Nervous About Adopting Second Cat

bluebird gal · Dec 8, 2013

Literally .. could not sleep last night!

This afternoon we are going to look at, with a kitteh carrier in hand, several potential new members to our family at an awesome, local shelter. We have pretty much been approved, in writing, as an adoptive couple.

There will be 5 black, neutered males ranging from 3mos to 6mos available and we hope to be chosen by one. Last weekend, we purchased "new" kitten's own litter box, litter, toys, bed, scent-exchanging blanket and yummy treats for everyone.

We have been very happy with our interactions with the shelter. It is a true no-kill shelter, and all of the kittens live with and are very socialized to cats of various ages, primarily teens and young adults, so we're hoping that will be a bonus for us as we slowly introduce him to our main man Si, who at 17mos is a young adult.  Additionally, all of their cats have been tested negative for feline aids and feline leukemia, are neutered/spayed, have all age-appropriate vaccinations, and have also been microchipped.

We are very hopeful, after reading and re-reading, all of the great information here that we will be able to integrate the two in a proper manner even though we have limited space living in an RV.   Since Si is used to traveling, he is used to "his things" litterbox and all, being in random places temporarily and it never phases him. So we hope that the regular swapping of rooms and things between the two for the time it takes won't cause him too much distress. We have been pouring the loving, and playtime on Si the last couple of weeks, talking about him becoming a big brother and will continue to make sure he knows he's Top Cat.

I suppose it's normal for single cat household owners to feel more stressed than their cat who has no idea what may be coming home with us?    On one hand I worry it's just "me" who thinks Si would be better off with a friend and playmate, and that feels somewhat selfish since he's been the only cat for 9mos now.   However, I honestly do worry that when we work part time that he might be lonely and enjoy a friend. We rescued him when he was running with an pack of ferals, so I've always wondered if he misses his companions even though I realize cats don't think in such human terms.

Wish us luck!!   And of course, if the right little man chooses us today .. I will be back once everyone is settled in .. with pix!

katluver4life · Dec 8, 2013

Wow ....awesome news! How exciting!

Yes it is quite natural to be nervous, but it sounds like you are well prepared.

Remember to go slowly. It can take several weeks at times, but I know in the end it'll be worth it! Good luck and DO keep us posted!

bluebird gal · Dec 8, 2013

My .. oh .. my. So hard to get a pic when they are new to you and their new home. This little bundle was just as calm and relaxed as they come. He has been a purring machine since we walked into the 'Teen Room' at the shelter. He is roughly 4mos old and has golden eyes. He was just a ton of cuddles and whirring once we started showing an interest in him. Soooooo hard not to take them all! The shelter had named him Monty and we're not quite sure if it will stick or not .. but for now HEEEERRRREEE's Monty!

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bluebird gal
Dec 8, 2013
1

When we came into the house, we did let Si look at him in the carrier for about a minute, minute and a half, while holding the carrier above him. He heard him meow a few times and we went straight to the back of the house. I removed the scent exchange blanket and brought it back in here for Si who, of course, sniffed if from one end to the other and seems rather uninterested.

Our bathroom door has an approx. 1/2in gap at the bottom and Si can both see, and hear him. He has just sat next to the door looking, no hissing, no meowing and his tail is twitching a little, but more in the 'interested' realm rather than agitated even though he can hear him meowing back there and playing around.

Si hung out at the door for about 5min before resuming his stalking of birds out the window. And has now been back several times to look under the crack. I have run my fingers under the door to get Monty to play paws, and although Si is not interested in joining the fun yet he was intently watching and occasionally giving very calm tail swishes.

katluver4life · Dec 9, 2013

Oh my goodness, what a beautiful boy!

This sounds like a great start!

Because Si seems calm and curious, the intro's may go fairly quickly, but don't be tempted to rush it. Immediately start feeding them both near the closed door to help them learn to associate good feelings accompany these new smells. Of course keep up the scent exchanges, refreshing scents frequently.

Keep keeping us posted!

bluebird gal · Dec 9, 2013

All the reading in the world here can't replace instant advice on behavior so what does everyone think ... go slower, or slowly forward.

1. Throughout the afternoon each of us played hard with the kitten in the back of the house while the other sat up front with Si petting and reassuring him what a great big brother he's going to be. Even with all Si's favorite toys in the front of the house, Si has a toy attention span of about 1min right now ... so he can go back and stare under the door.

2. After the kitten's nap and meal, we cracked the door so they could make eye contact just to get a feel for Si's curiousness in Monty. Boy howdy did Si give us a talking to! Still no hissing.   Monty was not phased by Si's discussion. Si is very vocal anyhow so it's hard to explain. Not an outright growl, but a low (what I believe to be) wwuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr kind of vocalization with quite a bit of chattering in there. We closed the door and I distracted Si by playing with 'da Bird until he went back to window/bird patrol.

3. Mid-evening I had George pick up Monty and walk into the front of the house. Si never noticed he was holding Monty as he was wild to get to the back and smell around.   He immediately went to Monty's litterbox, got in it, scratched around and gave a long hiss.

4. I was back there with him letting him exploring the scent blanket, and Monty's new bed that he napped in. Once again, after smelling the bed from one end to the other he gave a long hiss.    I distracted him by playing with his laser pointer all up and around the new bed, and new toys.

5. Before bedtime, we once again sat on either side of the door and let the two see each other. Si went back to telling Monty (and us I presume) what's what. When Monty meowed and came a little closer to the door cracked opened, Si gave a few more hisses and raised his wwuuuuuuur'ing noise a decibel or two.    This time Monty bristled up into a huge ball, ears flat back. Too much stress so we closed the door, and George played out Monty and he hit the hay.

We are also trying small spurts of using a cat dancer toy run under the door. Si has attempted to grab his side of it, but jumps if the kitten attacks his side of it behind the door.   And we have several 'da Bird toys we're doing the same thing with. Running them under the door to see if the kitteh on the other side will play.   In the morning at mealtime we are going to stretch the scent blanket beneath the door and see if they will eat that close to one another without distressing Si too much.   As we expected, Monty is unphased by and quite interested in Si, having been raised and kept with a ton of other cats up to 2.5yrs old.   We hope, with baby steps and more time, we'll have our Main Man feeling the same.

And I must say, although Si will always be Momma's Boy and the top cat in our household -- I forgot what an enormous difference there is between 8mos old (Si's approx. age when we rescued him) and Monty being 4mos old. Monty is a little wild man in comparison when it comes to playing with toys. LOL   He is quickly stealing his Daddy's heart because he is such a cuddle bug.

We really, really want this to be a good bond so all input is very much appreciated!

bluebird gal · Dec 9, 2013

Little Monty took to his new snuggly bed right away.

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bluebird gal
Dec 9, 2013

bluebird gal · Dec 9, 2013

Well .. under extremely cautious steps and watching them both like a hawk .. we have what I consider 'acceptance' or at least a positive understanding that Monty is here to stay, at this point by our main man Si. Certainly not physically playing with each other yet, but you can tell little Monty would really like to. Si has hovered over him, walked on the back of the couch above him, stuck his face around the corner of a door to watch him eat, etc. Si did seem a bit tense when Monty decided to step into the big boy litter box, scratched around and to all three of our surprise relived himself

Si is still talking to Monty quite a bit, but he has tolerated being in the same room with him, off and on, all day. Only hissing 5-6 times when Monty, chasing a toy, approached too quickly. And Monty is totally respecting Si's rumbling and/or hiss and wandering off in search of one of us instead. Si is behaving normally in every other way with both George and I. He is certainly still eating, using his litterbox and semi-playing with his favorite toys. Way more interested in the meows and explorations of Monty and retracing every step Monty takes but far behind him.

Currently Monty is curled up on a blanket on the couch napping and Si is curled up on his favorite window perch also cat napping. Obviously we have quite a ways to go before they are actually playing with one another but we're happy to see the tolerance in our older boy thus far.

nocturnal · Dec 9, 2013

Bluebird Gal said:
I suppose it's normal for single cat household owners to feel more stressed than their cat who has no idea what may be coming home with us? On one hand I worry it's just "me" who thinks Si would be better off with a friend and playmate, and that feels somewhat selfish since he's been the only cat for 9mos now. However, I honestly do worry that when we work part time that he might be lonely and enjoy a friend. We rescued him when he was running with an pack of ferals, so I've always wondered if he misses his companions even though I realize cats don't think in such human terms.

I was in a similar situation, my big cat is a former stray as well and she was the sole owner of the apartment for three years. I thought she would like having a tiny friend and added a 2 month old kitty...the result was sheer and utter chaos. The big cat did not take to the little one as I hoped but instead hissed, growled, hissed some more, gave chase, and frequently pawed the kitty. A little over a month has passed and while the situation has improved it is far from satisfactory.

I suspect ex-ferals are harder to introduce to new cats. They are used to fighting for turf and food and new cats in their territory are immediately considered enemies and threats to be curbed.

bluebird gal · Dec 10, 2013

Nocturnal said:
I was in a similar situation, my big cat is a former stray as well and she was the sole owner of the apartment for three years. I thought she would like having a tiny friend and added a 2 month old kitty...the result was sheer and utter chaos. The big cat did not take to the little one as I hoped but instead hissed, growled, hissed some more, gave chase, and frequently pawed the kitty. A little over a month has passed and while the situation has improved it is far from satisfactory.

I suspect ex-ferals are harder to introduce to new cats. They are used to fighting for turf and food and new cats in their territory are immediately considered enemies and threats to be curbed.

Sorry to hear there was so much tension between the two Nocturnal. I've been worried sick about choosing what I think is the right personality to fit Si's overall demeanor. While our boy was 'running' the levee banks with a pack of feral cats, even the vet we took him to so we could address a bite wound he had, said that Si was definitely a dumper versus feral. Si has never met a stranger, people or dogs, so he apparently had a life somewhere until he became inconvenient I suppose.

As an update to our ongoing integration here: I think last night when Monty went airborn after 'da Bird and landed practically on Si's rear end .. the ice was broken and now the chase is on. Si is cautiously now galloping behind Monty when he takes off on a crazy kitten spurt. And Monty has opened up into galloping after Si when he bolts to another room. They are both inspecting each others business, so to speak, when they use their respective litter boxes. And so far, since they have both had us up since 3:45am ..lol.. they have stalked one another thru the crinkle tube, play with 'da Bird .. but individually rather than diving for it together, and also had a few good spurts of chase through the house. Once they stopped playing chase, they semi-circled one another and touched noses ever so briefly. Si did hiss once at him as he turned to walk away but I still think it's a pretty big step to touch noses.

We are still feeding Si separately from Monty as we're only 3 days in now, and don't want Monty getting into Si's wet food yet until we can slowly transition him over to a wet kitten food.

nocturnal · Dec 10, 2013

Seems like you're doing the right thing. My big cat also was a housecat at one point, I know because she still had a collar with a tiny bell around her neck when she was found. Not to mention she would approach me, cautionally but still, when I fed her on the streets. But she did pick up some feral habits and will trust no one other than myself.

As for the new cat's personality, I've reached the conclusion that no matter what kind of new cat I got the big one was bound to disapprove. But I wish I had waited a bit longer instead of getting a 2 month old who is crazy and knows no boundaries! I was under the impression that if I got a very young kitty my big cat would adopt it...let's just say it didn't work

bluebird gal · Dec 10, 2013

It does appear to be going a bit better than I expected. I'm still learning more here daily, trying to reassure myself that the signs I'm seeing from Si are generally in line with others' experience. I do wonder - and please chime in with your experience too - about some of Si's audibles overall when in the same room as Monty.

He has always had what I call the 'Song of my People' - he has an extremely loud MRRROOOWW, MRRROOOWW when at dusk. And sometimes over birds out the window so I'm used to that one. Sounds almost like what I would expect if he were intact and a female was near.

I think I pretty much understand the growly noise he made, and of course, continues to make towards Monty even though it has lessened a lot after the first time being in the same room together. More like a low deep WWRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Some is just walking past each other. A few times that the kitten has explored an area - like either of the two kitty window hammocks - which were formally Si's space alone.

I certainly understand the hiss and when Si has issued that warning one of us asks him if he is being a good big brother or just call his name normally, not shouting. This seems to distract him and Monty appears to be taking that moment to go try to play with a toy or wander off elsewhere. I'm hoping that's a good sign that the orders of hierarchy are being stated by Si and that Monty understands all that. Monty seems totally unphased .. unless Si hisses right in his face.

And Si has swatted at him a couple of times now, but from all appearances while watching, didn't even make contact with Monty. Of course, Si has also swatted at Monty's stuffed animal and his bed to see what they were. But when Monty snuck around a recliner and jumped on Si's tail he got what I would consider a Boop to the top of the head. Monty didn't cry out so I can only assume it was a harmless swat.

I just hope, and will do all necessary, to see them turn out enjoying each other in the long run. I've been a nervous wreck since the adoption Sunday morning and would LOVE to have a nap like both these boys continue to take