- Joined
- Jul 30, 2020
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I have two cats that are both a little under two years old. They aren't siblings but I adopted both as singleton kittens when they were both about 12 weeks old. Introducing them together took a little while since Peanut had some health problems when I first adopted him, and he really has a big personality but now they're generally good buddies that cuddle and play together.
Peanut (neutered male) is easily overwhelmed by pretty much any change in routine (if my laundry is all over the floor because I'm folding it, if I get a new table, if I give them breakfast late, etc) and reacts very noticeably. Unlike other cats I've met, he doesn't hide or anything, he just gets destructive or becomes kind of a bully. If there's any cardboard or paper within reach he will tear it apart, he'll sometimes lunge at me, and also he will pin down Butter (spayed female) and suckle on her back leg? She definitely doesn't appreciate this and will hiss at him and make very distressed sounds but he's bigger and a lot faster so she can't get away.
I think it must be a way for him to comfort himself, but I don't want him to bully Butter. He also suckles on my hands whenever I'm petting him or if I'm sitting down when he gets overwhelmed and plops down in my lap and does his best to get access to my fingers (I do try to remove my hand when he starts doing this, but it's pretty much the only time I hear him purring so I do feel bad stopping him and usually when I get my fingers out of the way he just leaves to pin Butter down anyway), and if Peanut and Butter are cuddling and Butter starts to groom him he always goes right into suckling which makes her leave. I think the worst part is that he is very teeth forward, and really clamps down. I've seen Butter try to jump off the cat tower but he's biting down on her hard enough that she's pretty much hanging from his mouth as they both tumble out, I have checked and I don't think he has ever broken her skin or caused any injuring but I do get worried that she could get hurt from that kind of thing.
For a while I thought they just needed to work out their boundaries so I didn't intervene, but I have started removing Peanut from the room if he doesn't leave her alone after she hisses at him. I usually put him in the bathroom for 10-15min which is usually enough time for him to calm down and curl up, but he still does this all the time.
I have started setting up puzzle toys multiple times a day, because he is really good at them and it seems to keep him distracted and less overwhelmed with existence, but I've noticed that Butter will get skittish and start hiding whenever he starts to get stressed out so I'd really like to figure out a way to better discourage this behavior. He has started plopping himself down in my lap when he's stressed and I'm nearby and even if I don't let him suckle he does start to calm down and go to sleep, but I'm not always home during the day + a lot of the things that set him off are when I'm moving around doing things.
Most of the things I've read about cats that continue to suckle after being weaned is that they grow out of it, and if not it's probably harmless. But, Peanut is so mouth first it seems like the main way he interacts (if he's being affectionate he bites down and starts suckling, if he's stressed he bites down and starts suckling). He had a lot of bladder issues when I first adopted him, so my theory is that he was weaned too early, got really dehydrated and sick, and that's when someone brought the sick stray kitten into the shelter but he has a lot of baggage from when he was really little.
If anyone has advice about how to discourage this kind of behavior, or how to make him feel more less insecure when things happen, or has good ideas about how to distract an anxious cat I'd definitely appreciate it! They're both such sweet kitties and I don't mind that Peanut has so many quirks, but the fact that he's acting out in ways that make Butter (who is normally a very affectionate and friendly cat) nervous enough to start hiding is a problem.
Peanut (neutered male) is easily overwhelmed by pretty much any change in routine (if my laundry is all over the floor because I'm folding it, if I get a new table, if I give them breakfast late, etc) and reacts very noticeably. Unlike other cats I've met, he doesn't hide or anything, he just gets destructive or becomes kind of a bully. If there's any cardboard or paper within reach he will tear it apart, he'll sometimes lunge at me, and also he will pin down Butter (spayed female) and suckle on her back leg? She definitely doesn't appreciate this and will hiss at him and make very distressed sounds but he's bigger and a lot faster so she can't get away.
I think it must be a way for him to comfort himself, but I don't want him to bully Butter. He also suckles on my hands whenever I'm petting him or if I'm sitting down when he gets overwhelmed and plops down in my lap and does his best to get access to my fingers (I do try to remove my hand when he starts doing this, but it's pretty much the only time I hear him purring so I do feel bad stopping him and usually when I get my fingers out of the way he just leaves to pin Butter down anyway), and if Peanut and Butter are cuddling and Butter starts to groom him he always goes right into suckling which makes her leave. I think the worst part is that he is very teeth forward, and really clamps down. I've seen Butter try to jump off the cat tower but he's biting down on her hard enough that she's pretty much hanging from his mouth as they both tumble out, I have checked and I don't think he has ever broken her skin or caused any injuring but I do get worried that she could get hurt from that kind of thing.
For a while I thought they just needed to work out their boundaries so I didn't intervene, but I have started removing Peanut from the room if he doesn't leave her alone after she hisses at him. I usually put him in the bathroom for 10-15min which is usually enough time for him to calm down and curl up, but he still does this all the time.
I have started setting up puzzle toys multiple times a day, because he is really good at them and it seems to keep him distracted and less overwhelmed with existence, but I've noticed that Butter will get skittish and start hiding whenever he starts to get stressed out so I'd really like to figure out a way to better discourage this behavior. He has started plopping himself down in my lap when he's stressed and I'm nearby and even if I don't let him suckle he does start to calm down and go to sleep, but I'm not always home during the day + a lot of the things that set him off are when I'm moving around doing things.
Most of the things I've read about cats that continue to suckle after being weaned is that they grow out of it, and if not it's probably harmless. But, Peanut is so mouth first it seems like the main way he interacts (if he's being affectionate he bites down and starts suckling, if he's stressed he bites down and starts suckling). He had a lot of bladder issues when I first adopted him, so my theory is that he was weaned too early, got really dehydrated and sick, and that's when someone brought the sick stray kitten into the shelter but he has a lot of baggage from when he was really little.
If anyone has advice about how to discourage this kind of behavior, or how to make him feel more less insecure when things happen, or has good ideas about how to distract an anxious cat I'd definitely appreciate it! They're both such sweet kitties and I don't mind that Peanut has so many quirks, but the fact that he's acting out in ways that make Butter (who is normally a very affectionate and friendly cat) nervous enough to start hiding is a problem.
