My cat hates me since I got a new kitten a month ago

[Kittycorn]

Please help cat lovers!!

I am so heart broken my 10 month old baby girl Pickles has not been the same with me since I got her a little brother (Shadow) 1 month ago. He’s nearly 4 months old.

They seem to get on just fine. I did the whole introduction stage as you are meant to. It took them 5 days to stop hissing/growling and after a week they where playing. It’s been a month now and they chase each other round the house, wrestle I have even caught them cuddling. Only the once and I think she had no choice hahaha. They share their food and litter boxes now so I defo know it’s all good progress and they will be the best of friends.

Before Shadow came home Pickles was my little baby so affectionate and talkative she loved to play and sleep with us everything you want from your fur baby. I work during the day and when I get home we would have at least a 15 minute snuggle I knew she missed me and I missed her she would want belly rubs, purr and want all the pets it was our little thing but she doesn’t do it anymore since I got shadow and it breaks my heart. I come in to great her. And her first I must add. She doesn’t meow like she used to she doesn’t even come downstairs but little man is there. I go to pet her she walks away and almost leans her body away from my hand. I could cry every time. My partner Tom gets in an hour later and she’s all over him. Rolls on the floor wants belly rubs, purrs. And I get nothing. I can see she loves him and he winds me up about it hahahaha as men do lol. I really don’t know what to do and it is breaking my heart. My little baby hates me but is happy with new kitty and adores my partner. He doesn’t even give her attention or feed her. I do everything!!

I always put her first at feeding time. I always try and play with her first yet she won’t play in the same room as little man. I have to shut him out for her to play but if she hears him oh she wants him lol. I even tried ignoring Shaodw just a little bit not push him away or anything. But he’s a proper little baby and loves a cuddle is pickles seeing me cuddling him and thinking well sod you then?

I just love them both so much and am so happy they are becoming best friends but why is she being like this towards me? Has anyone else experienced this after a month of new kitty and will she ever love her mumma again? XxxxxxxxX

 

[sivyaleah]

Sorry you're going through this.

If it helps, your girl is still a kitten herself and still growing and with that, comes some personality changes which could be temporary. She has a new friend which is great, and that takes up her attention. It's new for her - a month is a short amount of time and I wouldn't judge her future behavior based on what's happening now.

I'd think by the time she's about a year old, she'll be a bit more settled. I'm sure she'll come back around to being your "baby" again. Cat's behavior when young isn't an absolute set in stone kind of thing. Our girl was way more cuddly than she is now at 1-1/2 years but she is who she is and I love her none the less for it. And our older one became rather standoffish when the kitten arrived and it took months before her usual self came back. It's a big thing for a cat to have their routines changed so continue your normal with her and find some bonding activities you can do with her only.

Enjoy her for who she is and be proud you were able to integrate your newcomer well enough that she accepts him. This is a huge accomplishment!

 

[Mr. Meow]

Kittens change their minds and personalities like we change our socks. They explore things they like, things they don't like, and even change back again. It's all part of them growing up.
I can't sit here and promise she'll be a cuddle bug forever, but there are things you can try.
When your partner is giving belly rubs, see if you 2 can switch in the middle of it without her knowing. She may just equate the action to the person (as of today, which could change tomorrow). So it's possible that if she's in belly rub heaven and looks up and sees it's you, she could learn to be cuddly with mama again.

 

[ArtNJ]

Kittens change their minds and personalities like we change our socks.

They are growing so fast, they change behaviors week to week.

All of that said, since your partner is currently getting more affection, here is my theory. New kitten came into the house. Older cat Pickles was briefly stressed, then totally focused on the new toy ... er kitten. So at that point, Pickles was like a 5 year old playing with toys received at Christmas. She did not want hugs or to be put on Mama's lap, because stressed or preoccupied cats usually dont. You, I'm just guessing here, were a little slow to realize that there had been a change, and kept trying to do the stuff she no longer wanted. Maybe you didn't go with the flow, and let the kitten be the boss of what happens, and that can set back a relationship a bit. That can happen quite easily to the best of us, but its no biggy. All you have to do now is take a step back and vow to be patient. Let Pickles be the boss. Pet her when she is tired, in her favorite spot, when giving a treat . . . whenever she will allow it, and back off if she isn't receptive. Soon you two will be like a happy hamburger bun, with lots of lettuce, onions, cheese & ketchup (to go with Pickles). But if its not *exactly* like what it was, just remember how fast cats age. 10 months is like a 5 year old human kid . . . and they don't always want as many hugs as they used too. That doesn't mean there won't be more affection again later, but for now, your 5 year old might be wanting a bit more independence.

 

[Kittycorn]

Thank you so much everyone you have made me feel so much better. She is still a kitten herself I need to take a step back and let her control her loving. Patience is not my virtue all I do is worry about her all day long I need to stop it’s not healthy for any of us. Thank you once again I’m sure she will love me again soon.

 

[Kittycorn]

Kittens change their minds and personalities like we change our socks. They explore things they like, things they don't like, and even change back again. It's all part of them growing up.
I can't sit here and promise she'll be a cuddle bug forever, but there are things you can try.
When your partner is giving belly rubs, see if you 2 can switch in the middle of it without her knowing. She may just equate the action to the person (as of today, which could change tomorrow). So it's possible that if she's in belly rub heaven and looks up and sees it's you, she could learn to be cuddly with mama again.

I will have to try that. Thank you so much

 

[flybear]

I kind of have a similar situation ... my two Ragdoll kittens - the nest members of my cat family of 5 ... love my kids better than me ... or at least I though they did ... I am happy to report that this was quite temporary ... teenage kittens do go through an independent phase where they can be aloof... and they like one person over another ... your Kitten has just found a new friend ... family ... he can talk to and who is always there to play ... this is about the greatest gift ever in the kitten's mind ... contrary to their reputation ... cats are not loners ... especially kittens LOVE playmates of their own kind ... Believe me ... you will get a cozy kitty back ... cats get significantly calmer and cuddlier when they get older ... even if they have 4 sibling who love them like mine! I know it is hard to watch when you think that your cat loves your partner more ... but I doubt this is true ... they just know that you will go chase after them and you partner is the one who needs to be solicited for love ;-) ... cats are smart ... My two babies decided last week that I " might" be ok after all ... after months of loving on my kids who ... definitely don't do the cat chores as much as I do lol ;-) ... they now both show me as much love and ... ( pssst - don't tell my kids ! ) crawl under the blanket with me ... give it time ... you have two very happy kittens ... watch them play and romp around - you are a lucky cat mom to have two kitties that get along well ... and both will calm down ... they always do

 

[NekoHK]

Hello - I'm in a similar situation. My 8 month old girl, Biscuits, is my OG and I introduced a new boy kitten, Bear (4 months), to the fur family two weeks ago. Biscuits is still her usual self when it's just the two of us in a room (she sleeps in my room overnight). But when her new brother Bear is around, she's always alert to where the new cat is and not as relaxed and cuddly. They have started playing together but Biscuits still growls and swats at him occasionally. I try not to baby Bear too much while Biscuits is there because I think she's a bit jealous and can smell the new cat on me. I think it will just take time for her to adjust and, as others have said, their personalities as kittens are still evolving.