Miracle cure for fear in our boy... ?

[Kentucky Kitty]

We adopted Freddy two years ago. He was 5 years old at the time. His previous owner, we were told, was an elderly guy who got him when he was a kitten. So we expected a lethargic boy who would enjoy his new home. A sister to play with. And lots of toys. He had taken to certain toys. So cute to watch him get so excited. He took to his younger sister immediately. Here comes the BUT....He is close to my husband . Where ever his "daddy" is, so is Freddy. He calmly enjoys his daily brushing with my husband. The problem is that he is scared to death of me. Strangely, the very first thing in the morning, he will slowly approach me for ear and chin rubs. He'll roll on his back, even exposing his belly for gentle rubbing. After that, he will run like a jack rabbit from room to room to hide from me. Also, it has always been me who has tricked him into his carrier to go to the vet for nail trims. My husbands back pain doesn't allow him to help me. He goes to the vet with me trying to give Freddy comfort that he is safe.
Since Covid, our vet has stopped trimming nails. Other local vets are charging high fee's for a simple nail trim. We can not afford that every few weeks. So now my husband and I chase and trap this sweet boy into the bathroom. He fights me like the devil, but I pick him up and rock him and coo him till he's somewhat calm, then trim the nails. I recently trimmed them for the second time. This time trauma has dramatically increased his sciddish behavior. He plays less. Doesn't hang with his dad as much. Spends most of the day hiding under the bed. We feel so sorry for him. I miss him learning to trust me since the day we got him. My husband really misses the trusting relationship they used to have. He runs from him a lot now too. Can this condition be turned around?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
Maybe there's something here that might help;

How To Best Take Care Of Cat Claws – TheCatSite Articles

Also, have you tried any of these?
Here are calming products and music sources;
There's Cat In My Arms on spotify and elsewhere, and also Youtube, Alexa cat music, RelaxMyCat and MusicForCats are sources of cat music that helps calm cats.

Only Natural Pet has a calming product called Just Relax Calming spray with essential oil (catnip oil).

There's this one, be sure and scroll all the way down the page;

www.bachflower.com

Also, there is ThunderWunders calming chews, Richard's Organic Pet Calm drops, Naturevet Hemp, HomeoPet Anxiety Relief, Head to Tail Calming, Relaxivet Quiet Moments Cat treats, GNC Calming formula, and there is Calm-o-mile, Natures Miracle calming spray, Vetri-Science's Composure is another item to look at, Pet Remedy - UK (it has valerian) is yet another, as is Essential Pet Pet-eze, Pet Organics No Stress, Only Natural Pet (brand and website) has other calming products, Pet Naturals also has one I believe, and there are others.

Lambert Vet Supply is a website to look at, and of course chewy, also there's Petwishpros, animaleo, 1-800-petmeds, Petco and PetSmart, and other pet stores.

There is also a product called a lickimat which could be helpful, as cats can be calmed by the process of licking.

foodpuzzlesforcats.com

This post talks about some other products;
Calming Treats For A Very Picky Cat

 

[fionasmom]

This is sort of the reverse of Jamie, my orange boy. In his case, he is very bonded to me and only allows interaction with my husband on his terms and only at certain times, usually if treats are involved. He is funny though, he will trick my husband into thinking that if he gets treats they will be friend and lead him to the treat bowl, eat his treats, and then turn around a give a big Dracula hiss and run away.

Freddy had a male owner, so he may bond with men more easily. It does sound as if he has some level of trust with you though, especially if he lets you rub his belly.

Jamie clearly holds it against my husband that he held him while I applied Revolution and that he helped me get him into a carrier for his multiple vet visits for subQ fluids. My husband also went with us to the vet at that time "for support for Jamie" who apparently all the while was telling himself that it was never this bad if it was only his mommy, so things got worse. We have abandoned the idea of him doing anything in that regard for Jamie and over time their relationship has improved on a guarded basis. Frankly, trimming Jamie's nails would be the kiss of death for both of us.

In Jamie's case it is turning around and I think that if you can eliminate as much as possible of things like nail trimming that Freddy will come around as well. Does it help to ignore Freddy and let him come to you on his terms?

 

[vince]

You can possibly make the nail trims "worth it" to your cat by giving the highest-valued treat to Freddy after the nail trims are finished. Mine get a couple of their favorite treats as soon as distasteful jobs like nail trimmings and Furminator sessions are done. Perhaps spreading the trims into smaller segments like one foot at a time, followed by the treats, will work better. It would certainly give more opportunities for reinforcement of the desired behavior.