Normal For Cat Introductions?

[FeralHearts]

Hello everyone.

So I am wondering if all this is going normal and what else I can do to help these two be friends.

So I originally started my story in caring for feral as the cat (Mia) being introduced to the resident cat (Charlie, male 5 years, fixed) and I was concern for Mia's (5 years, Female, fixed) missing her sisters and a bunch of other things.

Mia's been in the house over a month now in a safe room. I've been taking things very slow ans she's recovering from some health issues. She barely comes out - even when I do the door wide open.

They've been seeing each other through a gate now for weeks. Over the weekend I did a room swap and Charlie did great, Mia flipped her lid. I started with the sock swap and mostly Charlie would lay beside it.

For Charlie (fixed 5 year old dominate cat with some misdirected aggression issues). He's pretty schizo about the whole thing. A sock - okay. Her blanket - one second he'll hiss at it. I try again - he's fine and so it goes with almost everything. He has tried to smell her butt too and been nose to nose with no aggression. (Once he looked like he was going to bit her and changed his mind.)

The past two days I've been sitting in the doorway petting one with one hand, one with the other. I give treats as they are doing well. Mia will leave her safe room and go to him like you would see a normal cat. Charlie sometimes makes this weird meow and then kinda does this "hop" and turns his back as he hops up in the air and walks away. Sometimes not. What is that all about?

He does get on high things at times. I think trying to show he is King.

Tonight I let Charlie walk into her safe room twice, with her in it. No aggression really. He hissed once at her when she went to him when he was smelling her food. She looked at me like "What? Why?"

Mia mostly looks at me a little scared / bewildered and with a "Why does he hate me?" look.

What else can I do to ensure a good, safe place for both of them.

(Mia is the one with the pink blankie)

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
things sound pretty good, actually. Do you think any calming products would be of value?
There might be more here;
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

 

[FeralHearts]

Hi Furballsmom :-) Thank you for that. That's encouraging - and helps ease my mind. *phew* I really want this to work.

I've been using Whisker City "At Ease" on Charlies Bedding etc. That seems to help him. Maybe I should Spray some in Mia's safe room? I know Feliway is suppose to be the best- but it's out of my budget at the moment as Mia had some vet bills. Although they were very good to me with the cost it was still quite quite a heavy cost for me.

Thank you for the link. I think that's the one I've been using as a bit of a bible. :-)

He his at her a lot this last room visit and bit me a bit. So I know he's a bit stressed. He's a high maintenance cat.

She won't leave her safe room. I tried putting her in one of his areas - nope - she gets so stressed. I tried my bedroom as I figured it would smell like me and maybe that might encourage her. Fail. She became very stressed. I'd like to see her come out of her safe room on her own. She barely makes an effort. When she does - it's the basement - which is a bad idea as it would be near impossible to locate her and I don't want to let her roam free yet. She might be ready - Charlie is not.

 

[Furballsmom]

Yes, spray some in Mia's room, and you could look into thunderease and sentry, they also have diffusers (I don't know prices). Some cats don't respond to feliway.
I think let her work things out, and maybe don't do room swapping with the cats for a little while.
Maybe even take a bit of a break yourself, they'll pick up on your stress.
You're doing great!

 

[jen]

Sounds like they are doing great. Hissing and growling and meowing are all normal. Remember this is the way cats communicate. By being vocal. They may even get into a tussle sometime, it may look scary but they do this to determine who is alpha cat in the house. As long as there is no bloodshed you need to let them work these things out. Vocalization is OK, remember that.

 

[FeralHearts]

Done :-) (Spray)

Thank you I will look into those. :-)

Yes. Good idea. Maybe step back and do the sock swapping more. Since Charlie seems to have more of a problem with this, maybe more in his area until he can adjust to her smell better? Then bring them back.

Break for me is a good idea too. When he hisses - I sit there and breath and try to remind myself that this is normal and stay calm and say in my head, "It's okay Everything will be okay."

I'll post the picture tomorrow of them together. The size difference is like "wow." I never really noticed until they were together.

Thank you :-) *breaths* :-)

 

[FeralHearts]

Thanks Jen. :-)

My vote is on Charlie. Mia seems way to peaceful. It's wicked scary to see him hiss. It's like the exorcist.

 

[KarenKat]

I think you really are doing great! It’s hard having the patience to go at Charlie’s pace, but I’m sure it’s helping tremendously.

And I say let her leave the safe room when she’s ready. We have a very territorial cat and he acts like this with new things. It will take time (and maybe treats) but you’ll be able to enjoy watching her explore soon enough.

 

[FeralHearts]

Ty Karen :-) Yes, they certainly have their pace don't they. Mia is so ready for Charlie but won't come out of her room and Charlie can't decide what he thinks. I Agree, like yours he is territorial. Everything is "mine, mine mine."

I blocked him upstairs tonight and opened Mia's room to see if she would come out. She didn't but wanted too. I sat in the other room to let her be free to choose. (I could still see though.)

I didn't even notice Charlie hop the gate. In all the years he's never done that. (Mia I think taught him.) When I went to go shut her door to go upstairs - Charlie was lying there a foot or two from her. Peaceful. Her on her bed and him on the floor. I was like , "What? WOW!" Then he smelt the pink blanket and hissed. He hates that blanket. I have no idea why.

I've taken the blanket away now and am washing it with Natures Miracle. Let's see if that makes a difference to his reaction. Maybe there was something on it he was reacting too?

And yes there are lots of treats! :-)

 

[KarenKat]

Oh wow! That’s really awesome. I call those magical moments because just for a second everything is new and Unexpected

 

[FeralHearts]

:-)

I'm understanding now why so much patience and time is required. Everything I read was saying a few weeks, but, it really does depend on the cats. Slower is absolutely better.

I feel guilty Mia spends so much time alone,as I'm at work every day, which is good cause i need to be able to feed them and myself, but it does make the process even slower.

I love that phase. "Magic Moments" - truly it is. You get a brief glimpse of how it might go and a little bit of hope that it just might work out if we can just be patient, slow and resist the urge to force it.

Here is the only pic I could get of the moment and two others, one kinda shows the size difference between them. I knew Charlie was a big cat, now I'm really understanding how big.

 

[FeralHearts]

So not sure how this is going. Mia won't come out of her safe room, even with the door open. Mostly she lays on her bed curled up. She looks so sad and I'm heart broken for her.

Charlie for the most part has seemed okay. The occasional hiss but often sleep a foot or two away from her in her safe room.

Tonight was the first sign of aggression really. He mounted her and bit the back of her neck and hissed. Not sure what to make of that? Mating? Even though he's fixed or is this one of those learning who's boss?

 

[jen]

That is him showing his dominance. He wants to be alpha cat. He is fixed but is she spayed? If not, could be hormones. If he was very recently fixed he should stay separate from her for a bit until all his hormones leave his system. How did she react to him doing this?

Are you using feliway and calming collars and such?

 

[FeralHearts]

They are both 5 years (he's 6 months older) both fixed ages ago.

Her reaction: She cowered and then ran onto her bed and curled up into a ball. She never shows signs of aggression towards him when he occasionally hisses at her. She looks more frightened and stunned that he does this. I feel so bad for her. She looks depressed.

It's strange as he acts so schizo towards her. I can drop her whole blanket in his space and he's okay with it. He seeks her out to go sleep a few feet from her and maybe an hour later walks up to her and hisses in her face for no apparent reason. He tries to hit her tail from time to time.

No collars but a spray called at ease - I obviously need to be more diligent with it. The feliway is out of my budget atm as Mia's had a lot of vet bills.

 

[FeralHearts]

Are you using feliway and calming collars and such?

Well on the good side I took Mia back to the Vet. She has one more visit left in a month for a booster, but, while there the Feliway suggestion came up again and I explained to the Vet the cost.

Something I didn't know was that in Canada, you can only get Feliway as a prescription from the vet. Which explains why I could never find it in a pet store here like you can in the US.

In saying that, it was cheaper than online. I can afford it in her area. So it's been on since Monday afternoon.

It seems to be helping her with her confidence, however, I think Charlie not so much. He attacked her today. (I think that was part my fault though as I was with her sisters and didn't wash my hands and he lost it when he smelled them.)

This morning, however, he pooped outside his litter twice. Once outside hers, once outside his. *SIGH*

I'm going to keep in it for now and see what happens given a bit more time. I was warned he could respond to it as a threat. I was really hoping not.

 

[duncanmac]

Can you make her area bigger? When I was introducing my boys, the resident cat would sit right at the doorway of the safe room and keep the new guy from coming out and the new guy was comfortable enough staying there - it was "his" space afterall. I felt I needed to give the new guy more area to roam. I was able to give the new cat a floor in the house and once he got comfortable he would get out more even when I let the new cat into the area (and the new cat then set up shop at the top of the stairs - it was a slow retreat for him ceding territory).

Even if you can't give your new girl a whole floor - maybe you could give her a couple of rooms.

 

[FeralHearts]

@duncanmac :-) That is exactly what Charlie does. Stands at the threshold and tries to stop her from leaving. (I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has a resident kitty that does that!) Sometimes he comes in and sleeps near her - no issues. Mia will sometimes walk right on past him and he's okay with that. She gets all the way up the stairs (sometimes) and then runs back. She feels very comfy and content in her room.

The house is weird, - It's a back split.
Top - 3 beds and a bath.
Ground - Kitchen, living and dining.
Lower - Recoom, pantry, small old computer room
Basement - Laundry, storage, and a second bathroom.

It would be a challenge but I think doable. I somewhat do that already - limited though. She is VERY interested in the basement but I try to block her from that as it's a mess atm. The back room Mia is in is an old computer room off of a recroom area. Charlie's litter is just outside that. I have a lot of kitty gates I could set up and drop Charlie's litter in my bedroom for a while.

I do always open the door every day off I have and every morning and night to let her have free roam. (She sometimes takes the opportunity.) I worry about doing that during the day when I'm at work in case Chalie hops the gate and there is bloodshed. (No real doors to shut save for the bedrooms, her room, and bathrooms.

So many block him off from the downstairs period for a bit?

 

[duncanmac]

Our house was a similar front-to-back split but without the basement. The new cat was in the lower level and I just put double baby gates at the top of the half flight of stairs going to that level

I don't know if blocking him off from the bottom level is exactly right - you're basically making the new cat's safe room the bottom level.

 

[GhostieCat]

When we introduced Ghost to Moogle and Penny it was hard on them at first as they adjusted. But maybe a few weeks later all seemed well so I just kinda got that feeling that it was time, and they got along great after that. Give it time. You'll know when they're ready

 

[KarenKat]

Yeah, Gohan would stop Olive from leaving her safe room ... it was a garage that had been converted into a den and it was where we spend time watching TV. Anytime she left the room, he would chase her back. For six months this went on, with her coming out more and more over time, and him chasing less and less frequently. It was hopeless and frustrating for us, and more than a few tears were shed. But beyond one or two scratches and quite a few tackles, they are now in the same rooms all the time, and she is always out and about.

If there are just tackles and occasional displays of dominance, that is way better than fighting. It may take a long time, but it means that they need to decide who's in control and how the new cat world order works. But they don't want to kill each other! So that's good!

The most important thing is for you to be calm and relaxed. This may mean having some cat-free experiences like movies, or going out and relaxing. Don't forget that you can take breaks!