Need Help Modifying Behavior! New Cat

[CalliopeUno]

I adopted a +-5year old neutered male cat about 3 months ago. He appears to be a purebred modern Siamese; coming from a shelter I know odds are against, but he certainly displays many of their traditional characteristics, tho doesn't talk so much. We get along pretty well except for a few things. He WILL NOT be held or picked up or sit in a lap. He WILL NOT play with ANY toy ever created including string or feathers. He does like to bite boxes or paper plates if I hold them for him when he gets too bitey with me. He likes to bump heads, rub his chin on my face and hair,rub his paw on my face. When he does this I make a little chirrup clicking sound. But he also loves to KNEAD me with his needle sharp claws. He will lie next to me,sometimes put an arm across me or rest his head on me, but does not allow the reciprocal. He follows me from room to room and likes to sleep near me. When I pet him, which he loves and demands, he purrs and tries to bite my fingers, usually gently now (he drew blood many times our first few weeks but we've managed to get it down to him understanding "no biting" and I'm better at reading his signals.) He also tries to bite my iPad, phone,or books when I'm using them- thus my redirecting to the cardboard. So- still biting and kneading. The biting is getting somewhat better but the clawing he just can't seem to help. I gently push his paw away and say "hand." Once in a while I yelp if he catches me off guard with a clawing or bite. I try gently stroking a paw occasionally while I pet him and make the chirp sound he likes. How can I clip his nails if i can't hold him? How will I be able to get him to the vet should be need to go? He obviously was not socialized to play with humans, and fears any sort of confinement.

 

[fhicat]

Oh boy. You just described one of my cats with the refusing to be picked up thing. He will flail and claw every object within two miles. You may never be able to clip his nails yourself, or at least it would be years before he overcomes that anxiety. I've had my little one for two years now, and he's still this way.

The way I did, as I found out accidentally, was that as long as all his feet are touching the ground, he can be cooperative. I have a friend who is a vet tech, so she's met all kinds of difficult cats, but even she was not able to get him into the carrier before he escapes and leaves a bloody trail in his wake. We accidentally discovered that we can slide him into the carrier -- by holding the scruff of his neck and supporting his back, but without ever lifting any of his legs. So we kinda just shove him in. Then we let the vet clip his nails. He's definitely much more well behaved at the vet.

Try that.

Long-term wise, I think other than keep doing what you're currently doing, there's not much else to do. Some cats just takes years to change, and that's okay.

 

[ArtNJ]

Vet is an easy one provided its scheduled and not emergency. Just put the carrier out 24 hours before and toss some treats in when your ready to go. Well, easy if you don't have to take the cat to the vet more than once in a blue moon -- they ARE capable of learning that carrier = bad if its a repeat thing. But once in a great while, most cats will forget. A two cat carrier will work better for this -- we have had both one and two person carriers, and if the cat is at all difficult, a 2 person carrier is just so much better. So what if you have only one cat, lol.

In a true emergency have one person hold the carrier with the opening facing up while the other person forms a "collar" with their hands, with the collar going around the cat right after the first set of legs, lift and basically just plop them into the carrier. Again, the carrier should be a 2 cat carrier or this may not work. Its less than ideal, you might get scratched some, but it does work.

As far as picking up goes, I agree that it might never happen at this age, but if you can reach a very high level of trust generally, you can try again. If you aren't at a high level of trust, don't even try. Try to get the cat more comfortable with you and see if you can lure -- lure not place -- onto the lap.

Biting, you seem to have that covered. Kneading there is no known way to stop it afaik -- there was a kneading-related thread a while back. What I do that sometimes works is I hold the paw firmly in my hand to stop the sensation, release and see if the kneading resumes.

 

[duncanmac]

Trimming nails: A long process to get there but start by playing with his feet or maybe just touching his feet. You might have to do this when he is sleepy or when he is kneading - at first just a touch anywhere on the foot, then the pads and then give a squeeze and pop out a nail or two. (This might take months). Then when he is sleepy, pop out a nail and clip it - gauge his reaction and either stop and calm him or keep going.

One boy with let me play with his feet all day (and put my fingers between his toes) but as soon as he sees the clippers he gets all excited and wants to play with them.

The other guy won't let me play with his feet so much, but when he is sleepy I can get both front feet in one shot.

And you might not have to worry about the rear feet at all - they tend to wear down more

 

[CalliopeUno]

Yes, his front paws are the ones that are problematic. Those are the ones he kneads with,using his claws. I try to keep thick clothing or blankets between us when possible. Last night while cuddling he had a paw and his head draped over me almost entire night; but of course if I tried to lay my hand on him he'd move to another spot. He also let me stroke his paws a few times and readily released when I pressed his paw when he'd caught my skin while kneading. So some progress. I'll continue going slow and being patient, and hope he doesn't need a vet trip.
I did take him for a complimentary vet visit a few days after I got him, having NO CLUE what I was in for:I innocently just scooped him up and plopped him in the cardboard carrier box (like a regular cat) before either of us had time to react. It was like a comedy from hell. Him yowling, hissing, .growling, spitting, biting, clawing; me shocked and shoving body parts back in carrier, attempting to hold box together while duck-walking to kitchen, trying to contain exploding box, to duct tape it together while he clawed it to pieces from inside. It was a draw. He drew blood. The box was mangled but taped well enough to hold him for the ride there and back. He stopped fighting once we were in the car. I got him to the vet who pronounced him malnourished but healthy. He seemed mostly intimidated there and instead of fighting he hid behind my legs.
To think of going thru an ordeal like that to get his nails trimmed... I'm weighing the pluses and minuses here. He won't even go inside cat tunnels, or like his head into boxes, or snuggeries or those little covered beds or even an open basket for treats so I doubt he'll go into a carrier but I'll try it.
Right now he's purring and "combing" my hair, nuzzling my cheek, pawing my face, trying to chew my ipad. Mr. Innocent. Til the claws come out.

 

[ArtNJ]

Well, some of these things are hard -- but spending $20 or 30 on a proper 2-cat size carrier hopefully shouldn't be one of them.

 

[CalliopeUno]

Indeed! After the cardboard carrier fiasco (which is what he was sent home from Humane Society in- and how DID they get him in there I wonder?) I got a metal and plastic one I've been keeping in my closet. Wish I'd read these posts first and got the 2-cat one, as you'd swear he has at least 8 legs and 2 mouths when inside ;-)