Missing my baby

shebaa

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i had to put my kitty down on the 17th. she had behavior issues that the vet didnt think meds would help. i had her since sept 2013, when she was 2 months old. for the most part she was a good cat but when she had a episode, it got too severe.
she would cry whenever i left the house, greeted me right at the door when i came back. slept with me every night. put her paw on me when i wasnt giving her any attention.
im having a hard time, i live alone, no kids, no job (im disabled), no other pets and im crying all day. i miss her so much and part of me feels guilty. i feel stressed out but i was stressing these past few weeks cause of her behavior. ive went through a lot with her with food trails cause of her allergies, meds for her constipation. and in the end i couldnt help her with her behavior. i pray that things will soon feel normal again
 

danteshuman

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I’m so sorry for your loss!
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We hate hearing about pets being put down for behavioral issues, espcially since most are solvable. Given how deeply you are grieving, all the things you tried & the goodness of most vets; I’m going to assume you did everything you could. So please don’t blame yourself!

I’m not saying go get a kitten (until you are ready!) Perhaps you can foster a few pregnant moms or bottle baby litters though? The older litters are less work/iffy to make it. When you finally do adopt a kitten, I strongly suggest adopting 2.

However 2 things helped me a lot with my grief over losing Dante.

1) Jackie (who I fostered/loved before Dante got sick) and while I would pet Jackie, talking outloud to Dante.

2) a portrait of Dante so I could look at my Bud everyday!

I ‘got’ Jackie at 4 weeks & all 3 kittens survived. Plus I now have a very cuddly kitty that nurses on his binkie every day...... even though he is now 2 years old.

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shebaa

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as of now i plan on going to the shelter tomorrow, my plan is getting 2 cats that already are paired up. so that way i will always have a pet incase (or when) something happens to the other, and i wont feel so lonely like i do now. but also feel its just too soon but i hate the loneliness. kinda feels i gave up on one cat to get a easier cat. if i knew meds would helped sheba, i would of done that. but for a couple weeks, deep down i knew that wasnt likely. which is why ive been an emotional wreck even before she passed. and then the vet said what ive been dreading, that even with meds, she still would have problems. maybe if i taken her to the vet sooner instead of waiting till it got too bad then maybe there would still be hope. now i'll never know. its nice walking in my own home now without fear that shes stalking me. but i miss her so much. and her behavior didnt make me love her any less. i dont regret adopting her, i would do it again. she was still a good kitty in her own little way. who just had problems that happened to be too severe to fix.
i also have pictures up. they're all over just like the rest of my pics of my family.
 

di and bob

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Getting two more little ones in her name helps to fill the emptiness in your heart and your home. Their love will reside next to hers. Sometimes no matter what we do it is not enough, I'm sure you tried everything you could with what you had. You gave her 7 and a half years of love, I know she will always thank you for that.
Her love will always be tied to your soul, she will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. She lives on through you now, send her thoughts of happiness and of love, she is at peace.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both, you do her a great honor by leaving this tribute for the world to see, and by perpetuating her love by allowing two more to enter your heart......RIP sweet Girl, you will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 
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danteshuman

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The sad truth is it seems everyone who puts their cat to sleep; plays the ‘what if’ game & blames themselves. So I think it is just part of the grief process.

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it took me about 18 months to really accept that it was time & the vet I trusted had agreed with me.... so I could stop blaming myself. In the meanwhile cherish the good memories of her.

Part of the reason I suggested fostering was to avoid feeling like you were replacing her. For the first year I was always looking at Jackie & thinking “I love you but you fall short by so much compared to my best friend, Dante the great.” It really took me 2 years to quit comparing them and finally stop having my love for the new guy tinted by my grief for his predecessor. Grief has no timeline. So there is value in allowing yourself to grief. I’m disabled and live alone so I understand the value of a companion cat.

When you are ready we would love to see some pictures and or hear stories about your sweet girl.

My mom painted a portrait of my Dante for me, my first Christmas without Dante. If you like the idea you can get a favorite picture of her printed on a canvas from many places ...... I believe even Target.
 

betsygee

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The sad truth is it seems everyone who puts their cat to sleep; plays the ‘what if’ game & blames themselves. So I think it is just part of the grief process.
This is true. It's impossible to not second-guess yourself when you have to make such a momentous decision about a beloved companion. You did everything you could and gave your kitty love and a wonderful home for as long as you could.

And now you're giving two more kitties a chance at a good home and a good life--that's a good thing. 💚
 

T.O.

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as of now i plan on going to the shelter tomorrow, my plan is getting 2 cats that already are paired up. so that way i will always have a pet incase (or when) something happens to the other, and i wont feel so lonely like i do now. but also feel its just too soon but i hate the loneliness. kinda feels i gave up on one cat to get a easier cat. if i knew meds would helped sheba, i would of done that. but for a couple weeks, deep down i knew that wasnt likely. which is why ive been an emotional wreck even before she passed. and then the vet said what ive been dreading, that even with meds, she still would have problems. maybe if i taken her to the vet sooner instead of waiting till it got too bad then maybe there would still be hope. now i'll never know. its nice walking in my own home now without fear that shes stalking me. but i miss her so much. and her behavior didnt make me love her any less. i dont regret adopting her, i would do it again. she was still a good kitty in her own little way. who just had problems that happened to be too severe to fix.
i also have pictures up. they're all over just like the rest of my pics of my family.
I, myself, had to make some difficult decisions. I’d like to share so you feel some community. I lost my cat of 14 years to cancer last fall and after searching and being treated terribly by rescue groups (they looked for any reason to say no), I found a kitten on Craigslist the week of Thanksgiving. And he was wonderful. In January I woke up to my mastiff (1 of 2 dogs) having bit my little kitten. It was devastating. We realized that the dog was also getting aggressive with our other dog. I found a rescue group to surrender him to. This turned out to be the best thing. My other dog has since relaxed, and is so much happier. This wasn’t an easy decision. But it had to be done.
I raised that mastiff from a puppy with cats. He was never like that and knew better. I had him on Prozac for his anxiety with people. I was one-hundred percent ready to euthanize him if this rescue wasn’t willing to try to work with him.
 
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shebaa

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So prozac didn't work? That's what the vet would of gave if I hadn't decided to put her down

I did adopt 2 kitties today. Ready to go home on Monday. Until I'm staying with family for I wont be lonely. I'm still extremely sad for my sheba. She'll always be my baby girl
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Sheba, dream you deep. You're pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Be very sure of this...Sheba, for all of her problems, loved you. And now she is happy and whole in That Place Where All Things Are Known. I know she applauds the fact that you are giving these two babies a home in her memory, and her love, now translated and purified into Love, will join you, never to leave. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.
 

T.O.

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So prozac didn't work? That's what the vet would of gave if I hadn't decided to put her down

I did adopt 2 kitties today. Ready to go home on Monday. Until I'm staying with family for I wont be lonely. I'm still extremely sad for my sheba. She'll always be my baby girl
It took the edge off of his startle response to loud noises. But it was never the magic bullet. I could never trust him around people outside of the family. He was a very large dog with a lot of anxiety around unknown situations. At times I had to walk outside with him in the dark because he wouldn’t go to the bathroom out of fear. Animal brains are just as complicated as ours, but with less ways to communicate the problems. We hope he can find a home as an only pet.
 

T.O.

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It took the edge off of his startle response to loud noises. But it was never the magic bullet. I could never trust him around people outside of the family. He was a very large dog with a lot of anxiety around unknown situations. At times I had to walk outside with him in the dark because he wouldn’t go to the bathroom out of fear. Animal brains are just as complicated as ours, but with less ways to communicate the problems. We hope he can find a home as an only pet.
I think letting them go out of love is best.
 
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shebaa

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i had surrendered sheba a few weeks ago but then shelter said they didnt think they would find a home where she would be comfortable. a week later i got her back. so it kinda feels im grieving for her all over again except she isnt coming back this time 😢
 

T.O.

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i had surrendered sheba a few weeks ago but then shelter said they didnt think they would find a home where she would be comfortable. a week later i got her back. so it kinda feels im grieving for her all over again except she isnt coming back this time 😢
I totally get that.
 
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shebaa

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its been 1 week from today since i had to say goodbye. since then i adopted 2 kittens. but im still struggling so much. im always crying, dont have the energy for anything. 2 cats dont get along. i dont think i have the energy to handle all this. and im starting to regret putting my baby down.
 

T.O.

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A million hugs. Grief is a roller coaster. I was depressed after I put my Mister down in October. Same. Didn’t want to get out of bed. Time makes it easier. But it never really goes away.
And your memory is going to play tricks on you. It’s going to pick and choose what to show you, when there was so much more that got you to your decision. No the new kittens are not your baby. You have to love them for who they are.
A friend of mine made a shrine to her cat. Rituals of grief can help.
 
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