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My Cat Hates My Roommate And I Don't Know What To Do

Discussion in 'Cat Behavior' started by confusedkitty, Sep 19, 2017.

  1. confusedkitty

    confusedkitty Thread Starter TCS Member Kitten

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    Aug 14, 2017
    So I posted here previously about my cat attacking my new roommate and I was given the advice to just give them space and slowly introduce. Well it's been about a month now and my cat still hates him. We've kind of come to a truce in the shared living space as long as I'm there - she obviously doesn't like him but doesn't actively go after him. But if I'm not home and she's roaming the house she will definitely go after him. He has tried to play with her, has tried to give her treats, has given her space...Im at my wit's end and don't know what to do! My roommate is definitely sick of it (with good reason) but I really don't want this to be a point of contention anymore. If I'm not home she just stays closed up in my room now but I feel bad for her. My cat has never shown this kind of aggression before - can anyone give me any advice please? Thanks.
     

  2. Mamanyt1953

    Mamanyt1953 Rules my home with an iron paw Staff Member Forum Helper

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    Oct 16, 2015
    Havelock, North Carolina
    Ok, yes. I remember you and your previous thread. Here's where we are. Cats do not act like this without a reason, but it's going to be a cat-reason, not a human-reason. I'm going to go out on a bit of a limb here and say that I do NOT think this is the result of a psychological or brain chemistry issue, because if it were, she would be acting like that with everyone, not just one person. This is good, but will require more thought.

    Cats are extremely sensitive to smell, so I have to wonder if he is bringing home some scent from work that is throwing her into a tizzy, or if he uses a soap, aftershave or laundry detergent that she is reacting to. It would be unusual, but it is possible. Trying to eliminate those possibilities will take a bit of detective work on your part, and may turn up nothing at all.

    As for something positive that you can try...this is going to sound completely absurd, but since you've already tied a knot in the end of your rope and now the branch is threatening to break, it may be worth attempting, no matter how absurd. If you have ever done any reading on introducing two cats, you have read about scent-swapping, where you rub each cat with a piece of cloth, then rub the other cat with that cloth, so that the scent of each cat is on both cats. Try rubbing your cat's scent onto your roommate (hey, with what he's going through now, this should be small potatoes). I don't have any clue if it will work or not, but what on earth do you have to lose?
     
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  3. confusedkitty

    confusedkitty Thread Starter TCS Member Kitten

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    Aug 14, 2017
    Hey, thanks for getting back to me so quickly and giving me such a thorough response! Rereading this I realize I was not writing too coherently -- I was pretty upset in class when I got my roommate's text. We're going to try the soap thing -- it turns out that my ex used to use Old Spice and so does my current roommate! My ex treated her pretty badly (hence the ex status) so this may be it. I'm scared to get too hopeful, but I will report back with any progress.

    Do you have any thoughts on diffusers? One of my classmates told me about them -- they diffuse a relaxing scent for cats. I'm considering purchasing some so she feels more relaxed in the house. She seems much more comfortable in this house so I think the move is no longer the issue. But perhaps she will feel more relaxed around my roommate??

    Anyways, thanks again for the suggestions.
     
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  4. Summercats

    Summercats TCS Member Alpha Cat

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    Sep 19, 2017
    That may be it the common scent (old spice) or she may also now be leary of men due to your ex.
     
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  5. vyger

    vyger TCS Member Alpha Cat

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    Jun 24, 2017
    Northeast Montana
    You could also try taking some "dirty cloths" things that have been worn and put them in places the cat likes hang out. That way the cat will get more used to smelling the other person around.
     
    Mamanyt1953 purraised this.

  6. danteshuman

    danteshuman TCS Member Top Cat

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    Mar 27, 2017
    California
    My bad advise is if the scent swapping doesn't work, for your room mate to start carrying around a penny can. When she attacks he shakes it at her. It will at least teach her to not attack. I know my cats don't like one of my room mates because he is hyper/his energy is unbalanced and they sense it (he has manic depression.) So if it isn't a scent, or that he looks like a nice toy, it might just be his energy?
     
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  7. Mamanyt1953

    Mamanyt1953 Rules my home with an iron paw Staff Member Forum Helper

    20,110
    27,010
    Oct 16, 2015
    Havelock, North Carolina
    And if it seems that the issue is with men in general, then he can also start a program of (seeming to) totally ignoring her, and moving fairly slowing in her presence, and speaking softly. Not so slowly as to be unnatural and absurd, or actually whispering, but more so that his normal speed and volume, and then allowing HER to make all of the first movements. All is not lost yet, by a long shot!

    Diffusers...all of them work on some cats. Feliway seems to be the best of them, but it doesn't work on every cat and is fairly expensive. IF it is in your budget, it is certainly worth giving a try!
     

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