Ok..so I rescued this momma and kittens..and now..need advice

[katluver4life]

Hi all, new here. Ok so my story is this..I have had cats all my life and last year my apartment building went pet friendly. I adopted 2 kittens from my local spca, brother and sis, and have had them now a bit over a year. They are both "fixed" and very close to each other. Rarely is one in a room without the other.

So..my friend one day notices a cat on the property of his place of business. He thinks he recognizes it as the cat he thought to once live with the people renting an apartment above his shop. A second time..he sees it again, he tries to get a closer look..it runs..he pulls out cat treats (he keeps treats on him all the time lol), tosses some at the cat..it comes out to gobble them up...and low and behold, yes it is the same cat and what do you know...3 little kittens come out from behind her...also after the treats. Seems the former tenants left a little something behind!

Ok so ...online we go looking for rescue groups to help us...no one had room..spca here is not a no-kill, and we did NOT want her put down. Weeks went by, we're feeding and caring for them on the property, cold weather is approaching! Idea! I have a spare room, I take them all in. Momma got spayed. Kittens were about 7 weeks by this time. Got a dog crate for them. And all are now warm and happy with me. Kittens at about 12 weeks were neutered, given their first shots, tested for fiv/felv..all neg..and now have been adopted out, all to very nice family's.

Here's my problem. I had momma and kittens in my spare room. Trying to slowly introduce momma to my 2 resident cats. Has not been going well. Did the exchanging of scent..feeding at the door..cracking door to allow them to see each other, I put my 2 in MY room and allowed momma out to explore rest of apartment, then put her back and let mine out. All actually seemed to go ok..till the escape. Momma jumped the baby gate behind my back while I was trying to keep her kittens from climbing it one night...She went right after my female and cornered her in the living room..meanwhile..my male was like...ok..this is not a problem and was pretty cool with her being out. He even sniffed her while she was having the face off with my female. That took mommas attention off the female long enough for her to slink away. Now momma is putting her full attention on my male who really could care less at this point. Till he walked right by momma to get to the kitchen. As soon as his back was to her, she attacked. Ok so now he's pissed. Hissing and growling at me and her. But no further fighting, he put distance between them and I managed to get both my cats into my room and eventually got momma back into hers. Kittens were still with us at that time. Forgot to mention that I think.

Ok, so I'm thinking, well momma is/was still in being protective of her kittens right? Kittens are now gone, she is still in the same room, and I'm back to doing the slow intro's all over again. But momma is now lonely and probably missing the littles ones right? So I was thinking of moving her into MY room, get her away from the room where she was in such a protective state. Problem I'm having about doing that is my cars LOVE being with me when I'm in my room and I'm not sure it's really a great idea, but if it helps momma adjust, should I do it? Or just give her more time while still in the spare room?

 

[yayi]

I think all of your cats should learn to get along first no matter where they are in your home. Once this is done, momma cat can stay with the other two in your room. 

 

[StefanZ]

Yes, I agree, momma being protective added to the difficulties. When did she get spayed?  Ie when had the hormones began to leave her?

Introducing when a protective mom when kittens are there was a mistake.  Introducting is OK if everyone apparently wants to be friends. Or if you are forced by any reason.

But otherwise, the standard advice is to leave the mom and her kittens alone.  Any meeting must be in the moms pace.     (althugh letting the half grown kittens meet other friendly cats may be a good idea).

Ok, but done is done.

I agree with you a renewed round of introducing is in order.  

Interesting idea to let her be in your bedroom, to make a new start easier.  And as your residents also love the bedroom, they will be more eager to be pals with her...   But I dunno, let the though mature.

Do you know about the Feliway?  If not google, or seek here on this our Forums. A  Feliway adapter, or spraying Feliway in their meeting room, could help matters much.

Welcome to our Forums!

Good luck!

 

[katluver4life]

Yes I have felieay diffusers about the house and in the cat room. Momma was actually spayed when the kittens were 8 weeks old by the one rescue group willing to give us a hand. They are the ones who gave me the crate to put the kittens in so they could be socialized easier, since they were basicly feral.

Momma returned spayed and totally rejected the kittens at first for about 2 weeks, then suddenly she welcomed them back. Even allowed them to suckle.

Let me expand on the initial reason for separating mom and kittens. Well first off, she attacked me when I attempted to handle one while still outside where we found them, second was, we were told by "cat people" who had seen pictures of the kittens, that they had ringworm, due to some hair loss on their tail tips and paws. We were given meds to deal with that, but apparently the med momma would be on would have been too strong and would pass to the kittens through nursing. Hence separating them when all arrived at my house. Once I got a good look at the kittens for myself I had my doubts about the ringworm idea. Anyway a vet confirmed they did not have ringworm. All turned out for the best anyway since mom was rejecting them at that time anyway and I still had to socialize them. They turned out to be great little ones and now all have great homes.

Back to momma. Calie. I watched her as she was again pawing under the door. I saw something different now. She seems more to be attempting to play and not being aggressive. I pet her as she was doing it and she was purring the whole time! Kittens have only been gone, last left this past Sat. so really it's just been a few days. I took a large towel my male sleeps on and put it in her room near the door, took one she slept on and put it outside the door on my cats side. None of them seem to show any aversion to either towel, but my male still hisses and swats at Cali's paws if she puts them under the door, and they (my cats) take off and hide now when I open that door to go in or come out. Though I do find my female hanging around that door all the time.

When she got out that one time, neither of my cats wanted to attack her, it was she who was the aggressor. Will my cats eventually forget that incident?

And thanks to all for the welcome and input.
 

 

[katluver4life]

btw, have posted pics of the whole gang for anyone interested. Alot of the foster kittens when we first found them.

 

[katluver4life]

Ok so now momma and my female are swatting each other under the door. No growling, no hissing. Is this a good sign? It gets pretty noisy cause momma really goes at it, like she's trying to really get out under the door. I have started feeding them on each side close to the door. Was told this make them feel that good things are on each side. Very new to this.
 

 

[melalpha]

I don't think there's anything you can do, but separate and supervise. Cats do everything on their own time.

Callie and your cats will learn to tolerate each other at least, if they don't become friends. Could take months, so don't despair. They almost always adjust, the swatting is a hopeful sign.

 

[callista]

The kittens just left? So she either hasn't been spayed yet, or it happened very recently?

I think it's probably a blessing in disguise that they are taking so long to get used to each other, then. She'll be sore after her spay, and you don't want her panicking and running away from your resident cats, or possibly even getting into a fight, while she's still healing. It'll be a good thing to keep them separated until she's healed and the hormones have gone down to normal.

 

[Willowy]

It sounds like she's been spayed for at least 5-6 weeks. Long enough to be healed, I think.

Introducing cats is hard. They're not generally inclined to like other cats. Just follow the tips in the introducing cats article and I think they'll all get used to each other eventually .

 

[katluver4life]

Momma was spayed almost 8 weeks ago now. She was kept in same room as the kittens, though they were in a crate while she recouped and so I could get them used to being handled ect. They were about 8 weeks at the time. They were adopted out after they were neutered at 12 weeks, all were males. They were adopted over a 3 week period, last leaving a week ago.

 

[callista]

Ah! My bad. I didn't realize it had been a while.

 

[melalpha]

I just introduced a kitten to the house, and bought new toys... they had both been hissing at each other, but they shared the bigger toys. One would swat at the spring toy, while the other swatted at the ball in the tunnel.

Might want to try that?

 

[katluver4life]

Thanks for the suggestion. Yea, I'll give that a go when I feel she can come out without fur flying lol. Thanks!
 

 

[katluver4life]

Hi all, it's been awhile now since I first posted this. Alas things have not improved. Cats still need to be in separate rooms, as Cali, the ex momma, still goes after Boots and Baby every chance she gets. It now seems rehoming her may be my only option with her. Makes me very sad to think that, as she is very attached to me and really is a sweet cat in every other way. Just doesn't want my other 2 cats around at all. My 2 are now terrified of her and hide if they even suspect she may be coming out of her room. I have tried everything, feliway, cat nip, scent swaps, feeding and treats at the closed door that separates them. Nothing seems to be working or changing. As soon as Cali gets her sights on either of them, after them she goes. I let her roam around the apt while I keep my 2 in my room, she walks around very confident, like it's HER place now and she wants no other cat there. She has used their litter box, eaten from their plates and otherwise seems unaffected by their scents. I'm at a loss as to what to keep attempting. It's kinda funny cause she is younger and smaller then the other 2. Any other suggestions would be welcome as rehoming her is really not what I'd want to do. BTW it has been since Oct since intro's started.
 

 

[orientalslave]

Sometimes rehoming one of our cats is the very best thing we can do for them, and this might be one of those times.  If she is good and outgoing with people she will make someone a lovely pet, though she must go as an only cat.  Sorry it's turning out this way, but very well done for thinking about doing something very very difficult.

 

[katluver4life]

She is so young that I keep hoping we can change her behavior towards the other 2. We are guessing she is approx a little over 1yr. Also finding her a new home could take forever and in the mean time, do I just keep at it? Then I have other ppl telling me to just let them have at it now. Not anyone here, but friends of friends.
 

 

[bigperm20]

That is one school of thought, that "cats have to work things out on their own" with regards to dominance/submissive issues, and that "as long as there is no blood there isn't a problem". You are more than welcome to try that as I have used both those theories.

However, I don't think they apply here. I think you have a cat that simply hates other cats. They make great single pets. It should be easy to find her a home since she is young, vetted, and fixed. I would find out what shelters in your area charge and charge maybe 60% of that as a rehoming fee. The main thing is to make sure you ask the right questions of "the new owners, and make sure you ask for a vet reference.

 

[katluver4life]

What are the risks to my 2 kitties if I do just let them "work it out" on their own? Would or could there be real injury? Would she just keep going after them? Wouldn't she just eventually tire of it? I hate giving up on her.
 

 

[bigperm20]

Some others may want to chime in as well, but it all depends on what your idea of "going after them" is. I would try and let them integrate so your new cat can establish herself as the dominant cat. Cats wrestle A LOT... this is how they determine a pecking order. Things to look out for are particular aggressive body languagees. There should be a Stickie here on the site with regards to New cat integration that will list how to spot aggression so you can stop it before it happens.

 

[bigperm20]

Also if your new kitty is too aggressive and does try to hurt one or both of your existing kitties, I would make the decision to rehome her. It's not fair to any of them to go forward. All will be happier elsewhere.

Hope this helps.