Not sure what to do. I'm feeling so many things. I mentioned back in '09 in a thread about my mom, my babysitter's son molesting me. I've repressed a lot of what happened. My husband doesn't really know much about it. I've never been able to verbalize what exactly happened.
The other night, after an intimate evening with my husband, I opened up to him a little more about it, about why I couldn't do certain things. Then I started thinking about my abuser. I remembered his first name, but not his last. I asked my mom's friend, because her kids went there sometimes. I started obsessively searching for him on Facebook, no luck. I found someone I thought might be him, but I didn't have the nerve to send a message and his profile was private. I also searched for his family; sister, brother, parents. No luck. I don't know why I'm doing this!!!
Tonight, I searched again on FB, I found that guy again and sent a message asking if he was from Haysville before I could chicken out. Then, it occurred to me to search Myspace. I found the same guy, different profile settings. From Haysville. I don't know why I'm doing this. I feel sick. I want to say things to him. I want him to know he's a sick freak. He almost broke me, but he didn't. He took advantage of a FIVE-YEAR OLD GIRL. I hate him. I don't know what to do about this.
The other night, after an intimate evening with my husband, I opened up to him a little more about it, about why I couldn't do certain things. Then I started thinking about my abuser. I remembered his first name, but not his last. I asked my mom's friend, because her kids went there sometimes. I started obsessively searching for him on Facebook, no luck. I found someone I thought might be him, but I didn't have the nerve to send a message and his profile was private. I also searched for his family; sister, brother, parents. No luck. I don't know why I'm doing this!!!
Tonight, I searched again on FB, I found that guy again and sent a message asking if he was from Haysville before I could chicken out. Then, it occurred to me to search Myspace. I found the same guy, different profile settings. From Haysville. I don't know why I'm doing this. I feel sick. I want to say things to him. I want him to know he's a sick freak. He almost broke me, but he didn't. He took advantage of a FIVE-YEAR OLD GIRL. I hate him. I don't know what to do about this.