No partner, no kids, how to deal with the criticism?

[krazy kat2]

When people start in with me like that, I stand there not saying anything, looking a little past them. When they finally run out of steam, I give them a blank look and ask "did you say something?" must not have been important. I have also carried earplugs in my pocket and inserted them when someone I really don't want to talk to approaches me. I hold my finger up in a wait-a-second gesture, and make a big production of inserting them. That will almost always make someone go away. Or if they get inside your personal space, you can "accidentally" step on their foot, they will move.

Don't let dimwits worry you, or question the way you live your life, they obviously are not doing well with their own. You seem happy except for people that have no positive place in your life.

 

[terestrife]

When people start in with me like that, I stand there not saying anything, looking a little past them. When they finally run out of steam, I give them a blank look and ask "did you say something?" must not have been important. I have also carried earplugs in my pocket and inserted them when someone I really don't want to talk to approaches me. I hold my finger up in a wait-a-second gesture, and make a big production of inserting them. That will almost always make someone go away. Or if they get inside your personal space, you can "accidentally" step on their foot, they will move.

Don't let dimwits worry you, or question the way you live your life, they obviously are not doing well with their own. You seem happy except for people that have no positive place in your life.

thats all good suggestion, thanks!

everyone gave great advice, i really appreciate it.

 

[minka]

Woah, keep bringing the advice; I'm watching this thread now!

 

[ms sherry]

He-is-a-bully.He-is-also-very-unhappy,and-the-only-thing-that-makes-him-happy,is-to-judge-others,and-put-them-down.

Those-type-of-people,zero-in-on,and-seek-out-people,that-have-a-weaker,personalty,per-say,that-are-easily-bullied-and-get-their-feelings-hurt.Those-type-of-people,thrive,on-it.

Do-not-respond-to-him.

Do-not-let-him-in-the-door.
Do-not-ans-the-phone-if-he-calls.
Do-not-send-him-anything.

In-other-words,do-not-enable-him,to-treat-you-like-this.

Who-the-heck-cares-what-he-thinks,he-is-the-loser,not-you.

Co-worker,once-told-me,if-you-let-them-upset-you,they-have-power-over-you,do-not-give-them-that-power.

If-you-must-interact-with-him,let-me-know,will-tell-you-what-to-say-to-him.Please-paw-mail-me.

:high5:

 

[ms sherry]

Ok.......why do you have a 'hyphen' after every word? Just curios...I get that from my cat...heehee

 

[flintmccullough]

Cause-my-space-bar-is-on-injured-reserve,lol,no-money-right-now-to-get-another-one,lol,he-was-a-high-draft-pick,so-he-costs,alot.

I-never-mind-the-poliet-questions.

 

[minka]

Cause-my-space-bar-is-on-injured-reserve,lol,no-money-right-now-to-get-another-one,lol,he-was-a-high-draft-pick,so-he-costs,alot.:lol3:

I-never-mind-the-poliet-questions. :high5:

We told you before that most any one will work

 

[flintmccullough]

Nope,lol,it-won't.

His-mousey-plugs-into-the-keyboard,and-his-controls,are-on-the-keyboard.

He-ain't-got-a-tower.

He-ain't-got-no-controls-on-his-monitor,like-a-Windows-monitor.

He-gots-to-has-a-i-mac-keyboard.

If-a-kitty-wants-to-send-me-one,lol,I-will-glady-pays-you-back,lol.

Respect-The-Star

 

[libby74]

I've loved reading this thread!  There's been some truly wonderful advice here, and I hope the OP can use some of it to deal with that nasty family member.

 

[natalie_ca]

Nope,lol,it-won't.

His-mousey-plugs-into-the-keyboard,and-his-controls,are-on-the-keyboard.

He-ain't-got-a-tower.

He-ain't-got-no-controls-on-his-monitor,like-a-Windows-monitor.

He-gots-to-has-a-i-mac-keyboard.

If-a-kitty-wants-to-send-me-one,lol,I-will-glady-pays-you-back,lol.

Respect-The-Star

Try doing a google search on how to use a PC mouse and keyboard with an i-Mac.  Apparently it is possible.  I found this link, plus several others.

http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/using-your-old-pcs-keyboard-and-mouse-with-a-mac.html

 

[minka]

Nope,lol,it-won't.:lol3:

His-mousey-plugs-into-the-keyboard,and-his-controls,are-on-the-keyboard.

He-ain't-got-a-tower.

He-ain't-got-no-controls-on-his-monitor,like-a-Windows-monitor.

He-gots-to-has-a-i-mac-keyboard.

If-a-kitty-wants-to-send-me-one,lol,I-will-glady-pays-you-back,lol. :high5:

Respect-The-Star

You just plug everything into a USB post, you don't need a tower. :nod:
And then if you need to use the Mac key or anything else, you can just reach over and press it on the laptop keyboard.
:nod:


(And you might never hear the end of it till you get it )

 

[flintmccullough]

You just plug everything into a USB post, you don't need a tower.

And then if you need to use the Mac key or anything else, you can just reach over and press it on the laptop keyboard.

(And you might never hear the end of it till you get it

)

Huh?????

Can-you-say-that-in-Dick&Jane-english,LOL.

Just-send-me-a-imac-keyboard.......

 

[minka]

You just plug everything into a USB post, you don't need a tower. :nod:

And then if you need to use the Mac key or anything else, you can just reach over and press it on the laptop keyboard.
:nod:

(And you might never hear the end of it till you get it )

Huh?????

Can-you-say-that-in-Dick&Jane-english,LOL.:lol3:

Just-send-me-a-imac-keyboard....... :high5:

Sorry, I meant USB port.
When you get the keyboard, you will simply plug it into the usb port at the side of the laptop.
If you need to use one of the keys you were saying the keyboard won't have, just press it on the laptop keyboard.

 

[terestrife]

Cause-my-space-bar-is-on-injured-reserve,lol,no-money-right-now-to-get-another-one,lol,he-was-a-high-draft-pick,so-he-costs,alot.

I-never-mind-the-poliet-questions.

i was wondering the same thing about the hyphen, but i didnt want to offend you by asking. lol i thought you were doing it to make your text stand out.

 

[catsknowme]

I was married to that same kind of guy! Esp if there's a audience, the "GAD, I hate it when you dont take your meds!!" works wonders.

I am a caretaker/very giving. I also care for ferals & my own cats and am often criticized for how much I help cats, esp by those humans for whom I caregive. In that situation, I tell th em that the heart that cares so much for cats is the same one that keeps me continuing to help them! Keep strong, dear heart!

 

[terestrife]

I have one more question. How do you guys deal with the kind of people that kind of like to belittle others? Like my sister in laws mother, i really dont like her. During christmas eve when we had a party, i was sitting with all the girls in the family. And i commented outloud that i was wondering when one of my brothers was going to get there. And she piped in and said "what do you care? He will get here when he feels like it." It wasnt so much what she said, as the way she said it, in a b1tchy tone kind of way. Even my sister looked at me like she was wondering why she was talking to me like that.

Sometimes i will say something and she will make fun of what i say. For instance i saw the cupcakes that my sister in law made, and i said "Awww, they are adorable!" and her mother butted in and said the same thing i said in a high pitched mocking voice. I find her and her husband very annoying, as they like to mock others and butt into their lives. i have told off her husband. But i dont want to do that, i really like my sister in law and hate the thought of hurting her parents, because that will also hurt her.

how can i deal with these type of people?

 

[swampwitch]

I have one more question. How do you guys deal with the kind of people that kind of like to belittle others? Like my sister in laws mother, i really dont like her. During christmas eve when we had a party, i was sitting with all the girls in the family. And i commented outloud that i was wondering when one of my brothers was going to get there. And she piped in and said "what do you care? He will get here when he feels like it." It wasnt so much what she said, as the way she said it, in a b1tchy tone kind of way. Even my sister looked at me like she was wondering why she was talking to me like that.

Sometimes i will say something and she will make fun of what i say. For instance i saw the cupcakes that my sister in law made, and i said "Awww, they are adorable!" and her mother butted in and said the same thing i said in a high pitched mocking voice. I find her and her husband very annoying, as they like to mock others and butt into their lives. i have told off her husband. But i dont want to do that, i really like my sister in law and hate the thought of hurting her parents, because that will also hurt her.

how can i deal with these type of people?

Look up "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and in the symptoms you'll most likely see a full description of your sister-in-law's mother. I would advise you to run far away from people like this, but it looks like she is now part of your family and you have to see her on a regular basis. 

You might want to share the personality disorder info with your sister-in-law, no doubt she has suffered under her mother her whole life and has blamed herself for her mother's treatment of her. Knowing about this disorder can be very freeing!

Agreeing with this horrible woman (and her husband) is a technique that also works here, will shut down her argumentative comments and the mocking. There's nothing quite like having to deal with a mean adult who acts like a 5 year old.  

 

[terestrife]

Look up "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and in the symptoms you'll most likely see a full description of your sister-in-law's mother. I would advise you to run far away from people like this, but it looks like she is now part of your family and you have to see her on a regular basis. 

You might want to share the personality disorder info with your sister-in-law, no doubt she has suffered under her mother her whole life and has blamed herself for her mother's treatment of her. Knowing about this disorder can be very freeing!

Agreeing with this horrible woman (and her husband) is a technique that also works here, will shut down her argumentative comments and the mocking. There's nothing quite like having to deal with a mean adult who acts like a 5 year old.  

Thanks for the advice! I looked up the info and it really does sound like her. Thankfully, i dont have to see her too often. Only during family get togethers. I used to love visiting my brother, but i dont go over that often anymore because of his in laws.

I will do my best to just ignore her comments, i have a lot of nieces and nephews, i think it might make things easier to pretend im dealing with a child when i talk to her.

I find it easier to deal with kids than adults. Again thanks for taking the time to respond, i really appreciate it!

 

[natalie_ca]

how can i deal with these type of people?

Probably not the right thing to say, but I'd outright tell her that I find her to be rude and obnoxious, and that she should tape record herself one day so that she can see why you think that.  LOL

Or better yet, I'd secretly tape record her and then play it back in a group setting.

As you can tell, I really have no patience, or liking for people such as that.

 

[terestrife]

I think another difficult part about dealing with the criticism is learning not to care. I suffer from depression, and i have a lot of self esteem issues. In the past i would get depressed for months at a time, especially if someone would try to put me down. Now i usually cry about it for a few hours and then i am good.

But its so hard to shut off other peoples opinions and criticisms. My sister and i went out shopping today, and she was telling me to be very careful of Lisa (the wife of my brother Jack.) I have gotten really close to lisa and have started seeing her as a sister. She is really sweet and supportive.

Especially when i regained the 100 lbs that i had lost she was kind and told me i could easily lose it again if i felt like it. But my sister told me that one time she was having a conversation Lisa, and Lisa's sister. Lisa's sister is overweight, and she was asking lisa if i was still skinny because she wanted weight loss tips. My sister said Lisa got a really b1tchy tone and said "Oh, you are saying that because you havent seen what she looks..." and then she stopped and changed the subject realizing my sister was there.

I want to get to a point that i dont care what people think. There is a part of me that would love to lose the weight again. But i fear i will only be doing it because of what others think, and not for myself, for my health. I think until the day comes that i learn to shut off what people think and say, that im never going be healthy mentally, or physically.
 

Thanks for listening everyone, it helps so much to have a safe place that i can go to and vent.