My Cat Is Unfriendly To Anyone Who Isn’t Family.

[catalinacat]

She is use to the four of us (me, my parents, and sibling) who have lived with her and been around her since she was a kitten, but she seems to despise everyone else, and I realize this could be an issue up ahead as circumstances can change. (Like what if I get married? What if there is someone new in our lives long term? What if at some point I move out and get roommates?)

We don’t have a lot of guests come over either, we’re often the ones going over to theirs. But on the occasion they drop by for even a minute she will growl and act very nervous, which is out of character for her at home.

I think it’s becauae the only people she’s ever really was in contact with other than family are the vets. And she hates the vets. She will go feral when placed on the vets table (because she remembers the pain of her spay surgery and thinks she’ll be hurt again) and often need to be sedated for checkups. She also seems to hate other cats (she hisses at the cats at the vets if they get too close to her crate).

And she seemed to associate anyone who isn’t family as vets or as people who aren’t to be trusted.

It doesn’t help that I’m kind of more or less not very social either. So it’s not like I have a lot of people I can help her get use to. She is too much like me.

Idk. Do cats adjust well to new people? What can I do to make sure she’s more flexible? She’s only like a year old so I feel like if I want her to get more exposure in terms of trust maybe it should be done while she is young (Although it probably would’ve helped had that been the case for her as a kitten too).

 

[catlover73]

Some cats are just more social than others. My 12 year old female Starbuck has lived with us since she was 6 weeks old. She did have minor issues that required vet visits when she was a kitten. Once she became an adult she would hide from anyone but us. Starbuck does not hiss or growl she just hides. The best thing you can do is to ask guests in your home to ignore her completely. Starbuck within about the last year is finally letting some of our guests see her. She has also decided that my cat sitter is allowed to pet her now. I really think this change happened because she was given her space to feel safe. My cat sitter knew Starbuck’s hiding spots to check on her but did not try to force interaction. It is possible this behavior could change for your cat. You have to be patient though and move at the cat’s pace. Your cat needs to continue to be allowed to decide who to interact with and be given a safe space to hide when she is scared of guests.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Don't ever let anyone tell you that dogs are the only domesticated species that pick up on their emotions, because it's just plain false. Cats can be more subtle this way but they are usually pretty darned good at reading you and reacting.
You said that you're not very social, either, and there's nothing wrong with that at all.
Even if you have a visitor you like, it might feel different enough to you that she picks up on that and reacts with tension.
At a year old she's going from kitten to adult, and the growling and walking on her toes is probably more insecurity than anything else, totally normal. Some cats run and hide, some cats don't.
I think catlover73 hit the nail right on the head when they suggested to have your guests ignore her.