My Cat Has Cancer. Is It Her Time?

[TheCatLady102283]

My beloved oldest cat, Sprinkles, was diagnosed with a mammary tumor last fall. Unfortunately, it had already spread to her lymph tissue and I was told by the vet that all I could do is to provide her with palliative care.

It’s been six months and she has recently mostly stopped eating. She will sometimes eat wet food and treats but no dry food and other times she just won’t eat.

She’s still very affectionate but it’s hard for her to jump so I have to go to her on the floor to give her attention. She doesn’t hide from anyone. She has days where she seems to be in a lot of pain and then some days she seems relatively fine.

I just don’t know if it’s her time or not. I don’t like seeing her suffer but at the same time she still has some good days. I don’t know if they outweigh the bad ones. How am I supposed to know when/if it’s her time?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hello, I'm so sorry this is what brought you here but I'm glad you are.
You will know, she will let you know by the look in her eyes and when the bad days are too many.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

 

[Kitten70]

Cats are smart, as Furballsmom said, she will tell you when it is too much to take.
My thoughts are with you.

 

[foxden]

Here is a TCS article with some resources.
When Is It Time? - Making The Difficult Decision

Here is an off-site link.

 

[lavishsqualor]

What does your vet say? Is she getting sufficient pain control? Palliative care almost always includes pain control and usually narcotic pain control.

 

[Margret]

When my heart kitty, Sweet Thing, went into chronic kidney failure I kept waiting for the vet to tell me that it was time, that none of the things he could do for her had any chance of actually changing anything, and he didn't. The result is that I waited too long, and I regret that to this day. I found out later that vets don't tell you things like that unless you specifically ask. These are the things you need to say:

• "If Sprinkles were your cat, would you be euthanizing her now?"
• If the vet says "No," you should ask "Why not?" because the answer to that will give you a great deal more information.
• If the vet says "No," you should ask for a better pain med for Sprinkles, because it sounds obvious that what she's getting now isn't quite doing the job.
  
• Also if the vet says "No" to the first question, you should say "Please indicate on Sprinkles' chart that I want to be informed when that time comes."

My Pretzel had cancer of the sebaceous (ear wax) gland. They thought they'd caught it early and removed her ear, and the cancer came back. More surgery. More recurrences. Eventually it became obvious to everyone that without chemotherapy (which we were unwilling to subject Pretzel to, as well as not having the money to give it to her) the cancer was terminal. So we got a very good pain med for her (I'm sure it was an opiate, though I no longer remember which one) and got her a new vet, a mobile vet. It was quite obvious to me when the pain med stopped working for Pretzel, and we immediately called her vet. When the vet came we sat next to each other in the window seat, with Pretzel on both of our laps, and petted her, and talked about what a wonderful cat she was, and when Pretzel was relaxed and purring and feeling totally loved we nodded to the vet, who came over and gave her the injection. It was quick and painless; we'd said our goodbyes, and it was exactly the right time for it. That is the only time that we've had to euthanize a cat about which I have no regrets whatsoever (except, of course, regret that she got cancer, but that was out of our control).

I don't know whether it's Sprinkles' time; only you can make that most painful decision. I do know that we'll be here for you when you have to make it, and while you're grieving, and that we have a lot of shoulders you can cry on. No one here will say "It was only a cat; get over it," or "It's not like a person died." We know that Sprinkles is a family member; that this is the most painful decision cat people have to make; and that grieving is essential and takes however long it takes. And someday, when your home begins to feel empty because it needs another cat, instead of feeling empty because it needs this cat, you'll find another cat to adopt, with all of the joys and problems that come with that, and we'll be there for you then, too.



Margret

 

[di and bob]

My Burt avoided us in his last few days. So when your precious girl starts to avoid you, stays by herself and is existing rather than living, that is the time. I gave my boy a homemade stair to climb where he felt the most comfortable,and then he got too weak to even climb that. There is no way to prepare your heart for what is coming, just give her the comfort she needs right now and pray she goes quietly in her sleep surrounded by your love. My thoughts and prayers are with you......

 

[Heebeeweebee]

She’s still very affectionate but it’s hard for her to jump so I have to go to her on the floor to give her attention. She doesn’t hide from anyone. She has days where she seems to be in a lot of pain and then some days she seems relatively fine.
I just don’t know if it’s her time or not. I don’t like seeing her suffer but at the same time she still has some good days. I don’t know if they outweigh the bad ones. How am I supposed to know when/if it’s her time?

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I was brought to this site for a very similar situation, and I know how much anxiety it can cause.

When I called my vet to ask about what signs to watch for, she mentioned that they have a "quality of life" exam where she can look at how the cat is doing and talk with you (in potentially "end of life" situations). If your vet offers something like that, maybe it's something to consider? At least for me, I know having a "second set of eyes" might help me objectively decide the best path forward. Best of luck

 

[duckpond]

I am so sorry you guys are having to go through this. Its never easy and there will always be doubts on if its the right time. Talk to your vet, and watch your cat. I think you will know. We sometimes try to delude ourselves, so a good vet is very helpful in making the call. Sending you guys thoughts and prayers.

 

[Timmer]

I'm so sorry. It's so very very hard watching your little loved one be ill and just knowing it's nearing the end. I lost Timmer two months ago. His IBD/lymphoma was diagnosed late and we only had weeks together. His last day he was very sick at home, alone, while I was at work and that broke my heart. It was confusing because the GI doctor was telling me stick with the chemo, but he was only getting worse. I knew Timmer was in tremendous pain because he would slowly close his eyes. He was always so bright eyed and alert. Up until the end, he would still cuddle with me, purr like mad, and follow me around. He still ate that day. Our last night together he wouldn't sleep with me. That told me a lot. Our love was strong and he always loved being around me. I was crying so hard that last night and he would get up and walk away from me when I would start, like he didn't want to see me hurting.

It's so heart breaking. He is the only cat I've ever had that I have wondered if it was too soon or I could have tried something else. A month later, I talked in depth with my vet and he assured me that there was not one single thing I could have done to help Timmer. Talk to your vet. Talk about quality. Talk about giving pain medications. See if your kitty needs fluids or an appetite stimulant. Make your baby comfortable. I also tend to think if it were me, would I still want to go on? Would I want chemotherapy myself? With Timmer, my answer was no. I was giving him chemo and here I wouldn't even give it to myself. That to me, felt wrong.
It's never easy and we are always left with guilt and doubts. You are a good mom and you always will be. That love you to have will never leave you. EVER.

 

[FakeGourmet]

It's my feeling that once a cat is in pain from cancer, it's time to let go and end the suffering. Treating the cat with pain meds only prolongs things, since s/he is already terminal and it is for your benefit, not the cat's. Having had family members go through it, and they can talk, once cancer reaches that point of weakness and pain, their lives are miserable. My cat Bart has cancer that failed treatment. He's doing well right now and in no apparent pain. So I'm just letting things go until he is in some kind of pain.