My Cats Don’t Get Along Anymore - Help!!!

[Threecozycats]

We have a 3 cat household, two of which are littermates (3.5 year old male & female). The siblings got along just fine until about 1.5 years ago when the female started growling/hissing at the male every time he walked in The room and/or attacking him just for walking by. Want to say this started after a vet visit for maybe the male being sick but cannot remember as it was so long ago. This behavior has progressively gotten worse despite feliway diffusers and calming collars. Just today they had such a bad fight that resulted in each other’s fur being pulled out. Should point out that it is always the female starting the fights never the other way around. Both cats have gotten a clean bill of health twice during the course of this behavior. However, it has gotten to the point where they cannot even be in the same room together and the female pretty much has isolated herself to our bedroom. Now the male is exhibiting anxiety and anxious behaviors and the fighting has gotten significantly worse. Is there any way to manage this now that it has been going on for so long? Feel like we have tried everything under the sun. Should also mention that both of the littermates get along just fine with our third cat who is an estimated 11-12 years old and has been to the vet many times for medical issues. We really don’t know what to do at this point - vet has suggested separating them and feels that the female may just want to be an only cat but we have a hard time believing that since she gets along fine with our other cat. Please help!!!!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

As distressing as this is, it can be fixed. You are going to go back to ground zero, and re-introduce these cats as if they were total strangers. It does take time, it can take weeks, but it also can be done! I'm giving you the links to some articles that will help you along the way!
Introducing Cats To Cats
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide
How To Deal With Non-recognition Aggression In Cats (I'm betting that this is what happened)

Let me know how things progress!

 

[Threecozycats]

As distressing as this is, it can be fixed. You are going to go back to ground zero, and re-introduce these cats as if they were total strangers. It does take time, it can take weeks, but it also can be done! I'm giving you the links to some articles that will help you along the way!
Introducing Cats To Cats
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide
How To Deal With Non-recognition Aggression In Cats (I'm betting that this is what happened)

Let me know how things progress!

Thank you so much! We are thinking it’s non-recognition aggression as welll just was not sure how to go about solving the issue since it’s been going on for so long. Do you think that totally separating them for a period of maybe 2 weeks would do the trick? My mom is willing to take the aggressor to her house for the time being (we have a rather small house and don’t have a way to truly separate them at this time). Then slowly reintroducing each other’s scent over another week?

 

[margd]

It is best if you can perform the introductions in the house since one of the things contributes to its success is that both cats are aware of each others presence. Depending on how your house is laid out, you may be able to keep them totally separated by putting up gates, or even temporarily installing a screen door. (We've had members do that). Still, if the only option is keeping one of them at your mom's house, a reintroduction may still work. In addition to regular scent swapping, try territory swapping so that Sister Cat knows that her brother was in your mom's house while she (Sister Cat) was at yours. Rather than suggesting a set time period, I would play this by ear. Two weeks may be more than enough time, or it may not be enough. If you set it up and then let us know how it is going, we can try to help you from here.

I agree with you that Sister Cat is not acting up because she wants to be an only cat. As you pointed out, if she did she wouldn't get along so well with Older Cat. This may have begun as a case of non-aggression recognition but by now they've had enough hostile interactions that the treatments for non-aggression recognition won't help.

There is something that you can try if the reintroduction doesn't work and that is medication. We generally recommend that as a last resort but you may be there. It sounds like you've tried all of the usual calming aids without success and you mentioned that Brother Cat is now exhibiting anxiety and anxious behaviors. The latter can get worse as time goes by and you do want help him feel comfortable and relaxed in his home again. Discuss the various options with your vet. The SSRIs like Prozac and Zoloft have been very helpful in reducing aggression. Gabapentin, an anticonvulsant, has proven to be extremely effective in treating cats who are frightened of going to the vet and is being used with increasing frequency as a maintenance medication treating cats who are anxious as well as cats who are aggressive.

One question: Will your mom take Sister Cat permanently if it comes to that?

Best of luck with this. Please let us know how it goes. These situations are stressful for humans and felines alike so I'm hoping that peace reigns in your household soon.

 

[Threecozycats]

Thank you so much for the advice!! It really is distressing being in this situation. Will discuss it with my husband tonight and decide which route we want to take. My mom actually wants to take sister cat permanently but I’m having a hard time with the idea of giving her up as she’s been with me since 6 weeks of age. So we know that if the reintroduction doesn’t go smoothly she will have a warm & loving home where we can make regular visits.

 

[margd]

I hope it does not come to Sister Cat moving in with your Mom permanently but it's terrific that you have that option!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

margd 's advice made me think of a thing...should you want to exhaust all avenues, but don't want to go right to heavier meds, you can try giving your problem child 1-3 tsp of chamomile tea up to 3 times a day. Just brew a cup, chill it in the fridge, and administer via syringe. You'll know within a day or three if it is going to help, and it certainly won't hurt.

 

[Threecozycats]

I know it has been a while since I posted but wanted to let you all know that sister cat is now living with my mom and loving life. Apparently she was yearning to be an only child as she's a completely different cat now that she's the only one in the house. She has so much more personality and kitten-like play behaviors there! So overall, we are very happy with that decision. Now if only we could solve brother cats lingering anxious behaviors! Will be speaking with the vet this week as not much has helped him to relax even without the tension of having her in the house.