Need help with two rehomed kittens.

[Kittycatlady819]

Let me preface by saying my husband and I recently lost our beautiful 4 year old cat Chloe and we’re not sure if accepting new cats into our home was a good idea however we are so full of love we figured we might as well try…

My husband and I recently were on a local pet rehoming Facebook group when we saw a girl rehoming two kittens that she claimed to be of the same age, from the same litter, and bonded. My husband and I saw them and instantly were interested in welcoming them into our home. The woman claimed she bottle fed these two since they were born and they were excellent cats always wanting love and cuddles.. we were thrilled until we arrived to a filthy home which stunk highly of cat pee and had dog feces on the floor. The woman said the reason for the rehoming was due to the kittens being afraid of her “new” dog…

Anyway, once we arrived at the house we quickly realized the kittens were NOT the same age and one I significantly bigger than the other.Both are intact females which I knew already prior, I have every intention of getting them vaccinated and spayed ASAP.

I understand moving is stressful for all cats and we have taken a great liking to the smaller of the two kittens and she has taken/warmed up to us nicely. Our bigger concern is the larger cat. When she first arrived she hid from us and would not come out for the first two days. We tried to lay down and speak with her but she hissed at my husband and I, lunged at us, and then scratched me pretty badly at one point. So we left her alone and in the week we’ve had her she has come around and will let us get closer to her and sit near us. She will even come into our bedroom and get near us when we’re sleeping or not moving and watching tv. However if we move suddenly, cough, or even sigh she will dart but eventually come back again. I sit with her almost every night in the same room a distance away and feed her and talk to her and sometimes. I want her to be comfortable with us as her previous owner had finally admitted “She has an attitude problem. I can be petting her one minute and the next she is hissing”. I feel as if I knew that I would not have accepted the cat as she blatantly lied to me.

Now that the cat is semi adjusted to my husband and I, she redirects her aggression toward the other smaller cat. She doesn’t always hiss at her or growl but there are many times during the day that she will. She also often hisses and growls at her at night. My husband and I are severely worried that she may get the confidence to full on attack the small cat or will eventually intimidate the small cat and the small cat will stop being as playful, friendly, and outgoing as she is. I was recently playing with the smaller cat throwing a small ball back and forth (she plays fetch) and the other bigger cat came running to get the ball like she wanted to play but the smaller cat got it first so she began hissing and growling and swatting. When I try to play with the bigger cat on her own, she shows little or no interest or is too scared.

Should I be concerned? What can I do about the hissing and growling? I have raised my voice when I see her going after the smaller cat and she runs and hides and stops for a short bit but then will actively seek out the smaller cat only to stalk her like prey and then hiss/growl at her even tho the smaller cat is not bothering her. How do I redirect this behavior? Should I be worried? I have started giving the bigger cat calming treats and even got 2 feliway diffusers. I’m just not familiar with cats in that way and need any advice y’all can offer please!

 

[ArtNJ]

Hissing and growling on their own is not a big deal! Many cats hiss and growl very freely, especially when a little stressed. It can mean various things, but not necessarily anything more than "back off!" or "I'm watching you!" Its a very normal phase when cats are put together, and doesn't preclude eventual friendship. Even if there is an occassional swat at the smaller kitten, thats not a huge deal either. A lot of times the occassional swat is just an extension of saying "back off!" Sometimes thats true even if there is a bit of charging at the kitten and then swatting. It comes from being nervous, not from hatred or a desire to hurt. Now things can change, but right now? Right now I think you continue what your doing, trying to get the older one comfortable. With increasing comfort, you'll hopefully see these behaviors fade out.

The one thing you should stop is raising your voice. Now that you understand this comes from stress on the part of the older cat, it should be obvious that raising your voice is the exact wrong thing to do. No long term damage done I'm sure, just don't do it anymore. Instead, let them be as long as there is no evidence they are actually about to fight.

 

[Kittycatlady819]

Thank you ArtNJ. As I said I’ve only ever owned one cat and she came to us as a stray and we never had any issues with her. She was also an only “child” so to speak so this situation is different than what I had encountered previously.

I will definitely commit to not raising my voice it also comes from a place of fear in myself for the smaller cat. They are both awake right now chasing each other back and forth while the larger cat hisses, growls, and swats at the smaller cat. I guess I will just leave them be as long as they aren’t hurting each other.

as other close family/friends have said they previously lived together and are both still alive so it they wanted to hurt each other they probably would have already. I’m hoping once they’re both spayed this will alleviate some of the “tension” between them.

 

[FeebysOwner]

All cats, whether or not they are siblings or bonded, have different personalities. So, you have one cat that is apparently shy and maybe a tad bit higher 'strung' than the other. It sounds like she might have never been 'taught manners' by a mama cat. It also could be possible that the larger cat is the one who had issues with the dog, or vice versa - making her a bit more skittish as a result. Or perhaps another cat in this woman's home. A week isn't much time when it comes to fearful cats getting adapted to a new environment.

Let her get more acclimated and more comfortable with you and your home and see if some of the hissing and growling subsides on its own. And, for now, if it doesn't seem to be fazing the smaller cat much it is probably not as big of a deal as you are worried about. I would guess the smaller cat can likely tell the difference between play-related growling and hissing and fight-related behavior - so, you can kind of use her as a gauge as to how things are going between them. The other thing is that once the smaller cat matures more, she will probably swipe at the bigger cat if she is being annoyed.

If ever there is a is a time that the bigger cat is playing and doesn't hiss or growl, make sure you have a treat to give to her (and, of course, the littler one as well) to let her know she deserves a treat for 'behaving'. Having multiple balls to throw will allow you to toss one to each of them and see what happens. It would seem the larger cat would like to play, especially when it involves another cat, but gets upset when the smaller one gets the ball to play with. So, trying to get them to interact more might be a positive thing for both of them.

Cats are also very intuitive. So, while you sound like you are doing all the right things to try to get her more comfortable with you, she can still pick up on vibes you give off and probably knows those vibes are different than what she senses when you are interacting with the smaller cat. Also, being fearful/afraid can cause a fight or flight emotion in a cat, where they might run one time and 'stand their ground' another time.

A couple of TCS articles, just in case they might give you help in coming up with other ideas on how to work with the situation.
Do Cats Get Jealous? (and What To Do About It When They Do) – TheCatSite Articles
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles

 

[ArtNJ]

You used the words chasing each other "back and forth" while the big one growls with the occassional swat. That is a big clue that I'm right, and its all play from the perspective of the smaller kitten. Kittens are often *terrible* about ignoring signals from an older cat, and just keep going and going, wanting to initiate play even if the older cat is hissing growling and swatting. But that isn't all bad -- at least you know the kitten thinks nothing of the occassional swat. If it was real violence from a larger cat, the kittens atttitude would be very different. As long as the kitten isn't worried, and it seems like the kitten isn't, you don't need to be worried about the kitten. Rather, your focus should be on the older cat -- i.e. helping it adjust, maybe giving it a break for a little bit by putting the kitten away now and then, that sort of thing. Putting the kitten away for an hour or two might even help you bond with the older one.

A vet visit is always good when you get new cats, and will help you understand the true ages. You haven't seen any spraying have you? The fact that the home you adopted from smells like urine would have made me very nervous. You don't want to adopt an adult cat that sprays. But hopefully that isn't an issue here.

 

[Kittycatlady819]

Thanks all for your kind words and advice! I am working on allowing the hissing, growling, and swatting. Though seems the kitten is becoming more afraid of doing things in fear of the bigger cat. When she is playing whether alone or with us she stops every few seconds to watch for the larger cat. She also avoids areas where the larger cat is for instance if she is in the bedroom under our bed the little cat won’t come in for fear of being hissed at, etc.

I did lock the smaller one in the bedroom with my husband for an hour and sat with the bigger one. She was a completely different cat. Was playing and less fearful than I’d ever seen and I got her to come within 3 feet of me. So it’s progress.

As of right now, it’s night which is when the hissing and growling gets worse. For some reason the larger cat seeks out the smaller one to hiss and growl at her. I’m not sure if she’s asserting her dominance or what…

 

[vince]

Don't worry about the hissing and swatting. Even bonded pairs have a spat now and then. I have one that's just grumpy. He just hisses to hear himself hiss. The two other cats don't even bother to react when he hisses at them any more.

Even though he's an old grump, they always sleep together, groom each other and play together.

 

[ArtNJ]

For some reason the larger cat seeks out the smaller one to hiss and growl at her. I’m not sure if she’s asserting her dominance or what…

I had that in my most recent introduction. I think its an "I'm watching you!" kind of thing.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Though seems the kitten is becoming more afraid of doing things in fear of the bigger cat. When she is playing whether alone or with us she stops every few seconds to watch for the larger cat. She also avoids areas where the larger cat is for instance if she is in the bedroom under our bed the little cat won’t come in for fear of being hissed at, etc.

Just watch over it. The smaller cat could just be 'tired' of the interactions. Or, she could just as easily be expecting some positive interaction with the bigger cat during those times. You might be over-reacting since you seem to be kind of 'protective' of the smaller cat. Make sure you learn to decipher 'fear' from 'anticipation'. And, yes dominance could be at play as well.

Once you take them in for their shots/checkups you can see what the vet says about their ages - that will kind of give you a clue about the stages of development they are in.

I personally think the larger cat has probably not been 'doted' upon as much as the smaller cat, and so therefore there is a bit of a competition going on in the mind of the larger cat, which can be tied into the potential dominance issue.

 

[Kittycatlady819]

I’m happy to report that the kitties are getting along just fine now! I think the bigger cat has now gone into heat as she is overly affectionate, very interested in sniffing the genitals of my other female cat, rubbing on everything, and crying. This went on for 2 days… not sure if she’s still in heat today as she’s rubbing on things less and not howling. Made an appointment for shots and spay at the end of the month!