Need help/advice.

[StripeyMom]

Baby S has been with us for almost 3 weeks. My older cat G (12 yo) is very sensitive and sweet. Trying to mitigate her stress. She would not enter the room for scent swapping or go upstairs where he was staying in a guest room. Gradually we’ve exposed the cats to one another…fully supervised. They are separated at night and during the day while we are working.
Baby S (8 weeks) really wants to be friends. At first he was too wild and she swatted him a few times. Now he stays 6 feet from her, lays down to show submission and mirrors her lower energy level.
G hisses and growls the entire time she’s near S and goes to a high perch or our laps or under the bed. She’s just not having it. I tried creating positive associations…playing with them when they are in the same room…or giving both treats. Baby S loves it but G won’t play or even eat fave treats around him. The only time she relaxes around him is when 6 feet away on the couch and she’s on the TV credenza,if He falls asleep she will doze too.
Any ideas of what more I can do or do I just carry on. I have Feliway going throughout the house. Also I will have some time off work soon where I can give them more supervised time together. Appreciate any suggestions!

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. Not sure of all the details that might apply, but regardless you have an elderly cat that is trying to cope with a kitten. Nonetheless, it doesn't sound all that bad at this point. What are doing in the way of introductions? Maybe take a look at some of the information in these TCS articles (see links below) for some help in devising a plan?
How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat – TheCatSite Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles

 

[iPappy]

When I brought my tortie kitten home, she was too little and sick to be out for more than a few minutes at a time so I kept her in a pen in my living room. My older female (she was about 6 at the time) would walk by her pen, growl, hiss, and smack the pen, sending the kitten into the corner of the pen to hide. She'd do this every chance she got. Once the kitten got healthy enough that I could let her out for a few hours every morning and evening, they did what your cats are doing. Baby kitten wanted to play, adult cat wanted to run and hide. Since there was no actual aggression, I just did what I was doing and let my older girl get used to the idea, but always kept the kitten somewhere else when I wasn't home and overnight so she could relax. As the kitten grew and got stronger, I left her out during the day but continued caging her at night. They get along just fine now! I think if your older cat has places to go to get away from the chaos of the new baby and you have plenty of "us" time with her (no kitten for now), and you can play with the kitten to help wear some of that energy out, everything will be fine.
Also, not all cats like kittens. Kittens are cute and cuddly to us, but to an adult cat, they can be overbearing, annoying, and a real pain in the you-know-what. Once the kitten becomes less kitten and more cat, she might be more accepting.
2 years ago I had a peaceful household. 3 cats, one dog. Then I brought the little Papillon puppy home and she was like a tiny tornado. She really "upset the balance". But she's almost 2 and things are really pretty good again. She's currently sleeping on a big dog bed with two of my cats, and is using ones shoulder as a pillow

 

[StripeyMom]

Hi. Not sure of all the details that might apply, but regardless you have an elderly cat that is trying to cope with a kitten. Nonetheless, it doesn't sound all that bad at this point. What are doing in the way of introductions? Maybe take a look at some of the information in these TCS articles (see links below) for some help in devising a plan?
How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat – TheCatSite Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles

Thanks. I received/read both articles when I first brought Baby S home. As I mentioned in my post, I’ve done a lot to introduce and supervise. I’m supervising every night after work and on and off all weekend for 3 weeks now. I am trying to follow the advice in the articles but it isn’t working (details are in my post). Am looking for some additional ideas. Thank you!

 

[StripeyMom]

When I brought my tortie kitten home, she was too little and sick to be out for more than a few minutes at a time so I kept her in a pen in my living room. My older female (she was about 6 at the time) would walk by her pen, growl, hiss, and smack the pen, sending the kitten into the corner of the pen to hide. She'd do this every chance she got. Once the kitten got healthy enough that I could let her out for a few hours every morning and evening, they did what your cats are doing. Baby kitten wanted to play, adult cat wanted to run and hide. Since there was no actual aggression, I just did what I was doing and let my older girl get used to the idea, but always kept the kitten somewhere else when I wasn't home and overnight so she could relax. As the kitten grew and got stronger, I left her out during the day but continued caging her at night. They get along just fine now! I think if your older cat has places to go to get away from the chaos of the new baby and you have plenty of "us" time with her (no kitten for now), and you can play with the kitten to help wear some of that energy out, everything will be fine.
Also, not all cats like kittens. Kittens are cute and cuddly to us, but to an adult cat, they can be overbearing, annoying, and a real pain in the you-know-what. Once the kitten becomes less kitten and more cat, she might be more accepting.
2 years ago I had a peaceful household. 3 cats, one dog. Then I brought the little Papillon puppy home and she was like a tiny tornado. She really "upset the balance". But she's almost 2 and things are really pretty good again. She's currently sleeping on a big dog bed with two of my cats, and is using ones shoulder as a pillow

Thanks. This is reassuring and sounds like my two. I’m trying to spend lots of time with my big kitty though she usually wants to be alone when the baby is out. I do the same…separate at night so my girl can sleep with us and baby can have his space. I have some time off coming up and hope it’ll allow them more time to work on it. I can’t wait for them to be friends. The baby idolizes her and just wants to be with her. She’s the sweetest cat ever and once they bond, I know she’ll be happier. She lost her other two sisters over the past 3 years and would be anxious when we leave/travel/work long hours as an only cat.
I love Pappillons! What a fun furry household!

 

[FeebysOwner]

Thanks. I received/read both articles when I first brought Baby S home. As I mentioned in my post, I’ve done a lot to introduce and supervise. I’m supervising every night after work and on and off all weekend for 3 weeks now. I am trying to follow the advice in the articles but it isn’t working (details are in my post). Am looking for some additional ideas. Thank you!

It is probably not explicitly stated in the articles, but the bottom line is this: You can only progress through the steps at the pace of the slowest adapting cat. What this means is that some steps might look like they are not working, but in reality some just take longer than others, and there is not really any way to rush the process without jeopardizing the progress already made.

3 weeks is nothing to an elderly cat. There have been occasions when the entire introduction process took months. So, carry on and be patient! I think they are doing very well for just 3 weeks! You also have to recognize that G may never want S as a friend, it could be that she will merely learn to tolerate him.

 

[StripeyMom]

It is probably not explicitly stated in the articles, but the bottom line is this: You can only progress through the steps at the pace of the slowest adapting cat. What this means is that some steps might look like they are not working, but in reality some just take longer than others, and there is not really any way to rush the process without jeopardizing the progress already made.

3 weeks is nothing to an elderly cat. There have been occasions when the entire introduction process took months. So, carry on and be patient! I think they are doing very well for just 3 weeks! You also have to recognize that G may never want S as a friend, it could be that she will merely learn to tolerate him.

Thank you! I can definitely be patient but I just wanted to be sure we were still ok.

 

[iPappy]

It is probably not explicitly stated in the articles, but the bottom line is this: You can only progress through the steps at the pace of the slowest adapting cat. What this means is that some steps might look like they are not working, but in reality some just take longer than others, and there is not really any way to rush the process without jeopardizing the progress already made.

3 weeks is nothing to an elderly cat. There have been occasions when the entire introduction process took months. So, carry on and be patient! I think they are doing very well for just 3 weeks! You also have to recognize that G may never want S as a friend, it could be that she will merely learn to tolerate him.

I think it was a year before I was comfortable leaving my two out 24/7 with no supervision. I wasn't worried about actual fighting, but I didn't want anyone getting bullied, and kittens are much braver than they should be. One day she managed to get up on the piano, slid on some sheet music and took the music, herself, and a metronome onto the floor. She was sore for a day, so we played it safe until she developed some sense of keeping herself safe.
My two dogs (13M, 1F, both neutered/spayed). My old male likes the young female just fine, but isn't "buddy buddy" with her. She, however, showers him with affection which he tolerates, sometimes with low annoyed grumbling. They remind me of the Ropers. She's constantly kissing his face and flirting, and he just ignores it and wants to be left alone to read Andy Capp

 

[StripeyMom]

I think it was a year before I was comfortable leaving my two out 24/7 with no supervision. I wasn't worried about actual fighting, but I didn't want anyone getting bullied, and kittens are much braver than they should be. One day she managed to get up on the piano, slid on some sheet music and took the music, herself, and a metronome onto the floor. She was sore for a day, so we played it safe until she developed some sense of keeping herself safe.
My two dogs (13M, 1F, both neutered/spayed). My old male likes the young female just fine, but isn't "buddy buddy" with her. She, however, showers him with affection which he tolerates, sometimes with low annoyed grumbling. They remind me of the Ropers. She's constantly kissing his face and flirting, and he just ignores it and wants to be left alone to read Andy Capp

Lol…

this makes me feel better. I think they’ll be separated at night for a long time and won’t be left unsupervised for some time. My cat is putting on a good show, but she’s a little scared of him. So my kitten is going to be big…huge paws…and I don’t want him bossing the cat around. I’m fine with it taking as long as it takes…just want everyone to be well adjusted

 

[StripeyMom]

Well, it has been a month. My older cat G avoided the upstairs as soon as the kitten S came home. No curiosity/sniffing the door etc. She stopped going upstairs. I brought things with S's scent down to her and vice versa. I took her up to the room S was in while he was out. She would not go near anymore. I have plug ins of Feliway going upstairs and downstairs. After scent swapping for a few days I started having S follow me downstairs when I got his food in the mornings so she could see him we went right back up to his room. We gradually extended the time S was out. He is now out from about 8a to 9p each day. G my older cat does not like him/still hisses and growls. She only swats him when he pounces on her. I have tried to make some positive associations, playing with them together/feeding them boiled chicken (G's favorite) together. Literally, G did both things once and then was like "you are just doing this to get me around the kitten and NOPE". She won't play or eat around him. She stays on the counters or high tables and hisses if he gets near. He is still too little to get up on most of them. When he comes to close and she gets mad, he is immediately submissive/lays down/shows his belly. It is sad he really wants to be friends but G is not having it. She seems a little depressed and over the past few days won't come around me much even when baby S is up in his room. Last night she did not sleep with me. I am extremely close to G and very sad that she is so sad. I am off or working from home the next few weeks. Need ideas. I have tried what all the cat intro sites recommend but G just won't engage. She hisses and growls at baby S but won't hurt him and will hang out in the room with us and sleep on a high perch. Thanks for the continued support and suggestions. Past cat intros...the older cat has been mad but curious too. She is just wanting to avoid him and is interacting with me so much less. I love her and miss my girl! I also love baby S...neither one of them are going anywhere so I need more ideas.

 

[StripeyMom]

One more thing...I am giving her rescue remedy for pets.