My Sweet Girl Passed Away Yesterday

stephanie junca

stephanie junca

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Jul 6, 2013
Messages
109
Purraise
149
Hi all,

I have posted here in the past about my kitty, Paprika. She was dealing with kidney and liver disease and at her initial diagnosis about 2.5 years ago they gave me a grim outlook. However, with treatments and love, we were able to prolong her life for a long time.

Unfortunately, this past month she took a turn for the worse. Her liver and kidney were barely functioning causing her body to build up fluid. Her belly was so big that she struggled to walk. She had a hard time breathing and the vet also discovered that because of her condition she had developed a heart murmur. The vet was honest with me and said I could take her to a specialist for further care but at her advanced age of almost 18 they didn't see her living a comfortable life or even that if I did find extra treatment that it would prolong her life much longer.

I already knew deep down even before I took her to the vet the last time that she was shutting down. She no longer came to bed at night and mainly just hung out on the same spot on the couch. She wasn't really enjoying life anymore. If I picked her up or pet her, purring was a struggle so I always felt terrible giving her affection.

We decided to ease her in passing. I scheduled it for this weekend and the vet gave me pain killers for her to help make her comfortable until then. Yesterday my fiance and I took her in the morning. Everyone in the office was very kind and knew how important my cat was to me. They gave us plenty of time to say our goodbyes to her. When it was time, I knew deep down I was doing the right thing. It happened so quickly. I recited a little poem to her and pet her and held her for the last time.

She was so important to me. She was always there for me since I was a teenager. We had lived through so many things together. I can't believe she is gone. I feel like she's just at the vet right now and that I'm going to pick her up tomorrow.

My fiance and I spent yesterday doing things that would distract me. It helped. Today though we picked up all of her toys and bedding and bowls and things that I had collected over the 18 years that I had her. We cleaned up any messes that were left. Now I have a clean place but no Paprika .

I know it will take some time to get used to her absence but I'm doing my best to focus on the fact that she is no longer suffering. As hard as it may be now, I know that it will get easier with time.

We know we want a dog and a cat once we buy a house which will be some time next year. For right now, I am just mourning her absence and trying to move on. I'll never forget her. She was so special to me. RIP Paprika ❤
 
betsygee

betsygee

Just what part of meow don't you understand.
Staff Member
Moderator
Joined
Mar 17, 2013
Messages
28,503
Purraise
17,758
Location
Central Coast CA, USA
That brought tears to my eyes. It's always hard to lose them and so much more so when they've been a beloved family member for that many years. I'm very sorry for your loss of your little girl. :hugs:

RIP, Paprika. :rbheart:
 
di and bob

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,688
Purraise
23,148
Location
Nebraska, USA
There comes a time, in EVERYBODY'S life, that the effort to live is just not worth the struggle anymore. Instead of living the life, they are existing. When the body is old and tired, when the pain is constant, when the body is shutting down, when there is no future except for one with more of the same and no cure, that is the time to end the time on this earth. It takes a lot of love to end that pain, but somehow you knew what she was trying to tell you and set her free. It hurts, it haunts, and it brings on pain of your own, but it is the right thing to do and it is done out of love.
The 18 year bond you with that sweet girl is a strong one. Love is spiritual, so eternal. It doesn't just disappear when the body breaks down, it just takes on a new form. No one and nothing can ever take it away from you because it is intertwined with your very soul. She was a valued family member, she will be dearly missed, but she will always be nearby. The new path she follows will always parallel your own until the day it crosses once more.
You know she loved life so much she would never want you to sacrifice one moment of your own life on sadness and grieving. Just as you would want for her to go into a future of happiness and sunshine if you were the first to go, so does she. She would never want less for the one she loves above all else.Celebrate having that precious girl in your life, it would have been a tragedy to have never known that sweet love. Don't dwell on the end, it changes nothing and only brings heartache. Don't let the death be more important than the life. Because then death wins over the joy in living, and none of us can let that be true. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest, and that means joy and sunshine, honoring our past loves by loving again, by adding to the love and letting it grow, not hiding it in a dark and saddened heart.
My heart goes out to you, I know how much this hurts. I have been down that road so many times and know that the comfort of those who understand helps us get through the grief and learn a new life's order. Take care......RIP precious Paprika. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 
les26

les26

Sylvester's daddy
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 19, 2015
Messages
2,449
Purraise
4,953
Location
Emmaus, Pennsylvania
I am so sorry that you lost your little friend, she lived a long good life with you but no matter how long they live it is never enough for us, but she is just fine now and relieved to be out of her sickly body, her spirit is free now and you will see her again. I t takes a long time but eventually you will be able to cope with the loss, but it hurts so bad right now we know.....just deal with it day to day and as each day moves on you will feel a little bit better as you come to terms with it.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless........:alright: :grouphug: :rbheart:
 
Mamanyt1953

Mamanyt1953

Rules my home with an iron paw
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Oct 16, 2015
Messages
31,342
Purraise
68,341
Location
North Carolina
Rest you gentle, Paprika, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

So many years of love...I weep for you. But I say, yet again, that love never dies. It changes form, it continues on, still Love, and it abides. And Paprika's spirit will be with you when you buy your house, and you welcome your new cat, and she will rejoice at your happiness.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #12
stephanie junca

stephanie junca

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Jul 6, 2013
Messages
109
Purraise
149
Thank you all for your kind words! It means a lot ❤

Today, I went back to work and I was ok for the first few hours. But, right before lunch I could feel the sadness seeping in. I told my boss that I needed to step out for a minute and I went to my car and cried for a bit. I called my mom and she tried to console me. She and my dad were also saddened by the loss of Paprika as she had been in their home for many years as well. My mom said that her and my dad have talked about her and her silliness over the years. That helped a bit in calming me down.

But, then I came home to an empty apartment. No excited meows at the door anymore. Although she had stopped doing that as much in the past few months. Sometimes she wouldn't even hear me come in and then I would walk over to her and she would get startled that I was there. She was going deaf in her old age.

Right now, I'm sitting in her favorite sunny spot imagining her doing just that wherever she may be. Always the sun worshipper watching the birds out the window. Such a sweetheart she was. It still hasn't completely set in that I won't be getting her back. I know it takes time to get used to this. But, I will always remember her. Thanks again to all who have shared your condolences. I know many of you have also experienced this loss and grief. It makes it a little easier to know there are others who have experienced this and gotten through it.

I thought I would share some of my favorite pics of her below when she was in the prime of her life:



 
L

LisaBG

TCS Member
Kitten
Joined
Jun 26, 2018
Messages
1
Purraise
1
stephanie junca said:
Hi all,

I have posted here in the past about my kitty, Paprika. She was dealing with kidney and liver disease and at her initial diagnosis about 2.5 years ago they gave me a grim outlook. However, with treatments and love, we were able to prolong her life for a long time.

Unfortunately, this past month she took a turn for the worse. Her liver and kidney were barely functioning causing her body to build up fluid. Her belly was so big that she struggled to walk. She had a hard time breathing and the vet also discovered that because of her condition she had developed a heart murmur. The vet was honest with me and said I could take her to a specialist for further care but at her advanced age of almost 18 they didn't see her living a comfortable life or even that if I did find extra treatment that it would prolong her life much longer.

I already knew deep down even before I took her to the vet the last time that she was shutting down. She no longer came to bed at night and mainly just hung out on the same spot on the couch. She wasn't really enjoying life anymore. If I picked her up or pet her, purring was a struggle so I always felt terrible giving her affection.

We decided to ease her in passing. I scheduled it for this weekend and the vet gave me pain killers for her to help make her comfortable until then. Yesterday my fiance and I took her in the morning. Everyone in the office was very kind and knew how important my cat was to me. They gave us plenty of time to say our goodbyes to her. When it was time, I knew deep down I was doing the right thing. It happened so quickly. I recited a little poem to her and pet her and held her for the last time.

She was so important to me. She was always there for me since I was a teenager. We had lived through so many things together. I can't believe she is gone. I feel like she's just at the vet right now and that I'm going to pick her up tomorrow.

My fiance and I spent yesterday doing things that would distract me. It helped. Today though we picked up all of her toys and bedding and bowls and things that I had collected over the 18 years that I had her. We cleaned up any messes that were left. Now I have a clean place but no Paprika .

I know it will take some time to get used to her absence but I'm doing my best to focus on the fact that she is no longer suffering. As hard as it may be now, I know that it will get easier with time.

We know we want a dog and a cat once we buy a house which will be some time next year. For right now, I am just mourning her absence and trying to move on. I'll never forget her. She was so special to me. RIP Paprika ❤
Click to expand...
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my beautiful Mishka on Friday morning and the pain is horrendous. It has helped reading other peoples experiences on this site.
 
SusieCookie

SusieCookie

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
78
Purraise
52
Location
Texas
I am sorry for your loss dear. She's so beautiful! Thank you for sharing her with us ♡. I lost my Catdaddy this past friday. He was also going down hill, and was battling Kidney disease. He was also given a very grime diagnosis, he had a 3.5 creatinine. He had been in stage 3 for two years before it started to impact him. You did well by her ♡ and took such good care of her. Rest in peace sweet Paprika. ♡
 
K

kpc1024

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2016
Messages
154
Purraise
119
So sorry for your loss. It is devastating. I lost my boy about 4 months ago. I think of him everyday. Last week I got a kitten, while he will never replace Herman, who held the most special place in my heart, he has brought in a new energy and happiness to our home and now he too has a home where is is loved and not at a shelter anymore. The healing process is unique to each person. I have a new kitten, yet, I cannot look at the paw prints that the vet did before I put him down.I just sucks, bottom line, until it hurts less and you will get there. Be well. Take extra care of yourself.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top