Need advice!

[unetsu]

I'm really sorry if I ramble and/or don't make sense! I hope this is the right forum to post in... I am a busy 17 year old who wants to adopt a kitten. I have school, family, and a boyfriend to attend to. I am worried about whether my time will be enough to nurture a new cat.

I know a substantial amount of information on how to properly take care of a cat after doing much research here and around the net! However I have never been given a straight answer on how much attention I should give my cat. If I could, I would have him/her by my side every second of the day. I don't want to have to choose between nurturing my animal and spending time with the people I love. I would not feel right if I adopted a kitten and only saw him/her for a few hours a day. If I do adopt, I will most definitely be staying home with the new kitten for at least a month. After that, is what I'm worried about... 

I'll be starting up my Senior year in about 2 months, so I will be unfortunately busier than ever. I will want to spend most of free time with my boyfriend, as I have been for two years. I would love to bring the kitten to his home, but his family has a very old kitty that does not take well to new cats in the house (he runs around and pees everywhere!) During the school year, I will only be home during the night hours of the week, and the entire days of Saturday and Sunday. Is that not enough time for a kitty? I also want to harness train the new cat so that I can take him/her out with me. My older sister used to have a cat that took the bus with her everywhere, and seeing that inspired me to try to train my own kitty to do that! 

I also have an unfixed male cat (he's around 4) who is almost always outside. I am wondering how an unfixed male acts around fixed males/females? He is very calm and sweet, but he is also the alpha male of our neighborhood. He reeks of spray and has a few scars. How do you figure he'd react to another cat in the house? And how would the new kit act around him? We are aiming to adopt a female. 

Thank you anyone who takes the time to read this and give advice. I'm really stressing about this. I love my alpha tuxedo, but he is never in, and doesn't like to cuddle anyone but my step father! I'd just love to have a cat of my own. I just want to make sure I will be able to take good care of one. 

If nothing else, my boyfriend and I will adopt when we move out together. It will just take a bit longer! 

 

[catapault]

My first advice is to get your current cat neutered. It would have been better to do this when he was 4 to 6 months old but done is done. So he's 4 years old now. It will make him calmer, more of a homebody, and less likely to come home with battle wounds. Not to mention he will no longer be fathering kittens. An un-neutered male cat is not going to be especially kind to a female kitten, especially when she is old enough to breed.

If I understand it correctly you want a kitten to play with on weekends and maybe a few weekday evening hours. Who will feed the kitten - depending on age at a minimum that's twice a day wet / canned food with some dry left out for "grazing" between times (though 4 times a day wet / canned food meals for a young kitten is better.) Who cleans litter box? That's an everyday maintenance chore. Who is going to pay for the kitten's rabies shot, other inoculations, spaying, or any other vet costs that might arise?

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you will have the time to build up a relationship with a young kitten, a good, loving foundation for a wonderful relationship that will continue for 15 years or even longer.

 

[unetsu]

My first advice is to get your current cat neutered. It would have been better to do this when he was 4 to 6 months old but done is done. So he's 4 years old now. It will make him calmer, more of a homebody, and less likely to come home with battle wounds. Not to mention he will no longer be fathering kittens. An un-neutered male cat is not going to be especially kind to a female kitten, especially when she is old enough to breed.

If I understand it correctly you want a kitten to play with on weekends and maybe a few weekday evening hours. Who will feed the kitten - depending on age at a minimum that's twice a day wet / canned food with some dry left out for "grazing" between times (though 4 times a day wet / canned food meals for a young kitten is better.) Who cleans litter box? That's an everyday maintenance chore. Who is going to pay for the kitten's rabies shot, other inoculations, spaying, or any other vet costs that might arise?

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you will have the time to build up a relationship with a young kitten, a good, loving foundation for a wonderful relationship that will continue for 15 years or even longer.

I have offered many times to pay for our cat to get fixed. He is my step father's, and my step father doesn't want to fix him. He believes it will take away from his personality, and my mom believes so too. When we first brought him home, I never wanted him to be an outdoor cat. I was too young to pay for any of his needs, and my parents figured he would be fine how he was. I don't really agree with that, but what could I do? He became an outdoor cat when I started middle school. During the day my step father would let him out to play. If I am to adopt, the new cat will most definitely be fixed and stay indoors unless I am outside with him/her. 

It isn't just that I want to play with a kitten. I want to grow with a cat of my own. I want to have a friend to cuddle with when I am down, bored, or just want to be loving. I want to give a loving home to another animal (and yes, I pay much attention to our 4 year old, when he is actually inside!) When school starts back up, my mother will be the one to give him/her food in the afternoon. I will be there to feed the cat in the mornings and evenings, and his/her litter will be cleaned once or twice a day. Once when I am home, and once during the day if my mother/step father sees fit. When he/she gets older, I may not have a breakfast/lunch/dinner set for the cat, but rather leave it out for it's own choice of meal time. As for vet expenses, I've already got money saved up for it. I've been saving it just for the cat. I've got a few hundred. And yes, I know that it won't be a one time visit, and sometimes there are unexpected things to attend to.

I hope that my response has given you a better idea of my plan. I am still thinking really hard on it, I won't be making this decision spontaneously. I've been planning to adopt for roughly a year, and I've always loved cats (who wouldn't!) If you don't mind me asking, though, what kind of problems will come up if I have a fixed young cat in the house with an unfixed older male?  





 

 

[angels mommy]

My first advice is to get your current cat neutered. It would have been better to do this when he was 4 to 6 months old but done is done. So he's 4 years old now. It will make him calmer, more of a homebody, and less likely to come home with battle wounds. Not to mention he will no longer be fathering kittens. An un-neutered male cat is not going to be especially kind to a female kitten, especially when she is old enough to breed.

If I understand it correctly you want a kitten to play with on weekends and maybe a few weekday evening hours. Who will feed the kitten - depending on age at a minimum that's twice a day wet / canned food with some dry left out for "grazing" between times (though 4 times a day wet / canned food meals for a young kitten is better.) Who cleans litter box? That's an everyday maintenance chore. Who is going to pay for the kitten's rabies shot, other inoculations, spaying, or any other vet costs that might arise?

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you will have the time to build up a relationship with a young kitten, a good, loving foundation for a wonderful relationship that will continue for 15 years or even longer.

I have to say I completely agree. It's a lot more work than you realize. There is a lot of daily care that needs to be done. Feeding, scooping litter,

play time, brushing.....  Also, what if the cat had a medical emergency? This is always a possibility. My cat had cystitis 3xs this past year & it was VERY expensive!  I now have a Care Credit bill with a balance of over $1,000.00.  Vet visits, ultrasounds, meds, follow-up visits, etc.. The last time was on Christmas day, so part of that balance is a big bill from the Animal Hospital, sense it was a holiday. Then, after trying everything, he ended up just having to go on Rx food, & that is $40.00 a case, which is 24 cans. He will have to probably stay on it for the rest of his life, so that is another unforeseen expense.

I know you would love to have a cat, but I honestly think you are just at to busy a time right now in your life. Not to mention, on top of everything

you listed, I would also think that in the near future you would be getting a job, so that takes even more time away.

Maybe for now, you can volunteer at a shelter. This way, you can still spend some time & share the love you have for kitties, until the time is right for you.

And yes PLEASE have your parents get your male cat neutered asap!  There are already sooo many unwanted kittens in shelters because of cats not being fixed. It only contributes to an already large problem.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I have offered many times to pay for our cat to get fixed. He is my step father's, and my step father doesn't want to fix him. He believes it will take away from his personality, and my mom believes so too. When we first brought him home, I never wanted him to be an outdoor cat. I was too young to pay for any of his needs, and my parents figured he would be fine how he was. I don't really agree with that, but what could I do? He became an outdoor cat when I started middle school. During the day my step father would let him out to play. If I am to adopt, the new cat will most definitely be fixed and stay indoors unless I am outside with him/her. 
 

Sometimes; when you are the minor, there is only so much you can do.  But maybe as you learn about the benefits; they will be able to learn though you.  How you approach it may matter.

I have to say I completely agree. It's a lot more work than you realize. There is a lot of daily care that needs to be done. Feeding, scooping litter,

play time, brushing.....  Also, what if the cat had a medical emergency? This is always a possibility. My cat had cystitis 3xs this past year & it was VERY expensive!  I now have a Care Credit bill with a balance of over $1,000.00.  Vet visits, ultrasounds, meds, follow-up visits, etc.. The last time was on Christmas day, so part of that balance is a big bill from the Animal Hospital, sense it was a holiday. Then, after trying everything, he ended up just having to go on Rx food, & that is $40.00 a case, which is 24 cans. He will have to probably stay on it for the rest of his life, so that is another unforeseen expense.

I know you would love to have a cat, but I honestly think you are just at to busy a time right now in your life. Not to mention, on top of everything

you listed, I would also think that in the near future you would be getting a job, so that takes even more time away.

Maybe for now, you can volunteer at a shelter. This way, you can still spend some time & share the love you have for kitties, until the time is right for you.

And yes PLEASE have your parents get your male cat neutered asap!  There are already sooo many unwanted kittens in shelters because of cats not being fixed. It only contributes to an already large problem.

I like this idea of volunteering at a shelter.  I have to agree; I think at your age your life is about to go through some rapid changes that it can be difficult to foresee.  As much as we plan; life has a way of changing things.  If you have to depend on your Mom and Step-dad as "backup" while you are finishing school and getting out on your own, that may mean they will want to control things such as the quality of the food you feed, whether or not to see the vet if there is something going on (or even whether or not the cat will have yearly well-exams), etc.  That may depend on them and your relationship with them.  It's just hard to say.  Of course it COULD work; but there is also a good chance things may work out smoother if you wait a little longer.  I have found that having 2 kittens at once made the kitten period and even beyond easier.  But that means double the bills too.  

I guess my main concerns are financing things, your obligations, and how your life will change over the next few years.  I'm not sure how to word this to you without sounding like I doubt your maturity; so please don't take anything I say as an insult.  I am a pretty low-key person.  I'm now well past college, married with kids and a mortgage.  But I was never one to do the things typical college kids do at those ages when it comes to partying, drinking or road trips.  I always felt like I was a little more mature than other people my age. (Which makes me 

 to say now!)  But I was never home.  I went to school, worked and spent time with my friends or my now DH.  A lot of my friends were military guys at that age also. They were never home.  These are the years for you to enjoy the freedom of being able to stay out till all hours and somehow still manage to work the next day, go to class, study, etc.  Somehow find time and money to go to concerts and music festivals...to be young.  I got married a few months before I turned 21 but waited on having kids.  So in some ways I was more centered than some people I knew.  But still I feel like looking back; I couldn't have known how life would change so much and how I would change so much during those short years.  I'm now feeling old enough to know that I'll look back at myself at this age and roll my eyes at myself.  Does that make any sense?

It is good you are saving and trying to make this kitten a priority.  But there will be time for kittens in the future.  You won't get this time of your life back.  But only you and your Mom and Step-dad can make this decision right now.  

As for how your Step-dad's cat will react; you would need to do proper introductions.  It's likely he will defend his territory. That could come in the form of marking indoors.  There is a recommended procedure for introducing cats that I would not skip even a little bit with an in-tact male around.  It can be completely normal for introductions to take months before cats are OK with each other.  I'm really not sure how his lack of neutering plays into that other than knowing he is more hormonally driven.  Also; consider that you will need to treat this kitten for fleas and things the other cat could bring into your home.  Preventative measures.  

Good luck with your decision!  I hope I haven't completely discouraged you; but I am trying to give you a realistic picture of what I've seen to be true.