I know how hard it is, many of us here know. I will say this again, none of this is your fault.
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My Little Girl Is So Poorly. :(
- Thread starter thekittycatz
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I have been following this thread but haven't posted yet. I echo whatI don’t know how to process this very rapid deterioration other than to blame myself.
denice
said, please do not blame yourself. We are their caregivers and you have gone above and beyond to care for her. You have followed the vet's instructions, done your research and given her all the love and affection anyone could possibly bestow upon her. 
By that act alone you should not feel guilty. I completely understand that this is a difficult time for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please know that we are thinking of you and share in your grief as well.
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Thank you both for the reassurance. 
And everyone for your kind words.
I’m going to keep strong keep looking after my baby and if she tells me or I feel in heart she’s struggling I will have to be brave for her and make a hard choice. But I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to become that brave.
And everyone for your kind words.
I’m going to keep strong keep looking after my baby and if she tells me or I feel in heart she’s struggling I will have to be brave for her and make a hard choice. But I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to become that brave.
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I think that is a really normal reaction to have, T thekittycatz . I definitely had those thoughts after losing my sweet Gwennie in April. Just because it's normal doesn't make it true. You aren't a mind reader or future teller, and unfortunately that is what perfectly caring for a cat requires.
If you were reading your story as someone else's, would you think "this is all her fault"? Of course not! You would read this story as I and others in this thread have and think "she really loves her cat so much and obviously took such good care of Missy to make it all the way to age 16! Missy really lucked out being in her family and they had a good life together."
I hope that you feel a sense of peace after all of this. It is so hard, I know.
I am sending you all of my love and all of my thoughts and prayers for your continued strength and courage in the face of all this. 
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Hey everyone sorry it’s been awhile since I updated.
We took missy in on Thursday to see the vet. She was sneezing again. And I felt like she had lost more weight.
She’s got some antibiotics for the the cold and some eye drops. I thought missy had been eating more wet food over the last week. But she went down in weight again to 1.7kg.
In this last two weeks everything’s changed. She can’t get up the stairs. So I’ve got a litter box for her in few places so she doesn’t have to go far. And she can’t get up onto her favourite part of scratch post. Just so heart breaking. The vet spoke to me again about he’s thinks it’s time I let her go.
I broke down and tried to explain to him that I kept reading about small cell lymphoma about how they can live for year after being diagnosed and maybe about ibs or ibd and her teeth are bad so she struggles to eat.
My partner has tried to reassure me too that two months ago despite her teeth she still ate. It’s something else going on now. Maybe I’m just looking for some to blame like myself or maybe I can’t believe what’s in front of me you know.
I know I have to brave for missy now. If she keeps getting any lighter. She may start to suffer and I can’t see my baby suffer.
I’m terrified of doing this. I don’t want her to think I don’t love her and why is mommy doing this to me. I’ve fought all this time to make her better. I don’t want her to think for one second I don’t love her
I tried to explain this to my other half but he didn’t understand how I feel.
We took missy in on Thursday to see the vet. She was sneezing again. And I felt like she had lost more weight.
She’s got some antibiotics for the the cold and some eye drops. I thought missy had been eating more wet food over the last week. But she went down in weight again to 1.7kg.
In this last two weeks everything’s changed. She can’t get up the stairs. So I’ve got a litter box for her in few places so she doesn’t have to go far. And she can’t get up onto her favourite part of scratch post. Just so heart breaking. The vet spoke to me again about he’s thinks it’s time I let her go.
I broke down and tried to explain to him that I kept reading about small cell lymphoma about how they can live for year after being diagnosed and maybe about ibs or ibd and her teeth are bad so she struggles to eat.
My partner has tried to reassure me too that two months ago despite her teeth she still ate. It’s something else going on now. Maybe I’m just looking for some to blame like myself or maybe I can’t believe what’s in front of me you know.
I know I have to brave for missy now. If she keeps getting any lighter. She may start to suffer and I can’t see my baby suffer.
I’m terrified of doing this. I don’t want her to think I don’t love her and why is mommy doing this to me. I’ve fought all this time to make her better. I don’t want her to think for one second I don’t love her
I tried to explain this to my other half but he didn’t understand how I feel.
It sounds like you are talking about letting her go. Cats don't 'reason' the way we do. They are very much 'in the moment'. If you decide to let her go she isn't going to be thinking in terms of something you are doing to her. To be honest she isn't going to know what is being done. If you do decide to do this I would recommend that you be with her. It will make it easier for both of you. It is very peaceful she will simply go to sleep and slip away.
I'm so sorry, --how are things today?
That your vet has suggested that it is time is something to keep in mind, because there aren't many vets who would lightly suggest to put any animal to sleep unless they feel strongly about it. Her strength is not there any more, and she isn't enjoying her food.
When Is It Time? - Making The Difficult Decision
That your vet has suggested that it is time is something to keep in mind, because there aren't many vets who would lightly suggest to put any animal to sleep unless they feel strongly about it. Her strength is not there any more, and she isn't enjoying her food.
When Is It Time? - Making The Difficult Decision
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She wanted to come up on the sofa yesterday she sat with me on my lap purring away. I started falling asleep next to her. And she started to try get down when I had fallen asleep. I lifted my head and saw her jump and missed her by a second. She fell onto her side couldnt support herself. It was hardest thing To see I kept apologising to her. I could see what this has done to her and it’s breaking me.
The vet suggested awhile back about putting her to sleep back when she was 2.5kg as he said she probably won’t recover if it’s cancer. It upset me quite a lot as it didn’t feel like they were giving her a chance. I think that’s why I resisted so much as the chance it could be ibd or Ibs. And that feeling every pet owner has you want to give them every chance and hope of getting better.
I can see now there’s no possibility that she’s going to get better and it’s took me months to come to terms with. He told us last time with how progressive it is we could be looking more at a larger cell lymphoma than small. We just caught It early on the scan when it was smaller.
The vets told me to make a double appointment to talk to them about putting her to sleep and how she’s doing.
This is so hard. I read some of the forum posts on euthanasia and about people’s guilt and how they feel I feel as though I’m going through that already while making the choice. But if she keeps loosing 0.3kg every week and she’s already now at 1.6. What will happen I’m terrifed I want her to get better. But I know nothing can be done I’m so conflicted, emotionally drained.
I love her so much
The vet suggested awhile back about putting her to sleep back when she was 2.5kg as he said she probably won’t recover if it’s cancer. It upset me quite a lot as it didn’t feel like they were giving her a chance. I think that’s why I resisted so much as the chance it could be ibd or Ibs. And that feeling every pet owner has you want to give them every chance and hope of getting better.
I can see now there’s no possibility that she’s going to get better and it’s took me months to come to terms with. He told us last time with how progressive it is we could be looking more at a larger cell lymphoma than small. We just caught It early on the scan when it was smaller.
The vets told me to make a double appointment to talk to them about putting her to sleep and how she’s doing.
This is so hard. I read some of the forum posts on euthanasia and about people’s guilt and how they feel I feel as though I’m going through that already while making the choice. But if she keeps loosing 0.3kg every week and she’s already now at 1.6. What will happen I’m terrifed I want her to get better. But I know nothing can be done I’m so conflicted, emotionally drained.
I love her so much
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Be as strong as you can possibly be for your baby. Your vet sounds like a compassionate, caring clinic - lean on them. They will take the absolute best care of you and of your cat
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Missy lost her fight tonight.
I was led next to her the whole time comforting her holding my baby. I’ll do a proper post when I’m ready I just wanted to let you all know and thank you all for your support and understanding. Bless you all and all of your furry babies.
I love you forever missy my love you lives on in this realm and to the next. Till then my missy kitty eat all the dreamies up there and wait for me. I’ll hold you again when we meet again xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I was led next to her the whole time comforting her holding my baby. I’ll do a proper post when I’m ready I just wanted to let you all know and thank you all for your support and understanding. Bless you all and all of your furry babies.
I love you forever missy my love you lives on in this realm and to the next. Till then my missy kitty eat all the dreamies up there and wait for me. I’ll hold you again when we meet again xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I'm so sorry for your loss. She was a beautiful kitty and it is clear you loved her so much. <3 I've been through this a few times and it's never easy, but you did the right thing. In the end, we need to release them from their pain when it's time. Hugs to you.
On behalf of TheCatSite Team, we are very sorry for your loss. Threads are closed after such a loss as a sign of respect. Please consider starting a tribute thread in our Crossing the Bridge Forum.
Rest in Peace, Missy.
Rest in Peace, Missy.
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