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My Cat Was With Me Throughout My Entire Adult Life And Now He's Gone

Discussion in 'Crossing the Bridge' started by Cara80, Jun 16, 2019.

  1. Cara80

    Cara80 Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    May 4, 2018
    It's been about 10 days since I said goodbye to Buddy, this hurts so much. Everyday i'm reminded of him in some way and start crying. I really miss Buddy especially at night and in the morning, he was such a good snuggler :( I keep looking at kittens and cats up for adoption and hoping i'll be ready soon to adopt, but then i'll see a cat that looks like Buddy and start sobbing. Ugh, I feel like this may be a tough Summer
    KittyCatCove, PushPurrCatPaws and cat nap purraised this.

  2. cat nap

    cat nap TCS Member Top Cat

    Jan 31, 2014
    @Cara80 ... I hope your pain in grief, and sadness, lessens with each day, and week that goes by. It does take awhile, though, and it's different for every cat.
    Maybe, being reminded of Buddy, can be looked at as a good thing, even though it does make you cry. The tears you release are just your overflowing emotions, that have to come out, to lessen the sadness in your heart and mind. To lessen the sadness of you missing Buddy.

    (I'm pretty sure that the cats we lose, who we loved and love us, are up there thinking, "Hey, I was only meant to be with you for such, and such, a time, now I gotta go do my thing, while you do yours. ...And what's wrong with the waterworks in your eyes? It must be dust, right? (okay, that last part was a bad joke, but that's what I tend to hear in my head.:clover:)

    Just give yourself more time, Cara80. If it helps you to post photos of Buddy, or to write about him, then do whatever you think might help. If photos are hard, then writing might work. Sending you vibes of Strength. :vibes::hearthrob:
    KittyCatCove and PushPurrCatPaws purraised this.

  3. aradasky

    aradasky TCS Member Adult Cat

    Sep 15, 2014
    The most guilt I have ever had about any of my many cats crossing over was when I waited too long and she was in pain.
    KittyCatCove purraised this.

  4. Cara80

    Cara80 Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    May 4, 2018
    I'm still missing Buddy so much but would like to look into adopting a new cat or kitten. The problem is, it's just so overwhelming and i've never felt like that after losing a cat and adopting a new kitty. I'm not sure if this anxiety is a fear of change? I'm worried that a new cat won't be able to bond with me or I won't be able to bond well with them. There's also this fear that i've forgotten how to care for young cats, because I haven't done that in almost 2 decades.

    I've thought about adopting a bonded pair, to make sure they really love each other. But a few of the bonded pairs have a fur pattern like Buddy had and I just don't want a reminder that he's gone by getting a cat that looks too much like him. Also I know this sounds silly, but I'd like another male and female pair that's not too old (under 6), and would like one adult and one kitten. I think i'm just too picky to adopt a pair, or I suppose I could wait to see if there are pairs like i'm looking for.

    I don't know, I think maybe i'm just overthinking everything and should just go to the shelter to see if I'm actually ready to adopt. I've emailed the shelter a few times asking about a couple cats that are in foster care. One of the cats needed to be the only pet in the household, so that didn't work out. The other cat I've yet to hear back about, she's a cute 1 year old 5lb tortie and i'm hoping she gets along with other cats and kittens because I can't imagine owning just one cat. Buddy was so sweet and patient with our little girl cat that he bonded with, it's really important to me to have cats that love one another again.
    Furballsmom and white shadow purraised this.

  5. di and bob

    di and bob TCS Member Top Cat

    Dec 12, 2012
    Nebraska, USA
    Just take your time. There are ALWAYS bonded cats that come to the shelter, any shelter, that desperately need a home and it breaks my heart to see them broke up.
    To distract your grieving heart by caring for new loves is always welcome. Buddy will always have a special place in your heart, but there is infinite room for more. You learn to live and love in time, one day at a time........
    will2002 and Furballsmom purraised this.

  6. will2002

    will2002 TCS Member Adult Cat

    Oct 12, 2018
    This post said exactly what I've been thinking all along, as I read this thread...exactly!
    di and bob purraised this.

  7. Cara80

    Cara80 Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    May 4, 2018
    I found a cute bonded pair at the shelter! There's a 4 month old black girl kitten and a 1 year old white male kitty. I was really drawn to this pair after the shelter described the kitten as shy and the adult male as rambunctious and playful. I was told they really compliment each other and the kitten is helping the male kitty with his lively behavior.

    I've had a soft spot for shy cats for a while, I got my very first cat when I was 5 years old and he was quite shy and timid but so gentle and sweet. The cat I had that passed on about 3 years ago was also incredibly timid and anxious, she barely came out from under the couch for months after I first got her. After about 5-6 months she started to bond with me, then never really left my side for 16 years. She loved to be held, picked up, and would even want to sit on my lap while at the dinner table (I know, not the best manners but I didn't care). Buddy was also a really good companion for her since he was a very social and confident cat, she would watch his actions and learn from him. The two were so sweet together.

    I know this new pair will have their very own personalities and quirks, so I'm not comparing them to my past cats. I'm just very excited to learn about them and will get to meet them once the foster coordinator at the shelter gets in touch with the people fostering them. I'm hoping they're a good fit for me and we all get along.

    Although i'm excited, there's also this reality i'm having to face that Buddy is really gone and i'm going to start a new chapter in life. Sometimes it's just so hard to believe because for the past 2 years, any time we took him to the vet he bounced back to his old self once we would add something like a new supplement, medication or change in diet. It was almost like Buddy was invincible. Now here I am thinking that if I get these new cats, when I take them in for their first visit, i'm going to have to tell my vet that Buddy is gone and i'm really dreading that :( Everyone at the vet's office loved Buddy and have been so great to us over the past few years, I really hate having to give them the bad news.

    Anyways, thanks for letting me ramble on. It's been really therapeutic for me to post here. I do read through other posts here on the rainbow bridge forum, and although I don't usually respond because I'm not sure what to say, I do think about all of you who have recently lost your dear kitties. I'm sorry you're also going through this heartache and hope you can also find a way to heal

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