New cat- Big trouble,,,Help!

[catuserfriendly]

Hello everyone!

  My husband was disabled a few years ago, and since he has a long history with cats and is good at bringing them up, we got 2 male tuxedo cats which, 2 years later have turned out perfectly behaved and extremely playful and friendly with anyone.

  Now, this is where the problem comes in. Our neighbor recently gave us her 6 month old female cat, and we have been following all the correct ways of integrating a new cat into an already cat occupied home. she is in the bedroom, comfortably with her own litter box, water, and food, even a fuzzy warm blanket to lay on. The problem with the integration is not our current cats, it is that she is attacking anyone that comes near her and doesn't seem to be adjusting to her new surroundings. I even go into the bedroom and talk to her, so she can get familiarized with my voice, and make slow, friendly move sat safe distances towards her, but she just hisses and growls and positions herself into an attack stance. I was thinking that maybe she was kicked in her previous home , but when I went over to see the cat a few times before I took her in, she was playful and friendly with me and the owners. It doesn't make sense.

After 2 days, we've reached about our limit and our expectations, that even if this cat is integrated into our home, she will destroy the calm balance we maintain in our home currently. We don't want to give up because if she acts like the way she is in a calm home like ours, then she will be deemed unadoptable and will be put down in NYC

My husband and I need to know if anyone has anything they can recommend ... This is becoming a very stressful situation for ourselves and for our cats.

Thank you for taking the time to read this..

 

[p3 and the king]

She sounds like a feral cat.  It can take time, lots of time.  Basically you have to let her come to you.  So your neighbor gave her to you but you don't know anything about her past?   My guess is that she was a rescued feral.  It's a pity your neighbor didn't keep her.  Ferals, if saved, tend to bond strongly with their rescuers and take lots of time with anyone else.  It will be an uphill battle for sure. But, I realize you've reached your limit. 

She would be deemed unadoptable by a shelter and at most, they are given only 3 days.  So it would be a death sentence for her.  Have you tried a Feliway diffuser in the bathroom?  It could help.  Maybe sit on the floor (her level) a few feet from her and just talk to her in a calm and soft voice?  Don't try to touch or approach her.  Just let her calm down and eventually come to you.  Let her pet you first.  With ferals, forcing yourself on her can make it worse.  Don't push her. 

I realize the bathroom isn't a great place to have her in for a long period of time.  Do you have another room she might use? An office maybe? 

Don't be discouraged if she doesn't come to you right away.  It will take time to earn her trusts.  Cats do not like change as a general rule.  I wish there were something else I could recommend but maybe someone will come on here with more ideas.  Good luck.

 

[hexiesfriend]

It maybe, that she feels threatened by your height. I rescued a similar type cat. I let her hide under the bed at first until she felt secure and protected by it. I then gradually began to try to touch her by laying on the floor and getting on her level and slowly putting my hand out for her to sniff at and get used to. If you have some catnip near your hand and she reacts to it that will give her some positive association. I then would try to inch my hands close to her and she eventually let me pet her. I think you probably need to get her out of the bathroom and under something before you can start the process because she is not feeling protected upon you approach by you, being in the bathroom. After a few months mine became a very sweet lap cat that never left my side it is true that they do become very loyal and affectionate friends.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Do you have a Feliway diffuser?  It might help to make her feel more calm.  Also Composure.  It comes in treat or liquid form.  It helps a cat to feel more calm. 

Two days is certainly not long enough to know if a cat can be integrated into your home.  I brought a feral/stray into my home in May 2013 and it took a solid year for him to adjust and get long with our other cat and large dog.  It takes daily work.  The cat needs to be socialized.  Also is this sweet girl spayed yet?  Has she been seen by a vet since you brought her home? 

 

[di and bob]

Days are nothing in cat time, it will surely take weeks before everyone is comfortable. I had one that took a year before everyone was comfortable. Give her a place high up she can retreat to, that helps. My Chrissy had a bed on top of the fridge. She too lashed out and charged, but eventually everyone found their order and calm returned. It's not unusual for females to lash out at males, the females I've had have always been aloof over the males, they are prima donnas and demand respect!  I think the 'calming treats found on Amazon might be a good idea for now too, they sure help me with vet visits. It sounds like everything is normal that is going on right now, unless there are active 'fights', I think everything will be fine, it just takes time. Good luck, please don't give up on her!

 

[reikitty]

It's time. She needs it. She's undergone a traumatic experience in her mind and she's scared. As others have said she's probably a rescued feral and she regressed to that state. She should return to a normal state but it will take time.

I foster kittens and adults so I have a constant influx of kitties and two days is really short time for a scared kitty. I have had several kitties that take several weeks. Typically though we take about a week with the more shy ones. 

Please give her as much time as you can, a kitty that goes feral like will be put down in a high kill shelter like they are in NYC. But give her a minimum of a week and hopefully you should start seeing improvement.

Pick up some Feliway I've seen that stuff do amazing things (I've also seen it do nothing too, but usually it works great). Get a shirt, blanket, pillowcase, something from her previous home that hasn't been washed and smells like home to her and give it to her. Some kitties need something that smells familiar to help settle down.  

Also keep visiting her, but stop approaching her. Shes feeling threatened and she needs to learn you're not a threat. When you feed her put the food in and ignore her, bring a book or something with you and just sit in there and read. Don't interact with her, just let her learn you're not a threat. As she starts responding you can start responding to her. You just need to teach her that you're the provider of food and not a scary monster. 

And when you go into the room she's in knock on the door and give her a second to hide before entering the room. This way she learns a knock always means you appear and you won't suddenly appear on her.

 

[p3 and the king]

To give you some hope... I rescued a semi feral last year.  My boyfriend and I did this together. We call her Luna.  So, we would leave food out for her and talk to her.  If we approached her, or move at all, she'd run even though the food was probably 50 feet from us.  So we would just let her eat.  It got to the point that she actually decided she liked us after a couple of months and would meow at the door for me to feed and visit with her.  She wouldn't run and would follow me to her dish, keeping distance so I couldn't touch her.  But she would meow back at me while I talked to her.  Pretty soon after that, she would sit with me, a few feet away, and just talk to me. 

After about a month of this, she finally approached me and brushed up against me!  I started crying with joy!!  Of course, I didn't make any sudden movements or sounds.  But I could finally pet her.  Then, about a month later, I opened my door and she walked in. 

She went to live with my boyfriend as she had a stronger bond with him than I and she seemed afraid of other cats.  Probably because the other 2 feral toms I feed were mean to her.  Anyway, slowly but surely she started accepting the rest of the house.  For quite awhile, she stuck to her own area and was friendly in her area but not so much the rest of the house   Then, she started taking over the rest of the house.... And the dogs.  She is queen bee now. 

Also another update is that its been like 10 months but a couple of months ago, she started really coming out of her shell with visitors and will approach them and be sweet.  She will even let them pet her.  And, he also got another cat and she gets along great with him, too.  This is amazing!!  Before, she always hid with visitors and we had resigned ourselves to being thankful for all the amazing progress she made but this was it, as good as it would get. 

It's a 2 step forward, 1 step back process much of the time, but it is possible, with patience and letting her set the pace and not trying to rush it. 

 

[yoohoora]

It sounds like she's going to need lots of time and patience.  When you go into the room, try lying on the floor by the bed and talk softly to her.  Offer her treats to see if she'll come out.  After doing this for a few days, try to engage her in play.  Get a teaser wand and see if she'll chase it.  If she gets some kind of payoff everytime you interact, she'll associate you with good things.  Just don't force it. 

You said you're introducing her the recommended way.  That's great.  It might take a few tries.  Don't give up.  It could take weeks, maybe months.  I'm still working on integrating my seven month old male kitten with my 15 year old resident female.  The kitten is aggressive at times.  I've tried to catify my apartment to get rid of territorial insecurity, which I've come to believe causes a lot of issues when introductions go bad.  Cats need to feel like they have ownership of territory to be happy and well adjusted. That means cat beds, cat trees, toys, scratchers, lots of different resource locations (litterbox, food and water), and cat perches near windows. 

There have been times where I've felt like giving up.  The screeching and constant scrapping is emotionally draining.  It is notoriously hard to introduce cats, but so worth it when you can pull it off.  It takes time and effort before you get the reward. 

Cats also pick up on the emotions humans give off.  If you're stressed out or frustrated, she'll pick up on it. 

Like others have suggested, Feliway diffusers can be very helpful.  They haven't really calmed down the kitten all that much, but it's helped calm down my older female...which helps calm down the kitten. 

I'd really work on bolstering your new kitty's self esteem by giving her vertical space and bonding with her.  If she's really skittish and fearful when she's let out with your other two cats, they might bully her.  If she has escape routes and can get off the ground, it will make it easier for all of them.

Just a few preventative steps.  Hope they help.  And good luck with your new kitty.  Please, give her time.  This introduction could take months, like it has with my kitten.  Well worth it, though.  I love that little cat.  His nickname is Kittenzilla.  hehe 

 

[furmonster mom]

Lots of really good advice here. 

The first thing I also thought of was Time. 

Two days is barely a blink.  Remember, they don't have the same sense of time that we do.  They don't break it down like we do by seconds/minutes/hours/days...  It's like with kids: there is "play time", "sleep time", "eat time"...  lather, rinse, repeat. 

 

[p3 and the king]

Has the OP only had her for 2 days?  That was not how I read it.  But, even so, I agree... 2 days is far too early to just give up!

 

[misterwhiskers]

What kind of music did her former owner listen to? Might sound odd, but when I rescued my kitty from the hoarders who had him, I found he really calmed down around 70s music stations. Turned out that's what they listened to. Might be a long shot, but what can it hurt?

 

[losna]

That's a good idea! Sinbad calms down when we play classical music. He's especially fond of Mozart. When we cared for my husband's grandmother's cat, smooth jazz worked really well for her.