Nonsocialized 4 Month old

[hiroandkai]

Hi there.

I am new. Wanted some advice. I have a 6 month oriental shorthair (neutered). He is the ambassador type. Accepting of all and very loving. His name is Hiro. He is my shadow and constant companion. I did notice he was getting lonely. So I thought I'd get him a friend.

I searched for a while and decided on another oriental type breed, a Siamese. I found a breeder. She health tested, shows and has multiple champions and limited litters. I thought I did good research. Honestly.

So I went and visited her cattery. I was greeted by a social female named PeekABoo. She loved all over me. Others just watched me from perches. I then found my potental kitten in a carrier. He is seal point Siamese, just shy of 4 months old. I reached in and pet him. He was timid as usual when meeting a new person. Scared. But not too bad. He has the most beautiful blue eyes. I brought him home.

This is when it got bad. I opened the carrier and let him in a spare room. With litter and food/water. He immediately hisses at me and growled, eyes dilated huge. I was a bit shocked but summed it up to fear. I talked gently to him and left him alone. This morning I checked on him. He was on the bed. Hasn't ate or drank. Litter untouched. I don't think he moved all night. So I talked gently. He hisses/spit and growled again. I left him be. He started meowing a couple hours later and I entered the room. I had wet food. I held it out to him and he licked it while growling at me the entire time.

He then peed in my floor. A huge puddle. Not like a spray. This was the first time he pottied since he'd be with me. Which was almost 24 hours. So I cleaned it up. Mopped. I thought perhaps the litter pan scared him. So I downgraded to a smaller shallow pan. I also thought maybe he had too much room. So I got one of my large kennels/crates (something a Great Dane could sleep in). I put the litter pan in one side/food/water and a bed and then tried to pick him up. He was not happy with this he hisses/spit/growled and acted like he might bite me. I talked gently and even though I was scared of him I placed him in the crate and closed the door.

My other cat is very curious about the new addition and has snuck peeks at him. He is excited and curious/no hissing. Which I didn't really anticipate a issue with Hiro accepting the newcomer. He loves all strangers/cats and dogs.

This is my current situation. Any advice would be appreciated. I can't tell you how discouraged I am with the situation. I've never had this situation before and I'm concerned he may never be a pet.

As far as the breeder goes. I contacted her asap this AM and told her the situation. She said No Returns/Refunds and that I needed to give him time. I explained to her that I am prepared to give him time but that it's odd that he's so unsocialized. She assured me that he was very social with her and loving. She said he came when called and was friendly.

I'd love any ideas to win him over. Any type of advice on what I can do to calm him or make him trust me would be great. I'll admit I've cried quite a bit over this in the last 2 days.

 

[tobilei]

Unfortunately breeders get to make the call on whether or not they will allow you to return a kitten. Most decent one's do if things really don't work out (but you often lose the initial deposit or have to pay a rehoming fee or something of the sort).

Before you give up on him, he may just be a timid kitty. Is he in a bathroom? Give him a smaller room but still give him a room (preferably one that's easy to mop). Ask the breeder what litter she was using, it's possible if it's a different sort that he is frightened to use it. I have one female cat who has been with us a year and will stop dead at the edge of the box if I change the litter in any way (even one scoop will deter her!).

Did he arrive with a blanket or anything that smells like home? Leave his carrier that he came in and anything that came with him that smells of home in the carrier for him to sleep in (or put it in his bed/basket if he has one). If you don't have anything maybe ask the breeder if she has anything.

Second, buy some feliway. Put the plug in in his room if you can or at least get the spray (get both if you can). This will hopefully relax him a bit (rescue remedy in his water may also help but I think feliway has more scientific backup, not to say many don't swear by rescue remedy, just be sure to get the pet version). There's also sentry calming collar but it sent my boy a bit silly and made him more anxious.

When you feed him, stay in the room but sit right across the room from him and slowly get closer and closer as he gets more comfortable with you being around. Eventually he may let you stroke his head or rub his chin.

Some kitties just take time to adjust. Going to a new home is pretty scary for them and if they're already an anxious personality it can be a bit tougher. Hopefully with time and patience he'll come around