One Week Since Lifetime Cat Companion Died And Luna Sleeps All Day Under Blankets

[ara11]

I had posted previously under cat health about my precious Puma who was suddenly taken ill and after 2.5 months of care, died last Tuesday night a week ago. I and my other cat, Luna were heartbroken. Theyd been together for 12 years. She didn't want to look at the body but slept that night literally in my arms (she crawled into my curved arm and slept win the crook of elbow). She is eating but no longer comes to the door to greet me when I come home and mostly stays on the bed under the covers. It is heart breaking. She knew he was sick and hissed at him when he was at his worst. As he appeared to get a bit better she stopped that and sometimes sat with him in the window he stayed in.
She is part Siamese and very vocal calling to me when I'm not with her, otherwise she sleeps under the covers like I said. I am worried about mental health.
Please don't suggest another cat. We are in recovery (hopefully she is also) and she never cared for other cats. He was the kind one always wanting to press nose to a cat passerby. I spend a lot of time with her but am worried....

 

[Furballsmom]

She is eating

Whew.
Oh baby meezer you have my heart from the word go.
Granting that this will take time, and I'm wondering whether sleep might be as healing for a feline as for a human. However, due to the fact that she's also picking up on your stress, I'm wondering;
Have you tried any calming treats? There are a number of products on the market with different types of ingredients, from one called Composure to the better known Feliway but lots of others. Vetri Science, Pet Naturals are a couple of companies in this market. Lambert Vet Supply is a website to look into along with Only Natural Pet, and the more popular ones.
By the way, off the subject, (sort of but not really), I wanted to comment that you're a very classy person.

 

[rubysmama]

I'm so sorry about your Puma. Condolences to you and Luna. RIP sweetie.

I'm sure Luna is mourning the loss of her companion, and probably also picking up the fact that you too are heartbroken.

TCS has an article Do Cats Mourn? that may be helpful.

Plus a few on stress:
Potential Stressors In Cats - The Ultimate Checklist
Is Your Cat Stressed Out?
You, Your Cat And Stress

Hugs to you both.

 

[epona]

Siamese/Oriental, tend to bond very strongly with humans and other companions, and yes of course they feel it when a companion is no longer there - change in routine, and lack of their companion to curl up next to.

As long as she is eating and drinking and going to the toilet appropriately, I'd give her a little time to grieve. You can't expect her to be happy with the loss of a companion. If she stops eating and drinking, take her to the vet asap. If she carries on eating and drinking she will come out of it, just support her - sounds like you both need the cuddling, and it is good that she wants to cuddle.

If she still seems depressed in a couple of weeks (or stops eating/drinking in the meantime), phone your vet and ask for advice. I agree, I don't think a kitten is necessarily the answer, she needs some time and some tlc.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Cats mourn, just as humans do, and it is going to take some time before sweet Luna is herself again. Calming treats may, indeed, help, and you may find that a cup of chamomile tea relaxes you, which will help her.

 

[ara11]

Whew.
Oh baby meezer you have my heart from the word go.
Granting that this will take time, and I'm wondering whether sleep might be as healing for a feline as for a human. However, due to the fact that she's also picking up on your stress, I'm wondering;
Have you tried any calming treats? There are a number of products on the market with different types of ingredients, from one called Composure to the better known Feliway but lots of others. Vetri Science, Pet Naturals are a couple of companies in this market. Lambert Vet Supply is a website to look into along with Only Natural Pet, and the more popular ones.
By the way, off the subject, (sort of but not really), I wanted to comment that you're a very classy person.

Thanks Furballsmom, I didn't know about calming products. I try hard to be cheerful and smile around her but ofcourse she may be more intuitive than I give her credit. Sometimes too I'm picking up on her stress and absorbing it so it goes both ways!

 

[ara11]

Siamese/Oriental, tend to bond very strongly with humans and other companions, and yes of course they feel it when a companion is no longer there - change in routine, and lack of their companion to curl up next to.

As long as she is eating and drinking and going to the toilet appropriately, I'd give her a little time to grieve. You can't expect her to be happy with the loss of a companion. If she stops eating and drinking, take her to the vet asap. If she carries on eating and drinking she will come out of it, just support her - sounds like you both need the cuddling, and it is good that she wants to cuddle.

If she still seems depressed in a couple of weeks (or stops eating/drinking in the meantime), phone your vet and ask for advice. I agree, I don't think a kitten is necessarily the answer, she needs some time and some tlc.

She and I are close since I had her since she was 4 weeks old. What you say makes sense and I am so glad she eats and drinks. The whole experience is rough seeing a little cat so confused and sad who doesn't deserve this but what cat deserves any misery?

 

[ara11]

I'm so sorry about your Puma. Condolences to you and Luna. RIP sweetie.

I'm sure Luna is mourning the loss of her companion, and probably also picking up the fact that you too are heartbroken.

TCS has an article Do Cats Mourn? that may be helpful.

Plus a few on stress:
Potential Stressors In Cats - The Ultimate Checklist
Is Your Cat Stressed Out?
You, Your Cat And Stress

Hugs to you both.

Thank you. Basically she doesn't go where he has gone during his weeks of sickness. Ive had the house cleaned but I know scents linger. This means, the cat window box is not used and was a place she loved before he got sick. Time will help hopefully and I'll watch my behaviors too.

 

[Timmer]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is.
I lost Timmer two months ago and while he did not get along with Lupita and I had to keep them separated at all times -- this went on for 8 years -- I know she misses him too. The first couple of weeks she didn't come downstairs much at all. She did eat and drink and all those normal things but her behavior was off. When there is a loss, the entire household has to adjust. It will take time but I believe Luna will come back on track. You may want to encourage her out of the bed with treats. That's what I did with Lupita who only wanted to stay upstairs. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and shook the treat bag and she came running. Maybe try to make it worth Luna's while to get out of bed. Groom or brush her, give her some favorite foods, play with her or at least try to. And if she doesn't want to come out, then let her be. Just give her hugs and kisses. It will take time.

 

[ara11]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is.
I lost Timmer two months ago and while he did not get along with Lupita and I had to keep them separated at all times -- this went on for 8 years -- I know she misses him too. The first couple of weeks she didn't come downstairs much at all. She did eat and drink and all those normal things but her behavior was off. When there is a loss, the entire household has to adjust. It will take time but I believe Luna will come back on track. You may want to encourage her out of the bed with treats. That's what I did with Lupita who only wanted to stay upstairs. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and shook the treat bag and she came running. Maybe try to make it worth Luna's while to get out of bed. Groom or brush her, give her some favorite foods, play with her or at least try to. And if she doesn't want to come out, then let her be. Just give her hugs and kisses. It will take time.

weeks? wow, oh no.
She gets love and treats. It will take time but oh how painful to see your innocent cat know grief, you know? She was just now sniffing sniffing in the closet where he stayed for awhile before going to the window. She spent 5 minutes with her nose to the floor of the closet and now sits facing it, staring. I look at his grave and get sad; she looks at places hes been and gets...confused or wondering, or sad

 

[Timmer]

When we lose a beloved family member, we all have to adjust and grieve. It takes a long time. There's no formula for it and it can be a painful process. I'm sure Luna wonders where her buddy is. Even though Lupita and Timmer did not get along, the other night she went to the basement stairs and meowed very loudly down into the basement. It was funny, sweet, and sad. She still hides sometimes, because of the trauma she endured with him of and on over the years.
I'm having a very difficult time dealing with the grief myself and often can't offer her anything, particularly since she is not a cat who likes to be held or cuddled, so basically, I'm alone in this.
Yeah, it just takes some time. Like I said, she's going to have a new normal, as are all of you.

 

[danteshuman]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think cats are smarter than we give them credit for. She knows her buddy is dead. If nothing else she would smell it. I would try stuff to help you both de-stress & give yourself permission to grieve. If you were artistic I would suggest painting a portrait of your cat. Maybe choose a favorite photo & iron it on to a throw pillow cover?

 

[DreamerRose]

I am so sorry too. It's heartbreaking to lose afrien and then have to watch HERfriend grieve, too. But I agree with everyone. Give yourself and Luna time to grieve.

In another thread, someone said she talked to her surviving pet about her grief and how much she would miss the lost one, and it seemed to help the survivor. Sympathy and understanding always help.

 

[Timmer]

And keep in mind that their smell is still in the house even though they are not. Cats have such sensitive noses. They probably wonder where they are because they still smell them.

 

[ara11]

I am so sorry too. It's heartbreaking to lose afrien and then have to watch HERfriend grieve, too. But I agree with everyone. Give yourself and Luna time to grieve.

In another thread, someone said she talked to her surviving pet about her grief and how much she would miss the lost one, and it seemed to help the survivor. Sympathy and understanding always help.

Once by mistake I called out his name and freaked us both out. He was such a wonderful creature, gone too soon.

 

[ara11]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think cats are smarter than we give them credit for. She knows her buddy is dead. If nothing else she would smell it. I would try stuff to help you both de-stress & give yourself permission to grieve. If you were artistic I would suggest painting a portrait of your cat. Maybe choose a favorite photo & iron it on to a throw pillow cover?

I have a large painting of a black cat and vintage sign of Black Cat so any more might border on ......

 

[catlover73]

Years ago a friend's cat lost his companion. She had two young adult cats that were bonded and one died in his sleep. The other cat was walking around looking for his buddy and meowing loudly. Neo saw Ripley's body and knew he had died. My friend tried extra playtime and extra cuddle time but it did not seem to help. She had to go out of town for work and was really worried. Neo was not fully bonded with me yet but I told her I would go over and spend time with him. I was off work the day she had to leave. When I walked in Neo ran up to me and started crying immediately but would not let me pet him. I laid down on the couch and just talked to him. I told him I was sorry Ripley was gone but I was here to hang out with him. I explained to him that I missed Ripley too and he was not coming back. He walked around crying for about an hour with me just talking to him. He finally stopped crying and climbed on the couch with me. I petted him for a while and he fell asleep on me. I spent four hours laying on the couch watching tv for my friend's cat. When he did wake up I did a play session and then brushed him. I spent a couple of hours brushing him and he went back to acting like a normal happy cat. I had to leave after that cause I had a repair guy coming to my place. When I went back later he was no longer meowing for his buddy anymore. Neo loved to be brushed and I was able to use that to form a bond with him. Before Ripley passed away Neo would only cuddle with me in his presence. My friend was gone for a week and when she came back she was very happy to see that Neo was happy again. She also started brushing him more since I had noticed that helped settle him down. Neo began sleeping on the bed with his human when she came back. I sat for him regularly and he had stopped looking for his buddy. She did decide to get Neo a buddy and took time off work to do the introductions. Neo bonded with his new companion quickly. Oddly enough it took months for his new companion Biscuit to bond to me. We realized she was more comfortable around men outside of her human. My hubby would go visit Biscuit when I was cat sitting. If you have not tried explaining things to Luna about her companion being gone then I would suggest trying it. After my experience with Neo I have done this with my own cats when one of their buddies passed away and for some reason it really helps them. Perhaps you could try laying down and talking to Luna while she is under the blankets.

 

[di and bob]

My heart aches for you and Luna. The pain of losing a family member is excruciating and at times all consuming. My heart always breaks when I see my mama cats looking for their babies when they find another home, they get depressed and search constantly. This lasts for about two weeks. Then things start to get a little better as they adjust to a new routine and life order. Your Luna is hurting just as you are. She doesn't understand what happened and why things can't be the same.Time is the only thing that helps, time and your attention and help. It helps to have someone there to talk to and to understand your pain. Take comfort in each other, hold each other tight and and try to talk about and reminisce about the good things Puma brought into your life. Just as someone else said "don't let the death be more important than the life". Puma didn't leave because eh wanted to, he lefty because he had to. Neither one of you would have wanted him to suffer, because you loved him enough to let him go. He loves you enough to want you to go forward into the future and find happiness and the joy of living. Not hoard the grief in your heart and allow it to take over your capacity to love and be happy. Time is the only thing that helps with grief. For some it is months, for some it is years. But one thing is for sure, you will never forget that sweet boy, and what he brought into your life is a precious treasure. Give that sweet girl a kiss for me, and tell her she is loved, and that one day you will smile at his memory because he brought you so much joy, not cry because he brought you so much pain. You both need that right now. Take care.....RIP beautiful Puma, may the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[ara11]

My heart aches for you and Luna. The pain of losing a family member is excruciating and at times all consuming. My heart always breaks when I see my mama cats looking for their babies when they find another home, they get depressed and search constantly. This lasts for about two weeks. Then things start to get a little better as they adjust to a new routine and life order. Your Luna is hurting just as you are. She doesn't understand what happened and why things can't be the same.Time is the only thing that helps, time and your attention and help. It helps to have someone there to talk to and to understand your pain. Take comfort in each other, hold each other tight and and try to talk about and reminisce about the good things Puma brought into your life. Just as someone else said "don't let the death be more important than the life". Puma didn't leave because eh wanted to, he lefty because he had to. Neither one of you would have wanted him to suffer, because you loved him enough to let him go. He loves you enough to want you to go forward into the future and find happiness and the joy of living. Not hoard the grief in your heart and allow it to take over your capacity to love and be happy. Time is the only thing that helps with grief. For some it is months, for some it is years. But one thing is for sure, you will never forget that sweet boy, and what he brought into your life is a precious treasure. Give that sweet girl a kiss for me, and tell her she is loved, and that one day you will smile at his memory because he brought you so much joy, not cry because he brought you so much pain. You both need that right now. Take care.....RIP beautiful Puma, may the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

That is so lovely. Everyone who has responded has been lovely

 

[ara11]

I guess you do everything you can to give them a beautiful peaceful life and pain somehow finds a way to creep in.
She has ventured out to screened in porch the last 2 days but stares out to exact spot he is buried. Do you think that's just coincidence? I love her so. It pains me to look at his unmarked grave. Could she be similar?