My cats are violent with each other...

[mccoolist]

Hey Cat lovers,

I am feeling hopeless--and could really use help.

I adopted Soleil when she was 12 weeks old.
She was the runt of her litter and they were found, motherless and had to be bottle fed. She spent time with her litter mates until I adopted her, but maybe had not socialized enough.
Within a few months, she began attacking me, with no warning signals. I would play with her for an hour, make sure her environment was stimulating--but, to this day, she has dilated pupils and looks like she is scared and ready to attack at any moment, for reasons unknown.

My vet encouraged me to adopt another cat, so she could have a playmate.
Soleil was 1 1/2 when I adopted Remy. Remy comes from the exact opposite background. She is confident, playful, warm, and was fearless--until recently.
After the initial week of being separate and Soleil hissing at the new kitty-- they actually grew to like each other. They would sleep near each other, had no problems with food. Their play has always seemed too rough, (to me), but they never hurt each other.

Then, about a month ago, I accidentally stepped on Remy's tail and she screeched and went running.
Soleil, always quick to come to Remy's meow--was right there, and they ended up fighting so viciously.
I was hysterical. (Which I know doesn't help)
Now, every time they hear a noise or the other cat even jumps from a perch to the floor--they end up fighting, violently.
It is so awful. I feel like they are terrified of each other and nothing I have tried is helping.

I live in a tiny 1 bedroom apt, so its difficult to separate them. When I do--they just meow and scratch at the door, non-stop.
I have separate bowls and litters. I have built a playscape around most of the upper walls perimeter. There is a 20 foot tree to climb and several perches.
I plugged in the Feliway, pheromone....
I try to play with them separately and give them treats when they are near each other and calm.
I also hired a Cat Behaviorist--that just gave me the same tips I researched online.

I know it takes patience--but this is so hard on them and I have lost so much sleep--
trying to get out ahead of the triggers that cause these fights.
It doesn't seem like they will ever have a peaceful relationship.

Please, if anyone has any advice--it would be so appreciated.
I am so exhausted.

Thanks, in advance.

 

[Furballsmom]

You made it here, good for you and bless your heart!!
There is another thread, if I recall correctly, that was rather similar where two kitties were friends until someone accidentally stepped on one's tail...let me go look for it.

 

[FeebysOwner]

While Furballsmom searches for that other thread, you might also consider re-introducing them. Sometimes, re-directed or non-recognition aggression ends up being handled by going through the introduction process.

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

 

[mccoolist]

Thank you so much Furballsmom--
I really appreciate you getting bak to me!

 

[Furballsmom]

Stepped on one cats tail by accident, now my cats are fighting.

So a little preface. We have 2 cats, Spaz is 5 almost 6 and we’ve had her since she was 6 weeks, and Renny who is 1 and we’ve had since he was 5 months. They’ve gotten along perfectly fine the 6 months we’ve had him, other than Renny playing too rough sometimes but that has been easily...

thecatsite.com

Things calmed down more quickly for those kitties than for yours, but there are a couple things in the thread that might help. Feebysowner just posted the other two articles I was thinking of

Do you know if there are other animals in the apartment building? I'm wondering if that's something which disturbed Soleil early on, and maybe is now as well/again. There's not a whole lot a person can do about that, but at least you'd have something of an idea of what else might be going on. I've read of people utilizing a small fan for white noise (directed so that it doesn't cause cold drafts).

I think I'd remove the feliway - I've read where the pheromone has made things worse. There are other calming products available, and although some people don't believe in them, sometimes they work well.

Along with the things in the list below, there is low volume classical harp music, and also try a heating pad set on low and covered with Soleil's favorite blanket or an article of your clothing.

Only Natural Pet has a calming product called Just Relax Calming spray with essential oil (catnip oil).

Richard's Organics Pet Calm-this one is drops that you put on the tip of the tongue. Also, HomeoPet Anxiety Relief, Relaxivet Quiet Moments Cat treats, GNC Calming formula, and there is Calm-o-mile, --Sentry has products, there's Natures Miracle calming spray, Vetri-Science's Composure is another item to look at, as is Essential Pet Pet-eze, Pet Organics No Stress, Only Natural Pet (brand and website) has other calming products, Pet Naturals also has one I believe.

Maybe a thundershirt? These can't be left on the pet for very long but could be useful if there is some particularly stressful thing occurring. There are also calming collars that some people have had good luck using, but if you try one be sure it's a breakaway style.

There is also a product called a lickimat which could be helpful, as cats can be calmed by the process of licking. The LickiMat - Food Puzzles for Cats

This post talks about some other products;
Calming Treats For A Very Picky Cat

 

[ArtNJ]

The things most likely to work are drugs, reintroduction and maybe time. Relying on time when they are violently fighting is obviously a bad idea -- might not work at all, and there might be injuries. Drugs is not a great solution either, since your vet may not be willing, and it may take quite a dossage to make a difference. As annoying as it is in a one bedroom with them scratching away, a reintroduction seems like the best thing to try -- possibly with some medication to take the edge off, if the vet will go for it.

I'm not a huge believe in any of the other stuff because I'm a science guy. Try it if you like, not likely to hurt and your in a tough situation. But I'd tough out a reintroduction, with vet provided med help to take the edge off if the vet will go for it, or without it if not.

I don't mean to be a debbie downer, but you also need to look ahead and find a solution you are comfortable with possibly repeating in however long. Realistically, your probably not going to go through life without stepping on your cat again, dropping a dish or what not. In a house, a cat prone to this maybe doesn't get triggered again. In a one bedroom, I think you have to realize its likely. Maybe six months, two years or never, but I wouldn't bet on never. Bringing this up because if the situation is seeming totally impossible, maybe, just maybe, you need to start to think about rehoming one. I'd certainly try to tough out a reintroduction first . . . but if that isn't working, it might be time to start thinking about it. Real violence is not sustainable in the long run. Its miserable for the cats, and sooner or later, real injuries will probably crop up.

 

[mccoolist]

Hi ArtNJ

Thank you so much for your response and I appreciate your advice.
To be totally honest— every time there’s been a problem, it is because of Soleil. And I Know that it isn’t her fault. But she is so unpredictable. She has snapped at both of my young nephews who were not trying to pet her, but were close by.
It’s so hard to read signals—because even when she is laying on her back, stomach exposed, purring—she will just strike her paw at me, out of nowhere.
I feel devastated, when I consider re-homing. Because if I don’t have the patience and kindness to figure this out—who is going to want to take care of a cat like this?
And I really do love her. I don’t want to give up.
But, you are absolutely right—
There are so many noises that I have no control over! And every time they fight, I have to start the process all over again.

Finally, I am so conflicted with the whole medication for animals thing.
I appreciate the fact that chemicals can provide balance—but how long do you have to use these meds? And I feel sad to think that I’m forcing her to take drugs.
I really don’t know what to do.

Meanwhile, I have built a tall, metal, gate that is anchored between rooms—so that I don’t have to shut the doors.
I’m going to see if it helps them to be able to see each other, while they are separated.

Thank you, again, for taking time to respond.

 

[Furballsmom]

Try the music, try a white noise fan, try a heating pad set on low with a towel or favorite blanket over it...

Help Soleil to be able to deal with the stress that she is experiencing.

 

[Furballsmom]

but how long do you have to use these meds?

Not necessarily for a long time, the idea is to get her calm so she doesn't redirect aggression onto the other kitty, and then once you achieve that again, that they live in harmony as they did prior.

Think positive!! That's very important here, since your emotions matter a great deal and can effect your cats.

Try chamomile tea for yourself, and speaking of, all the things I listed above in my other posts, ARE NOT drugs. Have you removed the pheromone diffuser?

You can even use chamomile tea for her;

From Mamanyt1953 ;

syringe 3 teaspoonfuls of chamomile tea (chilled), 3 times a day. I recommend using the bags from the coffee/tea aisle, since those are all German chamomile. The English kind that grows so often in gardens, is toxic to cats. Just don't get chamomile blended with something else. It will be clearly marked if it is.

Yes, Soleil is a stressed cat, so keeping her in a room when you have noisy kids visiting is a good idea and better for her. That's what I do for my boy, and he's a lot more calm when the visit is over and he comes back out into the main part of the living space.

Again, think positively and keep thinking proactively! Try the things I've suggested, and let us know how the screen works, good for you that you did that!

 

[Furballsmom]

It’s so hard to read signals—because even when she is laying on her back, stomach exposed, purring—she will just strike her paw at me, out of nowhere.

By the way, lying on their back can be a sign of contentment, but not an invitation for belly rubs.

My boy does the same thing, but he doesn't want rubs. He doesn't like belly rubs, and Mother Dragon also has a kitty who lies on his back, tummy exposed with his paws in the air, but he'll swipe in all seriousness if someone tries to give him a belly rub.