my cat is mean to my boyfriend

[hil1717]

My boyfriend and I have a siamese little girl. She is almost a year old and has a great personality. When we first got her my boyfriend was always the one who played with her (too rough), they would run around the house after each other having a great time. I was always the one she came to when she was done playing and wanted to snuggle. As she got older and bigger (her bites and scratches hurt more) my boyfriend no longer liked their "play only" relationship. He wanted to hold her and cuddle with her, but she would have none of it. I think that she thinks he is just a big play toy that she can bite and scratch and wrestle with while anytime she feels like it, and I am the one who gets all her affection. I know my boyfriend is sad that he can't even pick her up without her squirming, clawing and crying like he is hurting her or something. In a way I think he caused her to act that way towards him...he did not realize it at the time but he played way too rough with her as a kitten and now when she sees him she is always ready for a wrestle. i know she thinks she is just playing, but she will literally run up to him and attack his arm, she smacked him in the face last night with her claws out. We know that you are not supposed to use any physical punishment or even yell at cats, what can we do to make her realize that that behavior is not acceptable?

 

[sandie]

I would just have him handle her a little at a time. Just a little love here and there. Then make sure he is armed with a squirt bottle at all times. They really arent supposed to know who squirted them, but it's the only way I have seen cats get the idea once tought a bad behavior. It may take some time, but it took time to do it in the first place. Loud noises also work, I would clap and say no very firm when she does this. I hope she decides he's not her rough play toy!!

 

[Anne]

Also, you can try rewarding her when she's being good with him. I think he should try a little petting when she's sleeping and then he should offer her a treat. You may want him to do the feeding for a while and to have her associate him with nice experiences.

Cat aggression can be quite a problem, no matter how it started (I agree that the origins of this particular behavior pattern are only too clear). You may need to consult a pet behaviorist and get some professional advice.