My Cat Was With Me Throughout My Entire Adult Life And Now He's Gone

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Cara80

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It's been about 10 days since I said goodbye to Buddy, this hurts so much. Everyday i'm reminded of him in some way and start crying. I really miss Buddy especially at night and in the morning, he was such a good snuggler :( I keep looking at kittens and cats up for adoption and hoping i'll be ready soon to adopt, but then i'll see a cat that looks like Buddy and start sobbing. Ugh, I feel like this may be a tough Summer
 

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C Cara80 ... I hope your pain in grief, and sadness, lessens with each day, and week that goes by. It does take awhile, though, and it's different for every cat.
Maybe, being reminded of Buddy, can be looked at as a good thing, even though it does make you cry. The tears you release are just your overflowing emotions, that have to come out, to lessen the sadness in your heart and mind. To lessen the sadness of you missing Buddy.

(I'm pretty sure that the cats we lose, who we loved and love us, are up there thinking, "Hey, I was only meant to be with you for such, and such, a time, now I gotta go do my thing, while you do yours. ...And what's wrong with the waterworks in your eyes? It must be dust, right? (okay, that last part was a bad joke, but that's what I tend to hear in my head.:clover:)

Just give yourself more time, Cara80. If it helps you to post photos of Buddy, or to write about him, then do whatever you think might help. If photos are hard, then writing might work. Sending you vibes of Strength. :vibes::hearthrob:
 

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Thanks for all the kind responses. I feel like Friday after Buddy left us, there was a sense of calmness. I was at peace knowing that he led a very long, full life and earlier when I asked my Vet if he was in pain she said no, but that he was probably feeling very tired and weak from the low red blood cells. It was comforting knowing that he left this world without feeling pain and was surrounded by the two people he loved the most.

We had lost another cat over 2 years ago that was close with Buddy, and we waited too long to help her cross over. She was all skin and bones, her fur was a spiky dry mess, she couldn't groom herself anymore, smelled terrible, didn't recognize us anymore and had labored breathing. When we finally arrived at the Vet that day to say goodbye, it was awful and in a state of panic because we were so scared of seeing her get even worse before they could get the sedation and final injection in. I vowed to never again let an animal get that sick. Our poor cat, she didn't get to enjoy her last meal, or last day in the sun, we couldn't love on her and tell her goodbye because she was so out of it. Her last days, hours, minutes were filled with fear, confusion, pain and didn't deserve any of it because she was such a wonderful companion for 16 years.

I will tell you that the amount of pain, grief and regret with her loss was magnified at a level nowhere close to what we've been dealing with after losing Buddy. Buddy's death was kind, dignified and peaceful, and that's exactly what he deserved.

Still though, we're missing Buddy so much. What's funny is that we aren't just sad, but my boyfriend and I were talking about how boring our house is without him. Each morning i'd wake up and find him to say good morning, he'd rub up against me, sometimes follow me into the kitchen while I made coffee, or into the bathroom while my boyfriend was brushing his teeth. On days my boyfriend had off, he would bring Buddy to sit on his lap on a rocking chair by the window while we'd have our morning coffee. We'd give Buddy his breakfast, then his blood pressure medicine and steroids for his IBD. Most of the time Buddy would then spend the day with me on his heated pet bed that we placed on the couch between the two of us. Once my boyfriend came home from work, Buddy would walk on the couch to my boyfriend's side for chin scratches, then walk over to my side for some more love. We had our routine at night to give him sub q fluids, and he was always so patient. Afterwords, he would walk to the bedroom to wait for us, and wouldn't lay down to get comfy until both of us were in the room. This wonderful routine is now gone, and there's all this empty time and space in the home :(
The most guilt I have ever had about any of my many cats crossing over was when I waited too long and she was in pain.
 
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Cara80

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I'm still missing Buddy so much but would like to look into adopting a new cat or kitten. The problem is, it's just so overwhelming and i've never felt like that after losing a cat and adopting a new kitty. I'm not sure if this anxiety is a fear of change? I'm worried that a new cat won't be able to bond with me or I won't be able to bond well with them. There's also this fear that i've forgotten how to care for young cats, because I haven't done that in almost 2 decades.

I've thought about adopting a bonded pair, to make sure they really love each other. But a few of the bonded pairs have a fur pattern like Buddy had and I just don't want a reminder that he's gone by getting a cat that looks too much like him. Also I know this sounds silly, but I'd like another male and female pair that's not too old (under 6), and would like one adult and one kitten. I think i'm just too picky to adopt a pair, or I suppose I could wait to see if there are pairs like i'm looking for.

I don't know, I think maybe i'm just overthinking everything and should just go to the shelter to see if I'm actually ready to adopt. I've emailed the shelter a few times asking about a couple cats that are in foster care. One of the cats needed to be the only pet in the household, so that didn't work out. The other cat I've yet to hear back about, she's a cute 1 year old 5lb tortie and i'm hoping she gets along with other cats and kittens because I can't imagine owning just one cat. Buddy was so sweet and patient with our little girl cat that he bonded with, it's really important to me to have cats that love one another again.
 

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Just take your time. There are ALWAYS bonded cats that come to the shelter, any shelter, that desperately need a home and it breaks my heart to see them broke up.
To distract your grieving heart by caring for new loves is always welcome. Buddy will always have a special place in your heart, but there is infinite room for more. You learn to live and love in time, one day at a time........
 

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Just take your time. There are ALWAYS bonded cats that come to the shelter, any shelter, that desperately need a home and it breaks my heart to see them broke up.
To distract your grieving heart by caring for new loves is always welcome. Buddy will always have a special place in your heart, but there is infinite room for more. You learn to live and love in time, one day at a time........
This post said exactly what I've been thinking all along, as I read this thread...exactly!
 
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Cara80

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I found a cute bonded pair at the shelter! There's a 4 month old black girl kitten and a 1 year old white male kitty. I was really drawn to this pair after the shelter described the kitten as shy and the adult male as rambunctious and playful. I was told they really compliment each other and the kitten is helping the male kitty with his lively behavior.

I've had a soft spot for shy cats for a while, I got my very first cat when I was 5 years old and he was quite shy and timid but so gentle and sweet. The cat I had that passed on about 3 years ago was also incredibly timid and anxious, she barely came out from under the couch for months after I first got her. After about 5-6 months she started to bond with me, then never really left my side for 16 years. She loved to be held, picked up, and would even want to sit on my lap while at the dinner table (I know, not the best manners but I didn't care). Buddy was also a really good companion for her since he was a very social and confident cat, she would watch his actions and learn from him. The two were so sweet together.

I know this new pair will have their very own personalities and quirks, so I'm not comparing them to my past cats. I'm just very excited to learn about them and will get to meet them once the foster coordinator at the shelter gets in touch with the people fostering them. I'm hoping they're a good fit for me and we all get along.

Although i'm excited, there's also this reality i'm having to face that Buddy is really gone and i'm going to start a new chapter in life. Sometimes it's just so hard to believe because for the past 2 years, any time we took him to the vet he bounced back to his old self once we would add something like a new supplement, medication or change in diet. It was almost like Buddy was invincible. Now here I am thinking that if I get these new cats, when I take them in for their first visit, i'm going to have to tell my vet that Buddy is gone and i'm really dreading that :( Everyone at the vet's office loved Buddy and have been so great to us over the past few years, I really hate having to give them the bad news.

Anyways, thanks for letting me ramble on. It's been really therapeutic for me to post here. I do read through other posts here on the rainbow bridge forum, and although I don't usually respond because I'm not sure what to say, I do think about all of you who have recently lost your dear kitties. I'm sorry you're also going through this heartache and hope you can also find a way to heal
 
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Cara80

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I forgot to update, I ended up adopting the two bonded cats!!!!! The black kitten is just the sweetest little thing, she loves when you talk to her and enjoys tummy pets. The white kitty is full of energy and loves to explore.
Other than a few incidents peeing outside the litter box, things are going really well
 

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I forgot to update, I ended up adopting the two bonded cats!!!!! The black kitten is just the sweetest little thing, she loves when you talk to her and enjoys tummy pets. The white kitty is full of energy and loves to explore.
Other than a few incidents peeing outside the litter box, things are going really well
I second and third the above comments, from Furballsmom Furballsmom and jefferd18 jefferd18 .:thumbsup:

Thank you, so much, for posting this update, and attaching these beautiful photos.:loveeyes:
It really made my day, and your awesome photos just lifted my spirits, at a time when I really needed it.
(Well, actually, any time I see beautiful, awesome cat photos...it makes me smile...what can I say, I think we are all like that.:blush:)

I know that your rainbow Buddy and his sister cat, are smiling down on you, and your new crew.
(cats probably smile with their eyes, tails, or purrs...I don't know.)

C Cara80 ...If you have the time, I'd love to hear more about your new fur pack.
Like their names, and more about their personalities.
They look very cozy, or is that only when they sleep?.😊
(Not sure where you post it...New Cats...Photo threads...etc., but if you do, just tell us here.)

(If you do have more problems with peeing outside the box...I think that may be Cat Behaviour or Cat Grooming.)
These articles might help.16 Experts Reveal The Most Common Litterbox Mistakes (and How To Avoid Them)
How To Solve Litterbox Problems In Cats: The Ultimate Guide
litterbox problems
I wish you, and your fur crew, all the best... on this new adventure.:blackcat::kitty:
 
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KittyCatCove

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I forgot to update, I ended up adopting the two bonded cats!!!!! The black kitten is just the sweetest little thing, she loves when you talk to her and enjoys tummy pets. The white kitty is full of energy and loves to explore.
Other than a few incidents peeing outside the litter box, things are going really well
That is so adorable! You did the same thing I would... you did not break up that bonded pair. They love you for it too!

My Blackie also loves her tummy petted.

So, what did you name them?
 

mackiemac

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I am so sorry for your loss. Buddy had much love and a wonderful family who took great care of him. It is said that when humans pass away, their hearing is the last thing to go. So even as Buddy was beginning his journey across the Bridge to Star Clan, I am sure that he heard your love for him, and he knew that you wanted to spare him from the pain and sickness. Cats are incredibly intelligent and intuitive, and they can sense so much more than most realize.

Rest in peace, Buddy. You live among the stars now. May your star always shine bright. For as long as your memory lives, you are always here. 🌈🌟
 
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