Neither of my cats cuddle with me

[LannyLC]

Neither of my two cats cuddle with me and I’m beginning to take it personally. I really feel down about it. First rescue, Lil Cat has almost been with me for 2 years and second rescue, Lanny has been with me three months. They are getting along quite well. Lil Cat just wants to play so I try to give her 15 minutes each morning and night. She’ll sometimes lie on my chest at night. Lanny loves his food and sleep and he allows me to scratch behind his ears. I hold him standing up for a brief while each day. I get down on lvg room floor to be with them with the toys etc.
Do I just need to be patient and let these critters figure each other out before they become lap cats. It’s a little ironic I rescued two cats but neither are cuddly. Friday nights after a hard week it just feels like we’re all co-existing under this roof.

 

[Furballsmom]

Do I just need to be patient and let these critters figure each other out

Yes, and things should work out eventually since Lil Cat is already lying on your chest

 

[Maria Bayote]

Give them time, but note that not all cats are lap cats.

I have a suspicion though that Lil Cat will be more of a cuddler and a lap cat than Lanny.

 

[Katie M]

Like the others said, it will take time. It was a whole year before Charlie cuddled with me. He still doesn't do it on a regular basis, but I treasure each and every time.

 

[Tata54]

I have had an abandoned cat for 3 years now. Her name is Callie. She is not a lap cat and I honestly don’t think she ever will be. Not even on my chest. She likes her attention, follows me everywhere and sits on the arm of my chair to be petted and scratched. In fact she demands it. But on my lap? Not gonna happen. Lol. Like you I wanted her to cuddle with me but have come to realize that may never happen. Yet she shows her love for me in many other ways. Some cats are just not lap cats.

 

[Tik cat's mum]

Some cat's just aren't lap cat's. But lying on your chest sounds like a good start. One of my daughters cat's will not sit on laps but is happy to sit next to you and enjoys a good ear rub.

 

[Tata54]

Your daughters cat sounds like Callie to a T.

 

[LannyLC]

Ohhhh you guys have really lifted my spirits thank you so much for posting and sharing the stories of your cats. It’s made me feel so much better to know it can take some cats a long time or even that some cats just aren’t lap cats or cuddlers.

 

[Furballsmom]

lifted my spirits

I'm glad

 

[lucicat]

My two shelter kittens are not lap cats (yet). One will walk on my chest and demand pets, the other will lay at my head or sometimes under my arm when I’m in bed. But never my lap. Never!
so who knows. But I do know they show love and I show mine in other ways than lap cuddles.

 

[She's a witch]

I think that some people that want lap cats don’t really know what it means and how impractical and painful (bladder!, muscles stiffness) it can be. My boy loves spending almost all of his time on my laps and this is really difficult as I feel mostly guilty for having to move him to do anything at home. Yeah, it’s nice and stuff, but terribly impractical and filled with guilt. But there is some advantage: he’s not small and doesn’t really fit on my thighs, so I have a great excuse to put on weight to accommodate his needs!
My girl, however, very occasionally cuddles, usually at night, she comes to snuggle with me under the cover. I feel so happy and chosen then and I don’t mind being woken up at all because it’s so rare and special. She’s recently hopped on my husband’s lap and curled to sleep there like it was a normal thing - it never happened before - she’s almost 3yo- and we were so shocked. It was in the morning and obviously there was no way he would move her, so he didn’t go to the office that day - his boss totally understood the importance of the event

 

[LannyLC]

Thanks for extra responses, lucicat and She's a Witch. I take your point about being careful what you wish for re lap cats.

I think I'm feeling a little sad generally and can't expect my cats to 'be there' for me LOL. If it's permitted, I'd like to share my mom passed away over 5 years ago and Xmas is when I miss her the most. We traveled together, shared same spirituality and generally I loved her so much. When she passed away, my life permanently altered. I knew the remainder of my time on earth would not be as satisfying. She was joy and sorrow and wisdom and compassion. One time I took her to Mexico for her 75th and the first night she slapped on a sombrero and poncho and yelled "get in here, let's get a picture". That pretty much sums up this fun-loving, adventurous soul who loved her kids with such a pure good love. My dad had bi-bolar yet he was brilliant. He traipsed us all over the world with his 7 languages and penchant for the ladies while mom raised us. If I had one hero in life, it is her. Thanks for letting me share.

 

[Furballsmom]

Thanks for letting me share.

Thank for sharing about her, she sounds like she really was fabulous!

 

[LannyLC]

Thanks Furballsmom, and for all your support. Immediately after typing about my mom, a dear co-worker treated me to coffee and we laughed so much about all her fun stories. Life is good.

 

[duncanmac]

I have had an abandoned cat for 3 years now. Her name is Callie. She is not a lap cat and I honestly don’t think she ever will be. Not even on my chest. She likes her attention, follows me everywhere and sits on the arm of my chair to be petted and scratched. In fact she demands it. But on my lap? Not gonna happen. Lol. Like you I wanted her to cuddle with me but have come to realize that may never happen. Yet she shows her love for me in many other ways. Some cats are just not lap cats.

My former-feral is like this, but in the last month or so he has become noticeably more affectionate and will spend the night pressed up against me (and readjust when I move). I know part of this is the colder weather, but I would like to think he is finally relaxing and trusting us. We have had him close to three years now and at first I doubted I would get to pet him much but he is slowly getting to the lap cat stage.

I think what's important for him is that he knows he can get away and I won't grab at or chase him. If I bend down to pet him and he runs away - that's it. I stay put for a little while but then I go about my business. Now, a lot of times he will startle and pull back but then stop and relax.

Just give them time.