Older kitten picking on elderly cat

[beth0612]

I have three cats: two 8.5 month old kittens, boy and girl, that I adopted at 10 weeks and an elderly 18-year-old-girl cat. The 18-year-old has never been crazy about the kittens, although the boy kitten has wanted to befriend her from his early days with us but she just hisses at him. I'm afraid the old cat is nearing the end of her time here—she has a host of medical problems and is losing weight steadily and now looks frail, although she can still jump on my bed with no problem. In the past week or so, I have noticed the boy kitten pouncing on the older cat, which she HATES. He outweighs her by several pounds now, so I'm a little concerned that he'll hurt her but I'm more concerned that it's terrorizing her. It's not constant, but I've witnessed it several times in the last few days, so who knows what happens when I'm not around. I keep them separated a good bit already so the kittens won't eat old kitty's food, but I try to provide open "mixing" time so that the old cat doesn't feel like she's in prison.

My question: is little boy just being a rambunctious kitten who doesn't know his own strength or is this nature's way of weeding out the weak? Is he trying to play or to dominate her? Since I'm sensing she's at the end of her life, I'm wondering if the boy kitten is too? I would love to think he would revere his elder, but I know that's not the way it works in nature. 

 

[cat nap]

Hi @beth0612, that is an interesting question you pose. If they were wild cats, then I'd tend to think more in terms of nature, dominance and survival, but because of all the years of domestication, constant availability of food, and socialization, then I'd think that your 8.5 month boy kitten is doing more...playing and perhaps trying to dominate in play.

He would also be trying to dominate his sister kitten, though, so I'm more inclined to think that he's being overly playful, rough-housing, and not really knowing that your cat is elderly and 18 years old.

I don't know if all cats have the ability to sense when other cats are ill, Especially kittens or young cats.I think that comes with age and learning different smells and scents, observations, experience, etc.

What I think you should do, though, is always step-in and take charge...whenever you see this type of overly playful-behaviour, or any type of behaviour which your elderly cat is not pleased with.

The problem is that your boy kitten is not backing down, or walking away, when your elderly cat is clearly giving him signals to avoid her.

The only way he will learn...is if you step in, separate him from her, with a towel if you need to, give him a stern "no", "not good" ....and give him a time-out....away from her.

(It's like a penalty time-out in hockey for unnecessary roughness.) It does not have to be too long, but you have to show your male kitten that you will not allow him pouncing on, or acting rough with your elderly cat. Your elderly cat was there first, so it is her territory, and he has to learn that your rules will always be in play, wherever your senior cat is concerned.

Not to mention, that he will also be learning how to react, behave, and calm down, whenever he gets too rough.

Distracting him with toys that you can both play with, later, is also a good thing, to wear out any excess energy that he might have. (It is not that you are punishing him, in any way, but rather teaching him manners...by being top-cat, yourself.)

Since your elderly cat can still jump, which is great at 18 years...then you can also create 'safe spaces' for her to jump up to, or walk up to...with steps if needed....and keep those places 'off-limits' to the kittens.

This way she has safe spots to sleep in, and will not be terrorized or bothered by crazy kitten shenanigans/play.

She will also appreciate being with you all, so if you can create spaces in the various rooms that you are all in, that will help.

Let your elderly cat decide where she wants to be, sleep and rest, and don't let the kittens dictate or scare her off.

Also, watch how the kittens act, when your elderly cat needs to use her litterbox...there should be no ambushing, or bothering her...whatsoever...so perhaps extra boxes may be helpful.

I know this sounds like a lot of refereeing and watching the kittens in the early months and years of their life, but it will pay off, since you will have calmer cats, cats who know they cannot be aggressive, and establish house rules to make it easier on everyone. In the beginning it feels tiresome, but when you start seeing even small results...it is all worth it.

Good luck.

 

 

 

[beth0612]

Thanks so much for the reply, @cat nap! There have been some very interesting times around here lately. The elderly cat has taken to wetting on my bed with distressing regularity, which I know is behavioral and is expressing anger. This cat has always been fearful and full of anxiety (I adopted her when she was about two and she's always been skittish) and, while she's wet on my bed in the past, this is the first time it's been so consistent. I know she's reacting to the group dynamics so I can't get mad at her, but it really does stink having to wash my bedding about every day this past week. I had a beloved 21 year old cat who died in November—he was the benevolent alpha and the 18-year-old was always completely submissive and they had a happy companionship. I feel tremendously guilty that the 18-year-old has gone from losing her longtime companion and her quiet life to being overrun by these energetic kittens. She's quick to give up her space when the kittens encroach, but I need to do a better job of policing. I set her up with a laundry basket with a fluffy blanket in it that's on my dining room table, and she seems to enjoy being in the "middle" of things from her protected space there. 

I am emboldened by your suggestions and will redouble my efforts at training the kittens away from their elderly big sister. Thank you for the suggestions!

 

[cat nap]

Sure, no problem @beth0612. I hope some of the suggestions help.

I am sorry for your loss of your 21 year old cat. I did want to say, though, that whatever you are doing, in being a cat guardian is miles ahead of me, because both your elderly cats have reached beyond 18 years. I wish I knew your secrets for cat care. Be it what you are feeding or good cat genetics, it is still amazing to have cats reach well into their geriatric years.

I also wanted to say that you have nothing to feel guilty about. (I did feel slightly the same way last summer, when some kittens were found outdoors in the backyard, without their mom, and so I introduced them to my rainbow cat of 15.5 years, knowing that he was not too fond of them initially, and he did already have CKD, so the kittens may have stressed him more. They ended up getting along, or at least tolerating each other, sleeping near each other, but not side by side, before he passed away in november. I think some of the kittens looked up to him, and learned from him, while one of them, was slightly bullying him initially, so I had to referee them.)

My whole point is that we make all kinds of decisions in life, for our cats. So just try to deal with what's in front of you, right now.

Try to enjoy the kitten and elderly cat moments. They are all part of our lives.

 

I would advise taking your elderly cat in to your Vet, just to rule out any medical issues, that may cause incontinence or stress incontinence, UTI's, infections, bladder problems.

It is better to rule out medical, before thinking behavioural.

Also, because you said it was consistent, and so medical issues should be ruled out.

Sometimes cats wet the bed, or favourite items to mark their territory, but I would think she would not be doing this constantly, unless she had no access to her litterbox, and the kittens kept her on the bed the whole time.

Can you place a litterbox or two, in your bedroom, to make it easier for her.

Can you also get those 'bedding incontinence sheets' that they use for elderly people, so that your bedding will not have to be wet so much.

They might sell them at regular stores, hospital supply stores or online.

https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers...otectors/zgbs/hpc/3763281&tag=&tag=thecatsite

https://www.walmart.com/browse/heal...nv439138-moduleB082814-lLinkBedSeatProtectors

Some are disposable, some are washable, but they are supposed to protect your bedding.

I'm glad that your cat likes her 'laundry basket' on the dining room table. 

That is a very good idea. Keeping her 'in charge', confident, and protected, is a really good thing.

I'm pretty sure that you will do well with your fur gang. Just remember, even small improvements are worth it.