It was mid 2004 when I got these babies.
We were told there were only girls left. I crouched and picked the first ones who came to me, the 2 most lookalikes. My sister picked the red one (the one at the bottom).
I quickly realized that one of the twins was a boy, and swapped it with my sister's pick, so she got the boy twin. Easier when you have 2 girls.
My sister has sheltered a lot of cats. Different philosophy, she lets them free to live their life outside. And thus like most cats outside, boy twin had a short (but happy I guess) life of 4 years.
I didn't name them, because a cat isn't a dog, and I think that a cat wouldn't let himself be named if he was asked. So they were just my girls, the white one, the red one. Red one is every cat, independent, haughty, cold. White one was special, like reincarnated human. She was weird & loving. And intelligent enough to force me to turn all of my door handles vertical.
Anyway, red one still alive, will probably reach her 20. White one passed on on sunday.
And now I can't stop thinking that I could have cared better. She (and her sister) got very thin & bony, fully deaf, sleeping very deeply, that all quickly happened. But ok, that's 95 years in human age, I wish I'll reach that age.
Still, while they wouldn't jump around like before, white cat was still happy to live.
This is how I found her, and I'm sad that it happened behind the door while I was only a few meters away but heard nothing. I like to think that she got out of her bed and just fell dead, not suffering. Her eyes and mouth were open. I thought that she had choked on something, but there was nothing around to choke on, the food in the dishes was just sauce to lick. There was no vomit either, nothing. Only weird thing is one of her leg was all wet. Can a cat choke and die on a fur ball? Picture at the bottom, don't look if you don't wanna see death.
20 is a nice age and it was bound to happen, and she possibly got the best ending with the least suffering. But still, I can't keep thinking that I could have done something. I looked inside her mouth - something that a cat normally doesn't let you do - she hardly had any tooth left on one side. But that I already knew, they both had troubles with kibbles. She had appetite, though. She was eating well, as I was picking a lot each day outside her litters (she has done that all her life, I could never train her properly, perhaps the red one, being the chief (despite being weaker) "claimed" all 3 litters, I don't know. She was eating, but not processing much anymore I suppose, as she was really skinny.
Would I have been able to do anything if I had noticed her falling, I don't know, and that might not even have been the best for her. But that didn't leave me time to tell her goodbye, so something's missing in this natural process and I wish I had been holding her for her last breath, and I'll miss her forever.
/end of rant
