My cats hate each other, in desperate need for help!

[nocturnal]

Hi,

I picked up a house cat turned stray a while back and finally got her to become a domestic cat again. She is shy with everyone but me but a lap crazy 4 year old spayed black and white beauty.

Due to circumstances I ended up adopting a 2 month old kitty, now 3 year old, and ever since then life has been hell. The kitty is playful and jumps on the big cat who answers by growling, hissing, showing her teeth, ears flattened and will strike back. They always fight, so much so I cannot have them in the same room.

The big cat seems absolutely terrified of the little terrorist. I've tried feeding them treats at the same time so that they might bond, they stop fighting long enough to eat and then get right back to it again. I've tried getting them used to each other's scent by using towels and such that I rub on their fur but they flat out ignored it. I am running out of options, my apartment is too small so I have to keep the kitty in my room most of the time which is unfair to the poor creature, I'm sure!

This has been going on for a whole month. I know cats often take a while to get used to each other but the situation does not seem to be improving. Fortunately the big cat does not use her claws nor does she bite but I still fear for the kitty's safety.

What should I do? If it is hopeless then I need to find a new home for the kitty, it will break my heart to part with her but it may be for the best...on the other hand I want to try everything I possibly can before I make that decision. Which is why I am turning to you all.

 

[katluver4life]

Hello, I'm sorry your going through this and I know how frustrating it can be. Did you do slow introductions using this guide? http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats. If not, then try the tips in that article.

I would also invest in a couple of feliway diffusers, one for the main living area and one for your room. These can help in calming them.

 

[nocturnal]

Thanks for your reply, the guide has some very good ideas but I'm afraid it's too late for that kind of approach with my cats.

I did try to seclude the kitty at first (and as things turned out she is still secluded) but she hated it and meowed crazily so I let her out far too early and ended up in this situation. The scented towels simply do not seem to work at all but I will keep trying, maybe some more rubbing will do the trick, let the scent really get soaked up.

I do not think we have feliway in my country, at least I never heard or saw it but I'll see if I can find it. If necessary I can order it online. I most definitely need something to calm them down!

Water spraying does not work because the kitty likes water...in fact she splashes all over her water bowl much to my chagrin.

I think the big cat is regressing into feral behavior. Not with me but with the kitty. When the big cat lived on the street I saw her hissing at other cats every now and then, never quite as bad as this, though. If only the kitty was not so bubbly and did not pounce on the big cat and chase her around at any given opportunity...if she just let the big cat be I'm sure they'd eventually learn to coexist.

 

[katluver4life]

It's never too late to do reintroductions. It is frequently done when there are sudden changes and cats turn on each other. I would definitely try this approach.

Spraying with water is strongly discouraged as a discipline tool. Here is a good article regarding this http://www.thecatsite.com/a/cats-and-discipline-dont-mix

I would use scent swapping. Use towels with both their scents combined, and use this to feed them both on. Since the older bigger cat is the one having problems accepting the newer kitty, I would use towels with the kitty's scent to have the big cat play on, eat on, sleep on. You need to refresh the scents often. I would also try using 1 grooming brush on them both. All these things should help your big cat learn that  good feelings come with the other kitty's scent. If she likes catnip, you could use that on something with the kitty's scent also.

I would also try wearing the 3 yr old out with some vigorous play times. Wand toys or a laser work well. Really wear him out. This may make him leave her alone more.

Does the big cat have high places she can escape to? Giving her places she can get away from him may make things easier too. Such as a cat tree or even shelving.

Hope some of this helps. Good luck and keep us posted. Of course we love pictures too!

 

 

[nocturnal]

Thank you so much for your help!

I'll try the towels again. Yes, the big cat has some high places she can escape to and she oftens does just that, perches herself on a shelf and watches the kitty closely. Using the same brush is a great idea, I'll most definitely trying that out!

So for now I should keep the kitty secluded and perhaps limit their interaction time to a half an hour or so? Or do away with it altogether?

My mother is thinking about giving the kitty away but I don't want to give up unless there is no other option. And I know many people had cats who fought at first and then became best friends so I am not losing hope yet.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Getting cats used to each other takes lots and lots of time and patience.  I brought a stray turned feral into my house the very end of May.  I have one indoor only cat as well as two other ferals who live in and around my deck.  The new cat and my resident cat have had some major issues.  I did everything very slowly, but not slow enough.  The cats have been adjusting to each other since mid August.  I had moments where I thought I would have to rehome the stray/feral, but knew he would most likely be unadoptable and it would be so traumatic for him.  I stuck it out.  I did reintroductions all over again, this time even more slowly.  I also used a large dog crate.  I would cover it on 3 sides with a sheet and allow the cats to sniff.  I would then reward them with yummy chicken.  I did this 2-3x a day for 10 days gradually increasing their time together.  Next I moved to separating them with a gate and playing with them as well as using chicken.  They now can be out and about together during the day, but the new cat goes into a separate bedroom at night.  I would definitely have a safe space for the stray you brought in.  Give her her own room and places to hide and feel safe.  Play with the cats. 

I also used Composure feline treats as well as Composure liquid Max.  It really helped to calm the cats and allow them to think clearly instead of wanting to kill each other.  The boys had numerous fights that ended with fur everywhere.  I used the Composure 2x a day and doubled the dose for awhile.  You can also try Spirit Essences from Jackson Galaxay.  He is from the Animal Planet show "My Cat From H*ll". 

Some cats will get along right away and others will take months and months.  The stray/feral I brought in had been living outside for well over a year.  He was an unneutered male who fought for his territory.  I neutered him last March and he calmed quite a bit.  Yet his drive for territory was very strong.  I had to give him lots of love and attention to make sure he knew that he did not have to fight for space.  He usually hangs out with me where my office is in the back of the house.  The resident cat hangs out in the front of the house.  They do cross paths, but at they are no longer attacking each other.  They are now getting to know each other.  You just need to have lots of time and patience and commit to helping the cats get along.  They may never be best buds, but they can learn to coexist.

 

[nocturnal]

I never leave the cats together unattended. My ex-feral cat is actually perfectly adapted to living indoors, she loved my lap and sleeps with me almost every night. For a while she would not even enter my room, though, because it smelled too much like the kitty but she got over that. A small victory.

I think I'll start from square one and keep the kitty isolated while I introduce the scents. I could feed them together as they won't fight while they eat but it's not worth it, the fighting begins as soon as they run out of treats. I've been looking for a dog crate but they do not sell them at petshops in my country (Portugal is not as fined tuned for pets as other countries) so I'll have to order one online. I've heard that allowing the cats to interact while one in the crate is a good idea and it might be worth a shot but not at the moment.

As I said, the cats will fight a lot but at times the kitty will go her merry way and play with some toys and the big cat will just watch. If the kitty keeps her distance the big cat does not interfere. On the rare occasions I've managed to keep the kitty quiet on my lap the big cat even approached, curious. If the kitty was less schizo it would all be alright by now so things may become a bit less insane once she becomes a little bit older and wiser.

I've tried catnip but none of the cats seems to care for it.

I'll post pictures soon! I've been so stressed out over this that it completely slipped my mind. I feel sorry for the kitty being kept away and meowing so sadly but it can't be helped. Besides, I do play with her a lot and she is extremely friendly.

 

[nocturnal]

Okay, I may have some progress:

I've been using the towel with both cats' scents on the big cat. At first she ignored it as always but I added some catnip and it got her attention. I decided to place the towel on my bed where she likes to sleep. At first she fussed a bit over the towel but eventually went to sleep on top of it.

As I type this she's on my lap, on top of the towel that I just rubbed on the kitty. She also played with the towel a while ago.

So far so good, she seems to be getting used to having the towel around. The kitty remains in isolation, it saddens me but it can't be helped. I do play with her at least thrice a day so she gets a lot of human interaction.

If I were to get them together I suspect they'd still fight like crazy but I understand this will take time.

Next step will be feeding the big cat her favorite treats while the towel is around so that she associates tasty food to the scent of the kitty. I tried feeding them tasty morsels at the same time but it did not work, with the towels I can achieve the same result with no actual fighting.

 

[nocturnal]

Here is the big cat with the towel:

211rkes.jpg

• nocturnal
• Nov 21, 2013

She looks very happy but I'm still not re-introducing the two cats.

 

[drbobcat]

I second this advice.  Cats can, and sometimes must, be reintroduced.  Give it a try.  Once you get them together again, try playing with them together.  I have found that nervous cats can sometimes be calmed and get used to other cats if I play with them together.  Laser lights are great for multiple cats.  Last resort, if you can do it, give them different parts of the house in which to reside.  Some cats never get along, but do fine if they have space to themselves.  I would try this before re-homing the kitten.  

 

[shadowsrescue]

My two do like to play, but I have to have 2 people or they go after each other.  I find it easiest to have 2 of the same toy and have someone help to play with the other cat.  I use feather wands or Da bird.  I still have to watch carefully as if they get too wound up they see it as a sign to attack each other.  I have also found not to use catnip with them at the same time.  It really gets them wired up and on the attack.  I still use catnip but only when they are separated. 

Hopefully things continue to improve for the kitties.

 

[katluver4life]

 
Okay, I may have some progress:

I've been using the towel with both cats' scents on the big cat. At first she ignored it as always but I added some catnip and it got her attention. I decided to place the towel on my bed where she likes to sleep. At first she fussed a bit over the towel but eventually went to sleep on top of it.

As I type this she's on my lap, on top of the towel that I just rubbed on the kitty. She also played with the towel a while ago.

So far so good, she seems to be getting used to having the towel around. The kitty remains in isolation, it saddens me but it can't be helped. I do play with her at least thrice a day so she gets a lot of human interaction.

If I were to get them together I suspect they'd still fight like crazy but I understand this will take time.

Next step will be feeding the big cat her favorite treats while the towel is around so that she associates tasty food to the scent of the kitty. I tried feeding them tasty morsels at the same time but it did not work, with the towels I can achieve the same result with no actual fighting.

Glad the big cat seems to be taking to the kitty's scent. Remember to refresh kitty's scent on that towel frequently.

for continued good progress. Keep us posted.

 

[nocturnal]

Okay, I have reintroduced the cats. They still chase each other around and fight but it seems much more playful than before. For example, the big cat hardly ever growls or hisses anymore. Also, they now have this routine that is almost like tag, the big one will chase the little one under the sofa, then little one will dash out and chase the big one. They can go on like this for hours at a time.

I still do not trust them alone without human presence but I don't think I'll be re-homing the kitty. My heart broke as I thought about giving her away...especially since I know no one who would keep her, I'd be so afraid of her new owners mistreating the poor thing. Kitties are very cute but people often don't realize how difficult to handle they are!

 

[drbobcat]

Sounds like you did it right.  The play you describe is normal for two active cats.  You don't like to see one cat dominating the other, but clearly the kitten really enjoys the game.  Yeah, you're right about kittens.  I try to steer people to older (7-10 months) kittens.  They have developed personalities and generally have started to appreciate people more. 

 

[shadowsrescue]

Thanks so much for the update.  I am happy to hear things continue to improve.  I am sure your heart feels so much better knowing you will be able to keep the kitty and not look for a new home.  I went through a similar situation when my two were not getting along.  I knew I had to stick with it and work very hard as Marvin would be almost impossible to rehome.  I still do not leave my two out together when no one is home.  Yet, I am considering it soon.

Hope everything continues to improve.

 

[mariand]

     I know how distressing it is when your cats don't get along.   Unfortunately you being upset is counter productive.  You need to relax and put on a positive calm attitude.  You have strap in and say to yourself you are going to make it work, really commit.

    One month is nothing when introducing a new member to the house. I have always gone in with the attitude the cats I have will hate the new guy for at least three months.  I keep a new cat in quarantine, one small room with a separate litter box, for at least two weeks, until they have undergone worming and got some vaccines.   Then  you do supervised visits.  I don't think anyone is going to get killed although I'm sure the unrest is upsetting.

    Two things I advise.  One, it sounds like the young one has so much energy and wants to play with the older one.  Exercise the heck out of the kitten for 15 minutes twice a day.  I applied this from watching My Cat From Hell and it really works.  Cats need exercise too.  Do this before the visitations and may be the kitten will be more respectful and show good manners to the senior resident. 

    Second,  make sure they both have areas where they can escape from one another in the common rooms.  shelf/ steps on the wall to go up works well in a small space.  

Stick with it.  It'll be fine. 

 

 

[nocturnal]

I'll try to tire the kitty before their time daily time together to if it helps. They are getting much better although I doubt they will ever be good friends.

Both cats have their 'safe' places, kitty hides under the sofa and the tea table while the big cat perches royally on shelves. I just got the kitty and brand new litter box but she likes to use the big cat's whenever she gets the chance. I have no idea why but that's kitties for you!

 

[nocturnal]

Today for the first time the big cat jumped on my lap while the little kitty was around. Normally the big cat is on permanent alert mode whenever the kitty is present and won't jump on my lap or even play. I was very happy. Also, the kitty is perhaps calming down a bit...she finally started to use her bed and blanket, I also got her a proper litter box that is even bigger than the big cat's. Kitty uses the new box with no problem but whenever she can she will also use the big cat's. I wonder why? Something to do with territory, perhaps?

They still chase each other around but the growling and hissing has become much rarer. Occasional rougher moments do happen but I do not think the kitty is in any actual danger. She is a dapper critter and loves to chase after a cat twice her size! The craziness!
 

I still need to find a way to keep her from jumping on the kitchen counter (and hiding in the sink!) and even worse of jumping inside the toilet bowl...! Kitties are fearless and insane creatures!

 

[mariand]

It is wonderful of you to give us an update.  It sounds like things are headed in good direction.

My Tuxedo MN, 10  was a mess when rescued a 2yr old MN grey tuxedo.  It took over three months and now they are actually buddies.

IMG_3309.JPG

• mariand
• Dec 11, 2013

 

[nocturnal]

Time for an update! My cats still fight every now and then but they spend a lot of time together without any strife. Right now they are on opposite sides of the sofa, quietly ignoring each other which is wonderful. Here they are:

2db2gyh.jpg

• nocturnal
• Feb 5, 2014

It may not seem much but I am thrilled, if they can just live and let live I am happy!