My cat's trying to tell me something but i have no idea what she wants.

[georgecostanza]

My cat is clearly trying to tell me something but I can't for the life of me figure it out and it's getting pretty bad.

Little back story to help understand my problem.
My cat isn't like most cats, she acts more like a dog in the sense that she literally follows me everywhere I go, even if she's dead asleep and I'm just getting up to go to the washroom, she'll be right there with me, or if I go to grab a snack, right there. ( I was told she was a rescue, don't know much about the details but she was riddled with ear mites when i got her and they said at one point she had the entire fur on her back removed because she was abused in some way. I assume neglect  as she doesn't seem to trust anyone but me) She's also indoor as my neighbourhood has LOTS of Coyotes, Racoon, Skunks and traffic, I also lost my first cat in this niehgbourhood who was indoor/outdoor, one day she left and never came back. I see missing pet posters regularly on telephone poles so the choice was pretty clear.

Anyways, I got her sometime in 2012 from a friend who got her for her birthday, she isn't allowed pets in her apartment though so I agreed to adopt her. She was just a baby kitten, could fit her whole body in the palm of my hand, now she's massive. needless to say we've become very close, I treat her as if she were my child. ( she's also spayed )

Now for the issue that's only recently started getting pretty bad.
Lately she seems to be getting annoyed at me or almost obsessive and it's making me feel like i'm starting to just not like her anymore..like she'll be asleep on my bed while I'm quietly watching TV or playing a game, and out of no where she'll wake up staring at me and grunt, swinging her tail. I'll acknowledge and give her a pet and she'll just bite me clearly telling me she doesn't want to be pet so I'll leave her alone. but she'll keep doing it until i get up or she  decides to pass out again.

Other times she'll just sit at the door and stare at me for hours, sometimes she'll lay down and pass out until i get up in which case she'll run out like she wants me to follow her, but she doesn't actually WANT anything. I'll check all the things I could think of to see what she wants. I'll pet her, doesn't want to be pet, I'll check her food and water, it's fine, I'll check her litter, cleaned, I'll see if she wants to play, nope what else could it be? She's not sick, she was just at the vet the other month for a check up and everything was fine so i don't know what to do, it's getting really frustrating for both of us because sometimes she'll attack me and it'll get so bad I have to spray her with water to make her stop. she's a sweetheart some times and still curls up next to me to sleep every night but she can also be a real jerk some times for seemingly no reason. it's also not playful bites, she'll draw blood sometimes. I have a feeling she really just wants a mouse torture or something  ( i know cats can be pretty twisted lol )

She's on a diet because she's getting pretty heavy, she's not obese but she's getting big enough to the point where the vet said she should lose some weight so I have a feeling that might be PART of the reason, but it doesn't explain her attitude when she's not hungry...has anyone gone through something similar? is she just bored? I'm home a lot because I recently stopped working due to my Anxiety. Is she simply just tired of seeing me in bed all the time or? lol I know it's sad but it's tough for me to go outside alone, I get panic attacks so for the past few months I've just been home really unless i HAVE to get groceries or occasionally hang out with my  friends.

She's always been like this (obsessive)  but the past few nights have just been a nightmare, what happened to the cats who are independent and do their own thing 80% of the time and come to you for snuggles and pets the other 20% lol her attitude's really been bad since this diet, it's getting to the point where if she's hungry she'll get aggressive some times and draw blood unless i feed her, even if she just ate 20 mins ago. ( I already give her slightly more than recommended because the daily dose on the bag is peanuts. She's also and extremely picky eater and will only eat certain brands, it's gotten to the point where I just wanna say eff it and just feed her when ever she's hungry if it'll make her happy. anyways sorry for the rant, hopefully someone can give me some advice, i want her to be happy and healthy, i love her but **** the past few days i've just felt like kicking her out of my room because i don't want her in my sight. ( as i write she's sitting at the door staring at me, i get up and she runs out all excited like she wants to take me somewhere but we end up just sitting in the hallway where she continues to just stare and not let me pet her lol i'm so sick of this! just go to sleep or play with your toys dammit! haha )

 

[iwilltakethem]

Okay there are a few things i can think of, just starting off with cats aren't the antisocial jerks people make them out to be. But changing a cats diet suddenly can be hard for them. And I think that she might have been getting some nutrients from the food before that she isn't getting now and its throwing her hormones off. Also a cat losing weight going from being heavy to a normal weight will make it more active. Two pounds to them is like 50 to us. She might be wanting to play. And cats like nothing more then the chase, most cats but every cat is different. This might be a thing to consider, getting her a playmate. Like I said cats are extremely social and it would help her run out her energy and honestly how much trouble is having two cats instead of one. They mostly take care of themselves. Well let me know what you're thinking. I know I havent given you any actual solutions but i mean until we zero in on the problem there's nothing we can really do but understand and accept our pets for what they are.

 

[georgecostanza]

she's been on this diet for a few months now since the vet visit and it's the same food she's used to, just not as frequent. she doesn't even chase me though or play, she'll run around once in a while but for the most part she'll hide behind the table like she's stalking me ( i know they like doing that as it's their natural instinct ) but she won't actually engage when i play with her, some times if i catch her playing with her toys i'll join and we'll play for a bit, but when she's in this mood that she gets in, she doesn't want to play, or be touched, or fed, or anything lol which is why it's so frustrating.

And me wishing she was more independent like other cats i've known isn't necessarily a bad thing lol I didn't mean to imply that cats are anti-social jerks, her following me to the washroom or to get food isn't necessarily bad either, i don't mind that she acts like a dog and wants to do the things i do, it's when she sits there staring at me and grunt meowing to get my attention only to lead me to nothing i can't stand, she'll even wake me up at 4am when she's hyper and then take my spot when i get up to go to the washroom and sleep in it lol if it was just meowing i could ignore it but if i ignore her she'll find a cord from my TV to bite or do something else she KNOWS pisses me off just to get my attention. it seems more like a habit she just has now, i don't really know how else to explain it. I've been living with my father since my condition got worse, ( i thought about getting another cat for her but my old man doesn't want more in the house, also she's so uncomfortable around other animals and people i think it would actually be bad for her. if someone she doesn't know comes to the door she'll hide until they're gone and every pet-care center we've ever brought her to when we go on vacation she's always been horrified of and had a bad time in, she never integrates with animals just hides in her cage pissed off ) and she never bugs him or pays any attention to him and she's lived here since i got her.

I know I'm making her sound like a monster haha she's not I love her to pieces and she's very special to me, when she's sweet and kind it's amazing, it's just not so amazing when she's rotten for seemingly no reason..and lately it seems like it's been more often then not.

 

[di and bob]

Your cat is 'clingy' because of her horrible kitten hood, just like an abused child. She loves you so much and is afraid you are going to disappear. As she has gotten older she has developed a condition called a low 'over stimulation thresh hold' which several of my cats over the years have developed, and in fact my soul mate, Chrissy, was this way too.  There is a limit to how much stimulation they can take. They will actively attack after so much, say after three strokes. They are fine with one and two, but three will set them off. You have to determine where her limit is. There are signs to look for, maybe a puffed tail, raised fur on the back, a low growl, or like my Chrissy, the pupils of the eyes dilate right before an attack. Stroke or touch her once, then stop. Try to find her limit. Don't disturb her while she is sleeping or try to move her if you don't have to. Never stare into her eyes, either, that is a direct threat to cat and means aggression. That's why you see tom cats carefully turning their heads from each other.

I 'm sure the diet isn't helping either, just like us they can get very hungry and grouchy when denied. Instead of limiting her food, try to get her something that she can eat a lot of and not take in many calories, like shaved turkey breast. It will fill her up, not out, until she gets used to eating less.  Get her a corrugated 'scratcher' at a pet center or Walmart, they absolutely love them and it gives her exercise. Another good exercise toy is a 'Kickeroo" a long stuffed catnip toy that all my cats play with for hours. 

Another kitten might distract her, although she will take a long time to accept them as a friend, or have to share you. A quite, even tempered, neutered male would be the best, a young one to bond quicker, a female would just cause territory issues. It would definitely take her attention away from you more, but will take a lot of work to introduce them. It would be worth it in the long run though. Good luck, and all my best!

 

[georgecostanza]

"over stimulation thresh hold" hmm i'll need to look into that, i had no idea that was a thing. it's strange she's never hissed or growled at me, but when she bites or scratches she doesn't hold back and every now and then she'll come back for more attacks until she sees the bottle. Yeah I don't stare at her eyes haha I had a cat before this cat so i know for the most part the do's and dont's. my last one lived to 16 years old, she was bitchy sometimes too but she was a little more independent and did her own thing for the most part. We do have that awesome slow-blink-bond thing though ( i call it the head nod lol )  so i know she obviously sees me someone she trusts.

in the meantime I'll look into that "over stimulation thresh hold" thing, I'm hoping when i start working again though things will go back to "normal" for the most part because when i worked i never had this issue with her ( which you'd think me being gone for hours at a time would make things worse? )

thanks for the info!

 

[iwilltakethem]

Oh I'm so sorry, I dont want you to think I was like looking at you out the corner of my eye or anything. I was just saying that common thinking about cats not wanting you as much as like dogs is wrong.
Any animal can become way too clingy and attached though.
With her having the same food it more puzzling. I would definitely looking into the condition the others suggested and see if that fits her symptoms.
But again please dont take any offense to what I said. It wasn't meant like that.

 

[georgecostanza]

all good simple misunderstanding I've just personally never come across any cat who acts like my little Snopp so it's a first for me ( the cat acting like a dog thing ) I've seen a couple posts KIND OF similar to mine, but they had other factors like the cat was actually sick with a known ailment, or it was male and not neutered or the cat would act out by peeing on everything or 1 person had a roommate who doesn't even like cats so i figured I'd post my exact issue and see what came of it haha either way this has all been helpful in one way or another so thanks everyone! I feel bad for her sometimes because I don't know if it's exactly the same with all pets but I know dogs in particular will share the feelings of their humans, ( if a person is regularly depressed the pet can get depressed too, etc..) judging by her past I mean she clearly has some anxiety issues but sometimes I feel she feeds off my own anxiety too ( i worry about everything as I'm sure you can gather lmao )

 

[rogerniris]

I think you should rule out the diet things first. Take two days to give her the amount she used to have and see if she can be back to normal. If not, it's probably not the diet. (the same method can be applied to every cause you suspect. Do an experiment to confirm or rule out the cause and then move on to the next.) 

I'd suspect it's your condition that influences hers. You said she's very bond with you, commonly seen in rescued cats raised since young. Cats are very sensitive to owners' emotion, especially when the bond is close. She can pick up your anxiety/depression. Your cat in particular may even be more prone to anxiety because of her childhood experience. So, check if there is any sign of anxiety first (do a google research and you'll see). 

Whether it is the case or not, I think your condition possibly influence your interaction with her and your feeling for her. Your scheduled interaction with her may be changed. You may grow less patient with her. You may redirect some negative feelings towards her. The same thing happen to yourself. Your schedule is less regular, and you may sometimes hate yourself for not being stronger. If this is the case, instead of getting into the vicious circle of being anxious -> making your cat anxious --> more anxious, you have a good chance to reestablish regular schedule in your life. Start with having regular interaction with her. Play with her at certain time of the day and don't stop before it's long enough for her to get tired (I know it's easy to give up halfway during the playing because you may just don't have the patience for it). Feed her regularly - since you are always at home, I'd suggest to try some home-cooked low calories food to make her less hungry. But do some research before you do it. Also having something to focus on can help with your anxiety. If possible, take her out for a while every day. If she's not willing be walked in leash, use pet stroller. I know you don't want to go out at all. But this sets a good purpose to force you to go out regularly. Also work on something with her that can make you feel a sense of accomplishment. Train her with positive reinforcement, like fetch games or simpler games. You can get more methods from others or online research.

About adopting another cat, if she's not raised with another cat, I'd suspect if she'll accept another one, which would make her even more stressed. And I think you should work on and with her first before you take responsibility for another cat and before you get better. 

All I'm saying is, you have to get better first. Taking responsibility (although in some cases people with anxiety/depression may refuse it), having things to focus on, to accomplish, and having a regular schedule would help tremendously with your condition. Your cat just gives you a perfect chance to do that. I know it VERY HARD to get over this and do what you plan to do with the condition. I myself has been suffering from it for years and things have their ups and downs. But it's a life stage that you have to get over with. Good luck with yourself and your cat. Hope everything would work out.

 

[rogerniris]

 
all good simple misunderstanding I've just personally never come across any cat who acts like my little Snopp so it's a first for me ( the cat acting like a dog thing ) I've seen a couple posts KIND OF similar to mine, but they had other factors like the cat was actually sick with a known ailment, or it was male and not neutered or the cat would act out by peeing on everything or 1 person had a roommate who doesn't even like cats so i figured I'd post my exact issue and see what came of it haha either way this has all been helpful in one way or another so thanks everyone! I feel bad for her sometimes because I don't know if it's exactly the same with all pets but I know dogs in particular will share the feelings of their humans, ( if a person is regularly depressed the pet can get depressed too, etc..) judging by her past I mean she clearly has some anxiety issues but sometimes I feel she feeds off my own anxiety too ( i worry about everything as I'm sure you can gather lmao )

I didn't see this post before I gave my reply. It seems you yourself suspect her getting your anxiety too Another thing is that with a close bond, not only she can pick up your emotion, but you may also project your feelings about yourself into her. You feel she's "hateful" because deep in heart you may hate yourself. etc. etc. I'm sure you know enough about anxiety and psychological explanations involved here.

On a side note, my male cat behaves like a dog too (run along with me, come when called, etc.). It's a little different from your case. I adopted him several months ago and don't know his history. But he's confident so it's probably not childhood trauma. He is not influenced by my anxiety at all 

 He's an angel in my life and eases a lot of my anxiety.

 

[georgecostanza]

 
I didn't see this post before I gave my reply. It seems you yourself suspect her getting your anxiety too Another thing is that with a close bond, not only she can pick up your emotion, but you may also project your feelings about yourself into her. You feel she's "hateful" because deep in heart you may hate yourself. etc. etc. I'm sure you know enough about anxiety and psychological explanations involved here.

On a side note, my male cat behaves like a dog too (run along with me, come when called, etc.). It's a little different from your case. I adopted him several months ago and don't know his history. But he's confident so it's probably not childhood trauma. He is not influenced by my anxiety at all 

 He's an angel in my life and eases a lot of my anxiety.

I don't suffer from depression, was just using it as an example but i get what you're saying for the most part she's been very helpful towards my anxiety, i guess she just has her bad days/weeks like all of us. she seems fine today so i guess i'll just take it for what it is. during the holidays emotions are always crazy especially since I'm not working, I'll try and be more mindful of how what I do/feel can effect her as well. it didn't really click when i made this post at first as it was right in the middle of her acting up, after her acting this way for the past few days i guess it just got to me and i needed to see if anyone else was having even the slightest similar experiences or if it was just me.

thanks for the input!

and yes i agree with adopting another cat, i honestly don't see it happening with her, i asked my friend to sit my cat for a night as we were having some renovations done in the house. she hid behind his couch the entire time she was there ( he has a giant fluffy friendly cat of his own who's a sweetheart but very intimidating as he's massive haha ) she ended up wetting herself on the way home in her cage. when she goes to the vet she also goes savage wolverine on the dr's and gets so worked up she poops herself in the process, she REALLY doesn't like being away from her home or interacting with people/animals she doesn't know. ( assuming because of her past, i severely hate who ever did her harm..) 

some of my friends she's gotten used to by now but even the vet we always have the same dr and she just doesn't want any part of it. I'm hoping when I eventually move out again I can find a place that's safe for her to go out ( at least safer than my area now ) i think going outside will do wonders for her.