Older male cat grooming female kitten

[retrored]

Hi everyone,

I don't know if this is a worrying or positive sight or not because I've never owned more than one cat at once before.

Lately my 4 year old desexed male has taken to grooming our female (not desexed- too young yet) 13 week year old kitten.At first it was nerve wracking for me to watch and then I came to see it as sweet. I was just watching the pair then and Willie would gently bite her scruff and then lick her ears and top of her head. She seemed content enough, purring and lying still. Willie sometimes got her in a headlock with his feet. This went on for some time, scruff biting and licking her. Eventually though he clamped on for some time and didn't let her go. I eventually unprised the two but she didn't seem concerned.
I feel like this could be a few things. I'd like it to be positive bonding but it seems a bit more of a control/power situation. I also wonder whether it is a pseudo sexual thing for my boy cat, despite his de sexing. If it is, should I be worried? I don't know.
Any thoughts would be great.
Cheers.

 

[p3 and the king]

It is a sexual thing but it can't go anywhere since he is de sexed.  How long has he been neutered?  But just because they are neutered, doesn't mean they lose the urge.  It's also a dominance thing but more sexual at this point.  He knows she's a girl... An unaltered girl.  I wouldn't worry too much.  I am sure it can be "uncomfortable" but it's normal.  Just be sure to have her spayed when she is ready... It is possible she could be going into early heat.  Unlikely but possible. 

 

[retrored]

Thanks for your prompt reply We pretty much got him desexed as soon as we adopted him, back in 2012. I had a feeling it was a sexual action but wasn't expecting it so much, but like you said, the urge is still there.
I'm going to get Patti desexed in a few weeks time. She does not seem phased by his behaviour, she just wants to play.

 

[anothercatguy]

We have a fixed male and a fixed female - the male is about a year older than the female - and he does this exact behavior to her.   I've always taken it as a dominant behavior. 

Our female cat doesn't mind (usually) and sometimes even purrs while he cleans her neck, ears, and head.  I read that this mutual grooming is very common in cats, too.  Or maybe we are just lucky that our cats "get along."    Sometimes she appears not to be in the mood and will start rough-housing with him until one or the other has had enough but it never turns into a problem.