So my cat has lately really started to hate my girlfriend. She doesnt live too close so shes only at my house 2 or 3 days a week, but she pretty much lives with me when shes here. Recently the cat wont even go into the room shes in, even to eat. She also peed all over the room last night. My girlfriend did have a problem disciplining her too much for the smallest things, but she stopped that awhile ago. She started being overly nice to the cat to see if that would win her over, and it was working great until recently. All of a suddent the cat wont stick around for her to try. Does anyone have any tips we can try to get my cat to like her more? Or hate her less even?
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my cat hates my girlfriend!
- Thread starter srkasdorf
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First, take your kitty to the vet. Peeing outside the box is a sign of illness. Urinary tract infections HURT!
If your girlfriend was "disciplining" your cat, how long did that go on? I hope you stopped it. Cats don't learn by discipline, for one thing, and for another, it's your cat, who is she to be "disciplining".
Is she alone with your cat for very long, ever? Call me a cynic, but I wonder what she is doing with the cat when you aren't there to see. Since you implied that the cat was starting to warm up to her, and then now is fearful of her again, this sounds to me like something is going on that shouldn't be.
My advice on this is: (in addition to the trip to the vet) Install some feliway plug in diffusers to help with stress and territorial feelings.
The girlfriend should ignore Kitty. Make no overtures of friendship or otherwise. Let Kitty come to her, when she is ready.
Never leave them alone together.
Animals are usually a pretty good judge of character. I'd be rethinking the relationship, frankly.
If your girlfriend was "disciplining" your cat, how long did that go on? I hope you stopped it. Cats don't learn by discipline, for one thing, and for another, it's your cat, who is she to be "disciplining".
Is she alone with your cat for very long, ever? Call me a cynic, but I wonder what she is doing with the cat when you aren't there to see. Since you implied that the cat was starting to warm up to her, and then now is fearful of her again, this sounds to me like something is going on that shouldn't be.
My advice on this is: (in addition to the trip to the vet) Install some feliway plug in diffusers to help with stress and territorial feelings.
The girlfriend should ignore Kitty. Make no overtures of friendship or otherwise. Let Kitty come to her, when she is ready.
Never leave them alone together.
Animals are usually a pretty good judge of character. I'd be rethinking the relationship, frankly.
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I strongly agree with all otto wrote but especially this part. Why would a cat avoid then warm up then act like she was prior? This could be the future mother of your kids I would really try to figure this out and fast for your cat and your own sake.
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Re-reading my post, I made a mistake. I was calling her "the cat" when I should have been saying "your cat". She is your kitty, your cat was there before the girlfriend. Your cat looks to you for protection, health care and love. Please do investigate the matter further, but don't forget to take her to the vet first thing. Stress makes cats sick, including and especially causing urinary tract disorders.
Keep us posted on how she is doing.
Keep us posted on how she is doing.
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- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #5
Hey thanks guys ill take her to the vet first thing tomorrow. I figured it might have just been the stress of having her around because she did it once before when she was staying at my girlfriends house for a little. Also, now that you mention it, the whiskers on one side of my cats face got messed up when she was at the house alone with my girlfriend. It looked to me like they had been sindged/burnt, and my girlfriend swore that she didnt know what happened. It honestly could be another roommate of mine that doesnt like cats too much. He actually left the door open this morning and my cat is no where to be found...need to look into getting a new place without dickhead roommates lol. Any advice on getting her to come back? Shes normally good about staying in the area and coming back quickly but this morning i didnt see her at all.
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I wouldn't be surprised if your cat is looking for a safer place to live if as you said the whiskers on one side were singed.
Sounds like your roommates AND your girlfriend are crazy. Do yourself a favor and ditch the gf. A girl who would hurt an animal is not someone to be trusted.
Sounds like your roommates AND your girlfriend are crazy. Do yourself a favor and ditch the gf. A girl who would hurt an animal is not someone to be trusted.
I hate to say this, but if animals, especially cats, do not like someone... There is almost always a good reason and this could be an indicator of abuse behind your back. Whiskers are very sensitive and anything messing them up is usually not done by the cat. I admit, there can be circumstances where the cat got in a situation itself that caused it but being indoors, this is highly unlikely. As for peeing on your bed, if the vet checks out, then your cat is trying to tell you something and marking it's territory telling your gf "This is mine. I live here. Not you. Go away." Listen to your cat and don't leave your gf alone with her. I have had bf's in the past that would be mean to my cats behind my back and I would break up with them immediately! Someone who is mean to animals is not a good person to be in a relationship with anyway. But, give her the benefit of the doubt. Just ask her to come with you whenever you have to leave her at your place... Or say "Are you OK not being around my cat and having me put her in my bedroom and you not go in there while I'm gone?" Maybe even put cameras up? I would... Then you can make your decision on whether or not to stay with them based on what the camera catches.
First getting your cat back... Put up fliers and knock on neighbors doors. Maybe look at places that are concealed but she can still see everything going on around her... Under porches, etc.
First getting your cat back... Put up fliers and knock on neighbors doors. Maybe look at places that are concealed but she can still see everything going on around her... Under porches, etc.
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Hello, ok for one do not ever I mean ever leave yur kitty alone with this mean gf!! Ok does yur gf smoke anything at all and be honest? How if yur kitty was in her care then how would she not know wut happened to yur kitty? Think about it guy a kitty doesn't go outside and get her wiskers burned!! Even strays that live outside don't get burned wiskers unless its intentionally done to them!! Your kitty is prob peeing cuz of the stress yur gf gives her!! Unless she has been like having bathroom problems when yur gf was not there then if she has then for sure take yur kitty to a vet but u could maybe not have your gf arround which I would strongly recommend and then see if yur kitty uses her box ok a few times. Ok don't say anything to your roomate just yet or put blame on him cuz just cuz he is not fond of cats didn't mean he left the door open on purpose! He may have just been careless or forgetful but don't let yur kitty be around him either if he isn't fond of cats. You really should have yur kitty fixed if its not already. I don't know where u live but I am in Los Angeles and I could help you to tell u where u could could her fixed for free if u live near me. Its very dangerous really to let yur kitty be outdkors at all unless u maybe are with her when she is outdoors and I have a whole list of reasons I could tell u why its. Not safe but right now I wont get into it. What do u mean exactly too when u say yur gf was kinda tough on disiplining yur kitty? Can u be more open and tell me. Usually people that are mean to animals have either psychopathic or sociopathic personality disorders. How long have u been together with yur gf? The other person was very right too when saying if u ever had kids with this chick she would be mean to them too, its a proven fact that that would happen. Ok I want to see if u msg me back right away and then Ill tell u how u can find yur kitty but get the gf away from yur kitty's home!!
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Is your cat spayed?
Flyers/craigslist/local papers for places to post/look. Ask the neighbors close by too. Also look for close by hiding spots(under sheds/bushes) Take a light and shine it to see if you get reflection of eyes.
Make sure to stop by shelters daily if possible(they are overworked and can miss your cat). Look into a foster for a little while so you can get a safer place for when your cat is home.
Also check shelters far away-it is possible the cat was dumped far away from your town.
Flyers/craigslist/local papers for places to post/look. Ask the neighbors close by too. Also look for close by hiding spots(under sheds/bushes) Take a light and shine it to see if you get reflection of eyes.
Make sure to stop by shelters daily if possible(they are overworked and can miss your cat). Look into a foster for a little while so you can get a safer place for when your cat is home.
Also check shelters far away-it is possible the cat was dumped far away from your town.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #10
Hey so quick update for you guys. I found out that my girlfriend wwas the one that torched my cats whiskers albeit accidentally(supposedly). So it explains all of my cats recent behaivior. Two questions though. Should i still take her to the vet? Shes been using her litter box fine since the incident, and i feel like she was just marking her territory. (It was in her kennel on the ground only, not the bed). Also, her whiskers are pretty twisted up and mangled, is this something she should be seen for? I called a vet the day it happened to ask, and the nurse seemed to think it would just fix itself, but i just want to get a second opinion. Thanks
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #11
Also, i just found my kitty! She was under a car in my drive way. I want to clarify the disciplining part. Its not that shes been abusing the cat, shes just never had any animals so she didnt know how to do it. For instance my cat would get up on the dinner table and she would give her a slap in the face. Not enough to hurt her, just enough to let her know she wasnt supposed to be up there. Sometimes the cat would run away and my gf would chase her to try and give her a slap, which was probably worse on the cat. I know that this is definitely not the right way to go about it, and eventually got her to stop.
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I wouold bring in for exam just to be safe.
A slap in the FACE??? This is YOUR cat why didn't she talk to you about WHAT to do before doing anything? My asian husband knew nothing about animals-he had street cats in area while growing up and that was his limited involvement with cats-he never touched a cat till he met me. He NEVER EVER would have thought to slap them. He has said no or removed them from the situation(counter surfing or trying to get into something)
Something you said really sticks out though.
"I know that this is definitely not the right way to go about it, and eventually got her to stop."
You say eventually. So when told she was wrong she continued to do it????
What type of "accident" was the cat involved in with the whiskers being damaged?
A slap in the FACE??? This is YOUR cat why didn't she talk to you about WHAT to do before doing anything? My asian husband knew nothing about animals-he had street cats in area while growing up and that was his limited involvement with cats-he never touched a cat till he met me. He NEVER EVER would have thought to slap them. He has said no or removed them from the situation(counter surfing or trying to get into something)
Something you said really sticks out though.
"I know that this is definitely not the right way to go about it, and eventually got her to stop."
You say eventually. So when told she was wrong she continued to do it????
What type of "accident" was the cat involved in with the whiskers being damaged?
It sounds to me like your girlfriend has abuse issues, and I would be very afraid of leaving her alone with your cat. Such people have a pattern of repenting, then escalating. She is a dangerous person for your cat, and possibly for yourself.
The cat has nerves in the base of the whiskers, but not in the whiskers themselves. The current ones will eventually fall out and be replace. HOWEVER, having them torched is enough to cause your cat very real phobia problems, perhaps for life. This girl is damaging your cat, and needs to be sent down the road.
The cat has nerves in the base of the whiskers, but not in the whiskers themselves. The current ones will eventually fall out and be replace. HOWEVER, having them torched is enough to cause your cat very real phobia problems, perhaps for life. This girl is damaging your cat, and needs to be sent down the road.
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I certainly don't claim to know what's best for you, but you live with an abusive roommate and date an abusive woman. It sounds like you need to make some big changes in your life, for your sake and for your cat's sake. Things are not going to get better. Your cat trusts you to protect her and take care of her. If my cats don't like someone, it's usually a good indication that there is something not quite right about that person.
Hoping to hear you've moved on to better living arrangements and a different girlfriend.
catmom5
Hoping to hear you've moved on to better living arrangements and a different girlfriend.
catmom5
OK, this girl is not an animal person and it sounds to me like you need to make a decision... Your cat or your girl. I hope for your cats sake, you make the right decision. You are making excuses for your girlfriends abuse. That is not good. Any vet will tell you the same thing. It is NOT ok for your girlfriend to slap your cat in the face, even if she didn't hurt her. It is NOT ok for your girlfriend to chase your cat to slap her... Do you not see this is wrong? You say you know it's not the right way for the cat but you're hoping she will eventually just give in to your girlfriends discipline anyway? She's a cat! She's scared and abused. It needs to stop NOW. And you need to be the one to step up and stop it. Tell your girlfriend NO, you will not tolerate her abuse of your cat and to not do it anymore or its over. If she cares about you, she will stop.... Oh my goodness. This is not good at all.
Okay. After reading through all the posts, this being an "accident" is NOT at all an accident. Kitty doesn't like your GF, so how would kitty be close enough to have her whiskers torched? And how in the world would they be torched?! Lighter? Stove top burner? What's next? She actually burns kitty to death? Or beats her to death? I say this because it sounds like she's escalating the abuse of your kitty. OMG, I am appalled at this, and upset that this behavior is being tolerated. Maybe you could post the explanation of how this happened?
Anyone, and I mean ANYONE who abuses animals would not be trusted in any way shape of form to be around my kitties. Even in a relationship, it would be a deal breaker. My motto: "Must love my kitties or you're out the door--and don't let it hit ya in the a$$ on the way out!"
Ditch this stupid woman, she has no right to be in your life or your kitty's life. You are better than this, and you deserve a kind, loving woman who respects animals and treats them accordingly. She doesn't truly love you or she wouldn't treat one of your most precious loves the way she has. Children? God forbid she ever has any...and what if they want a kitty? Oh my.
I have two cats who don't "like" anyone but me. They hide when other people are around. My initial instinct when I read Otto's first post about ditching the gf was that it was a bit extreme. But wow, after reading the rest of this thread... You can NOT leave your cat alone with your gf OR your roommate. This cannot be overstated - it is never ok, appropriate, or helpful to hit a cat or any other animal (including we human animals). Never, never, never. Good luck to you and your kitty. I sincerely hope you get these abusers out of your life and stick around here so we can get to know you! :nod:
I agree with everyone. Just leave and don't talk to her anymore. >< Animal abuse should never be tolerated!
I completly agree with this. Your poor furry baby. Slaping the cat across the face.is.not.ignorance its abuse. Ignorance.would maybe be the case if it was light slap on the bum bu not the face. In my experience cats are amaxing judges character. Do not leave your kitty alone or unsupervised with your kitty.
