- Joined
- Dec 2, 2018
- Messages
- 17
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- 25
Hello, I just wanted to talk about this somewhere and hope this is okay.
In November we lost our sweet Ryuji, who I named my username after. He was a beautiful orange cat who absolutely shone in the sun. He was a typical orange cat, very silly and crazy about his food. He was always so cuddly and comforting; if you had a bad day it would all go away after holding him for a few moments in your arms. All cats have their own personalities, but he was definitely a standout to both of us, as we had never had such a friendly and headstrong cat before. He loved going out on the harness and everyone who met him immediately fell in love. We currently have no children and so Ryuji truly was like our child, he was a major milestone for us as we adopted him together once we moved in together. In a way, Ryuji was analogous to our relationship, to us.
His passing was extremely sudden and completely unexpected. About a month before, he was having balance issues. The vet diagnosed it as an ear infection and prescribed medication. After taking the medication he seemed completely fine and recovered normally. The next month, he began to seem lethargic. Another trip and the vet suspected he had a cold, again sent home with medication. The very next day his condition took a nosedive, he began pacing around the house and was seemingly blind. As mentioned before, he was always a fiend for his food but was barely interested in it. A trip to the emergency vet, and they run every test they possibly can and can't find anything wrong. They say the only thing left we could do was see a specialist for an extremely expensive brain scan, and send us home with supplies to at least keep him comfortable. The next day I go into work with my heart shattering as I laid him down, with the worst feeling in my gut. By the time I finish up, my husband calls me crying to hurry home.
When I arrive home, he is even worse than before and doesn't seem conscious of anything. We both cry and cry for hours before making that worse decision and taking him back to the vet to cross the rainbow bridge. We both describe the day as one of the saddest in our lives despite also losing many human family members as well. The vets are unsure what happened but believe it may have been a brain tumor that suddenly showed symptoms.
About a month passes since Ryuji's crossing the bridge, and I delicately bring up the thought of welcoming a new cat into our lives to my husband. We had already planned for time off in February, and I thought it'd be a perfect time as we'd have had some time to process Ryuji and we would be home to get our new friend settled in. Also because we do still have another cat, and though she is faring alright we both feel she would prefer to have a companion. He agreed with me and so I set my sights on February.
However, my husband had been visiting sites like Petfinder since the beginning of this month, which I personally didn't mind but was surprised to see him doing. I saw a sweet female cat on there that I felt would get along well with Fifi, our current cat. But my husband didn't really seem enthusiastic about it so I left it. I asked him why he wasn't too interested in her, and he said he would prefer a male cat as they are usually more cuddly. Then, a few days ago we went to Petsmart to pick up a few items for Fifi. He led me over to where they feature adoptable cats. I saw an adorable orange kitten. His description described as very sweet and cuddly, and the way he awkwardly reached over his roommate's body to drink water absolutely reminded me of our Ryuji. I excitedly pointed him out to my husband, but he pointed out he seemed to be attached to the other kitten he was placed with and didn't want to separate them.
The next day, very unexpectedly, he drove us to the shelter from which we adopted Ryuji from. I was very surprised but happy to look around. They actually did not have too many cats out, but I found two I absolutely adored. One was an adorable black and white kitten who was looking at us through the glass. The other was in this area where they allow you to actually pet the cats, it was a gray female cat who was extremely cuddly and friendly. However, my husband seemed a little distressed and uninterested in the cats, so we left. He admitted that he was feeling sad there, and I reassured him that I wasn't in any rush to get another cat and we can take all the time we need.
Today, I joked about bringing the two kittens from Petsmart home. (He absolutely does not want to get two cats). But then today he told me he was specifically looking to get an orange cat. And that the kitten we saw wasn't orange. (He definitely was lol, but he was short haired where our Ryuji was long haired.)
All of that to say, that I feel like he is only looking to get a cat as close to Ryuji was we can find. If we genuinely and organically found that cat, then absolutely I would be happy to welcome them home. But I feel like my husband won't consider any other cats and I feel like that is limiting ourselves from many great cats. And, I know he doesn't mean to "replace" Ryuji but I almost feel like it's too on the nose to purposely seek one out very similar to him. No other cat will ever be him, and I'm afraid my husband will be crushed again when we welcome our new friend and they aren't Ryuji. I am perfectly okay with waiting for however long he needs.... I just wish he were more upfront with what he wants.
As for me, like I said if we genuinely meet another sweet orange then I'm all for it. But... I almost feel like I want to go for a different type of cat, at least this time, because it feels too close to Ryuji. I want to welcome a new friend, but I don't want to find "another" Ryuji. I still miss him of course and idk it just feels kinda weird to me to get another cat like him so soon. I don't know if that makes sense.
If you read all of that, thank you so much for sticking it through. I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish by sharing this, but I appreciate this space for being able to share my thoughts.
In November we lost our sweet Ryuji, who I named my username after. He was a beautiful orange cat who absolutely shone in the sun. He was a typical orange cat, very silly and crazy about his food. He was always so cuddly and comforting; if you had a bad day it would all go away after holding him for a few moments in your arms. All cats have their own personalities, but he was definitely a standout to both of us, as we had never had such a friendly and headstrong cat before. He loved going out on the harness and everyone who met him immediately fell in love. We currently have no children and so Ryuji truly was like our child, he was a major milestone for us as we adopted him together once we moved in together. In a way, Ryuji was analogous to our relationship, to us.
His passing was extremely sudden and completely unexpected. About a month before, he was having balance issues. The vet diagnosed it as an ear infection and prescribed medication. After taking the medication he seemed completely fine and recovered normally. The next month, he began to seem lethargic. Another trip and the vet suspected he had a cold, again sent home with medication. The very next day his condition took a nosedive, he began pacing around the house and was seemingly blind. As mentioned before, he was always a fiend for his food but was barely interested in it. A trip to the emergency vet, and they run every test they possibly can and can't find anything wrong. They say the only thing left we could do was see a specialist for an extremely expensive brain scan, and send us home with supplies to at least keep him comfortable. The next day I go into work with my heart shattering as I laid him down, with the worst feeling in my gut. By the time I finish up, my husband calls me crying to hurry home.
When I arrive home, he is even worse than before and doesn't seem conscious of anything. We both cry and cry for hours before making that worse decision and taking him back to the vet to cross the rainbow bridge. We both describe the day as one of the saddest in our lives despite also losing many human family members as well. The vets are unsure what happened but believe it may have been a brain tumor that suddenly showed symptoms.
About a month passes since Ryuji's crossing the bridge, and I delicately bring up the thought of welcoming a new cat into our lives to my husband. We had already planned for time off in February, and I thought it'd be a perfect time as we'd have had some time to process Ryuji and we would be home to get our new friend settled in. Also because we do still have another cat, and though she is faring alright we both feel she would prefer to have a companion. He agreed with me and so I set my sights on February.
However, my husband had been visiting sites like Petfinder since the beginning of this month, which I personally didn't mind but was surprised to see him doing. I saw a sweet female cat on there that I felt would get along well with Fifi, our current cat. But my husband didn't really seem enthusiastic about it so I left it. I asked him why he wasn't too interested in her, and he said he would prefer a male cat as they are usually more cuddly. Then, a few days ago we went to Petsmart to pick up a few items for Fifi. He led me over to where they feature adoptable cats. I saw an adorable orange kitten. His description described as very sweet and cuddly, and the way he awkwardly reached over his roommate's body to drink water absolutely reminded me of our Ryuji. I excitedly pointed him out to my husband, but he pointed out he seemed to be attached to the other kitten he was placed with and didn't want to separate them.
The next day, very unexpectedly, he drove us to the shelter from which we adopted Ryuji from. I was very surprised but happy to look around. They actually did not have too many cats out, but I found two I absolutely adored. One was an adorable black and white kitten who was looking at us through the glass. The other was in this area where they allow you to actually pet the cats, it was a gray female cat who was extremely cuddly and friendly. However, my husband seemed a little distressed and uninterested in the cats, so we left. He admitted that he was feeling sad there, and I reassured him that I wasn't in any rush to get another cat and we can take all the time we need.
Today, I joked about bringing the two kittens from Petsmart home. (He absolutely does not want to get two cats). But then today he told me he was specifically looking to get an orange cat. And that the kitten we saw wasn't orange. (He definitely was lol, but he was short haired where our Ryuji was long haired.)
All of that to say, that I feel like he is only looking to get a cat as close to Ryuji was we can find. If we genuinely and organically found that cat, then absolutely I would be happy to welcome them home. But I feel like my husband won't consider any other cats and I feel like that is limiting ourselves from many great cats. And, I know he doesn't mean to "replace" Ryuji but I almost feel like it's too on the nose to purposely seek one out very similar to him. No other cat will ever be him, and I'm afraid my husband will be crushed again when we welcome our new friend and they aren't Ryuji. I am perfectly okay with waiting for however long he needs.... I just wish he were more upfront with what he wants.
As for me, like I said if we genuinely meet another sweet orange then I'm all for it. But... I almost feel like I want to go for a different type of cat, at least this time, because it feels too close to Ryuji. I want to welcome a new friend, but I don't want to find "another" Ryuji. I still miss him of course and idk it just feels kinda weird to me to get another cat like him so soon. I don't know if that makes sense.
If you read all of that, thank you so much for sticking it through. I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish by sharing this, but I appreciate this space for being able to share my thoughts.
why not spend time helping at a cat shelter . Who knows you might just find your new best friend .
