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- Jun 19, 2018
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Hey All,
First ill give the
TL;DR:
Back in February my Wife and I decide to adopt, long story short we came home with two cats. Finn a brown tabby who is about 3.5 years old now and Marcelline who is a grey tabby who just turned 1 last week.
Finn attracted us because in his profile provided by the shelter he was called a "Personal Assistant" which meant he wanted to be around you no matter what you were doing. We found this to be true, he acclimated very quickly to the new home and I remember the 2nd or 3rd night after we brought them home I was sitting in my recliner on my laptop and he just kept going from armrest to armrest all up in my business and it was great!
Marcelline was much harder to bring around. We separated her from her sisters and she had ALOT of separation anxiety. The shelter required that she be adopted with another cat because of her timidness. The first week we had her she refused to eat and we had to syringe feed her. Being that this was the first cats my wife and I have ever owned on our own this was very hard for all of us. We had Marcy secluded to the bathroom so she could hopefully become more comfortable. One night we had the bathroom door open and she say Finn and her whole demeanor changed. She actually came out of her hidey hole on her own and slowly started to explore. We were ecstatic to say the least.
Anyways introductions start to happen and she tries to be friendly with finn and rub up on him and he hisses at her (which is the only time we have ever heard him hiss, he is a very very mild mannered cat) and we reprimanded him for it (by clapping loudly) because we just wanted her to come out of her shell and start eating. We think this may have been a mistake.
Ok so flash forward 4 months to now. Marcy loves us and is super cuddly. She sleeps between me and my wife and loves hogging the bed. The cats seem to get along together, she likes to cuddle with him and he lets her. They groom each other and play fight and there is never any hissing or growling or anything. This all sounds great right! well here comes our issue.
Ever since Marcy started coming around and out of her bathroom Finn is no longer this "Personal Assistant" He has never liked being held or picked up so we try to never do that, but now he never gets up in our business like we would like. We want him around and want him to follow us around. Now he does hide or anything like that, and he lets us pet him, but he is not nearly as affectionate as when we first brought him home. The shelter said he was great with other cats and what have you so its frustrating.
Part of the issue we think is Marcy was very used to rubbing up on her sisters (as we call what she does "Shoulder checking" because she is trying to rub on finn it looks like she is shoulder checking him) Finn absolutely hates this. He will nip at her head to try and get her to stop, and I have to tell her to leave him alone, especially when its wet food feeding time because she tries to rub on him alot and it clearly bothers him. She also tends to bully him out of his resting spots. Like if he is in the window perch she will go lay with him or start "playing" because she knows he will get up and leave. And she does this to him alot. We feel like we made a huge mistake by not letting him hiss at her.
Like I said they seem to get along great otherwise. They will chase each other around the apartment a couple times a day sometimes with him starting it. She will pounce on his tail and after she does he likes to flick it around to try and entice her to keep doing it.
So my question is, is there anything we can do to try and get that "Personal Assistant" back?
Ive also attached some pictures of them together.
First ill give the
TL;DR:
New to the forum and have an issue that me an my wife are kind of at a loss on how to try and fix it. This is going to be a longer post so strap in.Adopted two cats at the same time but they didnt know each other. 3 years old and 8 months old at the time. 3 year old was classified as a "Personal Assistant" by the shelter meaning he wants to be around you no matter what you are doing. Was true when we first brought him home but once the 8 month old came out of her shell he stopped being a "Personal Assistant" we would like this behavior to come back. What can we try?
Back in February my Wife and I decide to adopt, long story short we came home with two cats. Finn a brown tabby who is about 3.5 years old now and Marcelline who is a grey tabby who just turned 1 last week.
Finn attracted us because in his profile provided by the shelter he was called a "Personal Assistant" which meant he wanted to be around you no matter what you were doing. We found this to be true, he acclimated very quickly to the new home and I remember the 2nd or 3rd night after we brought them home I was sitting in my recliner on my laptop and he just kept going from armrest to armrest all up in my business and it was great!
Marcelline was much harder to bring around. We separated her from her sisters and she had ALOT of separation anxiety. The shelter required that she be adopted with another cat because of her timidness. The first week we had her she refused to eat and we had to syringe feed her. Being that this was the first cats my wife and I have ever owned on our own this was very hard for all of us. We had Marcy secluded to the bathroom so she could hopefully become more comfortable. One night we had the bathroom door open and she say Finn and her whole demeanor changed. She actually came out of her hidey hole on her own and slowly started to explore. We were ecstatic to say the least.
Anyways introductions start to happen and she tries to be friendly with finn and rub up on him and he hisses at her (which is the only time we have ever heard him hiss, he is a very very mild mannered cat) and we reprimanded him for it (by clapping loudly) because we just wanted her to come out of her shell and start eating. We think this may have been a mistake.
Ok so flash forward 4 months to now. Marcy loves us and is super cuddly. She sleeps between me and my wife and loves hogging the bed. The cats seem to get along together, she likes to cuddle with him and he lets her. They groom each other and play fight and there is never any hissing or growling or anything. This all sounds great right! well here comes our issue.
Ever since Marcy started coming around and out of her bathroom Finn is no longer this "Personal Assistant" He has never liked being held or picked up so we try to never do that, but now he never gets up in our business like we would like. We want him around and want him to follow us around. Now he does hide or anything like that, and he lets us pet him, but he is not nearly as affectionate as when we first brought him home. The shelter said he was great with other cats and what have you so its frustrating.
Part of the issue we think is Marcy was very used to rubbing up on her sisters (as we call what she does "Shoulder checking" because she is trying to rub on finn it looks like she is shoulder checking him) Finn absolutely hates this. He will nip at her head to try and get her to stop, and I have to tell her to leave him alone, especially when its wet food feeding time because she tries to rub on him alot and it clearly bothers him. She also tends to bully him out of his resting spots. Like if he is in the window perch she will go lay with him or start "playing" because she knows he will get up and leave. And she does this to him alot. We feel like we made a huge mistake by not letting him hiss at her.
Like I said they seem to get along great otherwise. They will chase each other around the apartment a couple times a day sometimes with him starting it. She will pounce on his tail and after she does he likes to flick it around to try and entice her to keep doing it.
So my question is, is there anything we can do to try and get that "Personal Assistant" back?
Ive also attached some pictures of them together.