I'm so sorry for your loss, and I know the pain you are going through now, having lost my mom to cancer two years ago this month. You will be surprised at the strength you find to get through it, and it does get easier as time passes, although she will be in your heart forever. I don't think a day passes that I don't think of my mother and I will always miss her. But I know we will all be together again one day, and that does help.
I was with two of my siblings last night for a long time. We listened to her favorite songs and we cried...ALOT. My daughter, neices and nephews were there with us and we hugged and amazingly enough my brother told a few really funny stories about mom.
My mother was such a beautiful person and she loved everyone openly and without reservation. She was always willing to forgive and forget. I want to share a letter I wrote for her, it was hard to write, but I am so proud of her, of the amazing life she lived.
Mom-
I hope you know how much we loved you, will always love you. We watched you go and all of us felt the shift, our world tilted. Now we wonder how we are going to make it right again. Looking around me I see people going on with life, something we will have to do without you and Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not sure any of us know how we will do that yet. How do we get through the coming months and years?
There were so many things mommy, because all of us thought there was still time. We wanted to tell you things, to ask you things. How will we ever have summer without you making potato salad? What about family potlucks without your noodles? I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know how to make butterscotch pie and you have gone away without telling me. We were supposed to make strawberry jam. I wanted to watch you make peas and taters, to see you in the kitchen doing all of those wonderful things that only seemed to know how to do.
Cancer is such a scary, awful disease and it wasnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t fair you had to fight again. We had to watch you bear up under the enormous strain. You were so brave, so stoic about it all. You took all of it in stride and you never really stopped having hope for your miracle.
We are so very proud of you and your life, your legacy really is the five of us and the amazing job you did raising us on your own. We want people to remember you for the wonderful woman you were. The way your smile lit up a room and how much people loved to be with you. When people talk about you it will be with love and laughter, because you knew how to turn a phrase and make even the mundane funny.
We are all going to be ok, so donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t worry about us to much. You did your job and it made us strong and resilient. We all know you would have chosen to stay and be with us for a while longer, but sometimes the plan gets changed.
Mom, thank you for being who you were, thank you for every moment you gave to the keeping and care of your 5 children. We are better people for that and you being here made the world a much better place to be.
With Love,
Lisa, Anita, Anna, Joe and Fred
All of you here have ben so very kind and I cannot thank you enough. I even told my family and they send thank yous as well.
That is a beautiful tribute to a much loved person. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am lucky, my parents are both still alive at 97 years old, though my Dad has dementia, but I lost my ex-husband this spring very suddenly to cancer. It is always such a shock, even if you are expecting it. It is good that you have close family round you to give each the strength to cope with such a terrible event. My deepest condolences.
My deepest sympathy. No matter how old you are or how prepared you think you are for the end, you still end up feeling orphaned when you lose a parent. Right now your grief and sense of loss outweigh most other feelings, but they'll gradually be replaced by good memories of your mother, which will bring you peace. Your tribute says it all.
My Mom died in 1978 so I know the pain you are feeling. Just know that while she isnt here physically anymore, she will live forever in your heart. The pain will lessen in time, and the tears will mostly stop when you remember her. And one day you will find yourself smiling instead of crying when you think of her.
The firsts are the hardest to get through. First birthday, first holiday, first anything.
What I've been doing for years which has helped me is to do something special on my Mom's birthday. My Mom loved ice cream, and so do I. So I mark her birthday with a maple walnut ice cream cone and I spend the time sitting and just thinking of her and the happy times we had together. It makes me feel close to her on her special day.
Maybe in time you will want to start a tradition of your own.
If you ever feel like talking, I'm just a PM away. *hugs*
I want perfect words to come across this screen. Mostly because I relate, I lost my mom too (goodness, 4 years ago). My mother's passing was also unexpected to some degree. I say this because I get it. I am almost in tears because it takes me back to that huge, overwhelming loss I had when my mother passed. I still can't wait through card aisles during Mothers Day.
Saying "I am so sorry" doesn't even do the loss justice. Obviously, I am sorry for your loss but I want you to know it is more than that. It's that encompassing degree of empathy I feel for your loss.