Well, I haven't written about it much here, but the past several months have been a horrible fight with depression, anxiety, insomnia, medications, doctors, etc. It wasn't something that I felt right about posting here, and the illness itself had such a hold on me, focusing on anything wasn't easy.
There is finally a concrete diagnosis (Bipolar II), the symptoms are being treated, and I am beginning to feel human again. (Although it scares me to be labeled with a "mood disorder" that has quite the social stigma attached to it.) It means I'm taking way more medication than I ever have, but the realization that it is necessary hit me pretty hard.
Anyway, during this time, I have managed to put on at least 25 pounds.
Ugh!! I am so disgusted that I can't even talk about that!
Yesterday, I decided it's time to fight back, and dragged out the treadmill. They always say exercise is helpful when fighting depression, right? Oh. My. Gosh. I am so out of shape, and so sore, but so determined to keep this going.
I lost almost 30 pounds on that stupid thing a year ago, surely I can do it again. It's too cold to walk outside, and too rural. Besides, if I'm on it, I know my feet have to keep moving, or I'll fall on my face. Makes for some great motivation when you know there could be pain involved, let me tell you!
So, as much as I feel like a hamster, I'm using the treadmill. At least I'll be a thinner hamster!
Thanks all for listening, I guess I finally just needed to get the other stuff off my chest, as well as ask for some support during this treadmill hell! And, since TCS is one of the best places for vibes and support that I have ever seen, where else would I go?!
There is finally a concrete diagnosis (Bipolar II), the symptoms are being treated, and I am beginning to feel human again. (Although it scares me to be labeled with a "mood disorder" that has quite the social stigma attached to it.) It means I'm taking way more medication than I ever have, but the realization that it is necessary hit me pretty hard.
Anyway, during this time, I have managed to put on at least 25 pounds.
Yesterday, I decided it's time to fight back, and dragged out the treadmill. They always say exercise is helpful when fighting depression, right? Oh. My. Gosh. I am so out of shape, and so sore, but so determined to keep this going.
I lost almost 30 pounds on that stupid thing a year ago, surely I can do it again. It's too cold to walk outside, and too rural. Besides, if I'm on it, I know my feet have to keep moving, or I'll fall on my face. Makes for some great motivation when you know there could be pain involved, let me tell you!
So, as much as I feel like a hamster, I'm using the treadmill. At least I'll be a thinner hamster!
Thanks all for listening, I guess I finally just needed to get the other stuff off my chest, as well as ask for some support during this treadmill hell! And, since TCS is one of the best places for vibes and support that I have ever seen, where else would I go?!