Need Advice/suggestions/Support on trying to domesticate a scared stray/feral

[carstenmyferal]

I’m a retired guy living alone in a small house out here in Suffolk County, Long Island New York. Began feeding a cat who started coming around my backyard in the summer of 2012. There were actually several cats coming around, but “Carsten” (what I eventually named her) soon became my favorite. She actually seemed to stake out my backyard/patio area for herself.. occasionally fighting off the other cats (who I also sort of discouraged too LOL). Carsten and I sort of developed a relationship. She would come and stand on or near the patio..would stare through the window at me when I was in the kitchen.. it was almost like she was saying “why don’t you get out here and leave me some food already !” …I would open the door, talk to her, and put out her food. Sometimes she would hang around most of the day..(and I would give her more food eventually)..and sometimes she’d just eat and run…one thing though, Carsten would always keep her distance from me.. about five feet…usually wouldn’t come for her food until I went back inside…obviously very afraid of people. Occasionally I would sit outside near the back door and leave the food farther away…sometimes then she would eat with me there, but she always seemed wary and suspicious..kept looking up at me to make sure I kept my distance !!!

When she stopped coming around in the winter..I naturally wondered what happened to her….wished then I had maybe tried to take her in… was really happy to see her when she appeared again in the spring of 2013 …glad she had somehow survived the winter (how do they do that ??)   …decided this year at some point I  would try to take her in and hopefully “domesticate” her..had actually been thinking of adopting a rescue cat from a shelter, but could not do that without first giving Carsten a chance…

Did some research.. obviously trying to domesticate a feral/stray is a very big commitment and requires LOTS of patience.. and time.

Fortunately, there is a lady in the development I live in who I befriended that apparently feeds or knows people who feed/care for all the local outdoor strays and ferals.. was told by her that Carsten had in fact once been an indoor cat but several years ago was set free by her owner(s).. (or possibly escaped) ..apparently they had gotten a dog and the two were not getting along…also have a feeling she may have been mistreated in some way… Carsten has since then been roaming the  streets around here for several years… and somehow survived…she also at some point in the past few years had been trapped, spayed, and set free again..ear clipped..(this later was confirmed by a vet)..

On November 11^th    2013, with some help I finally trapped her in a humane trap and immediately brought her to the vet. He confirmed her gender, age (approx 8-10), the fact  she had been spayed, and gave her appropriate shots.  While at the vet she would not let herself be handled at all though..had to be sedated..brought her home and set her up in an unused empty bedroom…her “safe” spot in the room is the carrier I had used to bring her back from the vet…it is soft sided with a fleece bottom, very comfortable for her. Carsten had no problem with using the liter box I have in with her, which kind of confirms the fact she had once been an indoor cat. Also put some cat toys in the room, as well as a little carpet covered table that I put near the window hoping she would at some point climb on and be able to look outside. I put in a cat bed too, but up to now she has ignored it, preferring the carrier.

It’s been about seven weeks now. Been following the advice I read by trying to get her GRADUALLY used to me by using food. I go into her room twice a day..put out food (boy, does she aet well !) I give her wet food mixed with chicken pieces, sardines, or both)..will stay in room and wait for her to come out of her carrier/safe place to eat which she does,  reluctantly. While she’s eating I try to sometimes talk to her in a calming gentle voice… but she still seems SOOOOO afraid of me though.. am sure she would prefer I just left the room and let her eat alone, but I won’t do that…she gets to within 2-3 feet of me while she’s eating…and quickly returns back to her carrier when done..

A few other observations about her..she never meows..she only occasionally ventures out of her safe spot/carrier to explore her room…(I peek in several time a day, lol …). Also won’t drink water..have to give her skim milk mixed with water to get her to drink....

Wondering what if anything now I should be doing…at some point would like to give her the run of the house, but since she is still so very afraid/wary of me feel maybe still it’s too soon to attempt that. Also wonder if I’ve done the right thing for her…would she be happier outside (although she is certainly safer indoors) especially in the cold winter months…..ANY ADVICE/SUGGESTIONS WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED..

 

[sillywabbit]

Well, my first suggestion would be to stop the milk. Get a fountain. You can find them online or at pet or even feed stores.

If she wants the carrier, let her use it. Poor kitty. I've heard it said you can't make a feral a housepet, but have patience. Feliway spray and diffusers are nice and they work!

You really out to acclimate her to your scent...put at shirt you have worn in there, maybe in the carrier.

Does she have access to a sunny window? Please don't deny her the right to look outside, she needs the sun also.

As fir toys, are you playing with her? Like with a dangler?

I would try and go in there more than once a day, cats are social animals...

A single room with just toys tossed in and 2 visits a day doesn't sound like it would engage her enough mentally. Feral cats are used to being engaged and stimulated mentally.

Did you do the right thing? That's not for me to say. There are those who'd argue both sides; I'm not there, so I can't say.

Give her time. 7 weeks isn't long. I've heard if cats needing 6 months to come out of their shell. ) it's all good. My 2nd cat, she stayed scaredy for Years, but she came around.

Good luck and I'm sure you will hear many better tips than I could offer.

 

[laurag]

That's really great that you took her in. Taming a committed wild kitty is so difficult. I think that it's good that she has her safe room and crate.  You could get a baby gate and if possible, give her some more space to explore further out from the current room. For a kitty that has grown used to roaming, it might actually do something for her confidence if she can explore a bit more. Ideally though you would want her to be comfy with you and within that room before giving her more territory. But if it has been 7 weeks and she is still that cautious--maybe confidence will come with a bit more knowledge about what exists beyond that door.

With Boo Berry (avatar) I initially had to shoo him away because he was hunting the birds on my feeder (which are placed on the edge of my deck rail). Then I started feeding him Friskies Pate so he wouldn't be interested in the birds. Very soon after he was chatty and friendly with me and now lives in my house.

One of my indoor cats for years was basically a feral that lived in my house. He changed eventually and now sleeps on my feet.  One thing you can try is to have her favorite food in your hand before her feeding to see if you can coax her to eat it out of your hand, or in a dish on your lap while sitting on the floor.

Boo won't drink water either. I mixed water with his canned food but then started feeding him a freeze dried raw and mixing more water with it as a soupy broth. He enjoys it, but tends towards a bit of constipation still.

 

[ondine]

You absolutely did the right thing, God bless you.  I would spend a little more time with her (sit in the room reading out loud - it will get her used to your presence and voice).  You can also allow her to explore the rest of the house, although I would make sure she can't get out the door.

The fact that she was spayed tells me someone, somewhere cared about her, which means she's feral only because she was lost or abandoned.  So she wasn't born feral - she has had some interaction with people.  That's good - gives you a good starting point.

Milk may give her tummy upsets - most adult cats are lactose intolerant.  A fountain is a great idea.

Have you tried chicken baby food?  Most cats can't resist it.  Get the Stage 2, Gerber is good (no onions).  You can put a little on a spoon and originally, lay the spoon about two feet away from you while you're sitting in her room.  You can gradually move it closer to you until she is eating fro your hand.

Also - don't bend over her - always get down on her level.  If you look at her, don't look in her eyes - that can be taken as a threat.  Blink slowly - if she responds, she speaks feral.  (Blinking is like a warm smile to ferals).

Finally, when you reach for her, always make a fist, never an open hand.  The fist will looks like a cat wanting a head bump.

Yes, you absolutely did the right thing!  Thank you ...

 

[carstenmyferal]

Merry Christmas and thanks to those who have offered advice...

Had already tried a long stick with a catnip toy attached.. Carsten seemed to be scared of it though, definitely no interest,  so I stopped ...she has been roaming around her room a bit more lately so maybe it's time to re-introduce it to her... still think it's best to  take things SLOWLY and go at her pace, not mine...put an old sock in her carrier.yesterday..kinda hissed a little, but I guess she'll get used to it...also leaving some old tee-shirts of mine lying around, and will try to spend more time in the room reading to her.

I know milk is not good for her..may try the fountain idea, although my gut feeling is she won't go for it..will definitely try the "broth" idea though !....was wondering about using non-lactose milk  when giving her the 50/50 milk water drink which is still the only liquid she will consume...would that be better for her than using skim milk ???  Soooo very afraid she won't drink at all...definitely like the Gerber baby food suggestion...will be picking up some today !!

Some time in January I'm thinking of maybe  letting her have access to most of the rest of my house...certain areas which I feel are unsafe or where she can do some serious damage will still be off-limits though..still not sure if it's too soon to do this...was hoping to get her less scared of me first, but maybe doing that would help accomplish that.....any thoughts out there on whether or not I should or should wait ??  Would still have her food, litter, safe/place carrier, and toys in her bedroom...

Thanks again to all you Cat People out there..

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all !!!

 

[ritz]

I would keep her confined longer rather than shorter, let her get comfortable in a small place first, then slightly larger.
And, if you're feeding wet only (good!), I wouldn't worry too much about her water intake. Cat's have a very low thrist drive, need for water (they after all originated from Egypt). You can always add some water/sodium free broth to the wet food.

 

[ondine]

I would wait until she shows she's more comfortable with your presence.  If you let her out before that, she will hide and possibly get outside again.  (From necessity, cats on their own can be very sneaky)

Merry Christmas to you, too!

 

[lrosewiles]

I won't add to all the good advice here except to say that one of my feral adoptees also refuses to drink water out of a bowl - but she consistently drinks water out of my lucky bamboo plant.  this worried me at first but  checked with our vet that this is not dangerous (provided she doesn't try to eat the bamboo which she doesn't).  Members with more experience may want to comment, but it works for us.  My best guess is she was accustomed to drinking from accumulated rain water in puddles etc and this just works for her.  I have add fresh water to it each day as she will drink it down to the roots!   Lucky bamboos are cheap and easy to find, I actually got mine for $5 at a dollar store!  Maybe worth a try if she doesn't go for the fountain?  As noted, milk can give digestive problems if given too often and kitties really do need water.

good luck and Merry Christmas.

 

[kittychick]

How wonderful that you've taken Carsten in and taken such good care already!

My husband and I have worked with ferals, and just recently worked with a litter of 3 feral kittens (who'd been feral from birth - which we know as they were born under our neighbor's deck to a feral mom). Definitely don't get discouraged - as I can tell you from experience that 7 weeks, while it seems like forever to you - isn't that crazy long. So don't get discouraged! One of the 3 kittens tamed almost immediately - within a few weeks - but the other two took months to even get remotely comfortable with us in the room. But eventually - several months later - they became wonderful, sweet boys (although 1 remained a little cautious of strangers) that are now in a wonderful, adoptive forever home. 

So I know the frustration of spending weeks and wondering why the kitty won't trust yet...still hides...etc. But truly -- just take it slowly and I can almost guarantee you'll eventually be rewarded

I can offer the suggestion that the more time spent with her in "her" room the better. When I'm working with kittens, I try to spend (if at all possible - and luckily I work from home so I can) a good 4-6 hours a day minimum with the kittens. Coming in for a good hour at a time if at all possible. And (some of what I'm about to suggest has I think been suggested above - but figure it won't hurt to repeat) if you can have something in the room that has the sound of human voices going as much as possible (like a radio, a television) that helps desensitize her to voices. 

I'm in agreement that I wouldn't let her into the rest of the house yet --- until you feel that she's just a bit more comfortable with you. I speak from painful experience on that - with the kittens I mentioned above - we had them initially in a large wire dog crate with an open cat carrier inside (and the three spent most of the time I was in the room inside the carrier --- which is fine, as that's a perfect "safe haven"). My husband blocked off most of the very large room with tall plywood so that they would have a little more space ---but the plywood accidentally came unattached in one section and the three kittens escaped into a big section of the house where they were. We finally rounded them up - but the "rounding up" process (which we had to do as we have other, permanent kitty residents and these kittens hadn't been Felv tested, etc.) truly set the three back socialization-wise almost to the beginning!! 

Skim milk really isn't good for her - it's hard on their kitty digestion. Have you tried the feline milk substitute you can get? It's not cheap - but perhaps you could dilute steadily more and more until she is drinking straight water. 

Ondine's suggestion on the Gerber Stage 2 chicken baby food is great - my husband calls it "kitty crack." We've yet to meet a feral (or any kitten for that matter) that wouldn't eventually approach just to get to that yummy, stinky stuff!

And definitely think "low and slow." When you come in to visit her, get as low as possible (I sit or lay on the floor when in with them), speak in slightly low (as in hushed - not pitch, as actually cats are less frightened by higher, female tones than male voices - for some reasons male voices often frighten them) voice, and keep your eyes low. And move slowly.

And most of all - don't be afraid to post and ask any questions! This site --- particularly this forum - has saved my mental state many times! You'll find so much good advice, comraderie, and help. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! And good luck with her. Keep us posted!

 

[catsfurme]

What a wonderful thing you have done.  

I don't let my cats outside anymore due to fleas, ticks, injuries or sickness from other cats.  They are accustomed to that now and are happy to sit at the window.

Sometimes mixing a bit of broth to their water will make it more desirable, the low sodium kind.  Wet food does supply more moisture to their diet as opposed to dry food.

I make a mixture of canned cat food, egg, cheese, broth, add some soup (like chicken noodle, beef, beef vegetable, etc.,) a few tablespoons of tuna,  I add mashed potates or noodles if I have some left over and even left over veggies, about 2 or 3 tablespoons worth.  I blend it all together, if I have to warm it a bit I do; cats really don't like cold food.  I just heat it to room temp, never more than that.  That's the only food one of my cats (a rescue cat) will eat which provides her with a little more fluid.  I also make it for the ferals; in the summer I have kids in the neighborhood who like to help and they call it "kitty soup".  It looks a bit like chocolate milk so many people have asked me what it is.  They are assured it's not chocolate milk once they smell it.  The cats love it and recognize the smell, I've gotten used to it, but my roommate can't stand it and leaves the kitchen when it's time to prepare.

You might try Friskies Party Snacks and just leave a trail to the doorway of her room.  I have one cat who loves them and recognizes the sound of the bag when I pick it up!

Your cat will get used to you and her surroundings.  She eventually may crawl on to your lap or sleep on the bed with you.  Gradually she will know she's in a safe place.  It saddens me when people abandon a pet or pets.  It takes committment and desire to care for a pet and some people take that lightly.

Thanks for your contribution to the cat world and to your neighborhood.  

Happy New Year to you and Carsten.  

 

[shadowsrescue]

I would definitely keep her in the room for awhile longer.  If you let her out, she may get herself into a spot you never imagined and be even more frightened.  One thing you can do is to get a cheap screen door from Lowes ( the wooden ones are only $20) and attache it over the door frame with cheap tension rods.  It makes it a bit more difficult getting in and out of the room, but it's better than defacing the door.  You could put the screen door up for short periods during the day.  This would allow her to see out of the room as well as hearing the sounds of your house. 

I brought a stray turned feral into my house in late May.  He is still adjusting.  I kept him in a room by himself for over 2 months before opening the door.  It took until early Nov that he was allowed out of his room for daytime.  He still stays in his room during the night.  One product I found very helpful was liquid Composure Max.  I started using feline Composure treats, but it took 3 of them to work and it took close to an hour to see him calm down.  The liquid Composure Max is mixed with wet food and works within 20 minutes.  It has a very calming effect.  I have also had good luck with Jackson Galaxy's Feral Cat Rehab flower essences. 

Gerber chicken or turkey stage 1 is called kitty crack around here.  They just cannot resist it.  I have used it on all my ferals and it works wonders on getting them to take medicine. 

I also think that visiting the cat 4-6x a day for short periods would really help.  You could just enter the room, bring a few treats and set them down.  Sit down on the floor and talk quietly to her.  If you run out of things to say, you can just read allowed from a book, paper or magazine.  When you leave, set down another treat.  This will create a routine for her.  You enter and she gets a treat, you leave and she gets a treat.  If you only enter at meal time, she is not getting enough exposure to you.  When I brought my feral inside, I would enter the room about 6 or more times each day.  I would only stay for 5-10 minutes each time and gradually I would increase the time. 

Thank you so much for rescuing this sweet girl.  It will take her time to trust again, but it can be done.

 

[kittychick]

ShadowsRescue makes such a GREAT point about creating a routine. I've discovered that makes a HUGE difference. You can obviously develop whatever routine works for you, but this is the dopey little routine I've developed when I'm trying to socialize a feral...I center it around food while they're still really calming down. I always start talking to them before I even enter the room - and I always say the same kind of thing (like I always start doing a little singsong voice "I'm coming with kitty food" kind of thing) that I continue, quietly while I come in, settle down. All slowly and softly. As I noted earlier - I'm able to do alot of time that people who aren't at home all the time can't do, but as pointed out above I don't do it all in one chunk. I also don't feed a ton at one time so that every time I come in I can bring food. So that associates for the cat/kitten "oh - that person that won't actually hurt me even brings food every time I hear them" starts to calm them down - not so panicky when they hear me enter the room. Definitely try the "kitty crack" - such a great "persuader" for feral cats  But if you can start associating your entry into the room with a pleasant "reward" it helps alot!

The screen door suggestion above has also worked well for lots and lots of people - so once she's a little calmer, you might look into that. Photos can even be provided on how to do it (just ask - great suggestions on how to put it up in a fairly non-permanent fashion). 

 

[carstenmyferal]

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. It really does get frustrating at times, but Carsten is just sooo adoreable..helps keep me going..

This morning, I tried putting out some Gerber chicken baby food (aka catcrack)…as many have recommended…..just put out a teaspoon of it in the spoon in a saucer..placed it about a foot from where I sit in her room..also put out her “regular’ concoction where I mix wet cat food, sardines, and a few pieces of leftover chicken..added some chicken broth too, and made sure it wasn’t cold (all other suggestions). Placed that about four feet away, the “usual” distance. Voila..She went right for the baby food, gobbled it up !!  But alas, she then went to her regular meal, sniffed it, looked up at me (I was viewing my laptop, just saw her at of the corner of my eye)…and retreated back into her carrier..!! I patiently waited..maybe she’d come out again.. but no dice.. waited half an hour more, then took the food and left..came back an hour later with food, , but she still would not emerge…

Heading out now.. did leave a radio on for her..soft music and talk…will see what happens later.. keep thinking maybe if I talk to her in a high pitch womany voice, that might work..mine is kind of deep....it feels a little silly, but whathehell...

Gotta keep being patient…am I trying too hard ???

Just came back…put out her regular meal again and guess what ?..SUCCESS !!  Hurray..

Thinking about that screen idea someone suggested..will try to make it over to Home Depot later this week.. I think there’s a way I can set that up so I can leave the door open occasionally  and she can hear and see me more..we’ll see..stay tuned …

Kittychick: Just read your latest new suggestions..like the idea of smaller meals, more visits...will be doing that now when possible..I always have been softly knocking on her door before entering..will now try a little high pitched girly talk too..

 

Thanks again to everyone.. the support and suggestions really do help a lot, especially keeping me sane.

.!!!!!

 

[kittychick]

Sooooo glad our suggestions helped so quickly! Sometimes it helps just to have people to bounce things off of so you know you're not crazy or alone...and you're neither

I know the voice thing sounds/seems crazy, but I can tell you - again from experience - that it can make a real difference. We had one guy who came to adopt one of our last feral, socialized kittens....and he had a REALLY deep voice. A kitten that had become so sweet, seemingly extremely socialized...was scared to death by this guy who was very, very nice but his voice seemed to truly - almost primally - frighten the kitten! We advised him to come back, meet her again, but be a little softer and higher pitched - and I tell you, it helped. My husband does it too now. But that little kitten ended up with that very deep-voiced guy - and we even got a Christmas card from him and the kitten a few days ago - very much happily ever after! 

And the food thing always gets to me - I've had alot of those kinds of times with cats/kittens...get them to get excited about something, and then it almost kicks off something new to worry about for us, doesn't it?  Everyone here reminds me that it's often three steps forward, two steps back.....but eventually you do get there! If she came out for the "kitty crack" you've made a great inroad.

And if she's getting all that liquid in the amazing mixture you're making - don't worry too much about water. Sounds like sh's getting alot of liquid in her food itself. 

So...some of it may feel crazy...but I can almost guarantee (as much as anyone can with cats) if you keep consistently trying alot of these things....you'll generally have pretty amazing (albeit slower than we humans would certainly like) success. 

And definitely come back for questions and support - this site has gotten me through alot of questions/rough times. I always considered myself a pretty knowledgeable cat person - but there are SO many people here with amazing experiences - that I come here for support and questions that only others with experience can answer!

 

[moderncat2]

•  

You can get her pretty close to some domestication.  I had worked with my older feral male for couple of years.  I started with feeding him through a window, your circumstances is different, you have her in a room. I put his food bowl by a window and I would slowly open it (he could't hear) and I would touch him and he would take off.  I did this every time I fed him.  After a while he was okay with me petting him and he didn't sprint off. Each step took time.  I would leave a window open and he would come in and use the litter box I had for my other cat.  No I didn't think I would have two cats to clean up after.  Then I would feed him inside.  I would sit right next to the food bowl and try to touch him.  Eventually he was okay with it.  Then I would see him laying around and follow him to pet him.  Eventually he would accept me.  By two years I was trying to get him to let me put him in my lap while sitting down on the floor.   A lot of scratches later I was able to do that and I was try to get him use to picking him up to another level.

Also I had a skittish kitten.  Spent couple of weeks to months to get a kitten (7 months) use to me.  I kept her in a bathroom and she hid in the litter box.  Routine and a lot of talking while in the room with her name being called she eventually turned into a lap kitty.  So have faith, be patient and thank you for taking in kitty. She must have been meant to be yours.  Keep her in this room until you form some common ground with her.  Where she comes when called, she is okay you pet her etc.  I know it's in inconvenience for you to keep her there but you don't want her to hide in a big house and she only comes out to eat when you are there.  Establish a relationship she will come around.

A good can food will be healthier for kitty.  I use Merricks but use what's in your budget.  Good luck and keep her in your home.  

 

[shadowsrescue]

Here is a picture of my screen door set up.  The screen door is really light weight so it's easy to move back and forth.   You can get the tension rods at Lowes too or Target sells them as well.  Total cost is $20 for door and $4 for 2 tension rods.  I have a gate in the door frame as well.  I use a gate as we have a large dog that I don't want going into the room. 

Sounds like you are already having some great success!!

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• shadowsrescue
• Sep 18, 2013

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• shadowsrescue
• Sep 18, 2013

 

[moderncat2]

I bought 3 baby gates from Craigslist and put one on top of each other to keep the new skittish kitty in the bedroom and introduce to my house cat (also skittish)  My cat was too aggressive for the kitten so she ended up being a lap kitty and was always on top of me.  So much for a playmate for my cat

 

[carstenmyferal]

Well it’s been about a month since my last post. As many on this site had predicted, trying to socialize an older feral can be an emotional rollercoaster, requiring patience and the ability to accept the fact that there will be bad and good days, and that doing this requires being able to accept this. Most of all, it takes time..you have to realize you are on her “schedule”, not yours !! You do things when she’s ready…

Progress has been slow, that’s for sure. Carsten is now willing to  get a little closer to me  when I go in to feed her. I try to do that at least four times a day, and stay in and talk to her. (Someone had suggested I speak to her in a high pitched female voice..find it hard to do that, lol),,,do try my best to speak slowly and calmly though.. read, go on laptop while I’m in with her…also sit now on the floor, another suggestion.. she seems comfortable, but not when I try to get too-too close !! Food bowl is now about a foot and a half away from me, and she comes right out when I ring a little “meal bell” which I do to let her know it’s chow-time..

I still have her confined to one room, but she is definitely more adventurous then she was a month ago. Carsten now spends most of her time out of the carrier..her favorite spot is either near the baseboard heater, or on top of a table I have near the window (she can look out and sun herself there)..

Her problem not drinking water has sort of been resolved in two ways.. Her main meal is now canned food, which I add some chicken broth to it so it’s more like a  brown stew.. usually also add either pieces of leftover chicken or sardines..YUM_YUM_YUMMY (at least she thinks it is !).. also now give her KMR cat milk, which I’ve been diluting with water..

I also took the advice given here by putting a folded large dog crate in the doorway and keeping the door open..it fits perfectly  (stood up vertically)… have

feeling she could probably climb over it if she really wanted to, but she still doesn’t appear ready for that so figured I’d take a chance..so now she gets to see me walking around the house and in the living room when I’m there.. when I walk by I always try to say “Hello” and talk to her a little….

Still feel she’s at least a month away form being given access to the entire house. I want to wait until that moment where at the very least she feels comfortable enough with me to come right up close, maybe even let me touch her..  still wonder if that day will ever come though.. going on three months now, but I understand five months (or possibly longer) is not uncommon…hope my patience doesn’t give out.. come springtime, if things haven’t changed I know I will be tempted come to the conclusion our “relationship” just wasn’t meant to be  to let her out again…any thoughts on this out there ??

 

[susank521]

You have been amazing and so patient with her! How wonderful you are for taking her in and caring about her. Even if your relationship never gets to what you would consider ideal, please don't give up on her. It's a miracle that she lasted as long as she did on the "mean streets" before you brought her in. You won't find too many 8-10 year old homeless or strictly outdoor cats.

She's been inside you home since 11/11/2013 and there are no other animals or people in the house. That's a rare and perfect situation! Keep in mind that I tend to take intros faster than what is recommended, mostly out of necessity, then back off when necessary. It's been over 3 months now, so in your situation I would choose a time when I would not be required to leave the house for at least two days in a row. When you went to bed the first night, move the barricade between Carsten's room and the rest of the house just enough so that she will notice it. This will allow her to explore the house at night, as she naturally would. Even if she is not in her room the next morning, you should carry on with your feeding routine. Don't open the outside doors until you know where she is. I would expect her to respond to the dinner bell and return to her room, if not the next day, then the day after. Best of luck! 

 

[ondine]

Oh, this is good news!  I would continue to take it slowly, allowing her to explore when you are home and doing quiet work.  Remember cats are individuals - she may never be a lap cat.  Letting her take things at her own speed will allow her to be comfortable enough to be who she is - cuddler, loner, whatever.

Thank you for the update.