance.

 

[kalmia]

How much play are the older ones getting?

Moo and Hunter chase each other when Mars isn't around, while Cleo (8, Hunter's sister) is not a fan of any of the other cats or of playing. I am not too worried about her though because she lets Mars know not to bother her and he leaves her alone (I've heard him chirping at her and pacing while she hisses/growls at him, she is the only cat he doesn't bother). Moo and Hunter, while playful, aren't particularly active unless there's catnip involved. Hunter will bat at a feather toy when I try to play with him, and Moo will chase a spring toy (but no other toys just that one) while Mars launches himself across rooms to chase something that slightly moved in his peripheral vision.

Hi. And they always do. My thoughts are that this isn’t fair to the resident cats. Also, if this keeps up, sooner or later someone is going to start spraying.

I am not too concerned with spraying because all the cats are fixed but I do still think that maybe Mars should be in a household with younger cats. I actually have started apartment hunting to try and see what pet-friendly options there are in my area, and thankfully there are lots! I also have been messaging one of my friends about their cats, who are 3 and 4, and how they keep up with all their energy and the best advice I've been given is that another cat with equal energy would be a good match.

 

[kalmia]

I just thought of something I should add! I did not know Hunter had the cyst on his neck until Mars bit it right before my roommate left on a trip. I actually freaked out because I thought the lump was an abscess from being bitten and I was so so worried!! But that's also part of my concern-- since the cyst will likely reestablish itself in a few months I don't know if I could let Mars roam free again knowing his energy level and that he could nip him in the same spot again, having him be at risk for infection (

 

[Zara12345]

I posted a thread a few months ago detailing me introducing my cat to my roommate's cats. I've made lots of progress but I kind of am at a standstill as to how to integrate him fully with them. A huge boulder to this process happened a week or two ago, where Mars (9 months, my cat) nipped Hunter (8 years, one of my roommate's 3 cats) on the neck, where he happened to have a cyst (was there a loongggggg time) and it popped. We took Hunter to the vet, he was fine, got it drained and is on antibiotics and is basically fully healed a week after getting it drained. Ive been keeping Mars in my room since this injury, with only supervised playtime while I've been home yesterday and today. I'm a littleee worried he will endessly pester the older cats to the point that one of them will get injured again. With my roommate's other cat, Moo (8 years), being super underweight and balding (unrelated medical issue) and Mars being overweight from sneaking people food (broke into the pantry and ate an entire ceoissant yesterday) I worry more about the other cats getting hurt more than ever before. I play with mars about 30 minutes a day but I still feel like it's not enough to override his excitement when he sees the other cats (
mars - Google Drive

^^this has some videos of mars playing with the other cats while not trying to wrestle them lol

He does look like he doesn't know what to do with all that kitten energy
The important thing to note is that Mars is still a kitten and some cats have a higher playdrive than others so there's only so much you can do to burn off the extra energy. What he really needs is a feline companion; preferably a kitten between 4 and 6 months so that he can play, groom and have a companion HIS age. As much as we try to give our cats everything, they have needs that can only be fulfilled by another feline. Unfortunately, Moo is more like a middle aged human compared to Mars who's just peaking during adolescence; they may not have the same interests as Mars is not at the age where he would play as interactively with Milo. If it is an option, a kitten friend could really turn things around

 

[Zara12345]

He does look like he doesn't know what to do with all that kitten energy
The important thing to note is that Mars is still a kitten and some cats have a higher playdrive than others so there's only so much you can do to burn off the extra energy. What he really needs is a feline companion; preferably a kitten between 4 and 6 months so that he can play, groom and have a companion HIS age. As much as we try to give our cats everything, they have needs that can only be fulfilled by another feline. Unfortunately, Moo is more like a middle aged human compared to Mars who's just peaking during adolescence; they may not have the same interests as Mars is not at the age where he would play as interactively with Milo. If it is an option, a kitten friend could really turn things around

*sorry
I meant Moo is not at at age where he would play as interactively as Mars