Lump Biopsied & I Need to Be Talked Off the Proverbial Ledge

[deathvalleyqueen]

I took my 9-year-old cat Coco yesterday morning to the vet to have a cyst on his head drained/removed. However, it turned out not to be a cyst but a mass. They took a section of it to biopsy and culture, and I’ll know the results by the end of next week.

I am so scared for him and have been crying on and off since because I’m already fearing the worst. I don’t know how I’ll handle waiting the week for the results.

All his other tests - blood work, ECG, and chest x-ray were normal, and an initial cytology said the mass was consistent with an inflammatory lesion - so I wasn’t expecting this.

I don’t want to lose him. He’s just the most fun, energetic cat, and has been my anchor through some really tough times in my life.

I’ve started reading all of these posts and stories all over the internet about people having cats diagnosed with cancer and 100% losing my shit imaging this happening to my baby Coco. He’s just sweet baby and I can’t imagine being without him. I know I should stop reading and Googling, that trying to read the tea leaves of what the lump could via internet posts is, I know, a fruitless endeavor and has only gotten me worked up and crying.

I’ve had all rolling around in my head and, I guess, I just want to stop crying and get all these words out in a place that may understand.

 

[Furballsmom]

We do understand and I'm so glad you're here.

However, your kitty is like a sponge for your emotions and doesn't understand why you are this upset.

If you can, go for a walk, do yoga, listen to music, whatever it might take to slow down your mind.

He needs you to be strong, and I know you can do this, for him

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. There is nothing wrong with suspecting the worst, but also everything right in hoping for the best. You don't know what you can't know - until you get results back.

And I agree with Furballsmom about trying to take the positive route so that Coco isn't affected by your emotions. Easier said than done, I know! If Coco is doing well otherwise, celebrate that!

I have a 17+ yo cat whom I am waiting (now for over 2 weeks) for results from a specialized test to determine if she might have lymphoma, so trust me I can very much relate!! But she is doing pretty well, and I revel in that. What will be will be - but, enjoying every minute I have with her - one way or the other - is what I am determined to do! Take a step away from that 'ledge' and give Coco a hug!

And keep talking to us as you need to!

 

[deathvalleyqueen]

We do understand and I'm so glad you're here.

However, your kitty is like a sponge for your emotions and doesn't understand why you are this upset.

If you can, go for a walk, do yoga, listen to music, whatever it might take to slow down your mind.

He needs you to be strong, and I know you can do this, for him

Thanks so much for your response!

And, going for a walk, get some errands done, and, most importantly, staying away from the internet for awhile really did help to shift my focus and break out of the cocoon of negative thinking I had wrapped myself up in since yesterday.

So, my aim is going to be calm vibes for Coco and no more Googling sprees. Both feel like pretty ambitious goals at the moment but I’m going to do my best.

 

[Furballsmom]

I’m going to do my best.

You're fantastic !!

 

[deathvalleyqueen]

Hi. There is nothing wrong with suspecting the worst, but also everything right in hoping for the best. You don't know what you can't know - until you get results back.

And I agree with Furballsmom about trying to take the positive route so that Coco isn't affected by your emotions. Easier said than done, I know! If Coco is doing well otherwise, celebrate that!

I have a 17+ yo cat whom I am waiting (now for over 2 weeks) for results from a specialized test to determine if she might have lymphoma, so trust me I can very much relate!! But she is doing pretty well, and I revel in that. What will be will be - but, enjoying every minute I have with her - one way or the other - is what I am determined to do! Take a step away from that 'ledge' and give Coco a hug!

And keep talking to us as you need to!

I’m
I found this place and people who can understand where I’m coming from.

You are absolutely right about enjoying how awesome Coco is. He’s been all about the pets and cuddles since his surgery yesterday, and it’s not fair to him to be surrounding him in my negative energy.

I don’t know anything yet and throwing myself head first down the internet rabbit hole of doom is doing me no good. So, I do need to stay away from the Googling madness because it’s just feeding me worst case scenarios that are not forearming me knowledge but rather filling me with dread.

So, I need to step away from the Googling and aim to take things day by day. Not an easy task to be sure but one I need to do for my sake and Coco’s.

Thanks so much for reaching out!

 

[Furballsmom]

We'll be right here with you

 

[deathvalleyqueen]

To give an update, my baby Coco has a soft tissue sarcoma. He’ll need to get surgery and, if they aren’t able to get clean margins, chemotherapy. We’re trying to get him in with a surgical oncologist within the next two weeks. I’m absolutely devastated.

I never prayed harder in my life for something not to come to pass and here we are. It seems no one in my life is answering their phones, so I’m sitting in my house weeping. You all were so supportive when I posted originally, so right now this is the only place I can vent since no one else in my life is around right now.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I am so sorry that it turned out to be cancerous. Since it sounds like Coco isn't showing other signs of cancer, perhaps this is very early on, and the surgery will reap good results. I know it is tough to try to stay positive given these results, but please try as much as you can to do so for both Coco and you. I am hoping you hear soon from those you reached out to. It does help to talk through your feelings with those who care about you and that you care about.

 

[KittyFriday]

I'm sorry for the bad news, but it sounds like it hasn't spread and they seem optimistic about surgery being a fix? Hopefully that takes care of it and you can both be done with it.

Sending you good vibes!

 

[fionasmom]

It does count for something that those other tests were normal, so don't give up hope. Clean margins may also be possible in the hands of a good surgeon, so you are doing the right thing to consult with the specialist. I had a cat years ago, Daddy Cat, who had skin cancer deep in the ear canal...not on the tips of the ears as you might expect. He lost his ear and some of his scalp, but lived out the rest of his life with no recurrence and that was before chemo and more standard human cancer treatments were used widely for animals.

 

[deathvalleyqueen]

Thank you all for your kind words; it does mean a lot. I’m still crying off and on, though I am trying to hold it together.

I had planned on taking Coco to the Surgical Oncology department at the Animal Medical Center here in NYC but they have no openings until October and the sarcoma needs to be removed within the next two weeks. I’ve asked my vet to send Coco’s records to Blue Pearl as well. I’m a bit frustrated that, despite the urgency, my vet hasn’t really done more to get Coco in with a specialist, other than give me a couple of phone numbers to call. I’ve posted a separate thread asked for NYC recommendations if anyone has a practice they can recommend.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Blue Pearl 'swallowed up' a whole host of 'independent' specialty groups, so I would hope that each one is as responsive as they once were before Blue Pearl took them over. The one I am dealing with I can deal with directly - after the initial records were sent to them. So, that means call your vet every day and ask if the records have been sent - AND TELL THEM YOU WANT TO BE COPIED ON THE EMAIL. You have a right to those records, whether or not they are being sent elsewhere. I would also call Blue Pearl directly, tell them what is going on and ask for their assistance - if they are like the one I am dealing with, they may just reach out to your vet to receive the necessary records!!

Again, every place is different, but so far, I have been able to get an appt. with Blue Pearl within 2 weeks of asking for one. But they have also told me to continually call them looking for cancellations.

 

[deathvalleyqueen]

After calling around to vets in three states for the last couple of days, I got a surgical consult for the end of next week with a Blue Pearl within a half hour of me. I am so relieved because I was despairing of getting Coco in somewhere. It seemed everywhere was a month or more out, or not accepting new patients.

But now a week seems so far away, which I know it’s not, but I want that sarcoma out of Coco now, now, now. And, It looks about the same size as it was when I first noticed it 3-and-half weeks ago but who knows what could happen in a week? Anyone want to talk some sense into me, please?

 

[FeebysOwner]

What sense to be talked into? You are reacting the way ANY OF US WOULD!!! It is great news about the appt. time!!

I was recently told my cat has lymphoma (possibly multiple types) and am now awaiting an oncology appt. with Blue Pearl on 8/5. And this is a place that I have been to before, but still could not get in before then. (But it is close to that 2-week period I spoke about.)

I am going about my business, taking care of Feeby as best I can, and trying to not let her know it is driving me crazy. Hard, but the only way I know how to make her - and me - not be too impacted during the wait.

 

[fionasmom]

I am so glad that you were able to get an appointment for next week. This is serious, but there is no reason to think that it will spread within a week. When you see the oncologist, have a list of questions with you, in writing if necessary, and ask that they all be answered. A number of websites discuss cat soft tissue sarcomas, along with human sarcomas, and will help you to generate a list of questions that will apply to your baby.

Even in human cancer treatment, the time frame from diagnosis to treatment decision to actual surgery and/or other adjuvant therapies is much longer than 3 weeks.

Please let us know what happens.

 

[deathvalleyqueen]

What sense to be talked into? You are reacting the way ANY OF US WOULD!!! It is great news about the appt. time!!

I was recently told my cat has lymphoma (possibly multiple types) and am now awaiting an oncology appt. with Blue Pearl on 8/5. And this is a place that I have been to before, but still could not get in before then. (But it is close to that 2-week period I spoke about.)

I am going about my business, taking care of Feeby as best I can, and trying to not let her know it is driving me crazy. Hard, but the only way I know how to make her - and me - not be too impacted during the wait.

I am so sorry to hear about the lymphoma diagnosis but am glad you’re able to get an oncology appointment. Perhaps they’ll be able to get y’all in sooner on a cancellation?

But, you know, I’m so frustrated with myself. Earlier today, I was a weeping mess because I was being shut down by every vet specialist I called and, now, I have an appointment next week and, here I am, anxiously wanting the appointment to be, you know, right now. It’s good to hear that there are other people who would react the same way because I think I’m ridiculous.

 

[FeebysOwner]

It’s good to hear that there are other people who would react the same way because I think I’m ridiculous.

IMO, absolutely NOTHING ridiculous about it. In my case, when Feeby is being a 'butt-head' she still gets told so, and ditto with other scenarios. It helps to maintain a level of balance/familiarity, so to speak. Babying her (other than what I do already) is only going to make her suspicious!!

 

[iPappy]

I don't know if I'm just over thinking (probably am) or am more aware because I too have a pet with cancer, but it seems like cancer in our pets is getting Way Too Common. What the "H" is going on?

It is perfectly ok to be a mess, weepy, or anxious. This stuff is scary and I spent 2 weeks after my guys diagnosis doing nothing but not sleeping and crying. My dogs blood work was all over the place. High this, low that, it was assumed to be the medication he was on but no one is sure. (If he's still with me by the Grace of God this fall, we will be re-running some more to see if we've made any progress.)

Your little guy's blood work is clean, which is GREAT in his and your favor! His liver and kidneys are in good health and should handle surgery very very well, and (while I don't know much about this type of surgery) if clean margins are possible, I'd go out on a limb and say "I EXPECT the margins will be clear." I don't think you're being ridiculous at all. You're taking action and there's bound to be some anxiety there. It's just frustrating that things don't move nearly as fast as we want!

 

[deathvalleyqueen]

So, update time:
We got in to see the surgeon for the consult last week. He says it’s unlikely he’ll get clean margins because of the size of the mass and it’s location, so radiation would be needed after. Disappointing to be sure but I wasn’t entirely surprised because, just looking at it from a layperson’s perspective, it seemed large margins were unlikely.

However, what was the real surprise was the cost: $6,800. I knew the surgery was going to be expensive but this was a shock. I booked the surgery for the end of this week and then went home to panic about paying it. Taking that much out of my savings was doable but would eliminate a large part of my financial cushion, which made me really uneasy and seemed unwise in the current economy. I also considered taking out a loan, which would be easy to get and would be easier for me to manage than dipping into my savings.

I also applied to every aid program I qualified for but everyone who has responded so far has said they are currently processing waitlists, some up to a year long.

However, when I was feeling my most desperate, overwhelmed and anxious (read: yesterday), an amazing person at an organization that I had reached out to during a feverish email spree, connected me to another amazing person who got me in with a terrific veterinary surgeon nearby who will be able to do the surgery next week for a fraction of the cost of the other surgeon. I looked up this person’s bona fides and they have excellent reviews. So, not only will Coco get excellent care but he’ll also get it without me taking a large financial hit.

So, someone please ease my anxiety (because I create worst case scenarios like magicians pull bunnies out of hats), and tell me Coco will be okay waiting 5 extra days for the surgery. The mass hasn’t grown and he still as full of vim, vigor, and mischief-making as he ever was). I just want to do the right thing for Coco and not do anything that will compromise his health.