Need help with 12 year old suddenly aggressive female and 3 year old stepson.

[LewisP4334]

I have a 12 year old female cat whom I have had since she was about a year old. We have lived together with past girlfriends, other cats and dogs and have had no problems. We moved into a house about a month and a half ago and my current girlfriend moved her stuff in this last weekend. My current girlfriend has a 3 year old son and he is very friendly towards animals and is very sweet 99% of the time. However, he is very loud, very active, and basically plays as any other 3 year old would in any other household. We just moved in together 3 days ago and of course while we were moving her and her son's stuff my kitty hid under the bed while we were unpacking and sorting out the new house. My girlfriend's son was playing and wanted to get to know the my cat and decided to stick his arm and face under the bed to pet her and she hissed at him and ran out and attacked his leg and now he is very, very scared of her. He has kept his distance the last 3 days and she has wandered the house and is fine now with the move, however, whenever she sees him sitting and just playing by himself she yowls at him and hisses and tries to attack him for no reason at all. I am torn up about this and my heart is broken because I never in a million years thought my sweet girl would ever be aggressive towards anyone, let alone a child. I don't know what to do, and I have no intention of ever letting her live with anyone else because I love her with all of my heart and she has gotten me through some unbelievably tough times in my life when depression was beating me down daily. I need help, advice, or anything that can get me through this situation and help us to live together happily and make sure there are no future problems between them. If anyone has anything they can tell me to remedy this situation or slowly fix it I would greatly appreciate it.

 

[ArtNJ]

Redirected aggression is when a stressed cat lashes out a person or animal that didn't cause the stress but is nearby. So the initial attack makes perfect sense -- a stressed cat hiding under a bed right after a move should be left alone. Even you might have been attacked. Normally, however, it isn't a lasting thing unless there is fighting and pain. The cat may still be under some stress though, and there might be an element of remembering that the stepson reached for him when he was stressed.

Anyway, the solution is simple; they have to be separate for a few days. Its a good idea to confine a cat to a safe room for a couple of days after a move anyway. Your probably past the time when that made sense, but it won't hurt any for the cat to be a single room for a few days.

No reason to fear permanent consequences. The cat should be back to tolerating the toddler soon enough. Just be aware of this issue if something stresses the cat in the future, like contractors doing work. It can be something as random as stepping on the cats tail or someone dropping a dish a room away. Spotting an outside cat through a window is another big one.

 

[flybear]

some cats really fear small kids ... small kids are erratic and harder to predict, move fast... We have friends with a 4 year old and when he comes to visit ALL of my cats are on high alert and most will hide despite being usually friendly and sweet - and they grew up with kids ... The kindest thing to do for your cat is really separation from the child. Set up a room just for her - no children allowed. And take a few weeks apart from each other ... then start a slow introduction . And gradually go from there ... have the child ( outside of the safe zone) offer treats to the kitty - if both are very scared the child can lay them on the floor and take a step back to start with and gradually get closer. We established rules for visiting children ... cats walking around on the floor can be pet but only after letting them sniff first ( that kind of gives me a moment to gage the cats mood ) ... cats that hide or are on the play trees are not to be bothered