New Cat Hyper-Fixated On Other Cat

[linkworshiper]

Hi!

Recently, I adopted two new cats. One of them, Rigatoni, is seven and has integrated with my resident cats very well. He plays with them and will sleep contentedly in their presence. The other new cat, Mr. Jenkins, is a head-scratcher for me. When he first came home, our vet pointed out that he was probably in severe pain due to a cracked tooth, which we had removed as soon as possible. Until the extraction, Mr. Jenkins lived in the bedroom, and he still does for the most part, as his integration has improved but is still a little strained. Here is the rundown...

Mr. Jenkins and Ham, our resident alpha, have grown to tolerate each other. They aren't best friends but they also don't react. They'll smell each other and walk away.

Mr. Jenkins and Liam are slowly improving but very slowly. Liam still runs when he sees Mr. Jenkins approach, though he's been less skittish recently.

Reginald eventually decided that he was going to be a crusty old man and hisses at Mr. Jenkins, but Mr. Jenkins seems to respect that and leaves him alone.

Which brings us to Rigatoni. Mr. Jenkins is HYPER FOCUSED on him. Wherever Rigatoni is, Mr. Jenkins sets himself up and just waits. Sometimes, Rigatoni will try to hide behind the sofa and Mr. Jenkins will just sit at the opening and wait. Sometimes he'll creep in and just lay there, basically trapping Rigatoni. There have been a few instances even since the tooth extraction where Mr. Jenkins has jumped on Rigatoni. On the flip side, they have had moments where they will lay near each other. Mr. Jenkins grooms Rigatoni sometimes. When Mr. Jenkins is alone in the bedroom with us, he loves attention and is much more energetic than when he's out with the others. He moves much more slowly when he's around the other guys and we've learned that when his tail starts flicking, he's thinking dangerous thoughts. I just don't understand. I've tried using toys to distract them whenever he's out but it doesn't seem to work. Do I jus tneed to be more patient?

Thanks.

 

[Furballsmom]

On the flip side, they have had moments where they will lay near each other. Mr. Jenkins grooms Rigatoni sometimes.

Hi! Yes, due to these wonderful moments especially the grooming, he just needs more patience I think you'll find eventually that he'll even relax when he's out with the rest of the furry gang.

Although, for Rigatoni's sake maybe help him out now and then so he's not trapped. That's stressful.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. You don't talk about how Rigatoni does with the other cats. Nor, did you say how old Mr. Jenkins is. And how much time was there between when Rigatoni came to your home and integrated with the other cats vs. Mr. Jenkins? What are the differences between Mr. Jenkins/Liam and Mr. Jenkins/Rigatoni? If Liam runs does Mr. Jenkins track him down like he does Rigatoni? All of these things play a role in the eventual relationship they will grow with each other overtime.

I think Mr. Jenkins may be trying to feel out who he can best dominate - he obviously knows he is not the alpha, and probably is aware he is 'last in line' in terms of joining your crew, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to dominate one or two of the others. It is good that Mr. J & Rigatoni have 'nice' time together, though. If the grooming is pretty much one way, it could be Mr. J's way to letting Rigatoni know 'who is in charge' between the two. Perhaps, Mr. J. wants a serious playmate, and he has chosen Rigatoni, despite the fact that Rigatoni isn't interested.

I do agree that you need to help Rigatoni out in these situations, just to let him know someone "has his back". As long as nothing heads into a serious fight, it will probably smooth out over time.

 

[linkworshiper]

Hi! Yes, due to these wonderful moments especially the grooming, he just needs more patience I think you'll find eventually that he'll even relax when he's out with the rest of the furry gang.

Although, for Rigatoni's sake maybe help him out now and then so he's not trapped. That's stressful.

Oh good, because I worried it was some kind of dominance thing. Honestly just today, Mr J has been visiting the other cats but not lingering too long. I always try to pull him out from thr sofa, trust me

 

[linkworshiper]

Hi. You don't talk about how Rigatoni does with the other cats. Nor, did you say how old Mr. Jenkins is. And how much time was there between when Rigatoni came to your home and integrated with the other cats vs. Mr. Jenkins? What are the differences between Mr. Jenkins/Liam and Mr. Jenkins/Rigatoni? If Liam runs does Mr. Jenkins track him down like he does Rigatoni? All of these things play a role in the eventual relationship they will grow with each other overtime.

I think Mr. Jenkins may be trying to feel out who he can best dominate - he obviously knows he is not the alpha, and probably is aware he is 'last in line' in terms of joining your crew, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to dominate one or two of the others. It is good that Mr. J & Rigatoni have 'nice' time together, though. If the grooming is pretty much one way, it could be Mr. J's way to letting Rigatoni know 'who is in charge' between the two. Perhaps, Mr. J. wants a serious playmate, and he has chosen Rigatoni, despite the fact that Rigatoni isn't interested.

I do agree that you need to help Rigatoni out in these situations, just to let him know someone "has his back". As long as nothing heads into a serious fight, it will probably smooth out over time.

First sentence was that Rigatoni integrated well with the others. He loves to run he jump and play and nap with two in particular. When they first came home, at first they both lived in crates in the bedroom. Then rigatoni was eventually moved out of the bedroom in thr crate, and then just out. It has been about a month since Mr J had his tooth out and about three months since we first got him. Mr Jenkins does not focus on any of the other cats the way he focuses on Riggy. I think riggy is still a bit scared if Jenkins because of his pre extraction behavior but I agree that Mr Jenkins wants to play. I always try to touch rigatoni when Mr j is nearby.

 

[linkworshiper]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this morning, Mr Jenkins jumped on Rigatoni. They had crawled under another piece of furniture and it was tough pulling them out. My mom is visiting and is really unsure if we should keep Mr. Jenkins at all. She doesn't think it's fair to the other cats. This suggestion breaks my heart, though part of me knows she has a point. I just really have no idea what to do.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Sorry I missed your first sentence about Rigatoni's integration with the other cats. Maybe more time is needed to get Mr. J and Rigatoni into a more copacetic relationship - technically it has only been a month, so that isn't a real long time. And, unless I missed another sentence of yours, I didn't see where you said how old Mr. J is. The older Mr. J is the longer it might take.

If I understand correctly, it seems as if you feel things are going reasonably well with all of the cats, with the exception of just these two - especially if Liam seems to be doing better with Mr. J. So, it might be time to institute a 'correction' plan for Mr. J. That would mean intervening each and every time that he bothers Rigatoni, pick him up and either hiss in his face or tell him no (pick one) and place him in a 1–2-minute time out. The key to this approach working is consistency in order to get Mr. J to realize that bothering Rigatoni is a 'no-no'. This will also help Rigatoni's confidence as he knows that Mr. J is being told his behavior is not acceptable.

Sometimes, it just takes more work and a longer time to get certain cats to peacefully cohabitate. It all depends on your feelings about it all - vs. your mother - since you are/will be these cats' caretaker. If you feel it is still something you can try to work on, then I don't think you should let your mother influence you.

 

[linkworshiper]

Sorry I missed your first sentence about Rigatoni's integration with the other cats. Maybe more time is needed to get Mr. J and Rigatoni into a more copacetic relationship - technically it has only been a month, so that isn't a real long time. And, unless I missed another sentence of yours, I didn't see where you said how old Mr. J is. The older Mr. J is the longer it might take.

If I understand correctly, it seems as if you feel things are going reasonably well with all of the cats, with the exception of just these two - especially if Liam seems to be doing better with Mr. J. So, it might be time to institute a 'correction' plan for Mr. J. That would mean intervening each and every time that he bothers Rigatoni, pick him up and either hiss in his face or tell him no (pick one) and place him in a 1–2-minute time out. The key to this approach working is consistency in order to get Mr. J to realize that bothering Rigatoni is a 'no-no'. This will also help Rigatoni's confidence as he knows that Mr. J is being told his behavior is not acceptable.

Sometimes, it just takes more work and a longer time to get certain cats to peacefully cohabitate. It all depends on your feelings about it all - vs. your mother - since you are/will be these cats' caretaker. If you feel it is still something you can try to work on, then I don't think you should let your mother influence you.

Hi! Thanks again for your response. I personally feel that time is all it'll take, even if it goes for months, but my partner and my mom have become naysayers and "doubt" that Mr. Jenkins should remain with us. Which upsets me. Anyway, Mr. Jenkins is 5 and Rigatoni is 7. As far as their backgrounds, what I've pieced together is that Rigatoni was probably a street cat before the shelter got him because he was still intact at the time of adoption (he's snipped now) and has a kinky tail, like it was broken and didn't heal right. Mr. Jenkins, I'm theorizing once lived in a home because he knows what household things like the vacuum are (he is not a fan).

Mr. Jenkins loves attention from people, and when he's alone in the bedroom with us, he leaps around and cuddles whoever is there. When he comes out of the room, he moves very, very slowly. I can't tell if he's stalking or trying to make the other cats feel less alarmed by his approach. Last night, he was really good and visited all the other cats and then eventually walked away, including with Rigatoni. I have no idea why this morning, he decided to lose his marbles. It seems random. Whenever he does this, he gets a stern talking to and goes immediately back into the bedroom. When I can, I try to touch Rigatoni whenever Mr Jenkins is nearby, but this particular incident happened undreanth the sofa bed, which is new territory when the bed is deployed.

I feel like I can put the patience in, and I know my partner loves Mr J, though she tends to get nervous about making it work. But she's also nervous about.... breathing, so there's that. My mom is not a pet person. She keeps talking about getting one, and whenever I remind her of things like, 'Yeah, if you have a dog, doesn't matter if it's pouring rain, you still gotta walk it and you still pick up the poop.' Which always makes her cringe. In that vein, I don't think she knows how it feels to have a pet as family. I think she thinks I can just trade Mr. Jenkins out like he's a stuffy or something.

 

[Furballsmom]

My mom is visiting

This is probably why MJ got anxious and took it out on Riggie.

So, you have two people who aren't fans but also aren't knowledgeable about cats and that it can take some time, plus one doesn't live there (I get that this is your mom, but to be honest, her "vote" doesn't really count for that much here.)

though part of me knows she has a point.

Why is she commenting about the other cats, and you're agreeing? Are these flatout fights with loud wailing, lots of hissing and fur pulling between MJ and Riggie?

Even if so, can you stand firm about keeping him? In reading your posts, I'll throw out that it does sound as though he'd be good in a home without other cats.

 

[linkworshiper]

Yeah I’m trying not to be swayed by my mom. She also thinks we have too many cats So I think that is part of her narrative of getting rid of one. Ugh.

The fights are not like the play fights that happen with the other guys. There is hissing and screaming, scrambling, fear from Riggy. I agree Mr J might be happy in a home without cats, but that also makes me sad. Part of me is wondering if I should do a reverse thing and let one cat at a time into the bedroom with him, maybe starting with the cats he has no problem with?