Needy new kitten and resident cat

[nickytoby]

Back in July my partner and I adopted a one and a half year old female cat, Nicky. She is our first cat and was very easy to settle in; no behavioral problems and very laid back and all round an absolutely lovely personality! We adopted Nicky from a shelter. She was there with three kittens, all about four months old. Two months later, the kittens were still at the shelter, and, having decided to adopt a second cat, we decided it made sense to take on one of Nicky's kittens, now around six months old.

We've now had the new cat, Toby, a week. Unfortunately, Nicky hasn't taken too kindly to us taking on Toby - whenever she catches sight of him she hisses and growls, and she has also hit him with her paw. She has also been quite aloof with me and my partner and sometimes moves away when we try to pet her. She has also had some episodes of pooing and weeing outside her litter tray, although we seem to have solved his by moving it. We've tried the usual cat introduction tactics such as getting them to eat either side of an ajar door but I don't feel we're making amazing progress. Toby doesn't seem bothered by Nicky hissing at him; every time he sees her he wants to go over and say hello and is quite unafraid, even if she hits him with her paw.

The other problem we have is that Toby is both clingy and nervy; he runs away from us when he sees us but when we calm him down he is very loving and can't get enough of our attention. When we have to shut him in a room (which we do at night, and we also have to separate him and Nicky in the day qwhile we are at worl) he meows and cries incessantly. I'm sure part if this is becuse he is a young cat, but I am questioning if we are the right home for Toby, as we are both out at work from 8.30-4pm everyday and can't give him the attention I think he needs, which is even harder to give because we have to keep him apart from Nicky - unfortunately the geography of our house means that whichever cat is confined just gets shut in a room, rather than having several to roam.

Does anyone have any tips of advice in this situation? Are we the wrong owners for a cat of Toby's age? I imagine having a such a young cat is always hard, but is it too much for us given that we are also handling reintroducing him to his mum? Any words much appreciated!

 

[shadowsrescue]

First question, are both cats spayed and neutered?  This will make a huge difference in their behavior.

Second question, how many litter boxes do you have?  The golden rule is one per cat plus one extra.  That means you need 3 boxes.  Ideally the boxes should be uncovered and large enough.  I like to use sterlite under the bed boxes.  They are about 25" long by 18" wide by 5" deep.  Make sure the litter is deep enough.  Also be sure litter boxes are cleaned daily. 

Cat to cat intros can take awhile.  Even though this is her kitten, Nicky has established her territory.  When introducing a new cat it can take weeks to months to longer.  Yet, it takes time and patience.  You being at work all day will slow the process, but it's not impossible.  I do believe the cats would really keep each other company, you just need to work with them in the evening and lots on the weekends.  The introduction process is more than just feeding on opposite sides of the door.  If there is growling, hissing or posturing, you are moving too quickly.  Back up and wait.

When I introduced a feral/stray into my home 2 years ago, it was torture.  Yet, I learned a lot along the way.  One success was to get a large dog crate.  You can then place one cat inside the crate and allow the other cat to sniff around on the outside.  YOu might start by covering the cage with a sheet on 3 sides.  Offer a yummy treat reward to both cats the entire time.  Start by doing this for just a minute or two.  Then switch cats or end the session.  You want to always end on a positive note.  Do this multiple times each day.

When working with Toby, he needs to learn some socialization skills.  Try the process of hunt, catch, kill, eat groom, sleep.  You want a great interactive toy such as a da bird wand toy or other wand toy or a laser pointer.  You really want to get him moving.  The key is for him to hunt, catch and kill the toy.  This will boost his confidence and really tire him out.  Next you want to offer something yummy to eat to satisfy the "eat".  This should be an extra special treat such a plain cooked chicken, canned tuna or salmon or even a small meal.  Next, he might groom himself and then sleep.  You can do this with both cats separately. 

When you are home try taking turns allowing Toby some time out and about and put Nicky away for a bit.  Or have your partner spend time with one cat and you the other.  Do you have any vertical space?  You can use a cat tree or even shelving.  Take a look at Jackson Galaxy's site and look for his Catification ideas.  Often one cat will like being up high ( tree dweller) and another cat lower (bush dweller).  The vertical space will allow one cat to get up and away and have his/her own space.

Remember this will all take time.  My two took one solid year to accept each other.  I too had to put one away most of the day and also at night.  He hated it.  A few things that helped:  feliway diffusers and Composure liquid max.  The diffusers will help both cats, but you need more than one.  You need them in all of the rooms where the cats spend time.  The composure is a non sedating calming liquid that might help Toby at night.  It also comes in treat formula, but many cats don't like the treats very well.  The liquid is easy to mix into wet food.

Not sure if you have seen this video or articles on cat to cat intros. 

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/the-ultimate-yet-simplified-guide-to-introducing-cats

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/introducing-your-cat-new-cat

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2010/10/01/cat-to-cat-introductions/

 

[nickytoby]

@ShadowsRescue Thanks so much for the pointers - it was really reassuring to read your list as we really were questioning having a second cat on Friday. You're right that we were probably moving too quickly.

To answer your questions, both Nicky and Toby are neutered, so no problems there. We have three litter trays in different rooms, so should not be a problem. We did have one incidentof a litter tray not being used this weekend, but I think that was due to it not being clean enough rather than any distress.

I do feel like we've made progress this weekend with the two cats (helped by your list, especially in terms of rewarding good behaviour with treats, which we weren't doing enough of). The biggest plus if course has been that as it's a weekend we've been able to give the cats more of our time. We've given Toby more freedom which has decreased his crying/meowing and had helped burn off his energy. The cats have also eaten peacefully with each other nearby. Toby had unfortunately urinated on our bed, not sure why as he had access to a clean letter tray, but we expected some mishaps given the extra freedom.

We're not there yet but I certainly feel encouraged. Thanks for your words of advice!