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Hello cat enthusiasts!
My partner and I adopted a 2-year-old male cat about 3 months ago, thinking that my resident female cat (she's about 5) might want a buddy. She was first brought home with a buddy and the two became very close. She was incredibly down when he left and I thought it might be good for her to run and jump and play with another kitty again.
We tried to find a male that had a similar personality as the last male, thinking that might help the introductions (younger, playful, friendly). Our new cat matches that description, but my resident cat did not adjust well.
We've tried so many things at this point, we're at our wit's end. We kept them in separate rooms with separate supplies (water bowsl, toys, litter boxes, food etc.) for a long time and did scent swapping with socks rubbed on both cats' faces, placed next to bowls. Our new cat, Camus, quickly got tired of being stuck in one room (he desperately needs to be with people all the time) and starts to cry and rip up the carpet (instead of his scratching post) when he's left alone in there all night. Despite this, we wanted to give Aoife (the female) more space in the house, especially at night, to remind her that we are not infringing on her territory too much. She seems to appreciate it and is mostly happy when Camus is not present.
After spending several weeks rotating them (when one is out in the house, the other is in 'their' room), we tried supervised play and treats together in a neutral room. Aoife has a hard time being herself when he is present, and gets distracted trying to remain vigilant. He sometimes is distracted too, but mostly he just wants to play and eat.
After 2 months (and many, many setbacks) we decided to leave them both out, and try behaviour management techniques to supplement as per multiple sources' instructions.
However, he he frequently stares at her and 'stalks' her. He doesn't make a sound and doesn't bite or use his claws, but he's right up in her face and clearly not respecting her boundaries. He does the same thing with his toys-stalks them and jumps on them. She hisses, growls and swats at him to get him to listen, but this only works about 50% of the time. The rest of the time, we try to distract them or intervene when they get into angry staring contests. We spray water on him or over his head, and we drop a soft blanket on him to break up the stand-off.
For about 10 days this worked beautifully, and they left each other alone. But now we are moving, and things are stressful in the house (which we are trying to manage). Last night, with both of us home, and winding down to go to bed, Camus ran away from us, where we were trying to play with him, searched for Aoife, stalked her and attacked her. They fought in an angry ball for a few seconds and then dispersed when we clapped loudly and sprayed them with water. We put Camus in his room for the night to cool off, and gave Aoife the house.
We are extremely concerned at this point and worry that we are not the best home for Camus: As much as we love him and don't want to surrender him, it has been 3 months and Aoife deserves a happy, restful home.
Does anyone have any recommended next steps? As this is a painful process, please try to be kind with advice (we've gotten burned before).
Thanks and take care~
My partner and I adopted a 2-year-old male cat about 3 months ago, thinking that my resident female cat (she's about 5) might want a buddy. She was first brought home with a buddy and the two became very close. She was incredibly down when he left and I thought it might be good for her to run and jump and play with another kitty again.
We tried to find a male that had a similar personality as the last male, thinking that might help the introductions (younger, playful, friendly). Our new cat matches that description, but my resident cat did not adjust well.
We've tried so many things at this point, we're at our wit's end. We kept them in separate rooms with separate supplies (water bowsl, toys, litter boxes, food etc.) for a long time and did scent swapping with socks rubbed on both cats' faces, placed next to bowls. Our new cat, Camus, quickly got tired of being stuck in one room (he desperately needs to be with people all the time) and starts to cry and rip up the carpet (instead of his scratching post) when he's left alone in there all night. Despite this, we wanted to give Aoife (the female) more space in the house, especially at night, to remind her that we are not infringing on her territory too much. She seems to appreciate it and is mostly happy when Camus is not present.
After spending several weeks rotating them (when one is out in the house, the other is in 'their' room), we tried supervised play and treats together in a neutral room. Aoife has a hard time being herself when he is present, and gets distracted trying to remain vigilant. He sometimes is distracted too, but mostly he just wants to play and eat.
After 2 months (and many, many setbacks) we decided to leave them both out, and try behaviour management techniques to supplement as per multiple sources' instructions.
However, he he frequently stares at her and 'stalks' her. He doesn't make a sound and doesn't bite or use his claws, but he's right up in her face and clearly not respecting her boundaries. He does the same thing with his toys-stalks them and jumps on them. She hisses, growls and swats at him to get him to listen, but this only works about 50% of the time. The rest of the time, we try to distract them or intervene when they get into angry staring contests. We spray water on him or over his head, and we drop a soft blanket on him to break up the stand-off.
For about 10 days this worked beautifully, and they left each other alone. But now we are moving, and things are stressful in the house (which we are trying to manage). Last night, with both of us home, and winding down to go to bed, Camus ran away from us, where we were trying to play with him, searched for Aoife, stalked her and attacked her. They fought in an angry ball for a few seconds and then dispersed when we clapped loudly and sprayed them with water. We put Camus in his room for the night to cool off, and gave Aoife the house.
We are extremely concerned at this point and worry that we are not the best home for Camus: As much as we love him and don't want to surrender him, it has been 3 months and Aoife deserves a happy, restful home.
Does anyone have any recommended next steps? As this is a painful process, please try to be kind with advice (we've gotten burned before).
Thanks and take care~
