My 16 Year Old Calico Is Scared To Death Of Other Cat

[MichaelB727]

Hello. I created an account here in search of help as I have no idea what to do.

I have had my female Calico named Cinnamon for all 16 years. She used to be a very brave and independent cat. We originally had another cat named Domino, a persian, and both got cats got along just fine. Domino passed away two years ago. However, last year in September we rescued a little tabby kitten that was only two weeks old at the time. Miraculousy, despite living under the neighbors house for two weeks in the hot heat, the kitten was in perfect health as we have taken him to the Vet's a few times. We named him Phoenix and he is in perfect health, despite not getting neutered yet. It's been almost a year with Phoenix. Sadly, Phoenix and Cinnamon have a bad relationship that has gradually gotten worse. For the past two months, Cinnamon has refused to leave my bedroom at all. She used to at least venture out in other parts of the house. I do have her litter box plus food and water in my room currently. I would say the problem is that Phoenix isn't a mean cat, he just wants to play and he plays too rough, like biting. And understandably Cinnamon is a 16 year old female, so obviously she is not interested in rough play. I understand that he is not neutered yet and that is a problem but lately if Phoenix decides to come in my bedroom when the door is open, Cinnamon immediately cowers in fear and runs to hide under my bed. I know Phoenix just wants to play with her or even just sniff her, he isn't trying to bully her. If he does bites her though, I have punished him by giving him a timeout to try to get him to stop that behavior. Cinnamon is constantly in fear and is always looking for the cat even when the door is closed. I close the door before I sleep and she is under the bed when I wake up. I fear that even when I do get Phoenix neutered, she will still be scared. What can I do to fix this problem? What can I do to at least get her to stop going under my bed? We do plan on getting Phoenix neutered very soon, but I'm not expecting a magical fix. I know it will take time for Cinnamon to stop being so scared.

 

[ArtNJ]

This is a very common situation, and there really is no solution except time, which usually helps even if, unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be helping in your case. Even in your case, the younger cat will likely mellow greatly gradually over the next year or two, but that time scale is obviously unfortunate when your older cat is suffering now.

From time to time someone says to get another kitten, but in my experience that is not terribly likely to work and could make things worse.

I obviously like cats a lot, but don't believe they are smart enough to learn anything from a time out, and getting a young cat to learn that it isn't allowed to play with another cat is prohibitively difficult to begin with. I can't recall hearing of a success story for "don't play rough" training.

Don't underestimate neutering, it may matter more than you think, but you are probably correct that it won't fix the situation. Regardless, its a bad idea to wait any longer, because your cat could start spraying at any time, and once they start, it is sometimes to late for neutering -- it doesn't always fix it if you wait that long.

Given the older cats age, separate lives for the cats might be best, if the layout of your home permits. But it is reasonable to wait and see if neutering helps more than you think it will. Failing that, you can give the older cat breaks and TLC with the door closed from time to time & maybe let him sleep in peace. You can add extra litter boxes if "safe" access for the older cat is an issue. Elevated space is also known to help some. Elevated space helps cats feel safe. If you ever watch Jackson Galaxy's show, you will frequently see that he has people build elaborate cat super highways and other things that are likely prohibitive for most, but even another cat tree or two could help somewhat -- elevated space really taps into something in the cat brain. I've even seen my older cat actually play with the younger cat she dislikes and avoids when the older cat has high ground.