Our six month old kitten went missing 2 days ago...

[irrationallypie]

Thank you, haha! I really appreciate that -- it's nice to have an outlet. And I suppose that's true as well, although I think we probably would have had to do most of the work ourselves anyway even if not for COVID. Yes, definitely -- talking and spreading the word is the most important! We put up new signs today, and already, someone has reached out to us about a kitty who's been coming around their apartment for the past month or two. I think they live a little bit far (~6 miles from my house), but I also think the worst thing I could do is dismiss this without even giving it a chance.

I've been able to post on the lost and found pets Facebook page for my area, as well as on Nextdoor and Instagram! I make posts every week in case someone new sees it. In fact, Nextdoor is how the lady who found Clipper (which is what we named the kitty we trapped) reached out to me, although I think she says she initially saw one of my posters.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

While six miles is a little outside of their normal range, it certainly would not be unheard of, especially if something frightened him and he ran! Worth checking on, for sure.

 

[irrationallypie]

Loki's been missing for seven weeks today.

There's a trail close to our house that leads to the local university, and the apartment complex I mentioned is on the trail and is basically part of the campus. This place is like a hub for strays! Several people who live there have already told us that they've seen a kitty who looks like Loki...but then again, gray tabbies are extremely common, and I doubt they're all talking about the same cat! Even so, I don't think it's completely impossible that he could have ended up there, and I do wonder if he could have followed another kitty or if he was even absorbed into the stray cat population there. We've been going to the apartments regularly since then but probably at the wrong time of day since we rarely see cats when we go. But still, it gives me a bit of hope, and it's an extra place to look!

Honestly, at this point, my main suspicion is that Loki had gotten onto a car and was accidentally transported just out of our reach. It's just so mysterious how he could have vanished, seemingly out of thin air, with nobody in our neighborhood (that we know of) who's spotted him. Neighbors have suggested that he was probably eaten by a coyote or a fox, and while that will never be an impossibility, I just don't think that's what happened to him. I refuse to think that he's dead. I even hope that he ended up in a similar situation as Clipper, with a family who saw him outside of their house and decided to take him in!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Dusk and dawn is when the ferals will be most active. Or, you could ask around if anyone is feeding them, and at what times. Cats KNOW when they are going to be fed. LOL, mine know the schedule so well that if I am more than 5 minutes late, they have started knocking their heads against the door!!!

 

[irrationallypie]

Haha, true! We did see two gray tabbies when we went the other day, but one was too pregnant, and the other too small.

Here's to hoping Loki's still out there and that he had a good Christmas, wherever he is.

 

[neely]

You have been so diligent in doing everything possible to find Loki that I hope and pray he turns up soon.

 

[irrationallypie]

Thank you so much! All of the support I've received here from you guys has made this very difficult experience a little less painful, and I thank you all deeply for that.

 

[irrationallypie]

Sorry in advance for all of this! -- some of my musings/assumptions for today about what happened to Loki:

I think I've said this before, but the more I think about it, the more plausible the idea that Loki had jumped on a truck or car that morning becomes to me.

The morning he went missing -- November 5th -- Loki had slipped out with Uno, unbeknownst to my dad. As far as I'm aware, Loki had never strayed far from Uno before -- he was like his very persistent shadow. He adored Uno. When we went around talking to our neighbors that weekend, someone about five houses down said that they'd seen an orange cat and a gray cat in their backyard together the week before. Our neighbor immediately to our right said that she had seen Loki chasing Uno on our other immediate neighbor's driveway (to the left of us). They did everything together. Uno couldn't have peace and quiet if he wanted to.

So I find it difficult to believe that he would go far enough from Uno to have become the victim of a predator or unfriendly neighbor. It's possible that he could have been frightened by a dog barking and hid somewhere close by (at the beginning, at least), maybe under a shed or bush...or under a car...but I've already searched many of our neighbor's yards, and he's nowhere to be seen. I even think that had something happened to Loki in our immediate vicinity, Uno would have led us to him.

That morning, it was not freezing, but it was just cold enough that Loki might seek warmth in someone's car. Our neighbors to the immediate left of us have a pickup truck that sits out of their garage, and I remember that they had visitors that day. I hate that I didn't think to ask them back then. I asked a couple of weeks ago, and unsurprisingly (and understandably), the only thing our neighbor could say was that Loki was likely captured by a fox.

His disappearance just felt so sudden. During those first few weeks of his absence, if I breathed a little too hard, I'd think I could hear the faint sound of Loki's meows. I was able to convince myself that the sound of a leaf falling from a tree was him coming back home. Quite foolishly, I still believed - or at least hoped - that he would show up at our doorsteps one night. During those first few weeks, I was able to tell myself that he was just hiding, waiting for the right time to come home.

Now, it becomes apparent to me that, already from the very beginning, this was probably not the case. It just feels like he vanished, seemingly out of thin air. No one on our street has seen him. We've had a few sightings from the street directly parallel to ours (only separated by some trees/forest), but we quickly learned that there's a female gray tabby kitten who looks very similar to him who lives there.

Of course, I hope I'm wrong about him being transported. I hope he's much closer by than I think. Maybe he's wandering my street at night, but no one has been able to catch him on their cameras. But the trail camera in my backyard has only been able to catch an opossum, as well as a rabbit that I secretly hoped was Loki.

Despite saying all of this, I believe he's alive and out there somewhere. Maybe this is just me foolishly trying to convince myself that I still have a chance of seeing him. Even so, I think it's better than prematurely mourning his death and essentially deciding his fate for him by giving up too soon. Loki deserves more faith. He may be young, but he's always been strong-willed and mighty. Plus, a cat's will to survive is probably much stronger than I think. Still, I just really wonder how he's surviving on his own. People have told me that someone might have taken him in or been feeding him, and while I'd much rather believe that than think that he's having to fend for himself, it just doesn't seem that likely... If that did happen, though, the fact that he's not microchipped certainly doesn't help. I'm hoping that if he ever is brought to the vet, the fact that he's neutered (but not ear-tipped) will lead them to realize he's someone's dearly missed kitty and not just a random stray or feral cat.

Someone else about 6/7 miles away (not from the same apartment complex I mentioned, but in that same direction) says there's a gray tabby kitty who's been coming by her house for the past few weeks. He's gone into her house, raided the food bowls, played with her cats' toys and even hissed at them... He looks -- and acts, from what we've been told -- very similar to Loki and is probably even the same age as him, but there are little differences here and there that tell me that he's not really Loki, just someone else's gregarious and sociable outdoor-access kitty. Even so, I can't help think, maybe the orange around Loki's mouth has gotten more pronounced? Maybe he really did travel 7 miles along the trace? Maybe he's changed in the two months I haven't seen him? (Naturally, this type of reasoning is how we ended up adopting Clipper.) Against my better judgment, I can't help but hope it's him. But if it's not him, it's still very heartwarming to see that good people, such as the woman who texted us, exist -- she has three indoor cats of her own but also feeds the neighborhood cats in her backyard. I hope Loki has met such a person.

That's all I have to say for now! It's a waiting game. Maybe I will see him again. I just can't give up.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

It is, indeed, a waiting game. And there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with visualizing him, fat and sassy, curled up on some kind person's sofa, living like a little Prince. It eases our hearts, and it is quite often true.

 

[irrationallypie]

I hope he is! I know that if this kitty on Kimball Avenue ends up not being him, I'll feel sad and helpless for a little while...but there's no reason to think that Loki couldn't have found a similar life, with someone kind to feed him and care for him.

 

[irrationallypie]

We just checked the cat on Kimball Avenue. He's not Loki.

Realistically, I had known the chances of the kitty being Loki were slim -- with the little differences in appearance as well as the distance Kimball Avenue is from our home -- but my heart still feels heavy.

I know I should keep my hopes up, but it's just so difficult when the only thing I can feel is his absence. He wasn't just a cat. He was my cat. He was everything to me.

I hate coming home knowing he's not there waiting for me. I just want this to end. I just want him back. I just want to see him again.

My parents are handling this a lot better than I am. I know it's really only been two months, which is not so long in the grand scheme of things (but really quite long for a missing kitten, I'd think), but I feel like I'll never be able to move on. I feel like my heart will always have a Loki-shaped hole in it.

We don't have any new leads at this point. That's probably why I invested so much hope in the cat on Kimball Avenue. Maybe I should put up more posters.

But I can't give up. Maybe he really is in some kind person's home, being pampered and loved. It's just difficult to imagine sometimes.

 

[irrationallypie]

No news. 9 weeks in. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to stay positive, and it's just very easy to give in to feelings of grief and regret and guilt. Why didn't I do something sooner? What if I'd gotten a search dog the first week? Why didn't I ask the neighbors where they went that morning? Why didn't I ask if he was microchipped before he went missing? Why did I let him outdoors at all, at his age especially?

I looked at happy reunion stories to cheer myself up a few days ago, and they did make me more hopeful, but the more I read them, the more differences I saw in their stories and mine. An overwhelming majority of the found lost cats were indoor-only, which makes sense because indoor and outdoor cats go missing for different reasons. I saw stories of cats being reunited with their families five months later, a year later, and two years later, but once again, a very big difference: they were microchipped.

It's just so difficult not being there for him and not knowing what became of him. Was he transported across town? Or is he much closer by than I think? What happened to those other cats in my neighborhood who went missing and never came back? My worry is that the longer it gets, the more that could have happened to him. Maybe nothing bad happened to him the first day he went missing (other than going missing, of course), but 9 weeks have elapsed since then... 9 weeks is not the longest time a cat has been missing, but it's still a long time. He was only with us for four months...he's already been missing for half of the time we ever had him.

My heart always feels like it's being painfully squeezed or being doused in ice water. I don't know what to do. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like I failed him.

I'm not giving up on him. I want to believe he's still alive -- he's much better at surviving in the wild than I am! But a lot of the time, it feels hopeless. Of course, my biggest hope is to hold him in my arms again. But it's just so difficult to accept that that may never happen. What do I do then? How do I live? How do I cope?

I believe M MackerelTabbyStripes mentioned a pet loss support group back in November? Would it be possible for me to join, or is it a more local group? Thank you so much.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

My cat who went missing for eleven months was not microchipped. AND we moved 12 miles away during that time. HE STILL FOUND US. It can happen. It does happen, and I am praying that it will for you.

Now, stop beating yourself up over this, and if you had gotten a search dog, and he had picked up a trail, the chances are very large that your baby would have run like all the devils in hell were chasing him! As for the rest...we've all made choices with our cats that, looking back, we wish we had not made. You are human, and no human can take every possibility into account Give yourself a break, and use that energy for getting the new girl used to home, and the waiting, which will wear you out all by itself.

 

[fionasmom]

I had thought this earlier, but did not post, that I would have wanted a lot more information about using a search dog to find a cat. It is advertised, but while the dog might get to a specific area, my money is on the cat bolts once it sees the bloodhound approaching.

 

[irrationallypie]

Thank you both for your thoughtful and comforting responses! I'm sorry -- it seems like I'm always needing reassurance and circling back to the same problems and fears...Reading your messages always gives me some reassurance/groundedness that I have trouble finding myself. And Gray's story is absolutely remarkable and inspiring! It gives me hope every time I hear it. Cats are capable of some seemingly superhuman feats!

Yeah, I wish there was more information about search dogs. It's true that the cat would probably run if the dog got close enough to him, but I think the purpose is more so to figure out a direction of travel or narrow down the cat's location rather than catching him right then and there. I do know that there's a lost cat detective in Georgia who has a search cat, though!

We also got a potential sighting of a (limping) gray tabby cat about 1.5 miles away a couple of days ago. It'd be foolish to just assume that every gray tabby in town is Loki, but I'm allowing myself to feel hopeful about this one for now. It could, of course, be someone else's outdoor kitty who lives on that street, but I'm hoping on putting a humane trap out today to check just in case.

 

[The3bears]

I’m so sorry about your fur baby I don’t know if anyone has already said this but the numerous times my girl has gotten out I’ve taken her box with treats walking around shaking it and calling her name and she’s come back, or maybe follow your older baby and see where they go. I hope not but there’s always a chance he could be stuck somewhere. Anyway best of luck I hope there’s a happy ending

 

[Krienze]

Thank you both for your thoughtful and comforting responses! I'm sorry -- it seems like I'm always needing reassurance and circling back to the same problems and fears...Reading your messages always gives me some reassurance/groundedness that I have trouble finding myself. And Gray's story is absolutely remarkable and inspiring! It gives me hope every time I hear it. Cats are capable of some seemingly superhuman feats!

When I'm stressed, sad or upset that's me too. It's normal. You're human. Do NOT apologize for needing reassurance and comfort.

I just saw this thread. I really hope you find your baby. I've heard of cats coming back months and months later. It can happen!

 

[SweetLittleKitty]

Is the kitty fixed? Is is male or female? I believe they can actually get pregnant as early as four months of age! If she went in heat she could be off in search of a mate.

 

[MackerelTabbyStripes]

My heart always feels like it's being painfully squeezed or being doused in ice water. I don't know what to do. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like I failed him.

I'm not giving up on him. I want to believe he's still alive -- he's much better at surviving in the wild than I am! But a lot of the time, it feels hopeless. Of course, my biggest hope is to hold him in my arms again. But it's just so difficult to accept that that may never happen. What do I do then? How do I live? How do I cope?

I believe M MackerelTabbyStripes mentioned a pet loss support group back in November? Would it be possible for me to join, or is it a more local group? Thank you so much.

I'm so, so sorry that you have not have success finding Loki yet. I'm not sure if you're still reading here, but the pet loss group I joined was "The Ralph Site Pet Loss Support Group" on facebook. There is also a website, I believe, that has some articles that were helpful. I could only read the stories some of the time, it is really quite hard. Even now, with Luna back, I'm still affected emotionally by how it felt when she was missing and I was looking for her. I really cannot read or emotionally engage on those very frequently, it just brings up too many feelings, but one thing that was helpful was how unavoidable the guilt/blame seemed to be. No matter how a death happened, no matter what age, people would replay the pattern wondering if they could have done something different. For the smaller fraction who also had missing animals to deal with, no matter what early actions, they replayed the facts and wondered if something different would have worked. Please be kind to yourself.

I also did a lot of academic reading, trying to combine numbers / stats / research to try to get a better handle on what might happen to a cat lost outdoors long term. Some of the studies are linked in the footnotes for this page: Fast facts about feral cats and TNR | NFRC

None of the articles was directly addressing what I really wanted to know, but putting some numbers together and also including the research articles on lost pets (I've lost the website for that one) I basically came to the conclusion that an outdoor stray/feral in one year had over one third chance of being adopted and acquire a home, around one third chance of staying outside in same circumstances throughout the year, and under a third chance of some fatal accident or injury across the entire year -- these usually were quick, not protracted, and not from predators. Age mattered, younger cats were more likely to be adopted. Harder to get solid evidence, but stray cats seemed more likely to be adopted than cats with no positive experience of people. Both of those trends are in Loki's favor. It is not at all crazy to imagine that if Loki was transported out of your immediate area, he would have eventually figured out that territory, discovered the people nearby sympathetic to cats, and potentially found himself rescued. If it was somehow outside your notification area or if the person just somehow missed the posters, it would be hard for them to have put 2 and 2 together and identify his name and original home.

The week before I got Luna back, she visited at the window of someone in the neighborhood. He called me to report the sighting just a day or two before I trapped her back, and when I called him back to let him know the update, he continued musing about her and her behavior that night she showed up at his place. It really seemed to touch him! He really liked cats, but didn't have any of his own. He lived in a basement apartment and his window was somewhat shielded from bushes, etc. She was just STARING at the inside, and at him. In retrospect I really wonder if she had already firmly decided she wanted to live inside, first choice was getting back in with me, but was putting her brain cycles to work considering other alternatives of getting inside SOMEWHERE.

Cats are really remarkable survivors -- if you can imagine Loki happy and healthy somewhere please do that. It is also a reasonable thought founded on data and is not completely wishful thinking. But I know it still feels awful to not have him with you.

 

[jessteroni]

Just wanted to add that my friends cat escaped out a faulty door and took off into the woods. He was gone for 6 months before he just randomly showed back up at the house.

Don’t give up hope, but also keep thinking about how he’s probably living the life of luxury!