New older cat with kitten

[sanecatlady2]

So I've had a bored kitten for almost a year now (she's about 10-11 months old), and since she's been so bored and energetic and I felt like she was bored when I go to work (and sometimes when I bring that work home), I got her a buddy, a 2 year old playful seeming boy tuxedo cat.

I followed the myriad of introduction threads, kept them in separate rooms for 2 weeks at first, got the new cat vet checked first thing, the towel rub, etc. Then I let them finally meet after 2 weeks of non-aggression and they seemed fine, just possible play wresting. I put them back in their separate rooms and then tried to have them meet again for an hour the next day. And I've noticed that my resident kitten continually harasses the older cat. I thought it was just play, but then it happens every time! I only occasionally see claws and snarls and I separate them, but then the next day its like as soon as my resident kitten sees the older cat, she runs after him and nips at his back, chasing him around. He tries to hide under the bed, on the stairs, under the couch, everywhere before i finally just take resident kitty and put her away in a different room.

I'm afraid that she's stressing out the older guy. I could just try the introduction all over again but the new older cat definitely doesn't like being in the quarantine room, but neither does resident kitten (she yowls if i lock her in a room out of sight of me). Their fighting or really rough play or whatever this is def stresses ME out. I try to play with each kitten for at least 10 mins in the morning and at least 30 mins in the afternoon but I'm only one person and so i naturally cannot give the same amount of time/attention that I gave to my kitten to both cats in two different rooms.

I guess I just want to vent/ ask for any advice on how you know that two cats are just not going to get along. I do realize that 3 weeks is pretty soon, but jeez, she's still a kitten, i assume its not going to get much better as she gets older, and I feel bad bringing in another cat just to be stressed in my house. The entire reason why i got him was to be a friend to my kitten...

What I've used/tried: Feliway, towel rub, perfume sprays, separation with visits (they play footsie under the door),

Is this just a time thing? How many times have you guys done the separation cycle before you just acknowledged that two cats are not going to get along?

 

[sanecatlady2]

edit: I do have 2 literboxes, feeding bowls, etc. I try to distract my kitten with toys when they're together but she's not interested in anything but chasing down the older cat.

Also, its just weird because sometimes she will seem playful with the older cat and sometimes she is all nips and claws on the back. I just can't tell if they're playing or fighting but it all seems to b very one-sided.

 

[shadowsrescue]

After you did the scent swapping did you feed them on either side of closed doors?  Did you then just crack the door and allow them to safely sniff?  You can try a very tall baby gate or a screen door to allow safe sniffing.  Sometime a large dog crate or large cat carrier works well too.  You can place one cat inside the crate, cover it on 3 sides and allow the other cat to sniff.  You want to keep the visits very very short and if anything more than hissing starts, you want to stop. You can play string with them while one is in the crate too.  Just be sure that visits are very short at first.  Do them a few times each day gradually lengthening the visits.   Did you try giving them yummy treat rewards? 

Feliway and Feliway spray work well.  What did you mean by perfume sprays?  Cats are very sensitive to scent and it can have negative effects on the cat. 

You can try Composure feline treats or composure liquid to help calm the stressed cat or use it on both.  It does really help to lower the stress level of the cats. 

It sounds as though you followed the guidelines, but rushed some of the steps.  This is quite common as we so want the kitties to be together.  When I brought a feral/stray into my house last year all went smooth sailing at first.  Then I rushed the last few steps and disaster struck.  I had to redo introductions and it took forever.  Here is a great article by Jackson Galaxy on cat to cat introductions http://jacksongalaxy.com/2010/10/01/cat-to-cat-introductions/ 

Slow things down a bit and back up a bit and see if you can't get the cats to regroup.  You and your kitties will be much happier in the long run if you take the time and patience to introduce slowly.

Thanks so much for taking the time to work with you cats. 

 

[sanecatlady2]

 
After you did the scent swapping did you feed them on either side of closed doors?  Did you then just crack the door and allow them to safely sniff?  You can try a very tall baby gate or a screen door to allow safe sniffing.  Sometime a large dog crate or large cat carrier works well too.  You can place one cat inside the crate, cover it on 3 sides and allow the other cat to sniff.  You want to keep the visits very very short and if anything more than hissing starts, you want to stop. You can play string with them while one is in the crate too.  Just be sure that visits are very short at first.  Do them a few times each day gradually lengthening the visits.   Did you try giving them yummy treat rewards? 

Feliway and Feliway spray work well.  What did you mean by perfume sprays?  Cats are very sensitive to scent and it can have negative effects on the cat. 

You can try Composure feline treats or composure liquid to help calm the stressed cat or use it on both.  It does really help to lower the stress level of the cats. 

It sounds as though you followed the guidelines, but rushed some of the steps.  This is quite common as we so want the kitties to be together.  When I brought a feral/stray into my house last year all went smooth sailing at first.  Then I rushed the last few steps and disaster struck.  I had to redo introductions and it took forever.  Here is a great article by Jackson Galaxy on cat to cat introductions http://jacksongalaxy.com/2010/10/01/cat-to-cat-introductions/ 

Slow things down a bit and back up a bit and see if you can't get the cats to regroup.  You and your kitties will be much happier in the long run if you take the time and patience to introduce slowly.

Thanks so much for taking the time to work with you cats. 

Yep, I tried reading that guide, I'm just kind of wondering which stage I'm really at...it seems like i'm back to square 0? I'm currently trying to babygate thing but my resident kitten just hops over it when i'm not looking so its not really working out too well. I tried stacking two on top of each other and she still tries to hop over, but she just doesn't make it and sends the whole thing topping (they really weren't meant to be stacked, haha). I feed them on either side of the door but they don't seem to care about each other then. If i put the resident kitten in a crate she will cry because she's a giant crybaby. Even when i'm on the other side of the baby gate she cries. its ridiculous. I guess she gets jealous? Because now some of the time I spend with her I have to split with the other cat. Should I just ignore this? Unfortunately the kitten doesn't care for treats, only play, but when i try to play with her with the other cat anywhere near, she just zeroes in and ignores my attempts.

I have calming treats but it doesn't seem to have an effect on the resident kitten, just the older cat. Maybe I'll try a calming collar. So right now I think my steps will be:

1. Separate them fully again and ignore my resident kitten's crying when I"m spending time with the other cat (this happens daily and it drives me nuts).

2. Let them sniff each other through the baby gate and then bring back resident kitten if she tries to jump over

3. Then after a week let them see each other in person again

Does this sound ok? Some of the problems are that they seem fine through the baby gate but then when they get together my kitten just goes into constant harass mode until the older cat is hiding under the bed again. The perfume thing I got from another site, which was an attempt to make both of the cats smell the same, which was to dab a bit of tiny perfume on each cat but it didn't really work.

How long did it take you to introduce yours? It's coming on 3 weeks now  and i'm just not sure when people know that their resident cat just doesn't like other cats.

The feliway spray doesn't seem to do a whole lot even though I bought two diffusers pumping through the house. I haven't been really able to find a timeframe for this and right now I feel like i'm just making them both (and me) unhappy

 

[shadowsrescue]

I know all about the baby gates falling over!!  I used a cheap screen door I bought from Lowes ($20) and attached it to the door frame with cheap tension rods.  I have a picture of it if you'd like to see.  It allowed the cat in the room to see what was going on in the house as well as hear and smell better too while keeping him safe inside.  I only used the screen door when I was home since if the cat inside the room slammed into it, it would fall.  Feeding on either side of the door is good too with the screen as they can see and smell each other. 

My cats took forever to get along.  I started introducing them in late July.  In mid August, I thought they were ready for supervised short visits together.  All was fine for about a week.  Then the territory issue started and hissing quickly went to growling that quickly went to chasing which quickly went to full out fur flying fights.  I had to separate and start introductions over again.  It wasn't until  late November when things were better.  I brought a very territorial neutered feral male into the house.  He lived in a spare room getting used to the house for 2 months before we let him see our resident cat.  Our resident cat had been the soul inside cat for 5 years.  He was used to the ferals I have outside, but not used to having one inside the house.  They will never ever be buddies and may never ever like each other.  Yet they have worked out coexisting in the house.  Almost daily there is a chase, but rarely is it more than that.

If you separate for a week, I wouldn't just let them back out and hope for the best.  I really would try the whole process over.  If your resident cat doesn't like the cage, try putting another cat in the cat.  I would rotate who went into the cage and usually try to make it the cat that wouldn't be upset. 

You may have to ignore the cries of your resident cat.  Try playing with him to wear him out then offer him a treat and then go see the new cat. 

I know that 3 weeks sounds like a really long time, but in the cat world it isn't that long.  The key is to work on it each day several times a day if possible.  Try to end a session before hissing or growling.  I used to start with just a minute or two and then that was it for that session.  A few hours later do another meet and greet and see if you can do 2 minutes.  If there is hissing or growling and anyone seems stressed stop the session and try again later.  I used to play string with the cats through the cage and always offer a delicious treat.  My cats loved plain cooked chicken. 

Keep up the hard work.  I know how frustrating it is.