new aggression and am I doing this wrong?

[calvin&i]

Calvin and Hobbes have recently started biting the back of each other's neck (the nape) and practically mounting the other. Both of them do this. I understand that this is sexual aggression and I am trying to do whatever I can to minimize tension at home. I have 2 feliway diffusers running and am using the spray too but I do not see much effect. Yesterday, I was looking online and it seems that gentle scruffing may be appropriate for this. I do not tend to bother much when they wrestle or chase each other like crazy but I understand that this is different. So I looked at videos and very gently scruffed Calvin today when he was "mounting" Hobbes. I was extremely gentle but then I let go very fast and Calvin moved and the hissed at me a few times and was mad. After that Hobbes was going at Calvin and I again, very gently scruffed him and he did not show his displeasure like Calvin but then after a while was again at Calvin. What should I do in this situation? Hobbes has multiple health issues and I would like the home to be as conflict-free as possible. Is it ok to scruff them? What else can to do to keep this sort of sexual aggression to a minimum?

Background: Calvin and Hobbes, though had a rocky start, came to be buddies. They are both 1 year old neutered males. I have not been able to figure out if one is the alpha but if I am forced to choose, I'd say it's Calvin. Hobbes arrived later and during the intro phase took a lot of beating from Calvin. Calvin has always been jealous and hates it if we play with Hobbes and he wants whatever toy Hobbes is playing with and attacks Hobbes if he finds Hobbes getting cuddles from us. In fact if Hobbes sees Calvin coming into the room when he's on top of us kneading, he promptly gets off the bed. We make special time for Hobbes for play and love. We also always come home and pay attention to Calvin first. To us, we are giving them equal attention. They lick each other and often times when Hobbes has an asthma attack, Calvin will gently lick his forehead after and also he nicer to him then. They do not cuddle as much as they used to, though.

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

My two boys have just started doing this same behavior you are describing, but they are both 2 1/2 years old, and were both neutered when they were about 3 months old. I don't understand how this can be sexual aggression for them? Was hoping others would pop in here and make some comments, but I see that isn't happening.

Anyway, when it happens here, we just say "enough already", and they stop, at least for the time being. But it happens at least once a day. Has me baffled, but I can always tell when it's going to start, because one will come up to the other, always on the back of the couch, and then I'll start hearing very faint little "eeps", until one will kind of let out a loud scream and immediately pounce on the other and bite his neck.

 

[callista]

Well... I'm not sure, but are you sure it's aggressive? I mean, could they just be playing at sex just like they play at fighting? If there are gay sheep and gay dogs, why not cats? Weird concept, especially since feline mating isn't romantic in the least and they're neutered on top of that... still...

Re. scruffing cats: Yes, but don't lift them or pull them by their scruffs. That can hurt a cat bigger than kitten-size. I find that holding them by the scruff is a good way to calm them down and keep them still. If they are in a full-fledged fight, though, it's better to just throw a blanket over them so you can stay away from the claws.

 

[calvin&i]

The only reason I termed it sexual aggression is because I was googling it and it seems that's what it might be and it can apparently happen with neutered males. It seems to be an attempt at dominance. From what I read is that it's not really a male on male sexuality kind of thing but because that's kind of the "mating" action? This is definitely very different from their otherwise wrestling chasing play fights. Here there's biting of the neck+mounting, Biting belly etc.
As far as scruffing goes, I did not lift them the time I did it. Was more like holding the scruff and slowly and gently pushing them towards the floor and they very quicky seemed rather submissive. Only after I left that Calvin hissed.

 

[callista]

It could be a dominance thing. Like--"I'm top cat; I can hold you down." Maybe they're scuffling for alpha-cat position. Tiny occasionally tries to mount Christy (both are fixed), but she won't have it--she's telling him that he will have to keep to himself and that his behavior is not allowed. They've divided the territory quite peacefully, with Christy taking more of the upper areas and Tiny more of the floor. Neither is truly the dominant cat in my household; each one owns some things and not others.

Are they hurting each other? Because, if not, I really wouldn't worry about it--it seems pretty harmless, as far as kitty scuffles go.