Night Time Terror, Help Please!

[r0ydangit]

Hi All, I come to really seek out what's best for Greg (see profile picture), he is an 7-year-old neutered male, domestic longhair, indoor cat. Also we have another 8 year-old spayed domestic shorthair cat who is an indoor cat. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment. Until about a year ago everything was fine until we went on a trip. Both cats have always been good with us gone and people visiting for food and water and play every other day or so, but after our return, Greg developed the following traits. At night he will meow and scratch at the bedroom door, if we let him sleep with us, he will crawl all over us restless and push into us (my wife and I), if I try and give him the attention he then seeks it from my wife and wakes her up. Literally the only time he will calm down is if one of us sleeps in the living room and one of us sleeps in the bedroom, even then it's not like he cares to sleep with us. He will then just go sleep somewhere else peacefully. The other cat is completely unphased by any of this.

Things I've tried:
-Speaking to the vet! His first reaction was that he may be nearing end of life! WOAH! was not ready for that. Willing to try anything else, he did give me some medicine to calm him down that did not help.
-Lots of play before bedtime/ Cat-Friendly Environment in living room to keep Greg entertained
-Calaway Defusers
-Melatonin
-Thunder Jacket
-Cat Nip
-Changing Food/Litter

Please let me know what you think, my wife has health concerns that need her to get full complete rest, I love my wife and want to sleep in the same bed but I also want a happy cat without hurting my marriage or getting rid of my cat. Any advice is welcome.

Thank you for your time and expertise!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
Try a couple things, how about a nightlight?

Also, due to the way you described his behavior, what about a heating pad --with a couple of towels on it so it doesn't get too warm.

Try a ticking clock, if it's too loud wrap it in a towel to muffle it. I know these things are usually for kittens but separation anxiety is not age specific, I think.

Also, you could try low volume classical harp music, or MusicForCats . com.

Oh, and maybe a different vet

 

[r0ydangit]

These are all great ideas Furballsmom, thank you. He does like to sit on electronics for warmth it seems. I'll definately give all of these a shot!

 

[Furballsmom]

Let us know how things go

 

[basschick]

do you give him insane amounts of cuddling and smuggle time before bed? HK lets me sleep longer if he's been petted and made much of before bed, and i always leave a full can of food for him, which has also helped. it might also help to go to bed a little earlier and cuddle him there. a heating pad, like Furballsmom suggested, is also a good idea.

7 years old and near end of life??? our cat is about to turn 20 - i suggest a new vet, as much for his lack of bedside manner as the fact your cat ain't that old. perhaps a different medicine, maybe something like prozac, might help.

 

[r0ydangit]

Thank you basschick! Greg is a bit "hot and cold" when it comes to affection, it's on his own terms so we try, play seems to be the best benefit to get his attention in, otherwise cuddling turns to bitting, but yes we do try. The food thing has helped delay the time of "Terror" instead of him immediately meowing at the door for us to let him in and eventually separate he will wait until midnight - 3 am, which might as well be worse than just going to bed separately to began with, luckily I am a light sleeper and catch the first sound of the scratch and can wake up before he starts howling and wake up my wife, but yeah like I said I don't want to resent him for it and I want my wife to get the sleep she needs, and I need, PLUS I want a happy cat. So yes, thanks again for all the ideas keep them coming I will try anything out. one at a time to see how it goes and which thing will work.

A new vet is definitely in order, I've been taking both my cats to him for a long time and this is the first time he's ever been like that but this is also the first time I've ever come to him with a complaint other than them being sick, maybe he is more of a dog person! =/

 

[Hellenww]

Adult cats hold youngsters still when they are too annoying and it's time to sleep. Have you tried a bear hug that doesn't hurt but doesn't let him go bother your wife either.

The other thing that works for some people is to totally ignore kitty. If he doesn't get the attention maybe he will give up. With fibromyalgia I understand the need for sleep and this can take a while for him to accept.

 

[basschick]

do you put a full can of food out at bedtime? i feed HK before bed AND do the full can of food. it does help. of course, the result is as you say - he wakes me later, which sometimes makes it harder to get back to sleep :/

Adult cats hold youngsters still when they are too annoying and it's time to sleep. Have you tried a bear hug that doesn't hurt but doesn't let him go bother your wife either.

The other thing that works for some people is to totally ignore kitty. If he doesn't get the attention maybe he will give up. With fibromyalgia I understand the need for sleep and this can take a while for him to accept.

ignoring works for some cats, but has never worked for HK. he's been keeping me awake or waking me up since 1999. still, it's worth a try!

 

[erikaash27]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, my cat Milo, used to have the same exact issues and I used to get no sleep because of it, so I can totally feel your pain. But I figured out what works for him and he sleeps through the whole night and never bothers me. Some of the things that have previously been mentioned have really helped Milo: a whole can of wet food right before bed, playing at least 15 min before bed with "Da Bird" toy, and then catnip every day after I give canned food. These things have helped a ton. Also, sticking to a schedule everyday. I wake up at the same time every day and go to bed at the same time every day. This has helped him realize "okay its bed time now". Also, I know this has already been mentioned, but you have to completely ignore your cat when he's meowing/scratching at the door. I know it may be tough, but you have to stick with it and eventually maybe after a few weeks, he will give up.

Don't give up, eventually it will work out! Good luck!

 

[r0ydangit]

Adult cats hold youngsters still when they are too annoying and it's time to sleep. Have you tried a bear hug that doesn't hurt but doesn't let him go bother your wife either.

The other thing that works for some people is to totally ignore kitty. If he doesn't get the attention maybe he will give up. With fibromyalgia I understand the need for sleep and this can take a while for him to accept.

Hi Helenww, thanks for the reply, you know I did bottle feed this big fella when he was 5-8 weeks so he does allow me to cuddle and hold him to some extent now that he is full grown. When he gets calm enough he still thinks my beard is a momma cat and gets in and starts making sucking sounds (I never said he was smart) but when he's in one of these night moods he isn't having it. He is squirmy. If you give him the attention he then wants it from my wife instead, moves to her, starts climbing all over making muffins, keep in mind he's almost 20lbs and trying to snuggle in your face. it's cute for 5 minutes not an hour. She has Lupus and needs her rest which leads to me out in the living room and oddly enough he then leaves us both alone and minds his business. With ignoring him we've done it on the weekends as a trial, it's hard he gives up after maybe 2 hours... but he is back at it every night, I don't think he will unlearn it.

 

[r0ydangit]

do you put a full can of food out at bedtime? i feed HK before bed AND do the full can of food. it does help. of course, the result is as you say - he wakes me later, which sometimes makes it harder to get back to sleep :/

I have, the food goes uneaten =/

 

[r0ydangit]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, my cat Milo, used to have the same exact issues and I used to get no sleep because of it, so I can totally feel your pain. But I figured out what works for him and he sleeps through the whole night and never bothers me. Some of the things that have previously been mentioned have really helped Milo: a whole can of wet food right before bed, playing at least 15 min before bed with "Da Bird" toy, and then catnip every day after I give canned food. These things have helped a ton. Also, sticking to a schedule everyday. I wake up at the same time every day and go to bed at the same time every day. This has helped him realize "okay its bed time now". Also, I know this has already been mentioned, but you have to completely ignore your cat when he's meowing/scratching at the door. I know it may be tough, but you have to stick with it and eventually maybe after a few weeks, he will give up.

Don't give up, eventually it will work out! Good luck!

Thank you Erikaash27 I haven't tried that toy in particular. I will look into it and our schedule is not exactly concrete, but thank you for the advice! Hopefully, he can join the ranks of Milo!

 

[susanm9006]

An option if you have enough space is to confine him to a room by himself for the night. If you don’t have a spare room then there are very nice two story cat kennels that would give him plenty of room. Combine that with a heated bed and he might eventually settle down. If you do go the heated bed route, there are ones designed specifically for pets that only turn on when the animal lies on it and shuts off when they get up.

 

[rubysmama]

When I first adopted my Ruby, she would jump up on the bed and wake me every morning 60 to 90 minutes before it was time to get up. Eventually I got sleep deprived, and started putting her out of the room and closing the door when she woke me, telling her she had to wait for the radio to come one. I can't remember how long it took now (maybe a few weeks), but one morning my radio came on, and then I heard her galloping down the hall, and onto the bed.

These days she will occasionally wake me too early, but I ignore her and she goes away. So I definitely would try putting him out of the room when he disturbs your sleep. Luckily for me, Ruby didn't scratch at the door, like your Greg does. For that reason, as susanm9006 suggested, is there a spare room you could put him in that is far enough away from the bedroom that you can't hear him?

Not sure if there is anything that will work for you, but here's the link to the TCS article How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night (step-by-step Plan) that might have some helpful tips.

 

[1 bruce 1]

do you give him insane amounts of cuddling and smuggle time before bed? HK lets me sleep longer if he's been petted and made much of before bed, and i always leave a full can of food for him, which has also helped. it might also help to go to bed a little earlier and cuddle him there. a heating pad, like Furballsmom suggested, is also a good idea.

7 years old and near end of life??? our cat is about to turn 20 - i suggest a new vet, as much for his lack of bedside manner as the fact your cat ain't that old. perhaps a different medicine, maybe something like prozac, might help.

Yeah, unless this cat has multiple untreated/un-treatable life threatening diseases, 7 years and "nearing the end of life" because the cat wants affection sounds like a vet ready to party like it's the year 1850...

 

[basschick]

I have, the food goes uneaten =/

it only works for me if it's a favorite flavor - one he'll pounce on and eat like crazy. a non-fave flavor goes uneaten here, too.

 

[imjustacatmom]

Wow as someone who has multiple chronic illness I understand what your wife is going through...and yes she needs her rest...and so do you for that matter...you said when you pet him he will start to bite...he may be overstimulated...also you said this strted the last time you were gone...who did you have watch him? Maybe you can ask them if anything out of the ordinary happened and also bring them around to see if Greg acts different...also my boy was also waking us up and it was getting crazy as well...I started to shove him off bed and say no in a very firm voice...as I am the light sleeper (my hubby could sleep through an earthquake lol) it took a few weeks but he stopped...another thing I did too was give him affection and he would settle in to sleep....and that's what he will do now...so if if this helps but you know you can also Google Jackson Galaxy...he has tons of suggestions for issues