Making friends with a stray

[anni7]

Our neighobur suddenly passed away in January. He had a cat about 3 year old whose name is Jack. Jack is a timid cat and doesnt let people near. He grew up with the man who died John but when he was a small kitten he was living in a place where he was mistreated and kicked. Jack never allowed strangers near. When the man passed Jack kept coming to try to meet his owner. His owner had mental health and health issues and was at times away in hopsital for up to 2 months. I dont know what Jack did during these times. In January i found Jack in the yard of our block looking thinner and having lost a lot of longer fur off his tail. We started feeding Jack and he started to come to our unit. However we already have 2 cats inside. Jack only came as far as corridor and living room and cats were locked away. He only ate in the unit at night but we had to bring food out in the morning. Because its getting cold we fed him 3 times a day- 430-530 pm,~8- 9-1130pm and 3 -7am- these are the times chosen by Jack. We always have someone in who can feed him or if not my fiance came in to feed him. He was the closest to my fiance. Tonight Jack came in at his usual 8 pm because it was raining and came inside but the security door shut behind him by the wind. He gone really berserk very scared climbed on door and peed on it in fright. We initially couldn't approach as he tried to bite and scratch. He made howling noises and shook the door. In a minute or two we managed to open the door (with him stuck to it) and he gone running and ran and ran without letting us approach with his unfinished food. He didn't let my fiance whom he trusts the most to go anywhere near him.
My fiance believes all the hard work of coming to see the cat by the clock (he lives near by) is in vain as the cat will not go near us due to extreme fright ever again in my fiance's opinion. Ive never had cats until the recent time so i dont know. Is this true?

 

[charliekitty]

I think it is too early to judge. Don't count him out. His need for food and survival instinct might just overcome his hesitation although he will no doubt be suspicious. You have proven that you are a food source and have been nice to him. If he won't agree to the prior arrangement, try putting food outside the door until you can reestablish trust. Try to keep to the prior schedule too. I believe when he gets hungry enough, he'll approach but don't force him or make sudden moves toward him. Allow him to choose the terms as much as you can.

He may lurk in the background until he is more sure of himself. Patience goes a long way with a stray or feral. Time, patience and no forcing of the situation. When I am working with a stray. I put the food down and then back off letting them know I'm there--sometimes I go inside the house looking out the window. Sometimes I don't see them but they know the food is there for them. Just don't make any overtures that might scare them. Usually, they will come a bit closer over time. Some faster than others. Let it unfold on his terms. Maybe get a doorstop to have handy so you don't get a repeat of the door shutting if he does come in. He'll want to make sure he has an escape route. Don't forget to use the slow blink of your eye which says I'm friendly. He will be watching for it even if he doesn't respond in kind. He obviously needs your help and you are kind hearted to do so. Be patient and don't give up on him!

 

[anni7]

I also believe he will come back
I have many relatives and friends who have cats and although i dont spend much time with them i do know how cats behave. I noticed that even the more wild ones do come back if they need to eat. Jack is a tuxedo type cat and for some reason all the black and white cats i ever met were a bit crazy and wild however this didnt mean they didnt come back. When i lived with my parents there was a cat who didnt get fed enough at home and he used to shake the door and meow loudly to wake my parents up on Sundays at 7 am so that he could get his feed. He also once had a door shut on him (on purpose) and my mother didnt open it fast enough when he finished eating. The door opens in the flat on the outside so we dont normally put door stop there and cant as the door is a bit high from the ground. So in the other situation the cat climbed onto the security door too and he wasnt too happy but not scared in that case and came back just the same. I hope Jack will come. We dont approach and do it always on his terms. I sometimes lose patience so my fiance does all the work. The cat regularly hisses if we approach too close but he did allow my partner to pet him once. So he is getting close or rather he was

 

[anni7]

I will buy a large door stop like a stuffed sand one tomorrow

 

[charliekitty]

If you have a garage or storage that looks anything like mine, you'll be able to find something that will work!! LOL Even a stick, small piece of wood, rock, broom handle, or plastic bottle filled with water; whatever you can find that will do the job and be easy for you to use!

My first rescue (& first cat) was two 4-5-mo old kittens. I thought I was feeding one but turned out to be two sisters. One was always hiding so it was awhile before I realized there were two. They were born feral and I assumed their mother, a bobtail, was too wild to rescue other than trap, spay & return but she did walk in the door to the food bowl one day so I closed the door. Big mistake. She was frantically climbing the blinds to get out. I was green and had no idea what I was doing at the time. As it turned out she had a second litter of kittens and she was going to fight to get back to them. I was able to trap her for spaying soon after. I had a deadline because I was moving. A neighbor saved her kittens (2nd litter) from another neighbor's roof and rehomed them with his sister which I did not find out about until later. She had her kittens on the roof of a 2-story house! She had been climbing straight up a downspout to get on the roof!! Their survival instincts are very strong. Mama was very weak & ill after spaying so I nursed her back to health and she just stayed on and in hindsight was also grieving her kittens.

You just can't know what situation a stray/feral is in if you can't observe what is going on. Fortunately we had a happy ending and mama & her two girls are still with me 11 years later living a pampered life inside!! My later rescues went much smoother. A lot of it is intuitive and you might make some missteps but if you adjust as you go, it seems to work out. I later learned to be more patient (not having a deadline helps!) and let things unfold more naturally. I'm working with a couple semi-ferals now but I am maxed out on indoor cats so they will remain outdoors. About 4 people that I know of feed strays in our neighborhood.

Sounds to me like you are well on your way to honing your inner cat!! Wishing the best for you all!! Kudos to your fiance for his knightly efforts!!

 

[anni7]

The cat came back but eats outside he doesnt approach the door even 20 feet

 

[gareth]

I think he will come back too. Some cats take weeks or months to come out of their shells and start to lose some of the fear. The trick with strays is that your patience needs to outlast theirs. 

 

[anni7]

He is back he does approach our unit but doesnt come inside so we let him eat outside the door. He initially was afraid of the door and didnt want to eat next to it but yeaterday he did just a meter from it. He prob will come inside soon

 

[charliekitty]

Great news! He's rebounding even faster than I would have guessed! A setback with the scary door but he's not giving up.

 

[anni7]

Well he only now came 2 times ie his afternoon time and morning. He didnt come at 1 am as usual as we have been looking every 10 -15 min for him at about 12-1 am. We started to look for him to come for the second night time feed at about 930 every 15 min too. My fiance went around the block to call him as Jack sometimes comes running when called. So still came at 5 pm and 630 am. So he skipped his night time feed.
Today its 530 pm where i am but no cat. As usual weve been keeping an eye on him since 4 30 pm and usually hed be here.. Hope cat is ok. We looked around in the yard and street and no cat. We know what he does most days when it doesn't rain- he sleeps under or near an oleander shrub in the far side of the small garden near block of units where we live. If it rains or is cold he is inside eating or under the house there is a small room that has no door where phone connections are. But he is nowehere to be found. I also seen him go across the road a few times even before. We dont know where he goes.

 

[charliekitty]

If he's anything like the strays I've known he probably has several hideouts. They seem to rotate--each having their own preference, of course! A calico I rescued seemed to stick to a few spots and then pick new ones every 3 months or so. I always wondered if it was boredom or a smart survival instinct. I finally brought her inside and she did the same thing inside. I have bunches of cat beds tucked in everywhere it seems. Since she was an older kitty, the others let her pick her favorite spot and let her be. It was very diplomatic & respectful!

I feed a few strays on my porch but do not see them regularly and don't seem to keep a schedule either. I suspect they have to keep an eye out for confrontations with the other strays, raccoons, possums, the neighbor cat that patrols in afternoon and the neighborhood children & dogs being walked on leashes as well as make sure they hit the feeding areas when there is food. Sounds exhausting, doesn't it? Not an easy job trying to stay alive. I'm not able to see as much of the comings and goings where I live now as I could at the previous house. I do know a couple of them only come every few days or week but there are other food sources in the area so seem to be doing okay.

That's a really good sign that he has come running when your fiance calls even if it's not every time. If he's eating something each day, he'll improve.

 

[anni7]

He comes every day since February. Initially he didnt come much the he mustve realised we feed him. Today my fiance found him next to neighbours house next door to us. He goes there sometimes too. But his favourite spot is on the property where we are next to oleander tree. Hed sleep there almost whole day every day for months. Weve been seeing him there since about 5-6 weeks ago.

 

[anni7]

He called and Jack came running to his call. Initially we found him in early february and he rarely ate what we gave. We realsied and neighbours told us he doesnt like fish. So he wont eat any food with it. Our cats have allergies and food intolerances so they eat just chicken we cook for them and special prescirbed dry food. Any cat can eat those biscuits they are judt hydrolised protein for allergic cats. Gave these to Jack he didnt want it. He brought a rat looked at the food and grabbed the rat and went to eat it somewhwre i assumed.
We then found out from neighbours what his owner John fed him and started feeding same and he started to come every day since late February or early march

 

[anni7]

Today the cat came to the garden and there was a neighburs bull terrier. Thr dog chased Jack baring its teeth. My fiance saw it and told the woman who was laughing about her dog chasing Jack to get the dog now. She only went to help after he spoke to her before she was finding it funny. The dog chased the cat around the block. When she got the dog the cat again doesnt come to us. I just cant get it what was funny about a dog trying to kill the cat. I dont really know what to do. My fiance went to the neighbours to tell them why the did this but they quickly took the dog in and locked the door. We dont think they will answer the door if we go downstairs to talk to them.

 

[anni7]

jack came back but a few times the dog again ran out. She again tried to catch Jack. Bull terriers are very fast and she nearly got him again. We threatened to put a complaint to police as the dog is trying to kill the cat so it is dangerous to small animals since the owners cant or dont care to contain it. If we get the cat inside he is going to be an inside cat but we are not there yet. He doesnt trust us fully he only comes to the door but does not go in. He walks around the door as he must remember it trapping him